I'm alive and kicking... but I went into the horrible live of the full time working human and got pulled away of my true obligations. Thankfully, miss Rhia Lang who so nicely agreed to beta this piece of work for which I'm absolutly thankful, contacted me through the dark arts you can only find in gmail and I was reminded of my duty here.
Yeah, basically she said HI! and I thought! Oh damn me! I've had the chapter beated in my mail for ages. Shame on me!
And now, for my lovely reviwers:
I was so glad to read your review!
Ok... Piper CAN count... I don't XP
Wonder: Thanks, I'm sporry it's been so long again > I hope you get to read this.
Stony Angel: Aw, thanks for the offer, I needed someone who actually could also help me with the grammar. I hope you like this one too!
Bhh charmed fangirl: I loved the way Chris played his older self and the charmed… heh, Modesty is my second name.
Pinkie Barbie: Thanks!
Vampyfreak: There's just fours Chris, tiny one, mini one, late teens one (also known as Lekter one) and normal one… but there's also foetus Chris, so that counts as the fifth. BDSM is an acronym for Bondage and Sadomasoquism… which is a weird way of feeling pleasure through pain and domination. U
Korilian: Yay, i noticed about the triplets/four too late, but thanks. I like psicho Chris too, he's just too crazy for his own good. And about Chris and the voices… I'll get to it, I swear. Thanks for the review and sorry for the delay >
Rhia: I'm you humble servant for now on, and besides I thank you very much for your beating.
Annawel: Thanks, i'm glad you liked this I do my best with the english, and I'm pretty prud of how it goes… but I'd like to get the first certificate or something… just for the resumee… well, I'll get to it.
Night Owl: i'm updating now… thanks! I'm happy you like it.
Warriora: It's been a little more than three months but I've finnally updated Thanks for the offer but I already had a beat (I just lacked time for updatings). I hope you like this new chapter and I swear that I'll try to update again soon.
Rosalene: Thanks, i hope you like this one too!
Ok, here's the thing… this chapter is far shorter than what I used to do, but I'll try and write shorter chapters to see if this way I can keep an updating schedule. I'm kinda lost with the story because I know where it will end but I'm not sure of what to do in the middle (I mean, I actually forgot about the Shadow demon… and now I have to remember what was in the stake for him) anyway I'd be forever thankful if you could state at least which are the less clear points in the story. Meaning, those things I've not finished explaining… or not explained at all. Because I'm a little lost here!
Thanks for reading (and please, do not hate me for the delay) … I can… i… I may… I offer you the biggest cookie ever in the world. In fact, it's such a big cookie there's just been three bigger cookies in the story of humanity. The first one was cooked by Napoleon chefs one day the emperor was sad because he'd just lost a battle. Napoleon was very fond of cookies, that's a historic (did I just make up a word?) fact. The other was the one I cooked for my last beta and if she reads this I hope she likes it. The third one is the one I cooked and now offer to my new beta, miss Rhia, who I wish enjoys it.
Oh, and I don't usually send this pre-chapter notes to be betaed, so don't blame her for the crappy grammar/ortography.
And now, on with the episoe:
This is how we left good old Leo and good old… young.. older… er… well, Chris…
Leo who for a second had thought Chris dead, looked around, half in relief half wonderment... where the hell was... An orbing dingling hastly followed by a dry THUD made him look up.
Chris was there. Both were. Only that Adult Chris was grabbing an unconscious Psico him.
"The differences..." he was saying. "are age, experience and being bethroted to an assassin that insisted in teaching me some tips, you moron." Carefully getting a safe grip of himself, the half witch orbed back. "See? It wasn't that hard..."
"Then why didn't you do it from the begining?"
"Because I amuse myself in seeing someone beating the crap out of you, Leo."
"Even your not so balanced version called me dad every now and then."
Chris looked at him straight in the eye with a expressionless face but said nothing of it and the elder found himself feeling grateful for that absence of an answer
"We must head back, Leo, because mum was worried sick and I can wake up at any moment. Plus I could do with some aspirins right now."
Today in Charmed…
Piper was worried sick.
More than that, she was having hysterics and ready to ground her recently found son for life.
He'd bailed on her... They were talking about the spell and what it had caused one moment and the next one he stands, throwing his chair to the ground, and orbs away swearing words she'd better not hear him say again until his 50th birthday
He'd wanted to know more about the spell that had split him in three.
"Four" she'd said.
"Well, yes... mini me, tiny me, me and foetus me... but I wasn't counting bean-Chris..."
