Cordy

A/N: Okay here's another song fic about someone in Sarai's life. This time its Cordy and about how Sarai feels about her, about their relationship and the Cordy and Connor relationship (because remember, he used to exist. See the last few chapters of 'It's a Girl' if you need a refreshment on that topic.) The song is 'Substitute' by The Who. This chapter is in the same format as all the others are.

Sarai entered Angel's office in search of finding him so she could annoy him. When she got there she saw her father was no where to be seen and Spike was passed out in one of his chairs holding an almost empty bottle of Jack Daniels. Something told Sarai that the bottle was only recently emptied. She also heard a song coming from the stereo in Angels office. A song that made her think about Cordelia.

You think we look pretty good together You think my shoes are made of leather But I'm a substitute for another guy I look pretty tall but my heels are high The simple things you see are all complicated I look pretty young, but I'm just back-dated, yeah

Cordelia thinks she's my mother, she tries to act like she is, she tells me what do like I have to listen to her. She treats me like I am a child, her child. But I am not. I am a mother and its not her. Not that I really even 'need' a mother. I have daddy, that's enough.

Substitute your lies for fact I can see right through your plastic mac I look all white, but my dad was black My fine looking suit is really made out of sack

I don't even thinks she really likes me. Well ok, I know she likes me, as a friend or maybe a niece. But if she could pick out what her ideal daughter would be like; it wouldn't be me, because I throw fits, I curse, I get pissed off like 4 times a day, I have temper like my mother, like my dad... like Angelus(sort've ). And I don't mean that in a bad way. Not that I really give a shit, I am just saying half her little 'motherly' act is just a front to dad. And it works. She knows that if dad ever thought for a second that Cordy wasn't the absolute perfect choice for a stepmother she'd be gone. I could make that happen too. All I'd have to do is tell him that I want him to break up with her and he would. But I would never ever, ever do that because he's happy with her. And I want him to be happy. He deserves it.

I was born with a plastic spoon in my mouth The north side of my town faced east, and the east was facing south And now you dare to look me in the eye Those crocodile tears are what you cry It's a genuine problem, you won't try To work it out at all you just pass it by, pass it by

I know she feels sorry for me, because of my childhood or lack of really. I can see it her eyes, she pities me. I don't want her pity, and I sure as hell don't need it. I'm not her. I saw the way she let people feel sorry for her after she woke up from her coma, and yeah that was a traumatic thing she went through but sorry, a part of me feels she deserved it. Huh, I can hear Dawn now if she heard what I was thinking 'Bitter Much?' she'd ask. And ya know what I think I'd say yes. Yes I am bitter. She hurt daddy last year. I don't know when Jasmine officially took over her body but something tells me it was after Cordy nailed the son of her now boyfriend. I know no one else remembers that, but I wonder if she does. I have this strange feeling she does and I think she even knows that I know she does. I remember that night. I too was standing near where dad was, he didn't know that at the time cause I was hiding, but I saw it. I saw the pain in his eyes as he watched the two of them. How could someone who claims to love a man have sex with his son? And I am not just talking about the ick factor here. But enough about that. That's in the past. I try not to think of that much.

Substitute me for him Substitute my coke for gin Substitute you for my mum At least I'll get my washing done

She can date my father for a long as she'd like, hell she can even marry him and move in one day - although I don't think Phantom Dennis would like that, he likes living with her and was sad when she was in a coma. Phantom Dennis is way cool....- just as long as she knows that no matter how close they are, when it all comes down to it he's MINE. Not hers, not my moms, not Wolfram and Harts, for damn sure not Buffy's, and not the world that he protects, he's my daddy as in MINE. She's not my mother, she never was and never will be. I have a mother and its not her. When my mother isn't here Cordy's just a substitute.

A/N: Ok how was that? I swear one day I'm gonna do the one about how Angel feels about Sarai, just as soon as the writers block on it goes away. However reviewing this might help with the block.