Greetings one and all to my newest fiction! This bit of useless fluff popped into my head as I was reading other fics, attempting to gain enough inspiration to continue on my Labyrinth fic (when that was still pending). Instead, I got this. Anyways, this will be a...(sob)...many chaptered...fic. I had some trouble writing Cyborg's character, so be gentle. Does Starfire know about a supermarket? Probably. Do I care? Not really. Otherwise, have fun and enjoy the fic! (Slight editing to this story around end of April of the two thousandth and fifth year...)

Huge thanks to Rain-chan, Curry and Kani-chan on this. Without either of them, no one, not even I, would be reading this. Their screen names are CrazyGirl47, Tkay and Peacebunnie (respectively). People should read their stuff!

Disclaimer: I own...not the Teen Titans.


"Grocery day is a very dangerous day." -Rocko's Modern Life


The sound of a stomach growling echoed in the room. A fairly listless Beast Boy poked his head up far enough over the back of the couch so he could see. "Dude, are you sure there's no food?"

Half man, half machine, Cyborg stomped around in the kitchen, checking the cupboards and warily poking around the blue fuzz that covered the inside of the fridge for what would be the third time, answered. "I done told you, there's nothing edible. Unless you want to try the fungus in the fridge."

Disappearing from view again, Beast Boy hefted a sigh. "I'll pass. I'd starve first."

"We could just go for pizza."

A monotonous voice entered the conversation from behind a large tome. "Ugh, no." Raven lowered the book so her voice wouldn't be muffled. "We've had pizza every night this week- and last week. One wonders why we actually buy other types of food..." Raven paused for a moment, re-thinking her comment, shook her head, then continued. "But I'm getting sick of pizza."

"I almost hate to admit it, but I think I agree with you there, Raven." Cyborg slammed the refrigerator door shut as the blue fuzz started to writhe and reach for his human flesh.

Yet another voice joined the conversation from the table. "I have heard of a place called a 'go celery store'. Perhaps we could traverse there?"

The other Titans stared. "...Go celery store?" Beast Boy voiced his confusion by repeating Starfire's unique choice of words.

"Yes, I believe it is a place that sells nourishment that we all desperately need."

Raven was the first to make the connection. "Oh, you mean a grocery store."

Cyborg blinked. "We knew that."

"Dude, I can't even remember the last time I've BEEN to a grocery store. Who bought all the food before?"

Everyone was silent, exchanging confused glances and shrugs.

"I think it was Robin..." Raven trailed off, having no actual proof of her accusation.

Finally dragged into the conversation, Robin, who had been sitting next to Starfire the entire time, rose from his seat. "Titans, I think it's time we stop avoiding this. It had to happen sooner or later. Each of you, prepare a list. Tonight, we eat pizza, for lack of anything else, but tomorrow," Robin's eyes narrowed, "we're going grocery shopping."

It was Cyborg who spoke up after the heavy silence. "Uh, Rob? Don't you think that was a little over the top?"

"Why we? Do we all have to go?"

Robin turned to Raven. "I think we should, that way everyone can get what they want or need, and no one can get blamed for forgetting anything."

"I'm all over that!" Cyborg rallied. "Finally, I'm getting me some real food!" Beast Boy could be heard muttering something, presumably unflattering, about processed meats.

"I do not understand. I thought the food we had beforehand was of the real kind. Were we tricked into eating unreal food?"

"Ha! I don't think you could even call what BB eats food at all!"

Sitting up, Beast Boy glared at Cyborg. "Hell-O! I'm sitting right here!"

Cyborg turned to Beast Boy. "I know."

Ignoring the argument that had been started, Robin resumed his seat and shook his head. "Don't worry about it Star. It's just an expression."

"You mean like potatoing the couch?"

"...yeah."

"Ohhh..." Starfire smiled widely. "I understand." Throwing her arms up in the air, Starfire cheered. "What a glorious day tomorrow shall be! Traversing to the go celery store with my friends to gather real nourishment!"


Around 10 A.M. the following morning, the five Titans stood before the largest supermarket any of them had ever seen. It was fairly empty judging by the parking lot and tumbleweeds, enabling them to get parking close to the doors. They all stood, staring at the massive sign above the door, showing off to the world that the market was a part of a chain called The Ultimate Grab.

