I love this story!

Don't ask me why, I don't know. My mate Natalie came up with the idea so all praises go to her. This is a VERY short chapter. I think I might put chapter 2 up as well, depending on how kind I'm feeling this evening. We'll see…

Yup, it's the on about the Orc falling in love. Eventually. You'll see what I mean. Also, thanks go to Navaer Lalaith for help with the Elvish. You and your site are fab!

I think that's it. On with Go Kiss an Orc!


Bado nestago lammech nuin nîf orch.

(Go Kiss an Orc.)

Chapter 1: A monster.

Annon len sen narn na lenn a nír. No i nar herio.

I present to you this tale of a journey and tears. May the tale begin.

I am a monster.

There are no other words to describe me so perfectly.

I used to be beautiful. Now I am ugly.

And there is nothing I can do about it.

I must be the first female Orc to walk this Earth. One of the first.

Many, many years ago, I was captured. Tortured, beaten, raped…you name it; it was done to me. They turned me into one of them. A monster, an ugly beast. Slowly, I lost my beauty. My fair skin became black and wrinkled. My once crystalline eyes turned red and yellow like dragon eyes. I grew fatter, broader, and some of my strength dwindled.

Yes, I used to be an Elf. Then the Orcs imprisoned me and turned me into one of their own. I don't think they meant to though. I was just holding on for so long that I changed. I refused to die.

I thought someone would find me, rescue me, but no. No one came; no one saved me from my hell. I was alone to live with my pain. My mind and soul were twisted; my spirit became one of evil and darkness, no longer joy and light. I lost my lovely, long dark hair. You could never see it beneath the helmet anyway.

We were based somewhere in Southern Mirkwood. Near Dol Goldur. I do not know how many years I had been there, but it seemed an eternity. It wasn't fair. I wanted to go home, I wanted to live again, but these creatures had taken that away from me. I could never return home like this. I would be shot on sight.

Throughout all this, my heart was the only part of me that stayed truly Elven. I was holding onto what I had once been. I would never be completely Orc. I could not fall that far. I would not let my heart be taken as well.

So my years went on. I was let out of my cell when my captors realised what had happened to me. I was trained as an Orc, how to fight, how to kill in cold blood. I could kill a man, a human man, but never an Elf or animal. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. And the funny thing was; the Orcs seemed to understand. Whenever we went out in our packs, others would go and hunt, leaving me to guard the camp. It was easy to do that. I would pretend I was an Elf once again, clinging onto the few precious memories my heart had guarded. It was an Elven camp I was protecting, and if anyone disturbed it, I would attack. I just prayed that no Elves would ever find us, for I would not kill them, and then the Orcs would beat me for being ignorant.

Then one day, a message arrived that would change my entire life. It came from Isengard, the Tower of Orthanc where the White Wizard dwelt. What would he want with a load of mindless Orcs from South Mirkwood?

Then it was all told to me one evening form a fellow Orc. He had turned bad. He had been corrupted by the Ring of Power, which had been found again. His mind no longer thought of nature and the good things in life. He wished to destroy the World of Men, have power, greater than he had ever held before. And he wanted our help.

I was shocked to say the least. A part of me was horrified at all that was going on, but the dark side of me wanted to help, wanted to join in shedding the blood of the innocent human lives. "They will all die one day anyway because of their mortality," I thought to myself. "Why not help them along the way?"

And so we set of from our home towards the South West, heading constantly to our new leader, Saruman the White, greatest wizard in all of Middle-Earth.

Good start? I'd already shown you most of it. Please review, it would be very nice. I'm just going to ignore flames/flamers. Honestly, flaming me is just a waste of time. I'll use them to light the fire in the lounge once winter comes.

Shall I put chapter 2 up? Hmm, I wonder……