What If?

Summary: This begins right before the end of SM2. What if Peter couldn't take his crummy life anymore? So he decided to end his Spidey days...for good. One-shot.

Disclaimer: Of course I don't own Spiderman nor did I make the movie.

Peter stared out of his window as he sat on his bed. It was a beautiful late afternoon: a clear blue sky without a single cloud. It was warm, but it wasn't extremely hot. A cool breeze rustled through the trees and whistled by his open window. It was a perfect day...'For a wedding,' Peter thought grimly. He knew what day it was: it was Mary Jane's wedding. She was getting married to John Jameson. Even though he saved her from a diabolical scientist with four metallic limbs, even though he saved half the city from getting destroyed, even though he got his powers back, he couldn't love her...because no matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, the ones he loved would always be the ones who paid.

He knew that keeping MJ away from him was the best thing, but he couldn't live without her either. He had waited his entire life to hear her utter those three little words, but when she finally did, it was too late.

He remembered thinking 'Why now? Why of all times now?' When she kissed him like that at the funeral, he thought he was going to die. He loved her with all his heart and soul. He would do anything for her, but at the same time, he realized that he would never be there for her when she needed him. He could never assure her that he would come back alive because honestly, even he didn't know. He could never offer her what John had: money, comfort, and most importantly, time. He could never devote as much time as she deserved. Spiderman would always come first.

Spiderman...That had changed his entire life. Being Spiderman required so much dedication and effort. It had led to the death of Norman Osborn, which only fueled Harry's hatred toward him. What made it worse was that he couldn't tell-couldn't explain-to Harry why he killed his father. Norman told him not to. How could he disrespect a dead man's wishes?

'Even if it was those of a lunatic's,' thought Peter. It had taken away his Aunt May from him. He couldn't even offer her any money, and now, Aunt May was forced to move out of the only home that she had lived in her entire life.

It had even taken away his grades and his rent. He had potential, but because of his 'laziness,' he could never prove that he was more intelligent than what his grades reflected. Although Jameson paid him poorly, his former pizza delivery job and freelancing as a photographer for the Bugle would have been more than enough to pay for his rent.

Sure, Spiderman saved innocent people's lives, but that didn't make his job any easier. What was all this for? What was the use? Whenever he saved someone somewhere, he would get nothing but left behind-in everything-from his job, to his grades, to his personal relationships.

Why was he the only one who could do what he could do? Why was the burden of the world on his shoulders and his only? Peter couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed a sharp knife from his 'kitchen' cabinet.

'God, I'm so sorry, MJ, but I can't live without you. It's too painful to know that I love you, but I can never have you.' Before he could question his motives, he plunged the knife deep into his heart. He slowly pulled it out and gasped. He fell to the edge of the bed and clutched onto it tightly. He immediately regretted his action, but he didn't bother reaching for the phone because he knew that there was no turning back.


Mary Jane Watson smiled widely. She knew she made the right choice. She knew that Peter thought they couldn't be together, but she loved him, and there was no else on the world that she loved more. Then to her horror, she saw Peter sprawled on the floor with a knife next to his body. Her wide smile turned into a terrified gasp. She ran into the room and grabbed the phone. She made a quick call to 911. Then she ran toward Peter.

"Peter, Peter?!?!?" To her relief, she saw his eyes open slowly. She quickly ripped the hem of her wedding dress and tied it around his wound. When she was finished, she placed her hand on his face and caressed it.

"MJ," asked Peter with concern and confusion in his eyes, "What are you doing here?"

"Oh god, Peter, why? Why?" asked MJ as tears fell from her emerald green eyes in rapid succession. They were filled with pain and hurt.

"I couldn't live without you," said Peter as he smiled slightly, "It would be too painful to watch you live with someone else."

"Oh, god, Peter. I can't survive without you. How do you expect me to live after this?" asked Mary Jane.

"I'm sorry I'm going to put you through so much pain, but promise me," Peter gasped slightly, "that you'll live through today. You were destined for great things, and you'll live your entire life out."

Mary Jane shook her head. "No, I can't do that, Peter. I just can't."

Even though his vision was fading into darkness, his eyes filled with resolve and strength. "MJ, do it for me."

She nodded slightly as a lopsided grin slowly appeared on his face.

"I love you, MJ," he whispered.

"I love you, too, tiger," she said. Tears fell onto his face, and with a gentle hand, she quickly wiped them away. She smoothed his brown hair back from his boyish-looking face, and kissed him passionately-almost as if she was hoping that it would revive him. Even though he felt his strength leaving him, Peter kissed her back just as fiercely. It was a bittersweet moment for both of them, and when they pulled back, MJ buried her face into his shoulder.

"I'm so glad that I could see your face for one last time," Peter whispered as he stroked her fiery red hair. MJ snapped her head up and looked at him. Her mascara was running. Her hair was in complete disarray-strands sticking out everywhere, and her cheeks were salty and wet from the tears. She looked like a mess, but she never looked more beautiful, more marvelous, more...angelic...than ever before.

"You won't die, Peter. You can't..." Her voice trailed off as she saw Peter's eyes close gradually. She gripped his hand tightly and felt his life slowly ebb away.

"Don't you dare die on me, Peter! Don't you dare!" Mary Jane cried out as her body shook epileptically. There was no response, though-just a calm face that concealed the worn and torn hero within. For all the heroics in the world, for all the courage and valor that he had displayed, and for all the souls that he had inspired, Peter Parker couldn't salvage the one person who had answered the world's cries for a savior who would guide them: himself.


"Someone help me please!" screamed a young girl as she pounded on the window with her little tight fists. She was wearing her pink PJ's and white bunny slippers. She coughed slightly. Even though she had scurried to the safest corner of her room, she knew that it would only be a matter of mere seconds before the flames would reach her. She was afraid, but she was so sure-so confident-that Spiderman would appear. After all, he had saved her mother and her baby brother from falling off the subway. She turned and gasped. The flames were licking at her heels, and the smoke was enveloping her.

"Where are you, Spiderman?!" she screamed. As the sun began to dip below the horizon-turning the sky into a bright red-her cries echoed throughout the evening sky, but no one ever gave her an answer.

Author's Note: I know that this would never happen, and I would NEVER want Spidey to die this way, but like the title states it's a "What If" story. My sister suggested the idea, and I thought it would be an interesting way to end a hero's life. How many times have you heard of a hero killing himself in the comics? I'd like to thank my sis a lot for contributing the idea. And don't worry-I will update "Spiderman 4: The Last Stand" soon. I just thought that this was really fun to write, and I couldn't help myself. Hope you guys like it. I would really appreciate it if you review and provide me with some constructive criticism. Thanks.