"Why do we all stand out here and gaze upon the opening? Is this some form of Earthen ritual before purchasing nourishment I am yet unaware of?"

Starfire's questioning snapped everyone back to their own personal realities. Casting an awkward glance to his teammates, Robin sucked in a breath, Starfire doing the same to make sure she was doing everything right, and Robin entered the massive store, the others following him.

Just inside the automatic doors, the team stopped again, pausing to take in the chaotic arrangement of shelves, freezers and coolers. The place was vast, but not large enough to be a warehouse. Starfire breathed deeply again and ascended into the air.

"Oh, how joyous! It smells positively wonderful in here! Who would have thought that gathering nourishment would tingle the senses so?" That being said, Starfire proceeded to twirl in mid-air.

If they hadn't already been receiving stares, they would have been receiving them now. Many of the patrons and cashiers were whispering amongst themselves, some were even ruder and pointed. One small child said very loudly "Look Mommy! Superheroes!"

Turning to everyone, Robin asked the seemingly innocent question, "So, where should we go first?"

"Meat aisle!"

"Dude, no. I am not going to stare down processed meats so you can practice being a carnivore! It's like watching someone thinking about eating your brother or something!" Shuddering violently, Beast Boy gagged.

"I do not understand. Why would someone want to eat your brother?" Starfire looked somewhat distressed as she returned to the ground.

Raven sighed. "Is this really necessary?"

"You think I'm gonna stick around while you decide how firm you want your damn bean curd?" Cyborg bent over some so he could stare the changeling in the face.

"You're just one of the reasons cows are pulled into slavery!"

"Friends, let us not argue on an occasion such as this! Perhaps we could all journey through the store of nourishment at our own pace so we may get what we desire and have no one watch if they so not choose to?"

Everyone turned and looked at Starfire, who looked back.

Robin, quickly replacing something in his utility belt, smiled at Starfire. "Actually, that's a pretty good idea, Starfire." Turning back to everyone else, he continued. "We'll all split up and meet in front of the register lines when we get done. Agreed?"

Random mutterings of "yeah", "sure", "okay" and "glorious" met his ears as the Titans wandered in their own separate directions, Beast Boy attempting to follow Raven nonchalantly as she picked up a hand basket, Cyborg heading towards the back of the store, and Starfire lingered next to Robin.

Glancing at Starfire, Robin pulled a cart out from it's parking area. "Aren't you going to look around, Star?"

"While this place is most intriguing, I would much rather view it together. Is that...acceptable, Robin?"

Smiling, Robin replied, "Sure." Robin paused at the magazine rack and picked up an issue of Good Housekeeping. Starfire, of course, copied him, picking more at random. Opening it, her expression became confused. She held the magazine up and looked at it closely. She turned it on its side, upside-down, then returned it to its correct position.

"Friend Robin, I have a question of great importance."

Walking over, Robin stopped beside her. "What is it, Star?"

Thrusting the magazine into his face, Starfire continued. "While most earth beings I have seen have different builds, all of the humans in this flimsy book are all the same. Could they be the same girl? If not, are they malnourished? And why is there an apparent lack of much needed clothing?"

Robin could simply swallow and stare.

"What is it Robin? Why do you stare so intently and yet so blank?" Starfire waved a hand in front of his face. "Are you ill?" Starfire pulled the magazine back to study the model spread out on one of the pages. "Do these visions produce such results in the people of your planet?"

Pulling the magazine from her hands, Robin did his best to keep visions of a certain red-head out of his mind, since they were pushing in the worst (?) direction possible thanks to one picture from a magazine. He was getting uncomfortable enough, making him insanely glad they were in public. Setting the magazine back on the rack, and shoving a more...appropriate teen magazine into her hands, Robin replied. "Sometimes. But not always."

"Do you..." Starfire thought for a moment, scanning the cover of the new magazine, "...sometimes?"

Panicking, Robin looked around wildly before spotting a sign. "Hey, there's a sale on creamed corn!" With that, the Boy Wonder bolted, leaving Starfire to stare at his dust trail. Without a second thought, Starfire flew after him.

"Friend Robin, as curious as I am about corn of creamy nature, you have yet to respond to my question!"


