When Remus awoke in the infirmary, he quickly found himself with an armful of Harry Potter, who was clinging to him as though everything depended on him holding Remus.
"You're finally awake. I've been so worried. I'm so sorry I'll never argue with you again."
"Erm, okay but can I have some room to breathe please?" he eventually managed to rasp out. The
result was that Harry loosened his grip somewhat, amidst another torrent of apologies.
"Ah, Professor Lupin, you're awake," said Madam Pomfrey, running her wand over him. When she seemed satisfied, she fixed his pillows, so that he was sat up and gave him some water which relieved some of the dryness in his throat. He ached all over and he noted that while, Harry no longer clung to him, he did hold his hand.
" What happened is that you've scared us all half to death!"
Remus became aware, that the infirmary had filled with concerned faces. Harry also seemed to realise this at about the same time and released his grip somewhat. The loss of that grip caused some conflicting feelings in Remus but he decided to concentrate on what the others were saying.
"Mr. Black is, indeed, quite correct. You gave us all quite a scare. What do you remember?"
"Going to Hogsmeade. There was an attack. Was anyone else hurt?"
"No, only you. Pettigrew chose a rather nasty spell, especially for werewolves. Harry, as you can
see, Professor Lupin will be ok. You look as though you are asleep on your feet, so I suggest you
return to the Gryffindor tower. Remus will still be here when you awaken."
Harry looked rebellious but did as the Headmaster instructed, giving Remus's hand one last squeeze. Remus felt he should say something but his eyes grew heavy and he fell asleep. Waking an unknown time later, he felt someone watching him, turning, his gaze locked with the intense green one of Harry Potter. Not sure of what those eyes were telling him, he said the first thing that came out
"Aren't you supposed to be resting?"
The past week had passed in a daze for Harry. Professor Lupin had been unconscious since the attack and Harry, distraught, had refused to move from his side for anything. Food had been brought to him, but that had been returned mostly uneaten. Dumbledore had been quite correct when he had described the spell used by Pettigrew as nasty and there had been some concern that Remus would not survive.
Now that he had awoken, Harry felt at first relieved and then guilty, fearful that Remus would be angry at him. Harry had reached the conclusion that it would be best if he kept his feelings to himself. Remus wouldn't be interested in someone as immature as him when his gazed locked with the amber gaze of Remus.
"Aren't you supposed to be resting?"
"That was yesterday."
And Remus had to admit that Harry did look fresher then he had the last time he saw him, when he found himself with an armful of Harry once more, a very distraught Harry. The words were garbled as they tumbled out of his mouth, but Remus caught the gist of it and made soothing noises, while he rubbed reassuring circles on his back. Remus found himself being distracted by the scent of Harry but forced himself to concentrate on calming the young man down.
"Harry. It's ok. It's not your fault."
"If I had moved when you told me, instead of fighting with you. When I thought you were going to die, I couldn't bear it and it would be my fault. I always seem to hurt the people I love."
"Harry. You can't take responsibility for everything. I'm ok. Don't worry mph."Before he could finish, Harry's lips had descended onto his. Harry's very nice lips whispered a traitorous part of his mind, caught by surprise, he allowed Harry's tongue access before breaking the embrace. Harry's body language was defensive and he seemed unable to meet Remus's eyes.
"Harry. This has been a very stressful time. I realise you might have been worried, but I think you might be misinterpreting how you feel."
"I'm not. I know how I feel. I've known for months. You hate me."
"You think I'm disgusting."
"Then, why don't you like me?"
"I'm flattered that you think I'm attractive but it's inappropriate. I'm your teacher."
"I was friends with your father. I'm still friends with your godfather, who, by the way, would me kill for this. I'm too old for you"
"Tell that to Hermione and Snape!"
"Hermione and Snape? Anyway, that's not the point. You deserve to have at least one normal experience in your life. You should be with someone your own age."
"I don't want someone my own age and you didn't seem that bothered by Neville and Tonks, so what's your problem now?"
There isn't the same age gap between Neville and Tonks!"
