Our Past part 2: The Reason We Still Fight

Title: Our Past part 2: The Reason We Still Fight
Author: kazeko
Show: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon
Rating: PG
Timeline: "The Last Sacrifice: The End of the Silver Millennium", "CAS 1: The Trouble with Love is the Lovers", "CAS 2: To Defy Destiny", "Every Cloud", "Crystal Shards", "CAS 3: Unwilling Accomplice", "Our Past 1: The Reason We Fight", "CAS 4: Princess of Light", "Our Past 2: The Reason We Still Fight", "Our Past 3: The Reason We Fought", "CAS 5: One Last Shining Star", "Destiny or Duty", "Desperately Searching", "Kazeko", "Chronicles of the Star Senshi"
Series: "Our Past"
Multipart: no
Time: At the very end of SMSS, somewhere in southern Honshu
Couple: Haruka/Michiru
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Duh.
Author's Note: This is the second fanfic I ever wrote and it leads directly to part 3, which Haruka mentions in "Kazeko". I do happen to know that there's already a SMSS special with Haruka and Michiru, but I needed a way to get them to look for Helios. Enjoy.

She sighed, staring into her drink. What did she do to chase Michiru away? Why was she so determined? Why couldn't she just keep her mouth shut? Haruka clenched her fist and jerked back as the glass shattered, hanging her head. She needed to get control of her emotions! The waitress came over and gathered the glass shards, silently placing a new glass of water on the table where the old one had been. She smiled shyly at Haruka, and the blonde woman shook her head. She didn't feel like flirting, anyway. "Thank you." The waitress nodded stiffly and left.

Haruka returned to her contemplations. Michiru had walked away, furious, with a man, of all things. For once Haruka hadn't gone after her, and the cold cramp in her belly scared her into thinking that she might never follow after her. They were a good team, but maybe that was all. Michiru was water, the sea, and she was the wind; they were united in the constant struggle against the land, but they could not be mixed. They were different.

A scream sounded from the other end of the room, and Haruka's reflexes had her on her feet, transformation pen in her hand before she realized what she was doing. Sailor Uranus looked at the pen she held, and she realized that she had no reason to use it. She certainly had nothing left to fight for. For the first time since she picked up that pen to save the beautiful Neptune's life so long ago, Haruka didn't fight.

Michiru led her reluctant partner into the hotel, ignoring the taller woman's muttering. "Haruka, we came here to relax. I can't relax if you keep complaining."

"Sorry, Michiru. But I just don't feel comfortable here anymore. We should return to Tokyo and Sailor Moon. She must need us."

Haruka's words caught the violinist off-balance, and she stopped still, just a few feet away from the registration desk. Getting her emotions under control, Michiru released Haruka's hand and turned to face the blonde. "Return? Tokyo is nothing but a city at war and I am tired of living that life. We left because there was nothing left for us to do after Mugen Gakuen was destroyed and we recognized Tsukino Usagi as our Princess, the Messiah. We have done everything there that we need to do and I don't want to return."

Haruka shook her head, holding her hands up defensively. "No, Michiru; don't mistake my words. I just think that as long as we're traveling we should head north and see the little kittens. That's all. If you don't want to go, we won't. I would never force you, Michiru, and I wouldn't leave you behind."

The explanation was tenuous at best and the peace was doomed to be temporary, but Michiru slipped her fingers into Haruka's again and walked to the desk. "We called for a reservation?"

"Names, please?"

"Kaiou Michiru and Ten'ou Haruka."

"Ah, yes; let me call a porter to take your bags." While the man was busy, Michiru's friend that worked in the hotel's entertainment department rushed up to the aqua-haired woman, utterly breathless.

"Michiru-san! I didn't know you were coming!"

"Hello, Koshu-kun. It's nice to see you again."

Koshu bobbed his head in a friendly bow, smiling at Haruka, who wore a frown on her very expressive lips. "You must be Michiru's partner, Ten'ou Haruka. Pleased to meet you." Against her better judgment, Haruka bowed back politely and forced a smile.

"It's always nice to meet one of Michiru's friends."

"Call me Koshu, Ten'ou-san."

A slight pressure on the hand in Michiru's grasp prompted Haruka's answer. "Then I am Haruka."

"Is it true, Haruka-kun, that you play the piano?"

Haruka started, certain that she had heard incorrectly. Her hobby was not a matter for casual conversation! "Haruka plays very well," Michiru laughed, her former elegant grace lacing her light voice once more. "We've played together a time or two."

