What You Want
A 'Kenkeru' Digimon 02 Shonen Ai/Yaoi

Standard disclaimers apply.

SPOILER WARNING: Spoilers for 02 (that's season 2 for the uninitiated) up to and including the episodes involving Chimeramon (yeah, that thing).

SHONEN AI/YAOI WARNING: This was a yaoi fic that has been downgraded to shonen ai thanks to the, er, removal of the naughty bits. If you read it anywhere else, you will get the naughty parts. However, here at the pit of voles it has to be tamed down. Pity.

DEDICATION: This is for Ajora, whose Ken obsession is damn addicting.

It was a nice day, the sunshine glittered brilliantly through the glass windows as the teacher droned on and on. The students grumbled amongst themselves as quietly as possible, they wanted school to be over with as soon as possible so they could get out and enjoy the wonderful weather.

Well, almost all of them.

All through class Hikari kept shooting Takeru worried looks. Something wasn't right with him. She could tell, but for the life of her she couldn't figure out what it was. Maybe she should talk to him after school.

Takeru was oblivious to her concern. His mind was on other, more distressing matters. He kept replaying the events of the past few days over and over and over again in his head trying to figure what it was he did wrong, or what he could have done right.

The worst of it had started with Devimon and that fight with Ken. The things he had said... he'd even hit Ken, what was wrong with him? Sure he had been angry, but he'd never been a person who would hurt somebody else on purpose, had he?

And what had happened afterwards. Oh god, it had been horrible. Even with all the things Ken had done, he hadn't deserved that, had he?


Takeru shook his head vehemently at the thought. No, nobody deserved that, not even the Digimon Kaiser.

Which brought Takeru back to wondering about how Ken was doing. He had looked so lost when he walked away from all of them. He had gone home at least, Taichi had let them know about the news broadcast... but that didn't mean he was okay. How could someone be okay after all that had happened?

Takeru frowned, maybe he should go check up on Ken, see how Ken was doing, and... apologize for the things he had said and done. Yeah, that would be the right thing to do.

He had to do something.

"Takeru! Wait up!" Hikari yelled as she ran to catch up to her rather distracted friend. School was finally out, but Takeru still seemed to be out of it. She frowned as he looked back her, something must be wrong.

"Oh hi, Hikari. What's up?" Takeru smiled weakly hoping it wasn't something important. He really didn't feel like talking, he might lose his nerve on what he was going to do later.

"That's what I was going to ask you. What's wrong?" Hikari looked up at him, waiting for his answer.

"Oh, nothing really. Just been thinking about the past few days... nothing serious," Takeru smiled reassuringly.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. It has been pretty tough... must be even worse on Ken," Hikari looked down, not noticing when Takeru winced at those words. "I hope he's okay."

Takeru touched her shoulder and smiled warmly, "I'm sure he will be." He continued on as Kari returned the smile with her own, "Listen, I gotta go, see ya tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Hikari waved at him as he turned to run off. "Say hello to Patamon for me!"

"Sure thing! See ya!" Takeru waved back at her, making himself hurry. He had to do this, for himself and for Ken.

As he turned the corner, right on cue, Patamon flew out of one of the trees and into his arms. "Takeru!"

"Hey buddy, how was your day?" Takeru smiled down and hugged his partner. There was nothing in the world like having Patamon to depend on. What would he possibly do if he didn't have the perky little digimon anymore? Takeru frowned as Patamon snuggled up against him, chattering on about how boring the day was without him around. What would Ken do? He wouldn't do something... drastic would he?

"Takeru?" Patamon struggled out of his arms and flew up to hover right in front of his face. "You're not listening to me, is something wrong?"

"I've just been thinking a lot," Takeru gazed mournfully into his best friend's brilliant blue eyes. "Do you think you could go home on your own today? I think I need to do something."

"What? What is it?" Patamon blinked in confusion. "Can't I go with you?"

"No, I don't think that would be a good idea," Takeru trailed off, this wasn't going to be easy to say. "You remember what happened in the fortress between me and Ken?"

"Yeah," Patamon nodded slowly. "You were fighting."

"Well, I said some really mean things and considering all that happened I think I need to apologize to him, and see how he's doing and all," Takeru trailed off.

"Okay," Patamon blinked, it made sense. Takeru really wasn't the vindictive type. "But why can't I go with you?"

"I don't think it would be a good idea," Takeru reached out drawing Patamon to him in a hug. "I mean, he doesn't have his digimon anymore, but I still have you. I think it might hurt him seeing you and me together."

"Oh, yeah," Patamon nodded against Takeru's shoulder. "I guess."

"So," Takeru gave the little digimon another squeeze before letting him go. "Think you can go home alone? Or maybe you could visit Yamato? I'll be home later, okay?"

"Okay, but be careful." Patamon frowned worriedly before fluttering off. "I'll see you later!"

"Yeah, see ya later," Takeru mumbled as he waved his partner off. Now all that was left to do was the hardest part of all, talking to Ken.