Humming as he walked towards the back of the store, Cyborg found himself reading the staggering amount of sale signs around him. The ugly red sale signs looked more like they belonged in a clothing store rather than a supermarket, but that was solely based on opinion. He almost didn't notice when a cane gently tapped him on the leg. Looking around, then down some, he was greeted with the face of a small, old woman, who smelled very strongly of lavender and Ben Gay.

"Excuse me young man, can you help me get something?"

Blinking, Cyborg relaxed a bit. "Sure. What do you need?"

"On the top shelf, the bran cereal." As Cyborg reached for the product, the lady continued talking. "You would think they'd be a little more considerate. I've yet to meet one young person who eats that bran, even in muffins, and they place it on the top shelf. Normally I'd just knock it down with my cane, but my joints have been aching for some reason."

"It's alright ma'am," Cyborg replied, handing her the box of bran. Taking it, the lady stepped closer to Cyborg, peering through slitted eyes.

"My, aren't you a large boy. Strange clothes though," she chuckled as Cyborg simply stood there, confused. "My name is Eliza Smith, but most people just call me Granny. Say, sonny, you're not attached are you?"

Eyes growing impossibly wide, Cyborg began edging away. "I dunno, I have a few...prospects lined up...yeah..."

Rooting through her monster of a purse, Granny Smith, wallet in hand, turned back to him. "I have a few pictures of my granddau-...hm?" Granny looked around the aisle. Cyborg was nowhere to be seen.


"Canned, sweet, yellow, cream-style corn has 184 calories? Who knew?" Robin read the back label of the can like it was the most interesting thing in the world. "One gram of total fat...no cholesterol...hey! It's a good source of vitamin C!" Robin held the can up as if he were advertising it, his smile so cheesy it was obvious it was fake. He ignored the stares the other anonymous patron was giving him.

Not noticing how out of character Robin was acting at that moment, Starfire floated closer, confusion clouding her eyes. "Robin, what is wrong? Have I said anything displeasing or distasteful for you to refrain from answering my question?"

"But such a high sodium level..." Robin muttered. "Well, this is 184 calories that won't go straight to your thighs..." Setting the can back on the shelf, Robin began to inspect the canned tomatoes sitting next to the corn.

"I believe, Robin, what you are doing right now is something you Earth beings like to call stalling. Why do you stall?"

"I'm not stalling. Why would I be stalling? Hey, green beans!"

"Robin!"

Sighing, Robin sat the can of green beans back on the shelf. "Okay, Star. I'll explain it to you. When a mommy and daddy love each other very much..."


Beast Boy was becoming bored, since the tofu was in fact, not stocked nearby, and instead of looking for it elsewhere, he simply decided to follow Raven some more.

Stopping suddenly by a gigantic stand offering M&Ms (two for the price of one), something clicked in his head. Removing a package from the stand, he looked around and saw Raven at the end of the aisle, apparently having a staring contest with the instant coffees. Practically skipping down to the gothic teen, Beast Boy stopped beside her, and held up the bag of M&Ms in front of Raven and waved it to get her attention.

Turning slightly, Raven sighed. "What?"

In his most suave voice, Beast Boy replied. "Do you know what they say about the green ones, Rae?"

Silent for a moment, Raven stared at Beast Boy before responding. "Please. That has to be the cheesiest thing you've ever said." Raven brushed past him. "And don't call me Rae."

"What? I thought I was being witty and charming!"

Choosing now to ignore him completely, Raven moved further away, where the vast collection of teas were stocked. Looking through the selection, she picked up a box, looking at it closer.

Maybe I'll go with Green Chai this ti- wait. Green? Raven took a sidelong look at the changeling, who was unconsciously munching on M&Ms. Setting the box back down, she picked another quickly. Yeah...Egyptian Licorice Mint sounds good... Quickly dropping two boxes of the tea into her hand basket, Raven walked quickly from the aisle, hoping Beast Boy wouldn't notice her hasty exit. But luck just wasn't being a lady for her.


"But Robin," Starfire hovered next to the Boy Wonder as they wheeled down another aisle. "I do not quite understand. How would viewing pictures of such nature cause humans to want to have children?"

Robin paused, looking around the grocery store for inspiration. There had to be something...wait. "Look Star, mustard!"