"Then I think I will ask you, after all. Michiru-san, our act for tonight was held up by an accident in Okayama-ken and cannot perform for us. If you and Haruka-kun have played duet before, I and my entire staff would be grateful if you would play for the guests tonight."

Haruka pulled Michiru back a step as the clerk handed her their room keys and their bags were taken up to their room. "Michiru, do we have to? I'm not sure I like the idea of playing in front of other people."

Michiru giggled, their earlier brief spat buried. "You play for and with me when we're alone."

"For you, Michiru," Haruka emphasized. "Not for them."

"It's important to Koshu-kun, and he wants to be your friend. Please, Haruka?" Her pleading blue eyes sparkled in the bright light, and Haruka relented; she always relented.

"Very well, but just once."

Haruka touched Michiru's shoulder, wondering what she saw in the dark depths of the powerful Aqua Mirror.

"It feels like someone very close to me, a part of me, is in pain and I can't see."

"Part of you, my Michiru? How?"

"Almost like a child. But that's impossible, unless it's from the Silver Millennium. Do you think I had a child?"

Haruka's fingers tightened unexpectedly on Michiru's thin shoulders, and the violinist gasped. The stronger senshi pulled away, shocked that she could ever cause Michiru pain. "I'm sorry. I just don't like the thought of you having a husband to have a child with. I can remember a great deal of the Silver Millennium, and I remember being drawn to you even then in a way that our parents found inappropriate for the princesses of two Outer Planet Kingdoms. But I don't remember a child."

Michiru nodded, eyes clouded. "I remember fear for another when I saw you . . . in the final battle, when you were dying, I remember you telling me to run. We knew that our souls were immortal and that we would be reborn, but it's almost like . . . I can't remember, Haruka, and that's what frightens me. We must have blocked out those memories for some reason."

"We? Or did the Queen? Maybe even Pluto, for that is within her domain."

"I wish we could ask her. She did say that if we found the True Messiah . . . but a reunion is too much to hope for." Haruka went silent, content to watch Michiru unpack the rest of her belongings, smiling at the beautiful dresses her girlfriend wore hanging in the closet next to her suits. They were so different, but so very alike . . . A thought popped into her head. "Maybe Usagi-san and her friends could help."

Michiru stopped still, fire in her eyes. "Why are you mentioning her again? I told you that I do not want to go back there."

"Michiru, there must be a reason I keep thinking about that place. We've had dreams before, prophetic dreams; this could be like that."

Michiru crossed her arms over her chest and turned the full, withering force of her gaze upon her "boyfriend". "Ten'ou Haruka, you've had no such dream or you would have said so at first. I don't know why you are so eager to rush back to the battle zone, but we have been able to live fairly normal lives recently and I don't feel like throwing all of that away. If you want to return, go for it, but I am not leaving."


"Enough! And I mean it!" Michiru put her mirror away and stomped past a stunned Haruka, thoroughly and righteously infuriated. A knock at the door caught her attention, and she smiled to find Koshu waiting for her.

"Michiru-san? I came to see if you and Haruka-kun would like to have an early meal with me before your big debut."

"Koshu-kun," Michiru smiled, one of those rare smiles she always reserved for her lover. "Haruka-kun is busy at the moment, but I would love to eat with you."

Koshu peeked past Michiru at the tall woman standing frozen in the center of the room. "He will be ready for the performance?"

"Yes. Come, let's go."

"Michiru," Haruka whispered, but there was no one there to see her heart breaking.

Ten minutes later, Haruka found herself in the smaller dining room, staring into her water and thinking of Michiru.

Michiru smiled at Koshu's jokes, but her mind was elsewhere. What were they really angry about, anyway? They had lasted for so long, through so many horrible battles, and a tiny argument about going back to see the other Soldiers broke them apart. They defied their parents in the Silver Millennium and stayed together until the very end, and now they had defeated death twice. Together. There was no reason to go back, there was no enemy that needed their power to fight. Haruka was just obsessed with Usagi! Michiru ordered herself to calm down as she loosened her furious grip on her drink. Haruka would have shattered the glass. Why was she so reluctant to return?

A scream sounded from the next room, and Michiru, Sailor Neptune, jumped to her feet, shaken free of her tumultuous thoughts. "I have to go," she informed her friend, dashing away, never stopping to let her emotions hold her back. She transformed as soon as she was sure nobody could see her, certain that Uranus was already fighting.

She was wrong.

