Author's Note: I hadn't planned on ending the story this way, and I'm sorry it's so abrupt, and out of nowhere, but I just don't have time to continue this story. If it makes anyone feel any better, it was going to end in a couple chapters anyway, only the outcome would have been different. The song this final chapter is, 'Your Ex-Lover is Dead' by Stars.


The Secret

Chapter Ten: Your Ex-Lover is Dead

When there is nothing left to burn
You have to set yourself on fire

The road to Raleigh was a long stretch of land before me, and I was completely terrified of what life would be like there.

People would obviously judge me. Why wouldn't they? I'd be a seventeen year old mother, watching them go off to their high school proms, while I was forced to baby-sit.

Maybe I'd make a couple friends? God, I hoped so. Life was completely unbearable to go through alone.

God that was strange to see you again
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said "yes I think we've met before"
In that instant it started to pour

The music on the radio suddenly stopped, and was replaced with static. I rolled my eyes.

"Come on!" I banged my hands on the steering wheel, annoyed. Finally calming myself down, I leaned over, towards the glove compartment.

Opening it up, in search of a good CD, I gasped when instead, a picture of Lucas fell from it.

Not able to breathe, I picked the photograph from the ground, tears flooding my eyes. God, I loved him. And what was worse- he'd never know. And he'd probably never care.

I stared at the picture, running my hands over his face.

I was so involved, that I didn't even see the large semi-truck, as it came towards me.

Captured a taxi despite all the rain
We drove in silence across Pont Champlain
And all of that time you thought I was sad
I was trying to remember your name

My car overturned three times, and shattered into a hundred pieces, with me inside it.

I wasn't killed instantly.

That's what the doctor told my aunt and parents, regretfully, when they reached the hospital.

I suffered for a good three minutes, he told them, which I did. In those last three minutes of my life, I cried. I held the picture of Lucas towards my heart, using just my arm.

The baby was gone. I cried about that too. The one thing that would have loved me forever was gone. It didn't matter so much, though, because I knew I'd be going soon too.

I could hear screams from all around me, but I couldn't bring myself to do the same. I simply laid there, crying, and thinking of Lucas, and my baby.

This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
You tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in
And now you're outside me you see all the beauty
Repent all your sin

I was a shattered mess, when they found me. The police officers at the scene shed a few tears at my state.

"She was pregnant," One said sadly.

"What a beautiful girl," Another commented.

I was a bloody mess, literally. And one officer leaned down, picking up the picture of Lucas, and then regretfully, placing it back down beside me.

It's nothing but time and a face that you'll lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
I'll write you a postcard, I'll send you the news
From the house down the road, from real love

Peyton was the first person my mother called. Actually, the only person. She'd known I was popular, but she'd assumed my only real friend was Peyton. P. Sawyer had taken the news badly. She'd cried for a good hour or so, just sitting there, clutching the phone to her heart.

When she could finally breathe again, she picked up the phone, calling Haley.

Haley found out about my death on her wedding night. At first, she didn't believe it. I'd been with her just hours before! Nathan held her close, as she cried, shaking her head into his chest.

She cried herself to sleep, and Nathan lay there beside her, dazed.

Peyton called Lucas, too.

He didn't say anything at first, completely in shock. Then, the tears came. He and Peyton cried together.

And then she told him I'd been pregnant. And that just made things worse.

He told her he'd made a mistake, hurting me. He told her he'd loved me. He'd been in love with me.

There was no jealousy in her voice. There was no jealousy in her soul. Only regret. Like his.

Live through this and you won't look back
Live through this and you won't look back
Live through this and you won't look back

A memorial was held for me and my baby.

Everyone in the entire school came.

What was so sad was, I'd never known people had cared about me so much. Had I, I would have stayed. I would have begged Peyton to let me live with her- I knew her dad wouldn't care.

Had I known this, I would have told Lucas of my pregnancy. I would have kissed him, and forgiven him.

I wouldn't have ever cut my wrists.

I would have been happier.

There's one thing I have to say so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted, I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save

And now, as I watch from my little spot in heaven, I watch life below me.

Lucas didn't get over me; not for a long time. Him and Peyton found comfort in each other, and got together. I wasn't mad. I'd sort of hoped for it to happen. He visited my grave every day, though, without fail. And our daughter's, which was right beside mine.

Haley was unhappy for a while, too. After all, I think I was pretty much her best friend. And during my last months of life, she was mine too. She and Nathan stayed together. Although right now, she's on some tour with this scrawny guy named Chris Keller. But she'll be back soon. I know her.

I'm not sorry there's nothing to save