OK, so I was flipping through , just looking at the pairings, and all of it was pretty much "StarRob, RaeBB, Cy?" A couple of times, they had "RaeRob" (shudder), or a Titan with an OC, and even once, I saw a "StarRae." I have nothing a against homosexuals, but Starfire and Raven? EEEEW.
But that's not the point. The point is, Cyborg almost never had a girlfriend. All the others were paired up, but poor Cyborg was all alone. So I thought, What about Cyborg? How does he feel about all this? And then I started writing Lonesome Stranger.
Why is it that when people start to go for couples, they never go for the big guy?
I'm just making an observation. Now that Robin and Star are officially a couple, things have just been—well, let me tell you about the last couple of days.
On Wednesday evening, Star waltzed into the kitchen, dressed in a long pink dress, and fully made up. Let me tell you what was strange about this: Star owns about 6 nice dresses, but never wears them. Never. Why buy dresses if you're not gonna wear them? Okay, so she was wearing a dress, and makeup. None of us knew Star even had any makeup. The first time we passed a makeup store, she tried to eat the mascara. (She said later that it looked exactly like a package of Glonblog —apparently the candy on Tamaran.)
Beast Boy's mouth dropped open, revealing a mouthful of half-chewed tofu dog, and Raven actually looked up from her book. Star stopped in the middle of the room and twirled around, for all of us to see. "Do I look—um—OK?"
Raven shook her head. "Oh my gosh. She's finally lost it."
I stood up. "Well, where are you going?"
"To the place of eating with Robin, of course," Starfire said calmly. I swear BB's jaw hit the floor. "What, you did not know? Robin said we are officially a pair. Two people. A match." Star looked at her watch—Star has a watch? Star can tell time? "I have to meet Robin," she said quickly, and hurried out of the room.
Beast Boy finally shut his mouth. "Okay, I am officially creeped out."
Raven turned back to her book. "You mean you never saw that coming?"
"No! You could?"
"It was kind of obvious, BB," I chimed in putting the last slices of meat on my sandwich. "I mean, you could tell: the looks they give each other, the way they squeeze each other's hands when they pass in the hallway, the long times they spend on the roof..." I sighed and bit into my sandwich. "Okay, BB, you ready to get slaughtered at Car Chase 47?" (Yes, we do have all other 46 versions.)
"Nah," he said, and it was my turn to drop my jaw. BB plopped down on the couch next to Raven. "I'm gonna make Raven laugh, if it's the last thing I do."
Raven and I exchanged glances. Beast Boy had turned down a video game. Had the world gone mad?
So I played Car Chase 47 alone, aiming to beat BB's high score. But I was paying more attention to the scene on the couch a few feet away than on the video game.
BB was cracking the best jokes he had on Raven. Some of them were actually pretty funny, but Raven wasn't laughing. Duh. As I watched them, though, I realized that although she was acting annoyed and trying to concentrate on her book, Raven was—enjoying—this attention from BB. And Beast Boy really liked talking with her, even though she never laughed at him.
I turned back to my video game and restarted the race, then heard a bloodcurdling scream that nearly sent me out the window. I whirled around. "Raven, are you O—"
I was met with a very strange sight. BB had turned into an aardvark and somehow pinned Raven down, and now was viciously tickling her with his long anteater tongue. Raven's face was twisted into a sort of strangled smile, and she was laughing so hard that objects cloaked in black energy were whizzing around the room. "Beast Boy—stop!!" she gasped between laughs. "Can't—breathe—"
Beast Boy turned back into a human, tickled Raven some more, and then let her go. The black objects dropped to the ground, and I snorted. What a pair!!
BB let a resounding "HA!!" echo through the main room. "Admit it, I made you laugh!! And remember," he said, nodding at me, "we have a witness."
Raven turned red, then calmed down and sighed. "OK, you win," she said resignedly. "But can I please finish my book now?"
Raven turned around. "My book! It's gone!" BB giggled and grinned, and Raven immediately faced him, glaring. "What did you do with it?" she snarled. BB backed up a few steps, then held up the book. "Na-na-na-na-na, you can't catch me!"
"Oh yes I can!" Raven crowed and sped off after Beast Boy. And that's the last I saw of them all evening.
The next day, as usual, I woke up last. And as usual, I immediately head for the kitchen. And, as usual, when I got to the kitchen, I smelled—you guessed it—tofu pancakes.
"Beast Boy!" I said, walking over to a humming BB at the stove. "Nobody wants your stinkin' tofu!"
BB smiled. "Raven does," he said as he clumsily flipped a pancake onto the floor.
"Raven?!" I turned to look at the table. Starfire and Robin were gaping at Raven, who was thoughtfully chewing on a piece of a gray pancake. "Y'know," she swallowed and said, "these actually don't taste as bad as they look." And she took another bite. And another. And another. Soon, her stack of pancakes was completely gone. She marched over the BB. "More, please."
I thought I was gonna puke. Raven liked tofu? Raven said please?
Starfire snapped out of her open mouthed stare and poured the rest of her Cap'n-Crunch-and-mustard down the hatch. "So," she said loudly, "who would like to go on a picnic today?"
It was just after breakfast, and Star was already thinking about lunch? Oh well, a picnic was a picnic, and it sure was a great day to have one.
"OK," I said, "in a couple of hours." I looked pointedly at Beast Boy. "But I'm packing the lunches."
"Oh, no you're not!"
"Yes I am!"
"No you're not!"
"Yes I am!"
BB sighed. "OK, but you have to pack me a tofu-chicken sandwich!"
Robin chimed in. "And a ham and cheese for me."
"MARSHMALLOWS AND MUSTARD!" Starfire sang.
"Marshmallows and WHAT?! Star, do you like mustard on everything?!"
"Yes! The unique taste I quite enjoyable."
This was supposed to be a one shot, but it's too long for one chapter. A new chapter is coming soon with the rest of the story. Please treat it as all one entry.
Do you like it? Review now! Flames are OK, but NO PULLING A SIMON! My man-eating beavers accompany me in all my stories.