A Trial Separation by Jasmine Starlight
A/N: It has been a long time hasn't it? Gomen ne. On with the show.
"So, Remus, who's this woman Dad's been seeing?" asked James tensely.
"I dunno, she is kind of slutty, though."
"What else do you know?" he asked again.
"You're not even sure?" asked Lily skeptically.
"Hey, she could be hiding a weave for all we know." said Remus defensively.
"Whatever. How are we supposed to get Mum and Dad back together? They barely talk to each other as it is." said James.
"Don't worry about it. Romie and Setsuko are working on it."
Lupin Lodge, Den
"This is the best we got?" Setsuko asked.
"For now." replied Romulus tersely.
"They're not going to like this."
"Well, let's go bear some bad news, shall we?"
Lupin Lodge, Basement
Sirius stared at his best friend's sister and his brother suspiciously. They were hiding something.
Romulus fidgeted, Setsuko kicked him in the shin, "What?"
"Tell them." she muttered angrily.
"Why do I have to tell them?" he argued in a hushed voice.
"Because, if you don't I'll your brother about the time when you lost that bet and-" Romulus cut her off by putting a hand over her mouth.
"Alright I'll tell them." he whispered, taking his hand away just as Setsuko was about to bite him.
"So, what's the plan?" asked Severus.
"Well, the plan is, one of us has to fake a disease and or injury." he said quickly.
"That's the best you came up with?" asked Sirius.
"I'm sorry did you want to contribute?" asked Romulus sarcastically.
"Ouch." said Lily.
"So, who's faking sick?" asked Severus.
Setsuko and Romulus looked at each other, then at Lily, Sirius, Severus, and James respectively.
It was Setsuko who took the plunge, "All of us."
"Why?" asked James.
"Because, then Dad will have to send some of us to Mum, then we can work on Mum and Dad at the same time." said Setsuko.
"We should let Mum and Dad in on this." said Lily speculatively.
"How are we going to pull that off?" asked Sirius.
"Your idea, your plan." said Romulus.
Lily glared, "What? Did you think that after this brilliant scheme we would have any other great ideas?" he said sneeringly.
Remus sighed, "The best way would be to ask them directly."
"We should probably work on them separately." said Severus thoughtfully.
"So, who gets who?" asked James.
"Well, Lily and I should probably wear down Uncle Remus. So, you guys get Auntie Arabella." said Setsuko.
"Nuh-uh. We get Dad and you get Mum." said Sirius forcefully.
"No way, can you imagine how that conversation would go? He'll think you're off your rocker." said Lily.
"She has a point there." said Romulus.
"Shut up." Sirius told him.
"Whatever, let's get to work." said Severus in a business like manner.
"Sure, why not?" said James.
Lupin Lodge, Kitchen
The boys, oddly enough had found Arabella in the kitchen, baking. Romulus blinked, that was new.
Arabella didn't take notice of the boys entrance, if she did she showed no sign of it.
"Hi, Mum." said Sirius cheerfully.
"Hi, Sirius." said Arabella distractedly.
Retreating back to the crowd huddled at the entrance of the kitchen he whispered, "What now?" There was a collective shrug before Remus was shoved forward.
"Hullo, Remus, hand me that baking sheet will you?" said Arabella distractedly.
Handing her the aforementioned sheet, Remus wondered how one would go about asking this.
"Is there something you wanted, dear?" asked Arabella absently, searching for her spatula, "Aha! Got you, you little bugger!"
"Um, actually, I wanted to ask what you know about Dad's girlfriend?" he said nervously.
"Girlfriend? Oh, that woman he's been seeing, they're not that serious. Why do you ask?"
"Um, Sev knows, tell her Sev." said Remus pulling Severus forward.
Severus, being put on the spotlight, eloquently said. "Guh."
"Mmm. That's great Sev." she replied distractedly.
"How do expect to get anywhere with that?" hissed Remus.
"How should I know? You're the one with the plans." he hissed back.
"You still haven't wowed me with why you need me." pointed out Arabella helpfully.
"Right." said Remus.
Out of nowhere James began chirping to fill the awkward silence. "Chirp. Chirp. Chirp."
He was the object of many "What the fuck is wrong with you!" glances.
Romulus just sighed, and said resignedly, as he stepped forward, "We have all come to the brilliant conclusion that the trial separation between our dear aunt and uncle is almost over and wish to assist them in getting them back together." proving that he did have some of Arabella's genes thank-you-very-much.
Arabella blinked, "You're serious about this?"
"No, I'm Sirius." said Sirius half-heartedly.
"That joke wasn't funny the first five hundred million times I heard it and it's not funny now." said Arabella.
"Whatever. That's great, are you going to help or not?" asked Sirius impatiently.
"How do you know that they even want to get back together?" she asked decisively.
"How do you not know they want to get back together?" countered Romulus.
"Touché." remarked Arabella lightly.
"You still haven't answered our question, Auntie." said Remus gravely.
"Alright, I'm in, but only if you have proof that they want to get back together." she said putting a hand up.
"Like a tape or something?" asked Sirius quizzically.
"Whatever you can get." she said. "Now, have you told Remus about this yet?"
Lupin Lodge, Den
Remus hummed lightly to himself as he skimmed over the Prophet, his reverie was interrupted by the scuffling at the door.
Without looking up he knew who it was, "What did you need Lily?" he asked.
"What makes you think that I need something, Dad?" asked Lily nervously.
"Hmmm, because you're just standing there."There was a briefly whispered argument
"He's your dad!"
"This is your family issue!"
"You agreed to help!"
"You agreed to fix me up!"
"What's your point!"
Lily was dragged forward by Setsuko and who then jerked back and exited the room.
Remus was hard pressed to ignore that exchange, but unfortunately Lily started a tenuous conversation that required his attention.
"So, Dad, how are things?"
"Like what things?" he responded wearily.
"You know. Things." replied she evasively.
"Like what?" asked Remus suspiciously.
"Things!" exclaimed Lily.
"Is this a trick to get me to take you to Hot Topic again?" asked Remus distrustfully.
"Didn't work on Mum." She muttered under her breath.
"What was that?" asked Remus sharply.
"Nothing," she said innocently, "Do you still not know what I am talking about?" she asked wearily.
"Yes." replied Remus irritatedly.
"IwantedtoknowhowUncleSiriusandAuntSetsunaaredoing." She said quickly.
"Huh?" asked Remus.
"Setsuko, help me out here." bellowed Lily.
There was no reply, and Lily was left standing in her father's study, waiting for the awkward silence to pass.
Here you are Puu, this is a good week for updating.