When that appeared to have no effect on Harry, Remus continued,
"Look as you say the press already make your life a misery. Imagine what they'd say, if they knew you were seeing me? A known werewolf!"
"I don't care that you're a werewolf. It doesn't make you any less human."
"Actually, I'm classified as a magical beast, a dark creature, not a human."
"I don't care. The ministry is stupid. You're one of the best people I know. You've always been there for me and I care very much for you. The wolf isn't the only side of you. Just like being the "boy who lived" isn't solely who I am. You've always seen me as Harry."
"Harry, I'm not discussing this any further, as there is nothing more to say." And proceeded to close his eyes. A short while later, he heard footsteps fade away as Harry left the infirmary.
"Taking the cowards way out again Lupin?"
Opening his eyes, Remus found himself face to face with Severus Snape holding a familiar goblet. Noticing his gaze on the goblet, Severus answered, "Modified wolfsbane, you're not strong enough for the usual potion, but this should ease your transformation somewhat."
"You never answered my question!"
"Is it true about you and Hermione?"
"It has been a very emotional time for Harry and Harry, for all he's been through, is a teenager. Teenagers think they're in love at the drop of a hat. He'll be in love with someone else next week and full of embarrassment that he could ever think his old DADA professor was attractive"
"I don't think so. These feelings have been developing all year."
"Right and you know this how? I never imagined you and Harry as bosom buddies."
"We're not but I do still have occlumency lessons with the impertinent brat and while he has improved beyond anything I expected of James Potter's son. I do still get glimpses. Then there's the fact that Hermione confides in me and Harry confides in her. "
"He's not James. Hermione told you that Harry fancied me?"
"I know. Thank Merlin for small mercies. And yes she did. She wanted to know what I thought?"
"What did you say?"
"That you'd be well suited!"
"Thanks for your insights, Severus and the wolfsbane."
The surprise of Snape using his first name caused Remus to open his eyes again.
"These are uncertain times, don't throw away a chance at happiness. You might also be the anchor that Harry needs to help him defeat the dark lord."
Before Remus could respond, Severus had swept from the room, robes billowing around him.
"Moony, for someone who's remarkably lucky that his hide's still relatively intact, you're not looking very happy."
"I had a visitor, well no, I had two and I am beginning to think I have awoken in some alternate universe."
"I'll assume the first visitor was Harry and he's figured out how he feels, but who was the other one?"
"You knew? Since when?"
"I suspected since my visit at Christmas. After you voiced your concerns to me, I kept an eye on your interaction to see if I could figure out what was up. Then all his letters have been about you. It's Remus said this and Remus said that and we did this. Add to that the fact that he hasn't moved from your side since you were brought in! Well? What did you say to him?"
"That it was inappropriate, I'm a werewolf, twice his age and his teacher."
"Not any longer."
"That's what he said. He also told me to voice those objections to Hermione and Snape."
"Hermione and Snape?" Remus was almost amused at Sirius's reaction to the thought of those two together.
"That's exactly the kind of reaction people would have to Harry and I being together."
"You're not a greasy git like Snape!"
"No I'm a werewolf, which is much worse in many people's estimation."
"I notice, you didn't say that you don't have feelings for him."
"I'm too old for him. Harry hasn't had a lot of experience in relationships. A week down the line, he might change his mind."
"And he mightn't. Harry isn't your average teenager."
"But he does deserve, at least, one thing normal in his life and a werewolf as a partner isn't it! I've resigned myself to the fact that, relationships aren't for me. I'm meant to be alone and that's it. I'm too old. I can't put myself through that pain again."
"Out of all the people I've met, I can most definitely say, that you are not meant to be alone and Harry's a Potter. You know what they're like when they set their mind on something. Remember James and Lily."
"I do and I'm not Lily."
"And Harry's not James but I don't think he's imagining what he feels for you."
"You're taking the fact that, your godson propositioned your werewolf friend very well. Where are the threats of eternal pain and castration?"
"Stop trying to change the subject. I think you could make Harry happy but if you do hurt him, they will still be looking for pieces of you in the next century."
