The Beast Within
Warning! Read this so I don't get anyone mad at me. Beast Boy will not be acting like himself! He will be vulgar, obnoxious, temperamental, fierce, like a, well, beast. His mood is the whole point of the story, and I'm sorry I changed his attitude, but I think that, if this were to happen, this would be the cause. I wanted to caution you that Beast Boy will not be acting as he usually does. He will be almost like...Raven, except he can show any type of emotions...does that even make any sense at all? Oh well, anyways, I hope you enjoy this.
I always come up with other stories when I am writing. Darn. This might be why Is This The End? is taking so long. Well, no, scratch that, what is taking so long is school and homework and babysitting and, well, you get the point. I will try to get another chapter done on that story. Anyways, again, I hope you like this.
God he missed her, more than anything. Terra. She had been on his mind since her 'stone death' and Beast Boy had not been the same since then. He would try to be a comedian, a joker, but his heart was never in it, and he knew that Raven, the only one, who noticed. For some reason, he felt pure rage toward her, and had no idea why. Maybe it was because she always brought him down, because she always rejected him, made him feel like a fool. Calm down Beast Boy, he told himself, stretching out his arms, then folding them under his head with a sigh. It's just the way Raven is. She can't help it that she can't feel any emotions, and takes those down who could feel, like Star and me. Selfish bitch. Beast Boy blinked, baffled. Okay...that's a new one. Where the hell did that come from? That it is true...oops. But, after the anger he felt, the raw heat of it, he would feel a surge of pure desire, which was a different heat than the rage, and it always freaked him out. Man, if Raven knew what and how he though of her, he would be six feet under in no time.
Damn, he was so confused. At first, when he first met her, he though he loved Terra more than anyone, but when she betrayed him and his team, he didn't know what he felt for her anymore. And now, the whole thing with Raven was driving him insane. One moment, he would give anything to just wring her slim neck, then, bam! He's having fantasies that he should not be having, especially about Raven, of all people.
With a sound between a sigh and a growl, Beast Boy sat up, crossing his legs. Damn these feelings. Damn them to hell! Why couldn't he have a normal life? Well, a normal love life. I mean, come on! He loved a girl who betrayed him to be his teams' worst enemy, and now, he was having fantasies about a girl who couldn't feel, and saw him only as a joke. Maybe it would be better if he couldn't show any emotion like Raven. God, I swear, every thought I have has the name 'Raven' in it. Maybe I should ask Robin about it. Yeah, I think I will. I bet he has the same feelings that I am about Star—wait! Nope. That can't be right. Robin is in love with Starfire. I am so not in love with Raven, the prude...damn. There I go again. Insulting her. I guess a part of me doesn't like her. But why? With a careless shrug, he jumped up, and headed for the weight room, where Robin was bound to be, dragging his feet slowly.
He sighed again. Why were emotions so mystifying? Especially love. Love, apparently, was Beast Boy's worst enemy, for what he loved, never loved him back. He had no idea if Terra had loved him, but if she had chosen to deceive him, then...she must not have had the same feelings. And Raven, geez, he didn't love her, but he did, oh, how do you say it with out seeming perverted? Oh, right, lusted after her. Lust. Not love. Never love.
He turned the corner, ran into someone, and went flying back on his butt. With a incoherent curse, he glanced at the person who had knocked him down, and was also sprawled out on the floor. Raven. The person who haunted his thoughts relentlessly, day and night, no matter where he was. Perfect. Just perfect.
Raven glared, and was stunned when Beast Boy glared back. "Excuse me." He muttered, not at all apologetic, and the look he gave her was one of aggravation and frustration. Bemused, she watched him scramble up to his feet. He stood up, walking right past her, not even bothering to help her up.
"Thank you for you hospitality, Beast Boy." She said sardonically, though her voice was monotonous, as usual.
"Whatever." He mumbled. She raised an eyebrow at his attitude, shrugged it off as she pulled her hood up, and stood up, dusting herself off. Since he was still in audible range, she asked, "What is with you," and wondered why she even cared.
"None of your damn business, Raven. So, bug off." Though he didn't say bug off. Eyebrow still raised, she walked off, puzzled and cursing herself for being troubled about his strange behavior towards her.
Beast Boy, or the other side of Beast Boy, the moody Beast Boy, walked into the weight room, arms crossed over his somewhat powerfully built chest, and leaned against the wall, waiting for Robin to be done with his work out. Robin was literally beating the stuffing out of the punching bag, and never detected Beast Boy was there until the peculiar olive teen cleared his throat rather harshly and noisily, since the first time didn't work well.
