Title: Questioning Fate
Rating: PG-13 for now anyway (for language. I am a fan of f-word)
Genre: Tries to be everything, probably ends up with bad humor and lots of drama
Pairings: Kate/John/OC triangle
Summary: Judgment Day never came. Sure, John Connor did get into a little accident and sure he did end up being locked up into a cage by Kate Brewster and yes, sure the big bad T-X showed up and ruined the day. Kate never lost his father only his (sorry for me saying) cute but dull fiancé – John and Kate were in time to stop it all from happening and killed the T-X. Ah yes, happy scenario - Kate ended up falling for John (yes the bad boy act still works) but what they don't know is that the worse is yet to come. So this is from where the story goes on, two years after they met - from year 2006.
A/N # 1: I know, I'm horribly slow with this one though I have no idea why... anyhow, soooorrryyyy!! And a big, huge thank you for all of those who come back every now and then to check if I've updated.
"The future has not been written. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves. I wish I could believe that."
I swear my heart skips a beat when Kate marches in and for a minute there's no air for me to breathe, not a single sane thought going on in my head. I stand there behind the counter, wearing practically nothing and fighting with my future husband when his current wife decides to enter the scene and I'm thinking, how is this possible? How fucked up is that? How on Earth can I ever explain this one to her, hmm?
Fucking hell, I told him. I made a mistake, a huge mistake and I'm sorry, so sorry! Well, great, shit loads of good that does, yeah.
"What's going on?" Kate demands with such strong voice that it actually gives me the chills. Boy. I always knew she was fit to be a leader, but I never really wanted to believe it. It was so much easier when I could tell myself the stories they shared about her were just exaggerated tales told by blindly adoring soldiers. Soldiers who thought John and his wife would be the second coming of a sort and save the Earth from the machines. Just like all the crazy stories I've heard about Saint Sarah, the all-knowing prophet.
My body tenses on its own and my horrified stare turns into an agitated glare.
"John?" Kate's voice cracks, but ever so softly that I don't think even Connor notices it. I did, though. Been there, done that; I'm all too familiar with that tone. Oh, all the times I've hated myself for using it. She's afraid and as much as I'd like to hate her, hate her so much, I sympathize. And maybe that's what's tearing my insides apart, clawing, ripping.
"Awkward," a voice pipes in behind Kate and only then I realize she's not alone. No, there's Sarah jr. behind her mother's back. How ironic. She's nervous, I can tell that much, and a bit scared too I guess.
"Christ," I sigh, closing my eyes and massage my temples to drive away the approaching headache. Could things be any worse?
"So?" Kate prompts in annoyance, narrowed eyes darting back and forth between me and John. Not that I could really blame her for being suspicious.
Suddenly John wakes up from his trance and moves to his wife. The edge of jealousy stabs me, stings, but I fight to keep my face straight. Don't think about it, just ignore it. This is the way it's supposed to be. Grabbing her arms, John gives her this look that I know is meant to calm her down, lullaby her into false security. With me it always works, but not with her. Damn him.
"Kate, it's all good, okay?" John pushes and she frowns in confusion, not saying anything. I guess it's called processing.
Okay, my turn. "Sarah, go to bed," I try, attempting to plaster a stern look on my face, the kind that would actually make her follow my command. Whatever happens next, it's not something I wish her to see or hear. Despite the things she's been through, she's still a child; their child and though they may not know it, I do and I need to protect her. Sarah, however, takes after her mother and only lifts her chin in defiance.
"No. I'm not gonna let you guys fight now. You can't do that," she replies with a plead in her eyes. A plead I read perfectly and understand even better.
"We're not gonna fight," Kate says calmly, glancing over her shoulder and in that moment, I can't hate her at all, cause our goal is suddenly the same. Thank God the woman has some sense in her.
Sarah's quirks an eyebrow, demanding me to say something. "No, we're not gonna fight," I back Kate up softly, not even expecting John to say anything. But this John, he seems to have this amazing ability to surprise me every other second and so when he tells her we're just gonna sort some stuff out, I can't stop the confused frown. He's so different, so different from the man I married in my past.
"Okay, fine, whatever," Sarah gives up, rolling her shoulders, "I'll go back to bed then. You promise you won't fight?"
John nods, as do Kate, and I try to smile saying, "of course, honey, we promise. Now, go."
Then, with one final, meaningful look directed mainly at me, she spins around and walks away leaving us alone.
First it's silent for a few minutes. After I can no longer hear Sarah's faint footsteps going up the stairs, I clear my throat, ready. Ready for anything.
Kate catches my meaning right away. "So?" she speaks up, pushing John's hands away and instead folding her own arms in a shielding manner, "which one of you is going to explain me just what the fuck is going on?"