"No, no... I meant it... it's four of you, not just mini and tiny but also... er... we could call him 'Lekter' you."
"Lekter me?" it had been a question, but also an statement. "My height? Shorter hair? No beard at all..."
"You don't have a beard at all now..."
"I have a shade!" Chris complaine with a pout.
"The shade of the shade of a single hair is not a beard..." she'd stated, earning a small glare.
"Whatever..." he'd dismissed it. "If I may stress the point, was he slightly younger than me?"
"Well... I'd say he was around eighteen or so and pretty... hum... how can I say it?" What was the correct word for crazy as a cow?
"Yes, that's the word."
Chris had rubbed his eyes, looking tired, his spirit that had somehow been raised for the last half an hour had dropped again. He just wanted to go to sleep, for god sake he was strained... just sleep.
"Was I that bad? He asked, not really wanting an answer.
His mother was pregnant, his aunts were away with tiny and mini who wouldn't keep his mouth shut for their lives... well, or maybe they would... god, he couldn't remember how good he was with secrets at seven! He just wished he was really good to avoid Phoebe's continuous questions, his brother was going to turn into the dark side and there was a demon on the loose who could possess any woman he'd want to. No.. he wasn't going to sleep any time soon.
"Well, you... him... er... You tried to kill us because you thought we were shapeshifters..." Piper had explained, not really sure of how much Chris needed to know. "What brings to my mind the subject of why would you be so startled of meeting us, and that leads me into the, I hope wrong, conclusion that we're not around in your future, which would mean that... "
Chris head snapped from the spot in the table he'd been transfixed on.
"It means nothing Piper..." he'd say, his voice strained probably due to the weariness. "You clearly can't just take seriously whatever I say... specially at eighteen."
"Yeah... you weren't all there." She conceded uneasily.
"That's an understatement. I was nuts." Chris smirked. He didn't need anyone trying to lie about his mind being an empty shell of chaos at that time of his life.
Like you're any better now... spatted Bi, and he was able to feel her snorting.
"Yeah... completely nuts." His mother agreed. "But what I wonder is where is your maniac version... I mean, before you changed you were with me, psyco you was with Paige and Phobe... I mean, your aunts, and tiny you told me that he was with... Uh oh... oh, oh… ooooh crap!"
Piper, the one Chris had known and called mother, had always been strongly against cursing in front of her children. As a result she only did it when something very very very bad was happening or about to happen.
This Piper, on the other hand, was more at ease about the subject. So much that Chris had been wondering how she'd have the nerve in the future to chastise him whenever he said something out of tone when her vocabulary at thirty was that of a drunk truck driver.
Maybe not that much.
"Uh oh?" he asked, not rally wanting to hear an answer.
"Tell me Chris..." she tried to say it at easy, to avoid worrying him, probably. Or most possible, to avoid worrying herself. "Exactly how much did you hate Leo when you were eighteen...?"
Chris hesitated, looking ready to use the 'Future consequences' card. But she'd had already met him at seven and at thirteen. It wasn't that hard to guess how things were between him and Leo later.
"Very much." He conceded.
"Very like in--- 'I don't talk to him'? Or very like 'I want to spit down his neck'?"
Very like 'I wan't to see you skinned alive and your head attached in a spike so I can put you in the hall, in my apartment, and hang my jacket from there every time I come home... he thought, remembering the hatred he'd felt then, the anger, the feeling of absolute despise and how everything was boiling inside with such a force he'd been unable to hear his own voice in it, his own mind trying to get a grip of his emotions. Even those feelings being nothing but memories, he felt everything rising again in his soul and for a minute had to fight to keep the madness down, to stop it from resurfacing again even when a part was willing to release the hold that kept him together and abandon himself into the peace that only oblivion could bring.
The fight was short and quiet, and when he looked again at Piper, she saw nothing of it in his eyes, but was gazing curious at him for he'd been silent.
"Very like... well, very. Why? What's the matter with it?" Chris answered, suddenly curious.
"Well... it's possible that Leo is with you... I mean with your eighteen years old self."
"Oh man... that's..." he'd grinned. "that's bad..." a snort had followed the grin. "That's really really bad... I should... I should go..." And you could stop snorting, you bad boy. That was Victor, but the old man's voice wasn't really convincing, it sounded like if he would have been grinning too.
"Go where?" she's asked.
"Don't worry, mum, I'll be back in a couple of minutes."
And he'd left in a hurry. Leaving her alone with the echo of the last words spoken. One was ricocheting in her ear.