Finally, the magazine and everything involved was instantly forgotten as Starfire's eyes lit up at the sight of her favorite...beverage. Hovering over, Starfire couldn't help but squeal. "It is most wonderful! Who knew there were so many flavors! And sizes as well!" Pulling containers from the shelf, she spared a glance at the label before sending it into the cart with alarming accuracy. Robin relaxed against the cart, relief flooding him. He wasn't sure if he could have handled the interrogation about the magazine any longer. Glaring slightly at the teen magazine that sat in the child seat of the shopping cart, Robin was so lost in thought he almost didn't hear Starfire when she began talking again.

"Friend Robin, are you aware that mustard was made in what was called 'as early as 42 AD' of your Earth years? Places called Greece and Rome -Beer 'n Brat? I am unsure as to what a brat is, but I am sure it is quite tasty!- had not yet used it as a food of source..."

Amazed would be what Robin was at that point. He could simply stare and listen as Starfire rattled on about the history of mustard, in her unique speech pattern, no less.

He almost hated to interrupt her. "Hey Star?" Starfire's face turned slowly to him, her face misaligned in her joy.

"Yes?"

"I just remembered we need cleaning supplies, mostly for the fridge. I'll be right back, okay? Oh...and Star? I don't think our fridge is that big."

Looking into the cart, Starfire blushed when she saw the fifteen bottles and jars of mustard. "Perhaps you are right, Robin. I shall choose only one more. Is this acceptable?"

Not wanting to press his luck after the whole magazine fiasco, Robin nodded. "Yeah, sure."

As Robin disappeared from the aisle, Starfire looked back at the mustards. "But how shall I choose only once more?" Distressed, Starfire sat. Immediately, her eyes lit on the large, five gallon jug of mustard, sitting innocently near the back of the bottom shelf, the last of its kind until restocked.


"Hey Rae!"

Sighing, Raven grudgingly replied. "What?"

"What did the head trauma patients do when the price of medicine went up?"

"Who cares."

Undaunted, either that or he just didn't hear Raven, Beast Boy continued his joke. "They went on stroke!" Beast Boy howled with laughter as Raven just rolled her eyes.

"Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows?"

"No, but I'm sure you'll tell me."

"They're making headlines!" More insane laughter followed as Raven ground her teeth. Maybe if she didn't answer him, he'd stop. He might even stop following her. Unfortunately, Beast Boy was pretty stubborn, if not stupid.

"Why are elephants big, wrinkled, gray, and hairy?"

Gritting her teeth, Raven refused to answer.

"Because if they were small, smooth, white, and hairless, they'd be aspirin tablets!" More laughter. Raven could swear he was changing into a hyena, just so he could laugh like he was. An entire rack of bread burst open due to Raven's heightening annoyance as they passed the aisle.

"What's the difference between a mosquito and a fly?"

Silent for a moment, Raven stooped to answer him. "A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito."

"Dude, no way! You've heard that one before!"

Raven snarled. "Stop following me!"

"Hey Rae, why does a chicken coop have only two doors?"

Clinching her hands into fists, Raven fought to stay calm as bags of chips from a neighboring aisle burst open and slid off the shelves, spilling onto the floor. Breath in, breath out. Azarath metrion zinthos, azarath metrion zinthos...

"If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan!"

No longer able to handle it, Raven turned on Beast Boy. "I warned you to stop following me." Holding her hands up, Raven began to chant. "Azarath metrion ZINTHOS!"

Beast Boy stared in horror as three cans popped from the tower, then relaxed "Only three cans?" He didn't notice the pyramid of canned beans shake ominously until it collapsed on top of him.

Lowering her hands, Raven sighed as she ignored Beast Boy's muffled cries of pain. "See what annoying gets you? And don't call me Rae." With a flourish of her cloak, Raven walked away.


Eyes narrowed, Robin poked through the cleaning supplies, trying to ignore the feminine products to one side, the horrible smell, and the large package of toilet paper at his feet. Finally deciding on about three bottles of Clean-it-NOW! and a package of sponges, he collected everything and started on his way back.

"Ohmigod! Lea, it's ROBIN!" The named superhero froze, fear clutching him.

