Wow, it's lovely disclaimer/author notes time! I don't own any of this. Heck, even the title and subtitles are Duo Maxwell songs from Gundam Wing. Anyway, the characters are real people, and I have permission to write them into this. Wanna check out their stuff?
Lady Sekmet – http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=51911
Bleumoon – Fan, but not a fanfiction writer
Venka le fay – http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=31194
Aqua – no YST/RW fanfiction
Sakura – She's the only one who isn't a real person. *cough* I got impatient.
It's So All Right!
~Good Luck and Goodbye
In a small dark room, a teenage girl sat staring at a computer screen. The computer was, in fact, the only light source in the room. The rest of the furnishings – a dresser, a bed, piles of taped-off Samurai Troopers and Ronin Warriors – looked eerie in the mild glow. The girl simply sat, oblivious to all, blinking at the screen. Word was pulled up, white and clean and simply begging to be written on. She put one hand on the keyboard and idly pressed a few keys.
"ttyhuhgpi89." She studied it for a moment, frowning in concentration. "Not the best opening line I've ever written…" she sighed, hitting the delete key. Writer's block was of the devil, she decided irritably. She bit down on a stick of Pocky and went back to staring at the screen. It had been weeks since she last updated, and she had promised one of her friends that the next chapter in her Samurai Troopers epic would be done by New Year's Day. It was now December 30th, and she had yet to write a single word. She had suddenly lost interest in her planned storyline, but couldn't come up with anything else.
She turned away from the computer, blinking in the sudden darkness. When had the sun gone down? She looked at the clock. Midnight. A while ago, she guessed. Sighing again, she plopped down on the bed, burying her face in the pillow. "I HATE deadlines," was the muffled comment.
The girl, now fortunately with a name, lifted her head, pushed her messy bangs out of her eyes, and looked around. "What do you want?" Noticing that there was no one in the room beside herself, another (less muffled) groan escaped her. "The only thing worse than having the voices in your head be audible is talking back to them."
"Go. Away. You don't exist and I'm not that insane yet. Gimme another month and come back then," Sakura mumbled, dropping her head back to the pillow.
Oh, but I do exist, Sakura.
"You've established the fact that you know my name. I don't need to hear it every sentence."
You seem to be very fond of the Samurai Troopers, aren't you, Sakura?
Finally giving in to the distraction that insisted on repeating her name needlessly, Sakura sat up. "Your voice is coming from the computer. I'm guessing that you can see my bookmarks and picture files. In that case, that question is stupid enough that I don't have to answer it."
Would you like to be able to meet them, Sakura?
Sakura blinked and tried to make some sense out of the situation. A disembodied voice from her computer – a very low, rich, feminine voice – was offering her the chance to meet two-dimensional anime characters. Great. There was only one logical explanation she could think of. "Is this because I ate the school lunch this afternoon? I KNEW they put hallucinogens in there!"
A pause ensued. Finally the voice seemed to recover itself. Sakura, I can give you power. I can give you fame. I can give you any Trooper you wish.
Sakura was now officially getting disturbed. It would be a dream come true to meet the Troopers, but somehow she knew there was a catch. This all sounded quite familiar. "Isn't that how Arago tricked the MaSho into working for him?"
And what's wrong with the MaSho?
Sakura thought a moment. "Absolutely nothing."
Then do you agree to come with me, Sakura?
Sakura shrugged. She was all in favor of a legit distraction. "Eh, why not?" She gasped as her body began to glow with a startling pink aura. The glow intensified, then wrapped in upon itself until what was once Sakura was a small ball of glowing energy. It hovered in midair for a moment, then shot into the computer.
Far away from reality, another teenage girl sat, although her surroundings were rather different. As far as the eye could see in any direction, everything was a gray-black color. If there were walls one couldn't tell. The only things visible were an elegant chair, the girl lounging in the chair, and four pulsing balls of colored energy hovering over her. A pink ball suddenly came hurtling towards them to join the rest. The girl looked at it, then smiled very slowly and rather evilly, in the tradition of all antagonists. You know.
"Byakuen, get back here!" The call reverberated through the tall buildings as the person screaming, the boy known as Sanada Ryo, ran through the alleys and streets of Shinjuku, trying to find the fleeing tiger. He turned the corner of yet another alley and ran full-speed into a blue-haired boy. "Touma, watch out!"
"You ran into ME," Touma pointed out.