"It's nothing," I say before York gets a chance to say something I'll regret for the rest of my days. Man. Terminators and killer machines, that I can handle, that I'm familiar with but this? This damn situation is like nothing I've ever been forced to deal with and I'm losing control here. I can't do this, I can't fix this.
"John's just asking a shit load of stupid questions," Robin claims in haste, blaming it all on me as expected, "and frankly I'm getting sick and tired of being accused of things, being suspected. I came here to help you but if you don't want my help you can get the fuck out of here."
Only, there's that one little thing I know for sure Kate pick up and rip apart… "It's my house," Kate points out, sarcastic smile hanging on her lips. Oh man, this is not gonna be pretty, is it?
"No," York bites back like a hound dog, "it's your father's house and I need him and his resources, not you."
"Okay," I raise my voices and throw my hands up in defense, "let's just calm down. All of us."
Alright, John, think. Think. You're supposed to be this bad-ass leader in the future, right? How do you expect to manage bunches of soldiers if you can't even settle this one, huh? Yeah, that's a good question, isn't it?
I glance at York to be sure she's not gonna open her mouth and say anything more and then, after I'm sure she really isn't going to fuck things up further, I turn my attention to Kate. She's looking down as if there actually was something to look at and it hurts, hurts so damn much to know it's me who's causing her this pain, this sorrow. I don't know what to do or say to make it better, I really don't. Maybe… maybe I was wrong. Maybe it would've been better for her if I'd simply let her go.
Then she moves, lifts her chin the way I saw Sarah do just a moment ago and looks me straight into the eye, "You know," she says, "all I want is the truth." That's my girl, that's the woman I-
"She's pregnant!" York's panic-filled voice cuts through my thoughts but the words don't seem to make any sense in my mind. Gods, could you be quiet for a minute and let me -- What did she say?
"You bitch," Kate sighs tiredly before lifting a hand to her face.
"Well," York starts, shrugging lazily, "someone had to tell him."
Of all the idiotic things to do, she just had to go and do that one. Nice, real nice. As if things weren't messy enough between us to begin with. Go ahead and bring my unborn child to the conversation. A pawn to be used in your damned game… is that all my baby is to you, hmm? Tell me.
John doesn't say anything, but then again, I don't think Robin's little confession has really sunk in fully yet. Seems to me he's sort of having this blank moment during which absolutely nothing inside his head works. We'll just wait… no point in me denying it anyway. I'm not sure whether I should be afraid of his reaction or relieved by the fact it's finally out there… despite the way it got there.
John? I feel it the moment he returns to us, I can see it in his eyes. They come back to life. "Kate?" He questions, whispering and I turn my eyes away.
"I didn't…" I start and my hands crawl down to touch my belly, "I didn't know how to tell you." Yeah, there's that… and the whole me-not-wanting-the-baby-in-the-first-place. But that was supposed to be a secret, that was supposed to stay between me and Robin! That bitch.
John's stunned, but even in the middle of it, he manages to form a question. Two, in fact. "How did she know?" He asks, "Kate, how the fuck did she know?"
I'm saved from answering, though, because that's when Robin decides to get her voice back. "Because I'm from the future, stupid," she barks, annoyed, "Because I've heard the fucking stories, okay?"
There's something about her… there's something about the way she speaks that makes me want to run and hide. I haven't know her for a long, but somehow… somehow I feel she's at her breaking point. That she's losing it. "What stories?" I ask, but carefully. I have no idea why the hell I feel as if I shouldn't upset her, but I guess it's always good to go with your instincts… even if it's me who should be the one falling apart.
"The stories of you, the great Mrs. Connor and the tales of the great Saint Sarah," she spits and suddenly she's pacing behind the counter, walking in a small circle, arms in the air, waving, talking, "Fine, I'll admit it, I'll tell you. You're the best damn thing in his life, you always will be and when he loses that… when he loses you… it's all over. It's all over and we lose. We lose!"
What the hell is she saying?
John doesn't seem to be on top of things either, because his respond is a simple: "What the fuck?"
"I didn't come here to stop the terminator," she goes on, ranting insanely, "Well, that too, but first and foremost… I came here to fix things between you two and now you've ruined it all. If John hadn't made me tell him about us I could've kept this all from you and everything would be fucking great! What did I came here for, huh? What am I doing here? I can't help you, you never let me help you. Not the future you, not the present you, I'm just never good enough, am I?"
It hits me, it hits me fast and hard and it almost stops my breathing. She's sounding as if… holy shit, woman. "Are you sleeping with my husband?"
She lets out a small, deep laughter. Disturbing kind, if you ask me. "As a matter of fact, I am," she snorts, "Well no, but I will be. Or I would've been. The fuck I know how time is supposed to work. It's crazy, it's all crazy."
That's the last thing she says before her eyes roll over and her knees give in.
A/N: Quote by John Connor (from "Terminator 3: the Rise of the Machines")
A/N: Quote by John Connor (from "Terminator 3: the Rise of the Machines")