I'm back!!! And I still own nothing!!! This is my first songfic, and why I am doing this is beyond me... Oh and I may not update much (ha, as if I updated a lot...) because school starts on the first for me, which sucks cheese... Enough ranting lets get on with the show. The song is Cledus T. Judd's "Goodbye squirrel", which goes to the tune of the Dixie Chicks "Goodbye Earl". umm... yea.
Cyclonus looked at Demolisher who looked back at him. They looked at the minicon panel that was just laying there. Neither of them moved, because once they did, the Autobots would charge in, beat them, get the minicon and leave. It always went that way.
Me 'n Harold Muphurt(sp?) were outdoors men
set in our backwoods ways
Both members of the huntin' club
both active in the NRA
The other Decpticons were around here too, just farther off. The plan was to wait for the Autobots, shoot them from behind, grab the minicon and leave. It had taken them along time to figure out where to hide.
We scouted a location where we had no doubt
We'd kill the biggest buck in the world
Harold waited in his tree stand, but all he seen was a squirrel
Cyclonus watched the little Earth creature called a squirrel as it scurried around, smelling the minicon panel. Cyclonus aimed at the squirrel, but common sense (A.K.A. Demolisher) told him not to.
"But this is sooo boring" Cyclonus said, "I need to shoot something!"
"You'll give away our position" Demolisher argued, "and you might hit the panel"
"My aim isn't that bad." Demolisher opened his mouth to argue, but stopped as soon as he heard something. It was just a squirrel...
Dang near two weeks since the season started, and neither one of us was amused
We had on Realtree camo, high powered ammo, but no big game to shoot
"We have been here for fourteen slagging Earth days."Cyclonus whined
"Hold your position." Demolisher told him.
"But I'm tired of holding my position"
Both of them went really quiet as Hot Shot wandered into the area. Cyclonus smiled. This was the easy shot. The other Decepticons moved in as Cyclonus took aim...
Then we finally saw a deer as big as a horse, Harold had him in his crosshairs
But that squirrel jumped of a branch of a bush and landed in Harold's hair
Demolisher watched as the squirrel jumped out of a tree and began attacking Cyclonus's optic.
"Can this get any worse..." he muttered. And of course, it did.
Cyclonus, who was flailing wildly with a squirrel on his optic, tripped and accidentally fired his gun, which startled the fatigued Starscream. Starscream in turn fired, nearly hitting everyone's least favorite squidhead, who shot back at Starscream, but missed and hit a tree. The tree fell and hit Megatron on the head, getting stuck on his horn-type things. The now fuming Megatron toppled over and the tree knocked over Cyclonus, Starscream and Thrust.
Harold fell of the stand, on his head he landed, like a wimp he laid there and cried
'Till I climbed on down, picked him up off the ground, and it didn't take us long to decide
That squirrel had to die
Demolisher rushed over and helped everyone up. Everyone was thinking the same thing. The squirrel was going to pay.
with black-eyed peas
you're gonna taste good to me, squirrel
It's your meat
comin' out of that tree, squirrel
hey guess what
you've eaten your last nut, squirrel
" Are you sure this is a good idea?" asked Demolisher.
"When have ever been wrong." replied Cyclonus.
"Well there was that one time-"
"I didn't mean for you to answer that question."
They were carrying high powered mini-bombs that Wheeljack had made. In silence they set the bombs up on the tree.
"And now we wait." said Cyclonus
Me 'n Harold went down to the surplus store, bought a keg of dynamite
two baseball bats and a case of M-80's, we were in for one heck of a fight
Cyclonus hit the button to ignite the bombs.
When your huntin' with dumb and dumber
something'ssurely bound to go wrong
And when Harold lit that real short fuse, I knew it wouldn't be long
And it did go wrong...
The bombs blew, clearing out the area. The explosion caused Cyclonus and Demolisher to loose most of their limbs. It had also knocked a tree over getting stuck in Megatron's horns, catching Starscream's wing, and Thrust's head got tangled in the branches.
When the dynamite blew, Harold's foot did too, and fingers began to fly
We were barely alive when the game warden 'rived, and much to our surprise
That squirrel didn't die
Of course, Optimus Prime arrived, minicon in hand and the squirrel on his shoulder. Demolisher stared in disbelief.
"It didn't die.." he said in awe.
"Slag it!" Shouted Megatron.
"I hate squirrels." stated Cyclonus.
"I hate trees." said Starscream, who was prying his wing from the tree.
All of the Decepticons sighed. They had lost. Again.
Just one more shot
You'll be in my crock pot, squirrel
You'll make a lunch
You overgrown chipmunk, squirrel
I'll skin your hide
And make a hat in its pride, squirrel
Decepticon fans, especially the Cyclonus and Demolisher fangirls, please don't maul me...
G1 Rumble: [raises optic] okay...
Kara: we must go... to the bunker! [runs off]
Minian the chao: Da na na na na na na na na fatman!!! [ follows Kara]
Me: eh, works for me [follows]
Rumble: uh... Review please?