"You're right, sorry. Have you seen Byakuen yet?"
"Not for about fifteen minutes. When do we have to be there?"
"Four hours – no, three now. Think we'll make it?"
Touma shrugged. "I told you not to let him know he had a veterinary appointment today."
Ryo growled. "I knew he was smart, but I didn't think he was devious enough to let us bring him into the city before throwing his fit. We'll never find him here."
Touma grinned, then hurriedly composed his face before Ryo saw it. "He was smart enough to separate us all, too. I lost Seiji after Byakuen tricked us. I think the same thing must have happened to Shin and Nasuti."
As if in response, Nasuti skipped by the two downed boys, singing happily. "Catch you catch you catch me catch me matte!"
Touma sweatdropped. Ryo pounded his head against the sidewalk. "She's on a sugar rush now?" he complained between poundings.
Shin came running towards them, skidding to a halt. "Did I just hear the Card Captor Sakura theme song?" The two nodded wordlessly. Shin grinned. "Which way?"
Touma pointed to the left.
"Thanks!" Shin ran off again, singing as well. "It's so all right! Maybe too right!"
This time Touma joined Ryo in pounding his head against the sidewalk. Seiji found them that way a few minutes later.
Ryo lifted his head wearily to see Seiji standing in front of them with an amused, somewhat disbelieving expression on his face. "Why didn't Byakuen separate them before they found a candy store?" Touma asked, also looking up.
"You would probably prefer not to see Shu just now, in that case. I believe he was with them while they purchased the snacks. From what I've seen, he is currently singing Midnight Party and practicing Sailormoon movements while searching for Byakuen," Seiji commented as he pulled Ryo and Touma to their feet.
"Tell me again why we all came on this trip?" Touma grumbled. A sudden flare of light prevented his getting a response. "What the–" he was cut off as an explosion reached their ears. In a moment they were subarmored and running towards the origin of the noise.
Eventually, the three made their way to the outskirts of the city, following the sounds of the explosions. Along the way they picked up Shin, Nasuti, and Shu, all of whom who had calmed down considerably with the possibility of a fight (though Nasuti was still humming under her breath from time to time). They stopped at the odd sight of a laptop computer sitting alone and unattended in the middle of an empty field.
"Umm… why?" Shin asked, looking at it quizzically.
"I guess we shouldn't touch it. Maybe we should just blow it up?" Ryo asked hesitantly. "It's probably what's been making the explosions."
Nasuti shook her head. "It's an expensive piece of equipment. Besides, how could a laptop be causing explosions like the ones we've been hearing?"
That question was answered when an extremely loud explosion sent everyone to the ground, covering their ears with their hands in an attempt to block out the noise. After a moment, the sound stopped. When nothing happened, they all stood up shakily. Aside from a bit of temporary deafness, they were all perfectly fine. Well, okay, five of them were perfectly fine. Touma had hit his nose when he ducked, and he was currently rubbing it and looking cutely pathetic. As their hearing gradually came back, the six gathered in a circle and began to discuss the implications of explosions that didn't blow anything up. In the heat of the debate, they didn't notice the five armored figures now standing in front of the laptop, grinning proudly and evilly.
"Do you think it's the Youjakai?"
"No, I don't think they have computers."
"Why would it just be the sound of an explosion and not the actual thing, though? It's dumb."
"But they could have done some serious damage today! We weren't prepared!"
The five armored figures looked at each other. One with raven-colored bangs poking out from under her helmet stepped forward. Her golden armor glistened in the sunlight. "Hi! My name's Venka, and these are my friends. We're the ones who lured you here with these explosions!"
She got a stunning lack of response.
"I still think it's the Youjakai. Who else EVER attacks us?"
"Oh, yeah. But that was New York."
Venka looked to her companions. They all shrugged and indicated for her to try again. "Excuse me, guys? We're the ones who made the explosions. See, we recorded them on the computer and set it to go off so you'd come investigate." She sweatdropped. "It's not that hard to follow!"
"Listen to me once in a while! The Youjakai isn't going to program a computer with fake explosions!"
"We killed him!"
"We killed Arago the first time too."
"May we please stop discussing Shikaisen?"
"Aw, quit being so sensitive about it."
"Hey, he has a right to be. His yoroi did kinda kill a bunch of people."
"Your tact is astounding."
"Actually, I don't wanna talk about Shikaisen anymore either."
"Ooh, that's right. Luna."
