DarkEcoOttsel: This is a one shot that I wrote a while ago. It has nothing to do with my other series, but please read it anyway. It's supposed to be humor, but I'm not sure it's all that funny. Please review when you're done!!
Summary: Stumbling upon a baby hyena, Shenzi, Banzai and Ed try to take care of it for a reward that they hope they'll get. But sometimes rewards aren't something that can be seen. Humor/Drama. Rated PG for mild language.
Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed's Babysitting Adventure
"Oh, man, it just never gets old, does it?" Banzai laughed as they walked away from the meerkat colony.
"The classics never do, honey," Shenzi snickered as all three of them burst into hysterical laughter.
Their laughter ended when Shenzi tripped over something. She cursed and turned to see what she had tripped over. She and the others gasped as they stared at a little hyena pup.
"What the?" Shenzi stood up and looked at the pup, who wagged its tail in response.
"What is it?" Banzai asked, staring wide eyed at the pup.
"It's a baby hyena, you idiot," Shenzi replied. "What's it doing all the way out here?"
"Maybe it's lost," Banzai suggested.
Ed grunted in agreement.
"Oh well," Shenzi turned and started walking away. She stopped when she realized Banzai and Ed weren't following.
"What are you knuckleheads waiting for?" she barked.
"You're not just gonna leave the little guy out here, are ya?" Banzai asked.
"How do you know it's a guy?" Shenzi asked, changing the subject.
"I dunno and there's no way I'm getting closer to find out," Banzai stated.
"Hey, there ain't no way I'm looking up this brat's butt to see if it's a boy or not," Shenzi growled as she glared at the pup, who blinked its large eyes at her.
Ed let out a low whine before he hid behind Shenzi.
"Bunch of wimps," Shenzi muttered. "Well, we can't go on calling it 'it' forever." She sighed before she lifted the pup up with her paws. A thin stream of yellow liquid greeted her by hitting her in the face.
Shenzi growled and a look similar to the one she gave in response to Timon and Pumbaa's joke in TKL 1 ½ crossed her face.
"It's a boy."
Thus began Banzai, Shenzi, and Ed's babysitting adventure!
As the trio plus one moved through the Pride Lands, the pup began to sniffle and whimper.
"Now, what's its problem?!" Shenzi snapped irritably. "At least we know he doesn't have to make a tinkle!! I'll be smelling like piss for the rest of my life!"
"Make it stop!" Banzai yelled over the cries of the hyena pup.
Ed let out a loud whine and put his paws over his ears.
"What do you want me to do?!" Shenzi shouted at him. "I don't have any experience in taking care of a baby! Besides you two, I mean!"
"You're a female! Your instincts will kick in!" Banzai shouted back.
Shenzi stared at the pup before blurting, "I bet he's hungry."
"So, then let's go kill something."
"Oh, and what do you plan to kill?" Shenzi looked out into the distance. "There's nothing here! We should just leave the pup!"
"And miss this opportunity?" Banzai asked.
"We might get a reward if we bring him back to his mom," Banzai explained as Shenzi's eyes lit up.
"Great idea!" Shenzi exclaimed. "So what are we gonna do with the runt in the mean time?"
"There's nothing here to eat. Man, we should've dragged that old meerkat out here instead of letting him go!" Shenzi grumbled.
"Ssh...you hear that?" Banzai asked suddenly, his ear perking up.
Shenzi listened and shrugged. "I don't hear anyth—"
Suddenly the three hyenas gasped and exclaimed, "Where's the pup?!"
They began looking around in a panic, but relaxed as they saw the pup walking over towards a rock.
"Well, at least he's okay," Banzai sighed as they began to walk slowly towards the pup, who proceeded to turn over the rock...to reveal a poisonous snake.
"Oh, cripes!" Shenzi yelped as she ran and pushed the pup behind her. Banzai and Ed ran up and began to bark at the snake, who hissed angrily.
"Idiot," Shenzi growled at the pup, who shrank back behind her leg with a whine. Shenzi face softened.
"Shenzi, the snake's getting mad!" Banzai said, backing up.
"Move!" Shenzi told the pup, but he was too scared. Shenzi looked at Banzai for help. "He won't move!"
"Pick him up!" Banzai suggested.
"With my mouth?"
Shenzi used her mouth to hastily grab the pup by the scruff. They left the snake alone and it left them alone, going back under the rock.