It only took a few seconds for the doorbell to be answered after Takeru had rung it. The homely looking woman who blinked down at him in curiosity looked like any normal mother, save for the slight puffiness around her eyes. "Yes, can I help you?"

"Uhm hi," Takeru faltered, how was he going to say this. "I'm... uh, a friend of Ken's, and I was wondering if I could... uh, talk to him... see how he's doing and all?"

"Oh, a friend of Ken's?" Ken's mother's eyes widened in surprise. "He never mentioned having any friends, but he never really seemed to want to talk about anything else either," She trailed off. "But please, come inside I'm sure he'll appreciate the concern." She smiled cheerfully as she led him into the front hall.

Takeru mechanically slid off his shoes and put the guest slippers on. He was here, he was inside, and he was about to see Ken. Please, just let me do this right, he thought.

"Ken is uhm," Ken's mother spoke quietly as she led Takeru to her son's closed door. "He hasn't really come out much since he got back, and well, just... since you're a friend... try to get him to talk to you?" She looked down at Takeru hopefully as she added, "Please?"

"Okay," Takeru watched as Ken's mother reached out and rapped her knuckles against the door. His thoughts were amazingly quiet but his stomach was knotted and queasy. How was he going to do this?

"Ken honey, you have a guest." Ken's mother called out before turning the doorknob to her son's bedroom and pushing the strange boy into the darkened room. She was ready to do anything to get a response out of her son about what had happened to him... and why he had left. She just hoped this would work.

Takeru winced as the door closed shut behind him. There was no way out now. He was alone... with Ken, in Ken's bedroom. He was going to do this. He had to do this. He scanned the room, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the dim light. All the lights were off, the window shedding off the only illumination and even that was dimmed by a drawn shade. There was a computer on the desk to his left, but it was eerily shut off. In front of him was a high bed, and laying on it with one arm slung carelessly over the side was his reason for being there. And by the way that Ken was glaring at him, he wasn't exactly welcome.

"Uhm... hi?" Takeru started off carefully, shuffling his feet ever so slightly.

"What do you want?" Ken spat venomously in return.

Takeru winced once more, this was going to be harder than he'd thought. "I wanted to see how you were doing."

"Oh really?" Ken purred menacingly before he snarled, "I don't need your pity. Leave!" He pointed forcefully towards the door then rolled over onto his side, turning his back to the unwelcome visitor that had come calling.

"That's not it," Takeru gazed down at his feet, flexing his fingers in agitation. This wasn't going well at all. "I just wanted to apologize for what I said and for hitting you."

"Why?" Ken rolled back over and off the side of the bed, landing on his feet with quiet, catlike grace. "What do you have to apologize to me for? You're one of the good guys and I'm the villain. You won. I lost. What else do you want?"

"For you to believe me," Takeru glared back into Ken's glinting amethyst eyes. "I didn't mean what I said, I was just angry, that's all, and I'm sorry I hit you."

"Why ever for?" Ken smirked and pointed to the scrape evident on the side of Takeru's face. "I hurt you after all. Why shouldn't you have returned the favor?"

Takeru shook his head, "That's not the point. It was wrong. I shouldn't have done it."

Ken gritted his teeth in fury and darted forward, slapping Takeru on the cheek. He grinned knowingly as he drew back, "And how about that? Was that wrong? I felt like doing it."

Takeru rubbed his smarting cheek. This was going nowhere fast. "It's all right, it's not like I've done you any favors."

Ken rolled his eyes heavenward, "Oh please spare me. I don't need or want your sympathy or your pity. Just go." He pointed towards the door once more.

"But... but..." Takeru stammered along helplessly. What could he possibly say to get through to Ken. "I just... I just wanted to help."

"Is that so?" Ken struck out swiftly, sweeping Takeru off of his feet with a well placed kick. The carpet muffled his fall, but the impact was jarring enough to daze him.

Takeru blinked, spots dancing before his eyes as he tried to figure out how things had led up to this. His breath caught in his throat as slender fingers wrapped around his neck and he found himself nose to nose with Ken.

Eyes that seemed to have been carved out of purple ice bore into Takeru's as Ken stated plainly, "Let's get one thing straight Takaishi Takeru, I do not need anyone's help nor would I want it. I do not care about your remorse over your previous actions nor will I accept any guilt-ladden apology for them from you. Understand?"

Upon later introspection, Takeru wasn't quite sure why he did what he did next. Maybe it was because somewhere deep down inside of him, he knew that it would actually shatter Ken's barriers. Maybe it was just because the other boy seemed so lonely in that single instance. Or maybe it was just because he really did feel like it. Whatever he was thinking, the results were the same. Takeru tilted his head to the side and leaned upwards, pressing his lip gently against Ken's.

Ken's eyes widened in shock at the touch. He jerked away after only a second's hesitation, scooting back across the carpet and putting several feet of distance between him and Takeru. He slowly reached up and touched his own lips with his fingertips, his eyes narrowing in confusion, "Why did you do that?"

Takeru shrugged, unsure of what to do next. "I felt like doing it?" He asked, turning Ken's own words back on the boy.

