Koniichiwa minna-san. This is Soraoathkeeper, with another sad
one-shot. I've been doing lots of them for some reason, mostly for my
not-really-new category, Pokemon. Yay Ash/Misty! Maybe it's because I'm
The girl smiled slightly. It was unlike her to do that, but this was her closest friend.
She gestured to him to sit on the bed beside her. He sat, shuffling slightly, nervous. She noticed, and voiced her concern.
His head snapped up, shocked that she could tell what he was feeling so easily. But, he mused, he really shouldn't. She was just like that. And that was part of the reason he loved her.
"Do you..." he began.
She leaned forward, wondering what could be troubling him so. He stared at her. This was so unlike her. But then again, he supposed he was her 'best' friend. And that was all he was going to be.
"Do you...do you like him?"
She frowned, puzzled. Why was he asking her this? "Of course I do."
He winced. She knew who he was talking about automatically. Not a good sign.
"No, I...I mean...do you..." he gulped. This wasn't going to be easy. "Do you...like him more than a friend?"
She frowned again, distressed. He immediately picked up on it and put his arm around her. "Are you o-"
"You mean, love like?" She interrupted him.
He frowned and then nodded.
She took a deep breath and slowly twisted out of his grip. A brief flicker of intense hurt flew across his face, but he withdrew his arm and the expression at the same time.
I asked her, the one I love, if she loved him.
She said yes.
And now I'm on my knees in the forest, trying to cry with all my heart, trying to let it all pour out like water and leave me alone with no emotions, no heartbreak, no need, no anything, just like the way she acts most of the time.
But the tears won't come.
Maybe it's because I loved her. No, scratch that, I still do. Nothing has changed between us. Only the one question that had been haunting me ever since I met her has been answered.
She loves him.
She doesn't love me.
But, I guess that this is better. Knowing the truth, I mean. It's better to know exactly what she feels than pretending, then hoping against all hope that she feels the same. I know. I did that for four years.
I want to believe that. I want to believe that it's better to know the truth.
But I wanted to believe that she loved me too. I wanted to believe that she didn't love him. And because I believed that, all of the hints that showed that she did, all of the hints that showed that she didn't love me, just him, were wasted on me. And because I was a fool, because I was in love with her, because I wanted to believe that she felt the same way, I didn't see the warning signs. No, I did. I did see that she loved him, but I wanted to believe that she loved me so strongly that I was blinded and ignored them. I ignored them, and this is what happened.
I'd like to believe that maybe, just maybe, if I hadn't been so annoying, so persistent, so overly optimistic about our relationship, that she would have loved me back. And maybe if I hadn't been a coward and had admitted that I love her before she fell in love with him, her heart might have been mine. But I know, deep down, that she would never have loved me back. Because he had her heart from the start. Just like she had mine.
It's easier though, blaming it on myself. For me it is, at least. It's easier to blame it all on myself, like I had with my parents, like I had with Terra. I mean, it's better to think that you did something wrong instead of the real reason being something you can't control, like your skin color, or your height or something like that, right? But I guess it just proves how much of a coward I am. Instead of braving it and admitting that it wasn't my fault, I blame it on myself. Because I just can't bring myself to blame her, blame the one I love, because to me, she is perfect. She cannot do any wrong. And as much as I want to believe that not loving me was her only flaw, I can't, because I love her. Because I want to believe that it's mine.
But I guess it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter whose fault it is, it doesn't matter whether he had her heart at first sight or seconds before she told me that. She loves him.
And that's all that matters.
His face fell, and his eyes began to brim with tears. He angrily forced them back as the girl looked up at him, a small content smile on her face.
"So...so you do love him."
She smiled at him, really smiled, not those half smiles which she gave the others so frequently, but a real smile, the smile that made him melt inside everytime he saw it.
But this time it was a bittersweet feeling, a feeling of anger, hurt, understanding, and sorrow. "I...I do. I do." She stood up. "Oh, Beast Boy, I can finally say it! That was the question that had made me unable to sleep." Turning to him, she embraced him. "Thanks to you, I know what my answer is. I love him. I do, I do, I do." She hugged him tighter. "Thank you so much. You're the best friend I could ever have. I finally found my answer."
He hesitantly put his arms around her, wetness in his eyes. "That makes two of us."
Well, there you go!This fic was sorta weird because about halfway through it (I didn't add the italics until the end), I realized that this would work really well for a Robin/Starfire fic, although, yes, this is a one sided Beast Boy/Raven romance. You could still make it one, if you took his name out in the end...
Originally, it was supposed to be Beast Boy agonizing over Raven, who had told him that she loved Cyborg. Weird, because usually, if I go for angst, I go to Raven/Robin. Not really sure why though. If I had to pick between Raven/Robin or Raven/Cyborg, I would go for Raven/Cyborg (although, of course, my first choice would be Raven/Beast Boy). But I suppose it doesn't matter, because I didn't actually say who she loved. Oh well.
Well that's it for my part. For any of you reading my other fic, Wishing, chapter six will hopefully be up soon. I finally got the winning idea for it, and the rest of the fic will go smoothly from there. I already wrote chapter seven...here's a preview of chapter six:
Next time on Wishing: Raven agrees to go to the carnival with Beast Boy. But Beast Boy is haunted with reminders of another Titan as he and Raven begin to realize the growing feeling between them.
I still not sure if I'm going to have the 'other Titan' in there, but it's gonna be a good one! Don't miss it! Please review and tell me a)what you think of the story, b)if the other Titan should be in the next chapter of Wishing or not (that is, if you've read it), or c) all of the above!
This is Soraoathkeeper, signing off.