"That was close," Banzai muttered. He glanced at Shenzi and couldn't help but grin. Shenzi saw him grinning.
"What?" she asked, her voice muffled by the pup.
"You look like a mom," Banzai blurted. "I mean, when you carry the runt like that."
Shenzi was about to say something more when the pup began to struggle. She set him down and looked out into the distance. Her eyes widened when she saw a large heard of zebra grazing not too far off.
"Hey, look! Food!"
Shenzi stared at the pup, which stared back at her, blinking his large eyes.
"How did I ever wind up looking after you while Banzai and Ed go have fun killing some zebras?" Shenzi muttered, visibly ticked off. "Why am I telling you this?! You can't even talk!"
The pup grinned and let out a tiny laugh. He stood up on his hind legs, trying to walk but he ended up falling onto Shenzi's leg. Shenzi felt her heart melt a little.
"Hey!" Shenzi said suddenly, snapping out of it. "If you're trying to melt my cold heart, it ain't gonna work!" Her shouts only made the pup laugh more. "Stop laughing, you little hairball!"
The pup continued to laugh until Banzai and Ed came back, dragging a dead zebra.
"Finally! Jeez, the little twerp wouldn't stop laughing!" Shenzi snapped.
"What did ya do to make him laugh?" Banzai asked.
"He thinks my problems are funny."
The trio looked down at the pup, who was staring at the zebra. The pup looked up at them, looking like he wanted to cry.
"What? What's its beef now?" Banzai asked.
"Maybe he can't chew the bones," Shenzi said.
"He can eat around 'em."
"Maybe he needs us to chew it for him."
"I thought that was for birds."
"Well, I don't know everything! You have instincts, too, Banzai."
"Yeah, but they're different from yours!" Banzai objected. "When you have the runt, you look like a mom—"
"News flash, Banzai: I ain't one!" Shenzi shouted, her anger sparking.
The two stopped arguing when the pup came over and sat between them. He stared up at the two of them, like he was telling them to stop fighting.
"Look, right now we should get the hairball fed so we can get him back to his ma and get our stupid reward," Shenzi said with a sigh. She lowered her head down to the pup's level and said, "Listen up, tinklestein. You need to eat, all right? Do you understand?" She said that slowly.
The pup blinked at her and smiled.
"Okay...eat the zebra."
The pup blinked again and continued to smile.
"Eat the zebra!" Shenzi was getting mad.
"Give me the runt!" Banzai turned the pup towards him. He ripped of a chunk of meat and chewed it in front of the pup. He swallowed and said, "See? It's good. You should eat some, too."
The pup looked at the zebra carcass and then back at Banzai. He tried to grab another chunk from Banzai's paw but he held it up high.
"Uh uh," Banzai stuck his nose up into the air. "This is mine. Get your own!"
The pup looked mad. He went over to the zebra and tore off a chunk for himself. He ate it hastily.
"Hey! You made him eat!" Shenzi smiled as she watched the pup eat some more.
"Finally," Banzai sighed and smiled.
After the pup had eaten, they continued back towards the Outlands. It was getting dark and soon the lionesses would be patrolling the Pride Lands.
"We need to crash somewhere," Shenzi stated as they continued to walk. She looked down at the pup, who was looking very tired as he continued to walk.
"Where could we go?" Banzai asked, looking around.
Shenzi looked around and saw a couple of bushes near a small creek. "How about there?"
The trio walked over to the bushes and saw that it could be perfect. There was enough room for all of them to fit inside and yet no one could see them inside. It was the perfect hiding spot.
"Alright," Banzai said, entering the bush and looking around. "We'll stay here until morning. Then we gotta make a mad dash for the Outlands."
"Yeah," Shenzi said, sitting down by the entrance. She watched as the pup walked over to her and lied down beside her, curling up into a tiny ball. Shenzi's first instinct was to get up and move, but something inside her kept her down.
"You know, I think he likes you, Shenzi," Banzai said from across the bush. He smiled and said, "I bet he misses his mom. That's why he's cuddling up to you."
Shenzi looked down at the pup, who was sound asleep. She sighed and muttered, "Don't expect me to miss the little runt after we return him. He's been a handful."
"I'll say," Banzai yawned. "I'm goin' to sleep. 'Night."