A second voice joined the first. "You mean spike-haired, awesome-moved, skintight uniform, only in my fantasies Robin? That Robin!" Silence. "Amber, touch him and make sure we aren't seeing things!"

Panicking, Robin took off in a dead run. Being fan girls, the two pre-teens started after him.

"Come back! I just want to touch your cape!"

"What shoe size do you wear!"

"Can I see your belt!" A muffled screech sounded. "Not like that, I promise!"

Unaccustomed to running after an athletic superhero, the two girls fell behind, but that didn't slow Robin any. Turning down an aisle, thankfully the one he was aiming for, Robin raced past the cart, dropping everything in.

Starfire, to say the very least, was baffled. "Robin? Why are you-"

"Can'ttalk, berightback!" Robin exited from the other end of the aisle. Starfire merely shook her head.

Unfortunately for Robin, he took a turn down the chip aisle, slipping on the snack-laden floor. Screaming, he crashed into the employee, who was sweeping up the chips. He didn't have time to move, Robin's scream being his only warning. If he had been watching, Robin could have seen the guy's eyes dilate right before he hit.

"Hey!" the employee snapped, shoving himself off of Robin. "Can't you watch where you're GOING!"

"Do you have to sweep in the middle of the aisle!" Robin bit back, jumping up. Pulling his bo-staff from his utility belt, he extended it and used it to clear the rest of the aisle, just in time for the two girls to spot their quarry. They alerted him to his presence with a squeal of his name.

He bolted, but this time they were quicker. Robin found himself backed into the dairy coolers, at the mercy of the two fan girls.


"I had to re-stack an entire tower of beans, no thanks to you!"

Raven glanced at Beast Boy, who had managed to find her again, and apparently the tofu. "I told you to stop following me."

"Dude, I kinda had to! It wasn't as if I knew where they stocked tofu, I've never actually purchased it anywhere except through take-out!" Beast Boy's arms waved wildly, the object(s) of his affection that filled the hand basket defying gravity as he did so. "It could have been anywhere I 'followed you'!"

"You found your tofu fine on your own. It's still no excuse for following me."

"Following you? I-" Beast Boy stopped suddenly as he ran straight into Raven. "Wha? Why'd you stop-"

"Shhh." Raven pulled back so she was hidden from view by the aisle, then pointed in the direction she was looking. "Watch." Poking in beside Raven, Beast Boy looked, seeing their leader, Robin backed into the dairy, being begged by two girls, both looking like they were almost in their teens. Robin, however, did not look happy.

"Pleeease?" The girls' voices were annoyingly high, especially since they decided to drag the word out.

"No." Robin grimaced.

"Pretty, pretty please? We promise to go away if you say it!"

"Doesn't matter, I'm not going to say it."

Their whining continued, Robin merely gritted his teeth and covered his ears to block the ever heightening sound out. Needless to say, it didn't work. Turning, he walked the opposite direction, forcing Beast Boy and Raven to dive behind a nearby stand of Good-a-licious snacks as the Boy Wonder hurried past, the two girls following him like a single unit. The two Titans watched until they disappeared around the corner.

"Hey, look, Yellow Cream Sticks!" Beast Boy held up a box of the yellow, cream filled snack cakes.

"Forget the yellow things, you idiot!" Raven paused. "We should follow them."

Looking oddly at Raven, Beast Boy set the box back on the shelf and looked at Raven suspiciously. "Uhhh...why?"

"Don't you want to know what they asked him?"

"Well..." Beast Boy suddenly leapt fully to his feet. "Wait, don't tell me YOU'RE just as curious as I am!"

"Then I won't," came Raven's curt reply. She grabbed Beast Boy's arm and pulled him in the direction Robin had escaped.


"Peanut...butter..." Starfire read from the label. She had grown tired of waiting for Robin and instead went looking for him. But every so often, which was quite often, she would stop to look closer at something, which would inevitably end up in the cart. And aside from the bright yellow of the mustards (especially the five gallon jug) sticking out like an owl during noon, she was shopping as if she had done it for years. If you were deaf.

"A thick paste made out of nuts? I think I recall something of this sort residing in the cupboards. But I fear this...chunky style...would not work with straws. We shall purchase the creamy." Setting the jar of peanut butter into the cart, Starfire wheeled along, humming something that sounded suspiciously like "The Twelve Days of Christmas". She turned down the cereal aisle and spotted Cyborg near the other end. Waving to him, she called out. "Cyborg!"

