Disclaimer: I own nothing, damnit!
Part 1: Sir Chocobo and her Lady Stupidness
'Special' people are attracted to other, sometimes, 'even more special-er people'. It's an unwritten rule or something, I guess. Well, before I go on rambling like one of those 'special' people, I shall tell you what I am here to say.
First off, you may be wondering who I may be. I am Seymour Guado, former maester of Yevon and now bored inhabitant of the farplane. Second, my tale is about a whole group of 'special' people, all of which I shall describe to you from a 'non-special' person's point of view. I'm embrassed to say that these very people were the ones to send me to my current residence. My story is about a young summoner and her guardians, and oh, are they 'special'! This summoner's name is Yuna.
Today, I wish to discuss her and the guardian closes to her. I have decided to name this guardian--- who cares what his real name is--- Sir Chocobo ---come on, his hair is very reminiscent of a chocobo, for goodness sake! Sir Chocobo claimed to be from Zanarkand, a city which has been dead for nearly 1000 years. Personally, I believe he is the most 'special-est' person to ever exist and that is truly saying something.
For those of you who have not experienced the 'pleasure' of meeting this young man, he can only be described as a Cali-surfer dude who much resembles a chocobo and has been hit up-side his 'special' little head with a blitzball one too may times. Maybe it's just me but---hell, no it's not just me--- he is a first class moron! To think, Yuna chose him over ME?!
That brings me to my next point, the lady summoner herself, Yuna. She is the daughter of high summoner Braska who defeated Sin 10 years ago. I had the pleasure of meeting him on occasion and all he talked about was his precious little girl. I had finally gotten the chance to meet her personally and let me tell you, what a let down! Not only is she annoying, she's dumb as a rock---no, that's an understatement--- let's try, as dumb as a mountain! I know that sounds lame but she is! When ever she looks up at me with those blue and green eyes I just get the urge to hit her. Maybe a few knocks upside the head will do the girl some good. I shall let you in on a little secret; during our wedding---oh god, don't remind me, please---when she jumped off the edge of the building I only looked over the side to see if she hit the ground yet. Damn was I disappointed!
As for her other guardians, you shall have to wait until another day. There are so many things to say and so little time. Well, that's not true, I have all the time in the universe seeing as I have nothing better to do here in the Farplane. Join me again and I shall tell you of Yuna's cousin---yes I know, there are more like her--- and the other bitz obsessed guardian of hers. The one with the vertical red hair, I don't remember his name. Farewell for now.
A/N: Yeah, I had nothing better to do in class than pick on characters. Flame me all you wish, I don't really care. If you want, I'll—well Seymour---will continue on. I planed on doing Rikku and Wakka next but after that it'll get hard. What to write about Lulu and Auron? Maybe I can write about Braska and Jecht or something. Oh well, whatever.