"G'night," Shenzi muttered staring up past the leaves and at the dark night sky.
The next day, Shenzi opened her eyes. She tiredly looked around and saw Banzai asleep in one corner. Ed was snoring loudly in another. She looked down where the pup was sleeping. Seeing an empty spot and thinking nothing of it because she was half-asleep, she closed her eyes again. Then they shot open and her head shot up.
"Oh shoot!" she muttered, looking around worriedly and not finding the pup. Panicking, she shouted loudly, "Where's the runt?!"
Banzai and Ed woke up with a start.
"He's gone?!" Banzai cried, standing up and looking around.
The trio ran outside to find it beginning to rain hard. They ignored it and looked in the small creek nearby. The pup was visible splashing around in the water and having a good time.
The trio sighed loudly and sat down.
"Jeez, what a little troublemaker," Banzai let out a breath.
"At least he's okay," Shenzi muttered. Her eyes widened as a large wall of water came rushing down from upstream and collided with the pup. He was washed quickly downstream, giggling the whole way.
The trio just stood there in shock. Then they screamed in horror as the pup disappeared around a bend. Without really thinking, they jumped into the swelling creek and swam after the pup.
"Slow down, hairball!" Shenzi shouted after him. Her eyes widened as they swam around the bend to find themselves getting pulled towards large rapids with sharp rocks.
"Oh NOOO!" Banzai cried as all three of them tumbled down a tiny waterfall. They resurfaced, continuing to get pulled downstream by the current.
"Ow, ow, OW!" Shenzi yelped as she hit three rocks in a row. "We better get one hell of a reward for this!!"
"AAHHH!" all three hyenas shouted as they zoomed towards a huge bolder sticking out of the middle of the raging river. Grabbing onto each other in horror, they waited for their doom. Their eyes widened as the rock began moving up...actually, they were falling down. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!"
They fell down a larger waterfall, creating a huge splash. They broke the surface, gasping for air. They were through the harsh part of the ride.
Shenzi reached shore first, pulling herself from the cold water. Banzai and Ed followed, looking very miserable. They all looked like...well, wet hyenas.
Shenzi's bangs were matted down over her eyes and she didn't bother to move them. She panted, "I am never doing that again."
"Likewise," Banzai muttered, looking pretty traumatized.
Ed, who looked pretty much the same as usual, began pointing and whining at something. All three hyenas looked down and saw the pup walking towards them, a large smile on his face. He was wet as well.
"Well, I hope YOU had fun!" Shenzi snapped, shaking the water from her fur. Her bangs were extremely poofy-looking, almost afro like. She quickly smoothed them down.
The pup began laughing.
Banzai sighed in exasperation as he shook the water from his fur as well, only to have it get soaked again due to the rain. "Look, let's just get home before anyone spots us."
They quickly began moving across the Pride Lands. No one was talking, which was boring.
Banzai, fed up with the silence, blurted suddenly, "I wonder what kind of reward we might get."
"Who knows, but it better be good," Shenzi stated and Ed nodded, agreeing with her. She gave the pup a small shove with her paw and she said, "He's been such a handful. I can't believe I'm saying this, but...it makes you wanna respect your parents."
"Yeah," Banzai said slowly, staring at the pup, who stared back at him with his huge eyes. "Weird."
Ed nodded his head rapidly.
Suddenly a large clap of thunder rang out and all four hyenas winced. The pup yiped in horror and ran under Shenzi, grabbing onto her leg.
Shenzi looked down at pup. He looked very pitiful, with the small pools of tears in the corner of his eyes and the scared expression.
"It's just thunder," Shenzi stated bluntly. "C'mon, keep walking."
The pup stared up at her, blinking his large eyes. He shakily came out from under her only to scramble back under as a large flash of lightning streaked across the sky, followed by a loud boom of thunder.
"Jeez, he's really freaked," Banzai stated, looking at the pup.
Shenzi looked up at the distance and noticed a large cloud of dust heading towards them. "Hey, what's that?"
All four hyenas stared at the dust cloud as it continued to grow closer. Their jaws dropped when they realized that it was a large herd of wildebeest heading straight for them.
"Oh, this day just keeps getting better and better," Shenzi said quietly, continuing to stare at the herd.
"RUN!" Banzai shouted as the four hyenas took off in the other direction.