Haruka, her dearest Haruka, was in the demon's grip, limp and drained. Michiru felt her heart grow cold, and she froze, afraid to attack for fear of hurting the other soldier. She realized at that moment that the fight was all for nothing without Haruka, and her mind flashed back to the image of Eugial holding a gun to Haruka's breast. With that memory came the pain of her death at Eugial's hands, and she cringed from joining the fight. She didn't want to die again! She shouldn't have to die again! Hadn't she given enough futilely defending the Silver Millennium, dying in her beloved's arms, sacrificing the one memorial of their love to the cold and unforgiving winds of time? Michiru's thoughts faltered as the taller Soldier managed to open her eyes and smiled weakly across the room. "You came."

"Of course I came," Neptune whispered, fighting the tears in her eyes and the doubts holding her body back. There were no doubts in her heart. "I don't even really know why I left." The masked demon growled and turned to Neptune, preparing to drain her energy as it had drained the strength of the other guests in the room. With the last of her strength, Haruka kicked the deformed demon, forcing it to drop her to the hard, unforgiving floor, and she did not move again. "Deep Submerge!"

The demon vanished with a scream as its unconscious victims began to groan and Sailor Neptune once more became Kaiou Michiru. She knelt down beside Haruka, scared to death, wanting to know if Haruka was alive or dead but afraid to discover the truth. Her partner opened her eyes, and Michiru breathed a sigh of relief. "Why didn't you fight?"

"Why should I? What do I have to fight for?"

"Oh, Haruka! We'll always have each other, no matter the odds. I'm so very sorry."

"Why are you so opposed to returning, my Michiru? What's wrong?" Michiru turned her head to one side, but Haruka sat up and turned her face back. "Tell me."

"I don't want to lose you again," Michiru whispered. "I couldn't protect you in the final battle of the Silver Millennium and I couldn't kill Eugial to save you in Tokyo. Every time we fight, you die."

"I wasn't really dead, Michiru; Setsuna-san saved us," Haruka whispered, knowing just how to cheer her partner. She caressed her cheek gently, smiling as Michiru's tears stopped. "I died in the Silver Millennium knowing that you and I would be reunited, as we have been. We're both alive and well and together. See? There's no reason to be afraid."

Michiru nodded, wincing as the Aqua Mirror in her pocket screamed. She pulled it out, turning it so that Haruka could see the reflection. As they watched, breathless and unable to help, Sailor Moon jumped off of a floating asteroid, desperately reaching for her falling, unconscious daughter. Sailor Moon transformed into Princess Serenity, and she finally reached the future princess, pulling her into her arms. As the senshi watched, Sailor Chibi Moon opened her eyes, and a golden crystal in their hands called to its guardian. Michiru felt a warm, familiar presence as a bright light collided with the two princesses, giving them wings with which to land. Princess Serenity and the future Princess landed, white dresses fluttering in the breeze, white wings opened wide.

"Safe," Michiru whispered. "I'm so relieved. Now I understand, Haruka; the girls did need us, but they weren't the ones calling you. I think that light, the one that gave them wings, was calling you. It felt so warm, so right. I have to know what it was."

Haruka laughed weakly, covering Michiru's hand with hers. "You want to go back now? You're ready to return to Tokyo?"

"Not Tokyo exactly; I can't explain it, but I think that light is from somewhere else—the dream world, perhaps. We should go there, then we'll return to the girls. I fear that the voice that called you was warning you that Usagi-san and her friends will need us in the very near future."

"I think we can safely wait until tomorrow; we did promise your friend Koshu that we would play for him tonight."

Michiru giggled, relief that her lover was still alive filling her body. "Yes, I suppose we should stay. Usagi-tachi can wait a little while. But I am desperate to know what that light was and what it can reveal to us about our final moments in the Silver Millennium. There's still something missing." She helped Haruka to her feet, whispering her next words. "I thought I might lose you again today. You could have died."

"I'm fine, Michiru, and I wouldn't leave you alone like that. Let's go to our room and change for the performance tonight."

When the two reached their room, Haruka paused, turning to face Michiru. "I hope we're not together because of the fight."

Michiru laughed lightly; with the danger gone her humor had returned. "I'm in it for the adventure, myself. Every day is something new with you, beloved." More seriously, she continued, "I love you, Haruka, and I'm here because you're here."

Haruka smiled. "I love you, my Michiru, and I just want to spend what time I have with you." She kissed her girlfriend, relieved and overjoyed that they were together.

That night no one watching the performance of Ten'ou Haruka and Kaiou Michiru could separate their music; it was one voice with two throats, one heart with two bodies, one soul with two minds. As were they. Forever.

The End