He'd said mum.
And she'd hang on that 'mum' for twice the time he'd said he'd be out.
He'd said mum.
But he'd said that half an hour ago. That was fifteen times what he'd said he'd be away.
One thousand eight hundred seconds.
One hundred eight thousand milliseconds.
Six million four hundred eighty thousand nanoseconds.
Three hundred eighty eight and... uh... er... something else tiny mili nano ultra little seconds (what? I don't even know what word goes here in Spanish, how am I supposed to know it in English?).
In fact it was already thirty two minutes now and going...
Blue lights, blue balls, dingling and all that stuff later, Chris was there with Leo and his unconscious younger self.
The moment they'd appeared she'd jumped from the chair with a mix of anger and relief.
"What... what happened? Why didn't you come home earlier? Where were you? Why is he unconscious? Did you know about him? Are you okay? Is he okay? Where were you?"
Chris raised a hand to stop her, he was smiling, but the mirth didn't reached his eyes and his face was tense, tired of the effort of keeping up that smile. That had been a pretty insightful thought, Piper thought bewildered, and probably most of it caused by my mind overreacting at the late news. Focus, Piper, focus.
Chris was asking something.
"...those questions were directed to me?"
"I asked which of those questions where for me..."
The witch thought of it.
"The first, the third, the fourth, the sixth, and the seventh..."
"I found Leo and Lekter me. In the zoo. I knocked him off. I'm in need of aspirins and coffee. He is okay."
"The rest of the questions were for you, Leo..." she said to her ex-husband who was looking rather absent.
He was, indeed, rather absent.
"Where were you, Leo?"
"Oh... the zoo is closed today, so I thought it would be a good idea to go there to keep Chris occupied while I thought of a way to calm him down."
"The zoo?" Chris snorted. "You thought the zoo would keep me busy? What was I supposed to do? Whatch the dolphins? Throw peanuts to the elephants?"
"I thought it was a good place where I could... i don't know what I was thinking, it's not like I have to run away from my psychotic son every day!" the elder said slightly angry at Chris constant bickering, he should have thought better his words.
"So you knew?" Piper voice was reaching high pitch limits "So you knew? SO YOU KNEEEEEW?"
Leo wished elder powers included retreating in time. They didn't.
"I- I- knew what, honey?"
"Don't honey me, you... you traitor! You knew about Chris and you didn't tell me?"
"You know about him?" Leo turned to the half witch who wasn't trying to hide a smug smile. "You told her? How could you?"
"Excuse me? What does that mean? Why couldn't he tell me?" Piper had both hands in her hips now and if glares could kill Leo'd be six feet under ground and going down.
"He told me not to tell you! He said... he..." the elder turned to his son for support."Tell her that... " but Chris wasn't there anymore. "Chris?"
"I'll be in the attic..." the half whitelighter said from the stairs where he was carrying his younger self instead of orbing him for some reason we'll never know. "... placing myself between some protection stones..." and disappeared in the second floor.
"But tell her what you told me!" Leo pleaded to the empty space Chris had left behind.
"Uh..." the dead man looked at his ex-wife, fearing he was going to become deader any second now. But Piper was quite calm.
"So you knew..."
"Yes... when you were possessed he called you mum, and Wyatt orbed next to him to protect him..."
"So, basically, our nearly two years old son has known this even before we did..." Piper stated allowing herself a grin that Leo mirrored. "That doesn't says much about us..."
A little more at ease, both sat in the coach.
"Our first son is the source of all evil and the second one is a neurotic..."
"..and psychotic, we can safely say he is a little psychotic too..."
"...so he is a neurotic and a psychotic freak..." Piper added with a moan of frustration. "We're such a horrible parents..."
"C'mon, Piper... don't be so hard on yourself..." he put a tentative hand in her shoulder, and she didn't push it away.
"I was mean to him." She said, shaking her head.
"Well, I told him we weren't family."
"I threw him out his own house."
"I attacked him with a sword..."
"While we were looking for you in Valhalla."
"Oh... " Piper looked downcast for a moment, but not for long. "Nevertheless, I slapped him!"
"And I broke his arm!"
"And I can't believe you two are actually fighting about who's a worse parent." Chris said walking down the stairs. "Not when there's still a demon to vanquish, a brother to save, lots of innocents in danger and all that stuff... You should feel so ashamed."
As he left his parents at loose of words, and therefor proved that he was still able to do so, Chris added. "I'm off to P3 to grab the girls and my other me's before someone spills too many secrets."
I hope you liked this!