Grateful someone had a cart, Cyborg lunged over and dropped his various cuts of meat into the cart. "Thanks Star."

"I welcome you."

Passing a glance over the food inside the cart, Cyborg spoke again. "Have you been shopping by yourself?"

"For some time, yes. I was with Robin, until he went to retrieve items to disperse the mold within our refrigerator. After that, he ran by, dropped all the things he had within the cart, and I have not seen him since."

"Mm-hmm. Star, is that a five gallon tub of mustard?" Lifting the package of toilet paper up, he just stared oddly at the random types of mustard hidden under the plushy softness of the rolls.

"Indeed it is!" Pausing, Starfire looked at Cyborg oddly as he backed away, looking both ways before he crossed back to the shelf opposite to where Starfire stood, smiling as if to say "No no, nothing's wrong! I like standing like this, smiling stupidly! Really!"

"If I may ask, friend Cyborg, why do you stand with your back to the shelf and continue to look down the aisle?"

Glancing back and forth, Cyborg stammered. "No reason." His eyes swept the aisle again. Starfire found herself doing the same thing on impulse.

"Is there something wrong, Cyborg? You are not acting as Cyborg should. Are you unwell?"

Back and forth went the eyes, which meant his head was involved since his cybernetic eye couldn't move back and forth like his human eye could. "Star...I think I'm being stalked by a grandma."

A voice came out of nowhere. "You mean me?"

Cyborg let out a startled "Eeep!" before jumping into Starfire's arms. Granny Smith chuckled a little.

"So, was this one of the prospects you were speaking of?" she asked shamelessly, pointing her cane at Starfire.

"Creepy old lady! Did you just crawl out from the shelves!" Cyborg screeched, clutching Starfire like a lifeline.

Giggling, Granny Smith approached the two, Cyborg somehow managing to crawl behind Starfire, trying to hide. "You look like a big strong man... "Rifling yet again through her purse, Granny Smith pulled out her wallet. "I bet my granddaughter- where'd he go?"

Yes, Cyborg had fled yet again. Starfire giggled a little. "Forgive him. Cyborg seems to be acting unnatural. I am lead to believe he thinks you...'stalks' him."

Granny Smith, upon hearing this, let loose a shrill, almost maniacal laugh. "Oh, is that all? Well, I'll leave him alone then. You, miss, would you like to see a picture of my granddaughter instead?"

Smiling, Starfire shook her head. "As much as I would enjoy to, I must find another of my friends. Farewell old woman that strikes fear into Cyborg's heart!"


Beast Boy and Raven were still following the Boy Wonder and his fans. The silence was apparently getting to Beast Boy, because he started on a huge tirade, trying to think of what the girls had asked Robin to say.

"They could have asked him if he liked lime gelatin better than orange! Or if the Wayne mansion really had its own arcade! Or if he ever stole the Batmobile!"

"To do what?" Raven commented on the last bit. Inside her mind Happy laughed hysterically, Wisdom shook her head and hid behind her book, Timid blushed fiercely and Courage attempted to act out what Raven was thinking with Rage, who didn't like it one bit. Raven pulled her hood up to hide her reddening face. Just where WAS her mind tonight, anyways?

Snickering, Beast Boy began giving another suggestion. "Maybe they-"

Using her powers, Beast Boy's mouth snapped shut. "Beast Boy, don't even try to say it." Silence passed for about a minute. When Raven seemed convinced Beast Boy would at least remain somewhat quiet, she released him.

"I was just going to say maybe they asked him if his cape was polyester or from a thrift store or if his mom made it for him?"

Raven looked a bit sheepish. "...oh."

"What did you think I was going to say, Rae?"

"Nothing. Come on, we might lose them. And don't call me Rae."

Lowering themselves so they couldn't be seen over the stands of fruit, Raven and Beast Boy crept closer, hiding behind the closest stand so they could hear. Robin had been backed into yet another corner, against the produce and stacked cubes of Pepsi. Heaving a sigh, he stood, an image of defeat. "Fine. I'll say it -once. You got that?"

