Fanfiction! Part Two!
Authors note:Ok, so its been a couple of months since I updated this last… but it's all good… right? WRONG! So so sosososososo! Sorry for the lack of update. I did not forget, just merely was busy with other projects. "Stuck" can keep ya busy! So, here is the next chapter of Fanfiction! Part Two!
Disclaimer:One, CSI and the characters within it do NOT belong to me, and two, the lyrics in this song do not either. They are from Britney Spears "Toxic." So, yeah.
"Ahhhh!! So… much… DNA…" whined Nick as he viewed the bed sheet that had been logged into evidence during the fan fiction break through his sexy orange filtered glasses and the ALS that he gripped in his hand. He turned it off as he heard the door swing open.
"Nick, Grissom's called us all to the break room!" squealed Brass in delight, although no one in the CSI world would have ever imagined Brass as a 'squealer.'
In just a matter of seconds, the two men were finding their places around the laptop that sat on the break room table, and watching excitedly as Catherine loaded the ever-slow page.
"I think 15 minutes is a sufficient amount of time to fool the boss," said Grissom as he sat down.
"I don't know, Gil, I don't think I was fooled much by nightshifts pitiful attempt at working."
The CSI's gasped, thunder cracked, the lights flickered, and somewhere from the depths for the lab a girly scream was heard.
"Warrick, will you stop flickering the lights and will someone PLEASE tell Sanders that if he does not stop watching horror movies on lab time, he's out of a job?" said Ecklie, a nasty vein popping out from his neck. The CSI's could not help but stare at the protruding vein as Ecklie smiled.
"I call him Egor!" said Ecklie cheerfully, then he cleared his throat, "But that's not important. What IS important is… hey, what are you reading?"
"Research?" said Grissom.
"Fan mail?" said Nick.
"Porn?" added Greg as he and Warrick walked into the room, Warrick resisting flicking the lights one more time for effect.
"Hey, I know what this is!" said Ecklie as he leaned over Catherine's shoulder to get a better look at the screen, "It's fan fiction! Oh, you are all SO busted! Finally! I can fire you all and the lab will be mine!! Oh… and Sophia's…"
Ecklie turned around and started for the door, but stopped when Sara said his name.
"Hey, uh, Ecklie. You might want to revise that statement. This fics about you."
The CSI's gasped and turned to the screen, and Ecklie, being the egotistical, er, man, that he was, ran back to the group. Sara pointed to a link in the middle of the page and read the summary out loud.
"Everyone knows that Ecklie hates Grissom, but is that how he really feels?"
Everyone's mouth dropped open and Ecklie turned to Catherine, who had control of the mouse.
"If you don't open this fic, I'll see to it personally that you are fired… no, better yet, that these embarrassing photos of you from the New Years party are posted all over the lab," said Ecklie, pulling out three photos from his pocket, three pictures of Catherine hanging onto various long and slender objects while…
Catherine quickly snatched the pictures and clicked the link.
"Hey all! Ok, ok, ok! So, I was thinking about it the other day and I realized something. Ecklie hates Grissom! So, I decided that, hey, I'll write a fic about it. But then I got to some more thinking, which kinda hurt, but was SOOOOOOO worth it… and is that how Ecklie really feels? Well… read on already!!!!!!1"
Ecklie was already salivating, the CSI's exchanged looks of worry. History told them they should run, the love of their jobs, though, kept them scrolling on.
"It was a beautiful day and Ecklie sat at his desk. He was feeling evil, but ever since he had met Gil Grissom, he had felt evil."
"So true," said Ecklie, before Greg reached over and smacked him.
"Ecklie thought back to that day, then reached into his desk, and pulled out a worn picture that he had kept there for as long as he could remember. As he stared at the picture, he made an important decision. Grissom needed to know the truth."
"Yeah… Grissom, I've been plotting your death. It's called 'Death by hot air ballon and many needles."
Grissom frowned and made a mental note not to go near hot air balloons… or needles.
"Ecklie found Grissom sitting in the break room as soon after assignments had been handed out. Calmly, he sat across from him and cleared hi throat.
'Ecklie,' mumbled Grissom, looking over his glasses at him.
'Grissom, I have something to tell you. I… I only pretend to hate you to hide the truth that… I'm really in love with you. You're just so… toxic."
Suddenly, Ecklie was on the table, stripping off his suit to reveal a bright green and yellow suit with a big 'G' on it. Loud music started playing out of nowhere and Ecklie started dancing to the hypnotic beat. Grissom was clearly taken aback, but recognized the tune as Britney Spears, 'Toxic,' even as, in a high-pitched voice, Ecklie started singing along with the pop-star.
"Baby, can't you see
A guy like you
Should wear a warning
No one dared move closer to Ecklie as they read the story, to scared that one touch could set him off in either direction. On one hand, he could salivate even more and jump Grissom, and on the other, he could go crazy, pull out a gun and shoot them all dead. Grissom finally managed to move to the corner farthest from Ecklie as the group continued on."
"With a taste of you lips
I'm on a ride
I'm slipping under…
With a taste of poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that you're toxic?
And I love what you do
Don't you know that you're toxic?"
Ecklie's dance and music number had ended and he kneeled in front of Grissom, arms outstretched, breathing hard.
"Grissom, you're so toxic… and that's why, for all these years, I've had to pretend to hate you… to hide this love"
Grissom stared at Ecklie, then over his shoulder.
"Well, Ecklie, I'm sorry, as lovely as that music number was, I already have my true love. It has and always will be… Nick."
"Gah!!!! SLASH!!!" screamed Nick, running out of the room, sobbing.
"I'll go get the net," said Brass, who had suddenly appeared out of nowhere, cursing the author for the duty, the author cursing herself for writing the last two pages.
Ecklie slowly backed away from the computer, careful not to make eye contact with any of the nightshift CSI's.
"Well, uh, it's been… ummm, real. A little too real. I'm just gonna, go back to my big office and plot some evil plots for killing all of you! Oh, and wash my retinas…"
And with that, he slinked out of the break room, leaving Grissom rocking himself in the corner, Catherine wondering what he meant by "a little too real," Sara stunned by the contents of the story, Nick running from the slash, Brass saving Nick from the slash, and Greg and Warrick laughing hard at the sight of all the other who were emotionally scarred by the story.
"Hey, there's more," said Catherine, scrolling down to the last few lines on the page.
"Lol, guys, wasn't that fun?? Ok, ok, ok!1 Next chapter we explore the complicated relationship that Greg and Warrick have… and the hot sexxy luuuvvv between them!"
Greg and Warrick stopped laughing and stared at each other before backing away. Sara and Catherine laughed, and the author backed away from her computer, whistling "Toxic" and wonder how she even managed to get through this fic without throwing up herself…
A.N. :lol! Ok, there you go! Next time the CSI's stumble across a holiday fic, and cringe when they are revisited by… well, tune in next time to find out!