Two weeks later, once he had recovered from his transformation, Madam Pomfrey decided he was well enough to go back to his rooms to recuperate, provided that was all he did. Harry had not visited again and Remus felt unable to ask for him. He wasn't sure what he would say. Severus, Sirius and Albus had taken to nagging him regarding this.
The journey to his rooms had never felt so difficult, but with Sirius's help, he eventually reached his rooms.
"I thought Madam Pomfrey said you were better?"
"What she said that there was no need to for me to take up an infirmary bed, when I could get the rest I require to get better in my rooms!"
"When are you going to talk to Harry?"
"I've seen Hermione and Albus with their heads together and you know the kind of plan Albus can come up with! Imagine how much worse he'll be with Hermione conspiring with him!"
"I've been ill. Poppy said I wasn't to have any stress."
"I think you'll recuperate much faster if you talk to Harry."
Once he had Remus settled in his bed, Sirius went in search of his godson. Finding him in the library wasn't as much of a surprise as it might once have been. His appearance though caused a pang of concern to run through Sirius. Pale with dark bruise like shadows around his eyes, it appeared that Harry had not had enough rest in quite some time.
"The exams are finished, you know. I don't think studying now will affect your grades!"
"Yeah. No I've made a fool of myself and now he hates me and we won't even be friends I'm so stupid"
"He doesn't hate you. You just backed him into a corner and Remus hates being backed into a corner. It doesn't matter what you're suggesting then, it could be rice for dinner and he still wouldn't agree. Why don't you go and see him?"
"I don't know."
"Go. He could use the company."
"He has loads of company."
"Pomfrey released him from the infirmary today. He's in his rooms alone."
"Do you really think he wants to see me?"
"Yes, now go. Shoo."
"I'll pack them. I have been in a library before you know."
"Really, I never would have guessed!"
Harry ran the whole way to Remus's rooms, but when he reached the door, he felt incredibly nervous and couldn't bring himself to knock. He wondered if Remus had changed his password to keep him out.
"I thought Gryffindors were known for their bravery."
Whirling round, Harry found himself face to face with Professor Snape who knocked briskly before just walking in anyway.
"Look what I found lurking outside."
"Harry." Inexplicably Remus felt far happier then he had since their confrontation in the infirmary. Handing over the goblet in his hands, Severus left. Awkward silence reigned. Remus was trying to formulate a sentence when Harry started apologising
"I'm sorry, I've been so childish, thinking only of what I wanted. I'm sorry. I hope we can at least be friends."
"I think I've been the childish one. Refusing to acknowledge what was right in front of me because it scared me to leave someone get that close again. It's easier to have everyone as friends or acquaintances. Less chance of getting hurt that way."
"Really. Can you forgive for being an idiot?"
"Only if you leave me kiss you."
"I think I can live with that."
This time when Harry kissed him, there was no struggling and it was the need for air which caused them to cease.
"I see now why people thought I was so odd for worrying about having things to talk about. This is much more fun."
"This is only a small bit of it," murmured Remus nuzzling Harry's neck. Harry had to admit he liked the fact that Remus was taller then him.
Looking into Harry's rather starting green eyes Remus found himself admitting" I don't know how I ever resisted you."
"You weren't meant too. Idiot. You were meant to swoon into my arms." Replied Harry with a slight pout which was spoiled by the smile which wouldn't leave his face.
Remus laughed at Harry's expression which turned into a yawn he tried to stifle.
"Perhaps I should leave you to rest."
"I don't need rest. I've had loads these past few weeks, but if you insist I think I'd rest a lot better if you stayed here with me."
"And when you've rested, perhaps you could do some of the unspeakable naughty things, I dreamed of you doing to me."
"You've had dreams of me?"
"Yeah but I don't think the dream Remus has anything on you!"
"Really for one thing he didn't make that noise."
That one, and he definitely didn't do that."
"Indeed. What's else didn't he do?"
Some time later
" I don't think Pomfrey would call that resting!"
"Maybe not, but I feel much better."
"Goodnight, love. Sweet dreams."
"I don't need dreams, I've got you."