A/N: My YohXAnna one-shot is up. It's called "Painting Perfection" so if you're a Yona fan, be sure to give that a read; and pop in a review while you're at it ;)
For those of you who are wondering about Fourplay – it's coming! If all goes well, it'll probably be posted on September 1st. As for Shaman King Marriage Prospects, I'm aiming to post ANNA's page up on August 31st.
M0rbidity – this girl's gonna kill me; I make her beta-read so many of my fics, heh. Thank you so much! If you need anything, I am at your beck and call.
I'd like to thank the following people for reviewing, and being my encouragement to continue this fic: asn water, sakura-star69, bOw-doWn-tO-KeiKO, Queenstheif Draconess herselve, Itako No Anna Asakura, blah, LadyDragonfly23, Anime-Mastah, Dragon Empress, Helena-Jeanne-Chibi, Keitorin Asthore, Falcon Strife, winner-loser, and Kurai Okami-chan.
I promise to do review replies in the next chapter. Oh, and just as a forewarning: breast-feeding is mentioned in this chapter. So if you don't like things like those… uhm, yeah.
Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King. Hiroyuki Takei does.
"Hehe, look! I'm a walrus!"
"Yoh, take those chopsticks out of your mouth THIS INSTANT!"
Kino slapped her forehead – she wanted to slap them, but grandchild abuse wasn't her thing.
"Let's. Get. Started," she mumbled through gritted teeth.
Yoh reluctantly stopped imitating a humpback whale, and Anna put down the butter knife she was prepared to spear him with.
It was like a rendition of Moby Dick. A horrible, horrible rendition that shall never be mentioned again.
"So, it should be obvious what we're planning to learn now."
"Yes," both chorused.
The setting was the kitchen. The lesson: learning to feed a baby.
"So, if your child was hungry, what would you do?"
"Feed it," Yoh answered proudly.
Okay, so they were making progress. I mean, it was better than sitting on their baby, right?
"What he said," Anna chimed in, evidently bored out of her mind. She began playing with the stove. The flames instantly shot up.
"Good idea, Anna!" Kino stated, a breath of relief escaping her as she realized their child just may survive afterall, "Cooking is a vital skill around the house."
"I know how to cook," the brunette Asakura declared.
"She means edible things," the itako retorted.
"Are so edible!"
Slap. And the shaman/walrus/humpback whale was put temporarily out of commission.
"Will you two act your age, not your shoe size?"
Kino was evidently fed up.
Yoh stared at his feet. What was he? Size... eight. And Anna's were even smaller.
Their elder continued with an air of authority, "As I was saying, cooking is a vital skill. Can you cook for a baby? And most importantly, Anna, are you prepared to breast feed?"
Anna's eyes widened to the size of saucers.
"By breast, do you mean my own?"
"Tamao, Pirika, Eliza, Ryu–"
"Ryu's a guy," Yoh interjected, raising an eyebrow.
"He wouldn't know the difference between breast-feeding and chest-feeding."
"Hey! They do rhyme."
Kino again slapped her forehead, where a bruise was beginning to form.
"And if your baby doesn't accept the food?"
"We could use that method where the parent pretends the food is an airplane and the mouth is an airport," Yoh mumbled absentmindedly, waving his hand around and making 'vroom' sounds.
"And what if your baby likes trains?"
"We could shove it down their throats. NO ONE DISOBEYS THE WIFE OF THE SHAMAN KING," Anna slammed her fish down onto the kitchen counter as Yoh continued his chants of 'vrooooooom'.
Yoh decided it would be a good time to raid the fridge, and indulged himself in some ice cream.
"Share," Anna commanded.
"But Anna...," Yoh replied, a hint of desperation lacing his voice.
A glare, and it was all over.
Anna scooped spoonfuls of ice cream and ate them happily, while Yoh decided to suck on a piece of candy he found stuffed into his back pocket instead.
What was he saving it for again? He'd just shrugged it off. His stomach demanded it.
"DAMNIT I GIVE UP. YOUR CHILD IS GOING TO STARVE. Now let's move on already," Kino bellowed, throwing her hands up in exasperation.
"We could always order Chinese Take-Out. Duh," Anna stated matter-of-factly.
Kino wasn't paying an ounce of attention whatsoever and chose instead to drag them by their toenails out of the kitchen, Yoh complaining the entire way about his recent now-ruined pedicure.
TO BE CONTINUED
A/N: I got my hair cut today! It used to be really long, like twelve inches or so. Until they chopped off seven to eight inches and did layers, angling, all that mumbo jumbo. It's so much lighter than before, I think I lost a pound or two! Yeah, screw diets, just get your hair cut.
Anyway, Chapter Three: La La Dreamland is on the way. R&R, please.