Ken chuckled cynically, "I see." He frowned once more in confusion as Takeru got up and walked over to him. "What is it you want?"

"I don't know," Takeru smiled reassuringly. "But this is a start." He continued as he reached up and caressed Ken's cheek. Leaning forward, he brushed his lips lightly against Ken's again hoping for a different reaction this time.

Ken took very little time in responding. After all, if this is what Takeru wanted, he was certainly going to enjoy himself. He leaned forward, moving his lips against the boy's, licking them with his tongue, teasing them into parting so that he could delve into the moist warmth within. He snaked a hand up, sliding it up under Takeru's shirt, running his fingers over the soft, smooth skin beneath.

Takeru shivered at Ken's touch, promptly losing his balance and falling backwards across the floor. Ken undeterred, swiftly followed after him, searing his lips with a demanding passion and teasing his skin with soft feathery touches.

It was some time before Ken drew away, desire burning in his eyes and a smirk twisting his lips up. "This is pleasant, but I'm forgetting something." He gracefully climbed to his feet and walked over to open the door. Casting a rather dazed and confused Takeru a knowing smile, he tossed a "Don't move." over his shoulder before walking out and closing the door behind him.

"Ken honey?"

Ken stopped halfway to bathroom and smiled pleasantly as he looked over at his mother in the living room. "Would you mind if Takeru joined us for dinner mother? We're... talking, and I'd like him to stay for awhile."

Ken's mother beamed at the suggestion. Her little boy was finally talking to somebody. "Of course dear, I don't mind at all." She blinked as something occurred to her. "I should make a quick trip to the grocery then since we're going to have company." She clasped her hands together worriedly. "Will you be okay here alone? Your father won't be back from work for awhile yet."

"Oh don't worry, mother," Ken smiled cheerfully at the news. "I'm sure we'll be just fine."

"Well, okay dear," Ken's mother started gathering her things together for the trip. "I won't be long."

Ken continued on to the bathroom as his mother mumbled distractedly to herself. This was just too perfect for words, even for him. He smirked at himself in the mirror of the medicine chest before opening the door and pulling out what he was searching for. This was going to be fun.

Meanwhile, Takeru was rubbing the palm of his hand against his forehead and trying to catch his breath. What the hell was he doing? He hadn't planned this at all. He had just wanted to apologize. So how did things lead up to him laying on the floor and waiting impatiently for Ken to come back so they could continue what they were doing? This was nuts. He whipped his head around, his eyes widening as the doorknob began to turn.

Ken walked back into his bedroom, closing the door shut behind him. He leaned against the cool surface of the door and smirked down at Takeru. His arms were crossed behind him as he turned the lock with an audible click. Ken was suddenly thankful that his father hadn't ended up breaking the lock altogether when his parents had barged into his room looking for him after he had left for the digital world.

Looking askance, almost as if he were paying half attention to the door and half to the boy sprawled out on the floor, he smirked ever so slightly. "You've been invited to dinner. But mother had to go out to the grocery since we're having a guest over, and father won't be home for another hour or so. It's just you and me." Focusing his gaze back on Takeru, he continued. "Whatever will I do with you?"

Takeru bolted upright, a rosy blush painting his cheeks crimson in the shadows. "Uhm," he mumbled as he scratched the back of his head.

Ken's smirk widened at that as he tried his best not to laugh. This was just too amusing for words. "Oh, are we going to be shy now?" He purred, snickering to himself as Takeru's cheeks darkened even more. Hmm, this scene definitely needed some illumination. He walked over to his desk, keeping what he held behind his back and out of view. Smiling pleasantly he turned on his desk lamp.

Takeru blinked rapidly as the sudden light blinded him. "What?"

"I want to see what I'm doing." Ken grinned as Takeru froze, almost like a deer caught in the headlights. Oh, this was going to be so much fun.

It was some time later before Takeru realized that he was still lying on the floor of Ken's bedroom, naked, and a little bit more time to realize he was going to have to clean himself off. Ew! He scrunched his face up at that particular thought.

Takeru rolled over and watched bemusedly as a rather sated Ken slowly ran supple fingers over his chest. The movement looked really good, really, really good to Takeru.

Mentally smacking his raging hormones back into some semblance of order, Takeru coughed. "Your mother will be back soon."

"Mmm," Ken mumbled noncommittally as he continued along with what he was doing.

Takeru frowned at him, "Does this mean-"

"No!" Ken swiftly cut Takeru off. He laced his fingers together and simply laid there in the afterglow.

"Oh," Takeru trailed off disappointedly. He watched Ken worriedly for several minutes before venturing out, "Would you like to talk about it?"

Ken whipped his head around sharply and glared at Takeru, "No, I wouldn't."

"Well, you don't have to," Takeru stated as he rolled over to stare up at the ceiling. He waited a moment for that to sink in before continuing, "I'll be here if you want to though. Okay?"

Several minutes passed by in oppressive silence before Takeru heard a soft, "Thank you." He smiled at those words and closed his eyes. This was going to be interesting.