Both girls squealed. "Yes, Robin, master of our universe!"

Nearly loosing her balance, Raven reached out and gripped the cardboard in front of her. Beast Boy was indignant. "Hey, where's MY hoard of fan girls?"

"I would hardly call that a hoard," Raven commented, almost idly.

Striking a pose, Robin looked at the food produce near his hand. His eye began twitching as he mused how ironic it was before he gave himself up to fate. "Holy celery stalks, Batman! He nearly foiled us!"

Crashing into Raven as the two fangirls squealed -loudly- both titans were sent to the floor as the two girls ran off, leaving Robin to collect whatever shreds of dignity he had left. Glaring at the two who had been spying on him, he made no move towards them, and no words were spoken. He just glared threateningly, which was pretty effective, seeing as how it was being done with a mask.

"Get off me," Raven wheezed at Beast Boy, "before I make you."

As soon as Beast Boy and Raven had righted themselves, Robin let out a long breath. "Neither of you," he began, voice low, "are to mention what just happened to anyone. Ever."


Strolling by the deli with the cart laden with random food, cleaning supplies and several different "flavors" of mustard, Starfire paused her search for Robin, her attention caught yet again.

Approaching the tank of lobsters, she peered in, watching one of the more active ones crawl across the others that lined the bottom of the slowly clouding, bubbling water.

"Oh, they have an aquarium!" Turning to the man behind the deli counter, Starfire addressed him. "I must say, this store is most wonderful! The aquarium, though it holds only one animal, it is quite lovely."

Raising an eyebrow at her, the deli man laughed. "Aquarium? Right. You want to know what those are for?" Starfire nodded.

As they say, curiosity killed the cat.

"We sell them to customers."

"As pets?"

"As food! They take them and put them into pots of boiling water. They say you can hear them scream when you put them in."

Eyes wide in horror, Starfire stared at the man behind the counter. "No... you must be lying... they boil these poor creatures ALIVE!"

The man shrugged it off. "People do it all the time." Suddenly, his voice turned suggestive. "By the way, what're you doing this Friday night?"

Eyes glowing green, righteous fury flowed through Starfire's veins as starbolts appeared in her hands.


The beeping on their communicators made the three jump almost in unison. Opening his, Robin was greeted by Cyborg's visage as Beast Boy and Raven, rather than use their own, crowded around Robin to see what was going on. "What is it, Cy?"

"I'm not sure how it happened, but Star started going ballistic around the deli meats and has her own little army of lobsters, if you can believe it. With all her shouts about freedom, you'd think she was Mel Gibson."

"Can't you calm her down?"

"I tried, man. When I found her, she had broken open the lobster tank and a few holes in the walls. The only way I got her to stop firing her starbolts was to tell her she might hit her crustacean friends. She's still pretty upset though, and for some reason keeps calling the unconscious guy behind the deli counter a glempork."

"Since when did Starfire become an animal rights activist?" Raven mused. Neither her nor Robin could help at least glancing at Beast Boy.

"Yeah, suuure, blame the CHANGLING, just because he won't eat meat because he turns INTO those animals." Beast Boy's arms flailed, giving the impression of a chicken, before turning into one and pecking at Robin's feet, squawking angrily.

"We'll be there in a sec, Cy." Grimacing, Robin put his communicator away and delivered a swift kick to the chicken at his feet. Hitting the wall, Beast Boy changed back, rubbing his head.

"Geez, dude, what was THAT for?" Robin didn't answer, just simply walked away.

"I think he's still mad about the 'Holy Batman' thing," Raven replied, amazingly giving Beast Boy a hand up.

"Then why didn't he kick you too?"

"Beast Boy, would you?" Raven's voice deadpanned, a "duh" hanging off of every word. Leaving the changeling behind, Raven followed Robin. Beast Boy wasn't too far behind though, suddenly revitalized with the idea he could save another animal...from being someone's dinner.


It's truly amazing what you can find on Google. Thanks to the best search engine on the web, I was able to just look up the nutritional values of creamed corn instead of rooting around my... "kitchen" ...for it, and the history of mustard! And I know Cyborg wasn't very prominent. I'm glad I got him in there at all, because it's unfair to leave any character out. Stay tuned for chapter two! Kudos!