Another one of the warriors stepped forward. She had aquamarine curls that extended slightly past her helmet, and her yoroi was silver in color. "Hey, you guys! Pay attention to us! We're trying to fight with you!"
"You know, it's been three months. You're going to have to move on sometime!"
"This isn't a good time for a psychoanalysis!"
"…what were we talking about before?"
The computer chose that moment to give off another ear-splitting explosion.
After everyone had gotten back up off the ground and regained their hearing and Nasuti had gone through her purse to find a bandage for Touma's twice-abused nose, the Troopers finally noticed the five female warriors before them. They had all surrounded the laptop and were trying frantically to turn off the sound. Apparently, none of them were especially gifted with computers.
"Hey, you must be the ones who set those explosions off!" Ryo shouted in a stunning burst of insight.
"Are you working for the Youjakai?" Touma asked, transforming in a flurry of petals and drawing an arrow, pointing it at the five.
"Or Shikaisen?" Shu asked curiously.
"Would you get off Shikaisen already?" Ryo snapped. Seiji nodded agreement.
"Uh, guys? They're not paying attention." Shin pointed out. Indeed, the girls were busy panicking as they tried to shut off the volume.
"I didn't program this thing!"
"You have to have used one before!"
"With SPEAKERS! Nice speakers with really big volume control dials!"
"Hit the start menu again."
"I have a better idea." The one with pink hair spilling out the back of her helmet, a shade lighter than her pink armor, looked over at the slightly put-out Troopers. "Hiya! I'm Sakura! Can I borrow one of your weapons?"
Five irritated, bewildered Troopers looked at each other and shrugged. "Um, sure, I guess." Touma tossed the arrow he had been aiming over to her. Sakura tried to catch it gracefully, but it ended up falling at her feet. Sighing, she picked it up and brought it over to the others.
"Hurry!" one of her friends called, sounding even more panicky than before, if possible. "It's going to go off again!" Touma covered his nose protectively and whimpered softly.
The pink-haired girl looked at the arrow in her hand, then at the laptop. She quickly shoved it through the computer screen. Sparks flew for a second, but the machine died a quiet death without too much fuss. Sakura pulled the arrow from the remnants of the computer and tried to toss it back to Touma, but it dissipated into energy halfway there. "Oh, well. Thanks a lot!" she chirped.
The Troopers stared at the wrecked equipment. "I told you we should have just destroyed it in the first place," Ryo finally said to Nasuti, who pouted.
Shu looked slightly irritated again. "Now will you tell us what's going on?"
"We already did!" wailed Venka. Behind her, Sakura was sweatdropping while the silver-armored girl was hitting herself in the head.
The Troopers looked at each other, puzzled. "When?" Nasuti asked curiously.
"Oh, never mind," Sakura sighed. "We programmed that to lure you out into the open so we can capture you."
Shin blinked. "You're very honest, aren't you?"
"Well, what else did you expect me to say? It's what we're gonna do…" The other four nodded proudly.
Seiji studied them for a moment. "The four of you have not been the recipients of a great deal of formal training in the art of strategy, I assume?"
One in shiny lavender armor who had not spoken before piped in. "Nope! We're all new at this!"
The Troopers sweatdropped. Nasuti checked her watch. "Look, Byakuen's going to be late for his appointment if we waste all this time. I'm going to go back to Shinjuku and try to catch him, since I'm obviously not going to have anything to do aside from get captured if I wait around here, okay?"
Ryo nodded assent. "That's great, Nasuti. Thanks." Nasuti waved it off, then turned and walked towards the city. The Troopers were left to face off against their new opponents.
The two teams looked at each other for a few moments, then all of a sudden the five girls began a squealing, shrieking fit. The Troopers covered their ears yet again, but refrained from hitting the ground. They gave each other looks clearly asking "What the...?"
"I can't believe it, I can't believe it! They're HERE!" the bronze-armored girl giggled.
"We really get to play with anime characters! Does this mean…? Kenshin, my love! And Vash! But I'd have to leave the Troopers, and Seiji is so cute… and Shin…" The silver-armored, aquamarine-haired girl sighed happily. "So many bishies!"
"Aqua, forget Kenshin! These guys are here now! We should take advantage of the situation," Venka smirked mischievously, causing the five boys to sweatdrop and begin to back away slowly.
"Speaking of the situation…" Touma stopped backing away for a moment. "Would you mind telling us exactly why you want our yoroi this time?"