Shenzi hastily grabbed the pup by the scruff since he was beginning to fall behind. She continued to run with Banzai and Ed, but all of them were no match for the wildebeest, who had been spooked by the lightning and thunder.
"There's some rocks up ahead!" Banzai pointed out as they began to run like heck towards them, the wildebeest right behind them.
Banzai and Ed leaped onto the cluster of boulders and turned to help Shenzi up. Once they were out of the way of the stampeding wildebeest, Shenzi sat the pup down, who looked extremely freaked out.
"Is he gonna be okay?" Banzai asked as he walked up to Shenzi.
"I dunno," Shenzi said quietly, staring at the pup. The pup turned to her, tears flowing down his face. Shenzi and Banzai were taken aback as the pup latched onto Shenzi's front leg and began to cry into it.
"What's with the sudden emotional outburst?" Shenzi murmured.
Banzai shrugged. "He seems to think that you give him comfort."
"Huh?" Shenzi asked, looking at Banzai.
"He really likes you, Shenzi," Banzai continued. He smiled a little and said, "When we find his mom, he might have trouble leaving you."
Shenzi blinked and looked back at the pup, who was still sobbing quietly. "Maybe...."
The stampede finally subsided and the hyenas began to walk back towards the Outlands, which weren't that far off. The pup walked beside Shenzi the whole time. The trio noticed that, but didn't say anything.
Finally, they entered the elephant graveyard. After speaking with several hyenas and reassuring them that they found the pup, a male stepped up.
"You found Kalamu," the male said with a smile. "He's my son. I'm so glad you found him!" The pup, Kalamu, ran up to his father and hugged his leg. After nuzzling his son, he looked back up at Banzai, Shenzi and Ed. "He had a bit of a fright and ran off into the Pride Lands."
"What scared him?" Banzai asked.
The father gave them a sad smile and said quietly, "His mother was killed in a stampede on a stormy night a few days ago."
The trio was stunned at that. That explains why he was latching onto Shenzi all the time and was scared to death of the storm and stampede. He missed his mother.
"I'm sorry if he caused any trouble," the father continued, perking up a little.
"O-oh no, he was a little angel," Shenzi said, snapping out of her shocked state.
"Yeah, there was no trouble at all," Banzai said, agreeing with Shenzi. He elbowed Ed hard and the cross-eyed hyena nodded rapidly.
"Thanks again," the father said. "I wish I could give you something in return—"
"Don't sweat it," Shenzi cut in and smiled.
"Yeah, you don't have to give us anything," Banzai smiled as well.
The father smiled and turned with his son to walk away, when the pup stopped and looked back at the trio.
"Bye bye, Shenni, Banni, Ed," the pup said in his cute baby voice.
The trio's jaws dropped in shock as they watched the pup and his father walk away. When they had fully disappeared, Shenzi blinked and shut her jaw with a snap.
"Oh, NOW he talks," she sighed as she turned with her friends.
"That was big shock," Banzai said, also snapping out of his trance. He and Ed turned with Shenzi and began to walk away. "That explains why he liked you so much."
"Yeah," Shenzi muttered and couldn't help but smile. Then she frowned. "Crap! We babysat the brat for nothing!"
"Aw, c'mon, you had to of gained something out of all this," Banzai grinned at her and Ed began to snicker.
"Not me! YOU were the one who said we'd get a reward outta this and we didn't!" Shenzi snapped at him.
"Admit it, you're gonna miss the little guy," Banzai smirked.
"ME?! Miss the crying, and getting peed on, and getting swept down raging rivers?! Oh, I don't think so!"
"You're gonna miss him," Banzai taunted her.
"That may be true I'll admit, but next time we find a lost pup and go through all sorts of dangerous stuff, we BETTER get a reward for it!"
"Yeah! We should ask for money."
"Money? What in God's name are we gonna spend it on?"
"Alright, well, how about some meat?"
"That sound good. Real good."
"I'm getting hungry."
"Yeah, me too. Let's go find some breakfast."
Ed began laughing hysterically as the trio headed for the Pride Lands, the sky beginning to clear and the rain stopping. The trio continued on with their normal lives, though they never forgot about Kalamu. They shared a special place in their hearts for him, right next to wildebeest kielbasa.
DarkEcoOttsel: What didja think? Too long? Not enough humor? Please review! No flames, please!