"Gosh, this is more than anyone could ask for! Sloppy Joes and friggin tots!" he exclaimed.
"Well, it seems you have more sloppy joe gunk on your shirt rather than in your mouth, so I dont see how you got a good taste of it," Harry retorted.
All of a sudden, Quirell ran into the room screaming about a troll in the dungeon and passed out.
"How can anyone trust that guy? He wears a purple scarf on his head for flips sake! Maybe people would think I was cool if I put a scarf on my head" said Napoleon.
"Hermione is in the girls bathroom she doesnt know!" said Harry. Napoleon had more on his mind as he was trying to wrap his white napkin around his head to serve as a turban. Harry pulled him away from the table causing Napoleon not only to mess up his massive turban making skills, but also slip and fall on the floor where more than half of his sloopy joe was residing. They ran down to where the girls bathroom was and unfortunately noticed the troll was entering the girls bathroom where Hermione was.
"Harry, that looks like my mom when Kip stays too long on WOW (The Wizard Online Web)." Napoleon said. Harry pulled Napoleon into the bathroom following Hermione's crys for help.
"We need to help her!" Harry said. Harry ran up to where the troll was and climbed onto its back, getting his wand stuck in the trolls nose causing boogers to fly out everywhere. "Napoleon its up to he" he said.
Napoleon's face was once again in a stupid position, but then his face looked as if he had an idea. "I know I have seen that goo before! Snape dumped it on me! Quick does anyone have any feathers?" Napoleon yelled. He flicked his wand and yelled "Feathers fly from the sky oh so high like a kite on a string fall on him!" All of a sudden about one hundred fat birds fell from the ceiling and hit the troll in the head, which knocked him out. Harry and Hermione were alright, besides for the fact they were covered head to toe in feathers.
"Maybe you are not so stupid." began Harry. "Maybe you just pay so much attention to nonsense facts like boogies and you inadvertently saved the day! I dont believe it!"
All Napoleon managed to say was, "I know, its pretty sweet" then coughed a bit and straigtened his glasses. "Its probably one of the best things I have ever done." Just then, the teachers entered and Hermione confessed that she went looking for the troll loosing Gryffindor five points.
"But not many first years can take on a fully grown mountain troll and survive, so five points to each of you for dumb luck," McGonagall said.
"Mr. Dynamite, more retorts like that will surely loose you points, now, off to bed." she said.
The next day was the first Quidditch match of the season, Gryffindor vs. Syltherin.
"Come on, mate have some tots!" Napoleon said.
"Who said you could talk?" asked Harry. Snape walked over, and Harry noticed the blood on his robes telling the other two about what he had seen. Just then an owl swooped down with a rather large package addressed to Harry. It was the best racing broom to date, a Nimbus 2000!
"Wow, the only mail I ever get is old cheese balls and gimp for boondoggle keychains. But look at this, handle, bristles, lucky!" Napoleon said.
The match was going well in favor of Gryffindor when all of a sudden, Harry's broom was out of control, Hermione noticed that Snape was jinxing the broom and went to fix the problem, sure enough, all was well because she set his robes on fire.
"That was sweeeeeeet!" Napoleon said. "The only flames I can make come from my head!" Because of Hermione's help, Gryffindor won the match after Harry caught the snitch