Robin stopped, and Beast Boy chuckled when the punching bag made a U-turn and hit Robin in the back. Robin jerked forward, glared, and walked over to his water bottle.
"What's up, B.B.?" Gulping down the cold water and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, Robin grabbed a towel and dabbed at the sweat off his brow.
"How do you feel about Starfire?"
Robin, who was about to put his water bottle down, froze, the bottle tumbling out of his hands and hitting the floor disregarded by either teen.
"Wh—what? Why? Why do you need to know?"
"Just answer the question, Robin." Brow's strained together at Beast Boy's snippy tone, Robin sat down on the bench, rubbing the towel over his forehead. "I...haven't really thought about it."
"Do you find yourself irritated with her, or angry, then you just, I don't know, have moments when you just want to...uh...um..." Beast Boy flushed, embarrassed, and evidently trying to find the right word to say...uh...what he meant.
"I think I know what you're trying to say. And...actually, yeah, yeah, I do that constantly, all the time actually. Just about everyday, 24 hours a day, whatever suits me. Why do you ask?"
Beast Boy gave a jerky shrug. "I was just wondering." An uncomfortable silence filled the air like a choking fog. Fidgeting now, Beast Boy cleared his throat. "Do you love her?"
Robin glanced up. "Uh, I...I don't know. Maybe. I'm really confused actually, about my feeling for her." Beast Boy nodded, understanding exactly what the Boy Wonder was going through.
"Is this about you feeling for Raven?" Beast Boy watched with narrowed eyes as Robin hid a knowing grin.
"Bug off." Again, he didn't exactly say bug, but more of a word that started with, well, an 'F'.
"Hmm, your in a good mood." Robin stated sarcastically, tossing the towel in the hamper by the door. With narrowed eyes, Beast Boy said, "Anyways, what am I supposed to do about these 'feelings'? One minute, I want to just rip her to shreds, the next, well, you know."
"Yeah, but I'm sorry, but I don't even know what to do about Star, and our feeling are almost indistinguishable. Sorry," Robin concluded with a sympathetic shrug. Beast Boy growled in frustration, walked out of the weight room, debating whether or not he should talk to Star. I guess it wouldn't hurt, he thought, already rapping on her door.
It slid open and the ever so cheerful features of Starfire appeared. She was obviously pleased to see him, or just happy for the company. He was leaning toward the second choice.
He felt his face flush in embarrassment, and he rubbed the back of his head. "Uh, Star, can I ask you a question?"
"Certainly, Beast Boy. I would be most pleased if you would." He raised his eyebrow and lowered them fast at her words, and walked into her room when she stepped aside.
Her room was so...bright and cheerful. Most of her belongings were purple and pink or bright, noticeable colors, stuffed animal and little trinkets filling every nook and cranny of her room, yet it was spotless. Uncomfortable in such a clean room, Beast Boy turned so he was facing Starfire.
"How do you feel about Robin?" He asked quickly, wishing he were anywhere but here.
Startled, Starfire blinked. "I...I am unsure, truthfully. The emotions I am experiencing, I have never known before, consequently, I am uncertain about my feelings toward him."
Sighing, Beast Boy rubbed a palm over his left eye. "Do you even know what love is?"
Her green eyes brightened. "Of course. I love all of you very much. Is that not the love you are mentioning?" She asked when Beast Boy groaned.
"No, Star. I mean the love that...Oh, never mind."
"Please enlighten me of the love you are talking about."
With an aggravated sigh, Beast Boy explained. "The love I'm talking about it the love you feel with somebody, and not in the friendly way you were thinking. It's kinda like a feeling that whenever they leave you feel empty, or when you see them, you feel like a part of you had returned. And you get a gushy feeling. Kinda along those lines."
She nodded, in her own world. "Is that what this feeling I have is called? Love?"
Grinning at the direction the talk was heading, Beast Boy nodded. "Yeah, that's what it's called. Now, I was wondering..." Wait. How could he ask her what he was going through? She just found out what the love he was talking about, and her emotions were sappy and romantic, whereas Beats Boy's was, again, just pure lust. He needed to talk about this to a guy, and since he was defiantly not talking to Cyborg about this, he was screwed.
"What were you speculating, Beast Boy?" He glanced up, mumbled a "Never mind" and thanked her for her help, though she had given none.
He heard her give a bubbly, "I welcome you!" and walked out of her room.
Damn. He was getting nowhere. He jumped when the buzzer went off, signaling an attack of a villain. Glancing down with a growl, he counted in his mind for Robin to jump and say "Trouble!"
Five. Four. Three. Two. One. "Titans, trouble!"