Omg! I wrote another Wolf's Rain fic! ::gasps:: And a fluff between Toboe/Tsume!? Haven't I done this before? I don't own Wolf's Rain nor do I own the song 'This I Promise You' for it is by Nsync (I'm only using part of the song, to long to use the whole song) Meant to be non-yaoi but your more then welcome to think of it in a yaoi way.
Warning: It's SHORT! -.- Probably the shortest I've written.
IIIII Toboe POV
I'll be your strength
I'll be your hope
Putting my fingers in the water in the river, it flowed between my fingers, the moon shining in the water's bright glisten. Somehow the river always looks it prettiest at night. I just noticed that too. I smile slightly. Though it's not like I had chose to stay up until all hours of the morning but my sleeping habits have been drastically changing. Ever since I've been having nightmares I have been staying up later then even Tsume who is a night hawk.
Yawning, I want to fall asleep, but I know that I can't. I don't want to have nightmares of those types again. Granny refusing to pet me, Kiba telling me that I'm no use to the group, Hige just turning his back to me, Blue shouting at me to leave her alone, then Tsume hitting me to the cold black ground of my dream. It all seems so real, then again I know that it can't be that way, since they all love me. Right? I mean they wouldn't tell me that I'm useless. Or hit me. Well Tsume has before but now he's been changing for the better. Around me for the most part. Blue even said that I was the little brother she never had but had always wanted. It made me feel special. Like I really belonged here. Something like that.
Now that it's so close to the time that Granny died I guess that the thoughts are coming back. Fogging up my mind. I can't even think straight! What the heck am I trying to do by staying up? I can't even run forward now, I end up going all tipsy to the left or the right, either that or collapsing from lack of sleep. Sometimes I need to fall asleep. Now it's that I want to but I'm afraid to. I can't cuddle up with anyone here. They probably think that it would be to weird. I'm just Toboe. Not really adding much to the group; not really adding anything as a friend either. I never thought of it that way. I think of them as really good friends that I can turn to.
What do they think of me?
The one you should call
Was standing here all along
Looking behind me, I see that all of them are spread out. No one here is really close. The only reason that we even travel together is to get to Paradise. I think otherwise that Kiba and Tsume would have ripped eachothers necks out since they absolutely are clashing egos. Hige obviously likes Blue but I'm not sure what Blue thinks of Hige. I feel a bit like I don't belong with a bunch of adult woods. I'm just a pup. What am I doing here? Thinking about it makes me down and depressed. I give a sigh.
"I'm not much of a friend or a wolf. What am I going to do?" I whispered to myself, looking at the sky. "Why can't I just be normal?"
"Pup?" Tsume said in a questioning tone. He moved his head so it was more comfortable to face me, he sat the nearest to me, so he began opening one eye to look at me. "Why are you still up?"
"I woke you up?! I'm sorry!" I thought that he would be angry but he was more angry that I wasn't answering his question. Just that I didn't want to say that I was having nightmares, since that would probably qualify in the 'wussy' category for him. He made quick judgements like that. Wish he wouldn't do that.
"No. I woke up on my own accord," He replied, cracking his neck. "So? Why you awake, pup?"
And I will take you into my arms
And hold you right where you belong
At first I considered telling him that I was having nightmares. Then I reconsidered what his reaction would be. Probably be calling me a big brat and to toughen up. I sort of look down to the ground, ashamed written all over my face, since that's what I am. I don't want to be labeled as a sissy. I'm not that at all. I might be afraid, but everyone got scared at times, I just get scared easier then they do. That's all. But that wouldn't fly with Tsume.
"I can't get to sleep is all."
"Don't sound like nothing to me. You haven't been sleeping well for the past few days."
"So? Why would you care?"
He gave a 'pfft' and sat up. "Why you ask?"
I nodded, facing him also. He seemed to be only half awake. It was obvious from him answering so slowly, kind of funny to see the rough no-nonsense Tsume act this way. He put a smile on my face. I hadn't smiled in the last few days, finally, I have.
"What you smiling at?" Tsume hissed.
"Don't apologize. I'm just a bit agitated."
Blinking in confusion, I asked "Why?"
"Why would you care about me?" Tsume repeated my question that I originally asked him. Which bugged the heck out of me. "Dammit kid, you have to think more of yourself."
Till' the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you
There was a long silence. I could tell that it was hard for him to be so nice, especially to me. I'm a pup. He's not used to kids. I can tell.