The girls all looked up, startled. "We don't want your yoroi, silly!" Aqua laughed, twirling a sea-colored curl around one finger.
"Then… what was the point of all this?" Shin asked inquisitively.
The girl who thus far had been nameless and descriptionless decided that she was going to get some airtime. "We want you, of course!" she smiled, removing her lavender helmet to reveal shoulder-length blue hair beneath.
The clueless Troopers looked at each other, then at the girls again.
Sakura sighed in annoyance. "We're fanfiction writers."
This also took a few seconds to sink through the cute-but-dumb Troopers' heads. When it did, they all gasped in horror and looked to their leader for, well, leadership. Ryo swallowed and asked, "You guys remember what to do?" The rest nodded. "Then do it!"
At that, the five boys turned and fled.
Venka smirked. "Now comes the fun part, right?"
Sakura nodded. "Rock paper scissors?"
"Rock paper scissors."
"What are we gonna do?" Shu asked. The Troopers had run until they felt they would have a little breathing time, then all collapsed on the ground. "If they get us, we'll probably get scarred for life!"
"I agree. However, unless we can come up with an actual plan, our chances aren't especially high," Seiji added, looking rather miserable.
Touma sighed, poking a stick into the ground. He banished Tenku and sat in his subarmor with the rest of them. "I hate to say it, but I think we're going to have to split up."
"We're gonna die, we're gonna die," Shu sang tunelessly.
Shin rolled his eyes. "They're just fanfiction writers! Sure they have really frightening powers and love putting us through angst and torture and occasionally killing us off, but we can handle it!"
Shu looked at him. Touma poked Shu with the stick.
Shin sighed. "They're just teenage girls!"
Shu looked at him. Touma poked Shu with the stick again.
Shin sighed again. "You're right; we're going to die."
"Stop it, both of you!" Ryo snapped. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Sorry. Okay, I agree with Touma. If we split up, they can only send one after each of us at a time. That way, if even one escapes, he can go back to help the others."
Touma poked Shu with his stick for the third time. Shu told Touma exactly what he was going to do to Touma with the stick if Touma didn't stop poking him with it. Seiji confiscated the stick, since what Shu threatened was rather unpleasant and quite anatomically incorrect. Knowing Shu, he would carry it out anyway.
Shin watched the little drama, amused. "Come on guys," he said finally. "Ryo's right. We'd better get going." Getting up, they wished each other good luck, then each walked off in a different direction.
Ryo went north, towards the city. He didn't actually expect that the girls would let him make it there, and he was quite correct. After about fifteen minutes, he came across Aqua sitting cross-legged on the ground, silver helmet sitting beside her and a laptop, well, in her lap. She looked up, narrowing her eyes.
Ryo blinked, confused. Wasn't this the girl who had been squealing about getting to meet them earlier?
As if reading his mind, she glared at him. "We played 'rock paper scissors' to find out who went after which Trooper. I wanted Seiji."
Ryo sighed. "So does every other girl in Japan. Why do you all like him so much, anyway?"
Aqua puzzled over it for a moment, then shrugged. "I think it's the hair. You're kinda cute, though, so I guess you'll do. Anyway, I have to give you the obligatory chance to surrender which I know perfectly well that you aren't going to take."
"Thanks." He sweatdropped. "And I have to give the obligatory clichéd speech about how I'll never serve you."
"I don't want you to serve me; I want you to make out with me."
Ryo blinked again. "I don't think I have a clichéd response to that one."
Aqua's eyes lit up. "Does that mean it's a yes?"
She pouted. "You're no fun at all. But I guess that means that I get to use my nifty new powers to subdue you!" The girl brightened considerably.
Ryo thought back to the "skill" they had displayed before. Maybe this wasn't going to be as bad as they had originally thought. "Okay, go ahead and make your speech."
Aqua got to her feet and drew herself up to her full height – a head shorter than Ryo. "I am an otaku whose dream has become reality! The new generation of MaSho, whose evil – or maybe just a little twisted – armor will take over the Samurai Troopers and force them to be in our fics for all eternity! I am the soldier bearing the Armor of OOC-ness!"
Ryo thought for a moment. "I thought this was a YST fanfic."
Aqua looked put out. "None of us can say our yoroi name in Japanese, so we figured it was better to go American-style on the whole thing."
"Fair enough. Armor of OOC-ness?"
