Revenge Is Best Served In Large Helpings

Kurt let out a sigh. Avoiding the others for the past few weeks had saved him from physical retribution…

But now he had to deal with the mental payback. Three T-shirts, two bumper stickers, and a coffee mug – all with insults printed on them.

A plain white T-shirt read, 'I'm not bad, I just prank that way,' in black lettering.

Kurt snorted. That was somewhat funny, but not very original.

'I'm not a clown, but I pretend to be one in the circus,' graced a blue T-shirt in yellow letters – that had one Kitty written all over it. Literally, since he knew he'd mentioned thinking the slogan was funny to her a month or so previously. Kurt grinned devilishly. He'd have to find a way to thank her…

A black T-shirt with thick white letters proclaimed, 'Chaos, panic, disorder…my work here is done.'

Kurt frowned. "I'm not zat bad," he stated to his empty room.

The room did not deign to reply.

The first bumper sticker read: It's not easy being blue and fuzzy.

Kurt snickered. The letters were even blue and fuzzy-looking. That was definitely Todd's work – he remembered how incensed the amphibious mutant was over the Kermit the Frog toy he'd received with that T-shirt.

One of his better pranks yet – and by getting Bobby's help, no one was the wiser to the true instigator.

The second bumper sticker said, 'What if the hokey-pokey is really what's it's all about?'

Kurt snorted. Funny, but it wasn't really specific to him.

His yellow slitted eyes widened. Unless… "Evan did vonce say zat my gymnastics routine looks like de hokey-pokey." Growling, Kurt crushed the slip of sticky-backed paper in one tri-dactyl hand. He then threw the balled up insult into his trashcan, making a two-point shot off the rim.

The capper was the coffee mug with – This is my 'I'm not awake yet, so leave me the fuck alone!' face – emblazoned across it in bright red letters.

He actually kind of liked that one. Far from his original fears, aside from Evan's bumper sticker, none of his 'insults' had actually been all that insulting.

A slow smirk spread across Kurt's face. "But zat doesn't mean I can't still get zem back, no?" He chuckled under his breath, and began to plot, determined to outdo himself this time.