"What's with all of this 'I'm not a good friend'? Then something about not being a good wolf," he repeated what I had said to myself. Argh! He had heard it! I thought he was sleeping. I had sort of an angered look on my face. "What's your problem now?"
"I didn't want you to hear that!"
"Calm down already."
Taking in a deep breath, my muscles relaxed in my body. Like I could just fall asleep. Then I snap back to. I can't! Nightmares. I shiver at the thought of another one. Those feelings. I only felt those once before, after Granny died, and I don't ever want to feel them again.
I don't want to feel that again.
Make them go away! I yell in my head.
"First off your a good friend," Tsume explained.
I give you my word
I give you my heart
"I-I am?" I repeat.
"Why in the world did you think I said that for? When I say your a good friend you are!" he snapped. I nodded quickly. "And your still a pup. Don't be so hard on yourself. I know that I am at times but I don't mean it."
"You sound serious at the time," grimly I say. "You always tell me to toughen up. When you say it all mean like I really do think that you like me."
"Aw man," he sighs out. "I hate when I have to eat my words!"
I give a small smirk. "It's okay Tsume."
"Obviously you aren't doing okay."
"What do you mean?"
"You aren't doing okay is what I mean. Duh!"
This is a battle we've won
"I'm alright. Really," I lied.
"Like hell you are. I know that you aren't. It's written all over your face!" he snaps, making me eat my words. Lying to Tsume never workds. I should have learned that by now. "Pup, you have to learn that you have to rely on other people sometimes. I mean other wolves. You stopped doing that the last few days. You wouldn't let us help you."
"I-I didn't want to be a burden."
"Your the pup of the group. We're supposed to take care of you."
This logic seems right. Tsume made logic for once. They all know that I hate to be babied. Help is okay once and a while but helping me all the time is a bit over board. I might be the youngest but it doesn't I can't kick butt. I have saved them on a few occassions. It might not be as many times that they have saved me but it's enough to count for something. It makes me feel a bit better just thinking that I have done things for them a couple of times to make up for what they've done for me. I might not be completely useless after all!
"I have done things for you all," I pointed out with a nod. He gave a slow nod, obviously trying to think of one of the times. "I know it might not be many but atleast I have."
There was a long silence. Seems that we got that out, but he knew that something else was going on, the questions that were coming next were in his eyes. He had more questions coming my way which I were ready for. Partly.
"This can't possibly be why you've been up all hours of the night."
"N-No," I say.
"Why don't you say it so we get this over with!?"
Tears form in my eyes. I don't want to be a burden. I don't want to trouble Tsume over my problems. They don't concern him that much anyway.
He put a hand on my shoulder, saying "Don't cry. Okay? You'll make the others wake up."
Silent tears fall down my cheeks. "Granny died a couple years ag-ago. I-I can't get over it. It's around the time tha-that s-she died. I don't want to have nightmares about it againt Tsume! It hurts to much to think about it!"
"Calm down Toboe! It's okay!" Tsume said.
"I don't want it to happen again! I don't want to hurt like that again!" I cried, pouring my heart all out. I looked up at him. He looked a bit stunned that I was crying so hysterically.
"It's okay! It's all done, Toboe. We're here for you now. You have us-"
"What if they decide leave me?! What if you all decide that I'm to weak for you all? What if you leave me?!" I asked, realizing that I had put so much emphasis on 'you'. He wrapped his arms around me.
He seemed a bit suprised about himself hugging me. He said "I..I won't leave you. I will never do that. They might, but I wouldn't do that. Your to much like a little brother to me, I'm attached to you so much, if I were to leave you alone I would never be able to live with myself. I wouldn't be happy."
And with this vow
Forever has now begun
"T-Tsume!" I sobbed out, wrapping my arms around his waist, crying into his chest.
"I'm trying to say that....I really care for you."
He cares for me? He really does?
"Like a little brother of course," He finishes.
I snuggle up closer. "I really care for you too."
That night I had no nightmares, wrapped up next to Tsume, who was kind enough to help me through that time. If it weren't for him I don't know what would have happened. He's my big brother. I care for him so much.
More then ever before.
My God that was short! 0.0 Don't hold it against me! Plz review!
Oh, note thingy. I know that Tsume wouldn't come out and say 'I love you' so I had him just say 'I really care for you'. I can't imagine Tsume saying 'I love you'. In some strange way 'I really care for you' seems more like a Tsume thing ::gets bricked:: Ow . And I know that I used an Nsync song! So shoot me! ::gets shot:: Ow X.x
Review please! No flames! Constructive critism is welcome.