Disclaimer: I don't own "Sex and the City".

"My last post"

By Chiisana Anisa

My dear readers,

this is my last post for the time being. This time, I won't be only discussing all the problems and the reasons of relationships, such as I did through all this years talking to you. No, just for once I'll tell my story about finding a love so great I found it was absolutely wonderful to love not only your better half, but yourself in the process too.

One day walking down the streets of my very old boyfriend, the city of New York, I was just wondering how could people so easily fall in love regardless that they know there is a risk of being heart-broken at the end of it all?

Of course if end ever comes to be. We all search something through our lives, something meaningful that will give us the will to get up in a new day and live once more. We all have little candles attached to our wrists so even when we find ourselves on the darkest times there is this little spark of flame that will guide us through.

That flame could be everything - everything that comes to our minds. For someone it's a braid new shiny day, for someone it's the smell of rain, for someone it's love. But it's always something, from the smallest things to those big ones we are sometimes afraid to talk about.

This past seven years of my life have been wrapped up in my search for real, deep, meaningful, can't live without each other - love. At the point where I felt as the loneliest person on the world, where all my hopes were crushed on the floor, broken just like my precious necklace from The Russian guy, when my life didn't have any particular sense of meaning, that little flame bursted back into my life.

Who would've guessed that a man who brought nothing but trouble in this seven years of my life would be that spark to remind me, love is the greatest thing, the biggest reason to get on living? Well, I sure for one, haven't. Because my face was covered in tears when I saw him and I only managed to squeeze out one quiet little "Hey".

But he was there. Like my knight in shining armor, to get all pissed about, to get even for making me miserable, and to be there to remind me how easy it is to laugh. I still hold that memory very dear to my heart. The man known to you as "The Big" is that knight.

So, after warning you about all the hardships, all the tricks, problems, delusions and traps of the relationships I think it's finally time I tell you one very positive thing about them. I don't recall if I ever mentioned that relationships need a lot of work to be a success, that they have to be taken care of just like one would take care of a garden he has back door.

Love is the most positive thing in a relationship that can exist. And two hearts that adore each other. At the beginning I was just a little girl who believed in happily ever after. The Big was a knight in a shining armor, and a bad guy all the same. So now looking back, I found nothing has changed. Except the fact that I got my happily ever after and although I love my bad guy, he loves me back more as a knight. After all he has a heart too.

So in the end, I would like to say this. Human heart needs to be taken care of... not only after breaking. No. It needs constant caring throughout our lives, for where would we end up without our hearts to guide us through trials of love?


AN: Um, hello. Just saw the last episode of "Sex and the City" and thought about how it would be for Carrie to write one post about her self, in some way. If she would give some kind of a prospective what her look on real love is.

I kinda hoped that the series will end with that famous question mark on her laptop with some heartbreaking question of the meaning of love after her reconciliation with John. However that didn't happen, so I decided to. Maybe I didn't get her narrative voice quiet well, but hey, nobody's perfect, right?


Chiisana Anisa