She blushed. "Actually, the full name is 'Armor of Wildly-Out-of-Character-Anime-Bishounen,' but that doesn't quite flow as well…"
"Anyway, if you won't surrender, I'm going to have to use my attack on you – so please don't since I haven't had a chance to use these nifty new powers yet!" She smiled cutely and made big shiny puppy eyes at him.
"Actually, I wasn't really planning on it anyway. You're evil if you live to torment anime bishounen, and I won't forgive it. I'll stop you with the power of Rekka!" Ryo finished his little speech in a passionate voice and with a cute, dramatic pose. Aqua applauded.
"Not bad! Now, since I'm the adorable little girl, I get to attack first, right?" she asked as she made even bigger puppy eyes in his direction.
"I don't think I have to do that. We never did for Kayura…"
"Well, tough. Shiny Pink Character Distortion!" Aqua shrieked at decibels high enough to make Ryo wince and cover his ears for the nth time that day, which rendered it impossible for him to mock the attack name (much as he wanted to). As she called the name she dropped to a sitting position, grabbed the laptop that had been knocked out of the way earlier, and began to type furiously.
A wave of nausea washed over Ryo. He bent over double in an attempt to avoid throwing up. Breathing heavily, he tried to ask her what she had just done. Unfortunately, he lacked the air to do so. Aqua typed more slowly, then stopped altogether. After a moment, Ryo cautiously straightened back up.
"How do you feel?" the girl asked curiously.
Ryo looked unsure for a minute. He then grinned broadly and pushed his bangs out of his face. "Hey, I feel great! I just realized that nothing that's happened so far has been my fault! I'm not even worried about my friends because I know they can take care of themselves!"
Aqua sweatdropped. She had the distinct feeling that this was not what was supposed to happen.
"Actually, I don't really care if we defeat you guys either," Ryo continued, chattering on brightly. "I wanna go out to some wild party and then maybe try some petty shoplifting!"
Well, that sounded better…
"Wanna make out with me first?" Aqua asked, smiling as seductively as she could (not very) and twirling her long curl again.
Ryo looked pensive. "I'll have to think about it first. Wouldn't do to go rushing in without a plan, you know."
Aqua sighed and pulled up Free Cell as Ryo sat down to think.
Shu was getting distinctly bored. He'd been wandering for who-knew-how-long and had yet to catch sight of any deranged fanfiction writers. He had seen a small deer at one point, but it had just looked at him and run off. It was evil too, but that's another story altogether. Finally he stopped in annoyance. "IF YOU'RE OUT THERE, COME ON ALREADY!" he called loudly.
"You don't have to yell, you know," a feminine voice scolded. Shu whirled around to see the girl with dark blue hair and lavender armor sitting in a tree as if battle was the last thing on her mind. A laptop was on her lap, appropriately enough, and one foot dangled inches above Shu's head.
"Why do you all like to show up like that and try to make a fool out of me?" Shu complained as he entered a fighting stance.
"Because you make it too easy!" she grinned at him.
"Look, you've kept me walking all day and I'm ready for a decent fight! Now get down here so we can start!"
"You don't even know my name," she pouted.
Shu sweatdropped and considered that. "Well… what is it then?"
"I'm Bleumoon! I bear the Armor of the Infinitely Slow Updates!" she said proudly, clutching her laptop to her chest.
Shu blinked. "Ok-ay… well… even if you're a cute little girl, I'm going to have to defeat anyone who carries an evil yoroi of destruction. I, Kongo no Shu, will defeat you!"
"I'd like to see you try," Bleumoon challenged with a rather cliché phrase – excusable, as it was her first day on the job. Shu obligingly began his transformation. "Glittering Laziness Writer's Block!" she called as Shu gathered his power to transform. She typed in one line on her laptop and a haze covered the field the two were standing in.
"What the…" Shu asked, surprised. He struggled to move, but his body was frozen in position. "What did you do!?"
Bleumoon smiled evilly. "I ended the chapter. You can't move until I update."
Touma, meanwhile, had found Sakura sitting on a rock in the middle of nowhere. She was busily printing out some extremely large document from her laptop.
Touma sweatdropped but declined to ask. "Hey you! Are you ready to battle?"
Sakura looked up. "Oh, hiya!" she smiled. "Hold on, I'm charging up my armor."
Then again, maybe one quick question... "I thought you were printing something. How does that charge up your yoroi?"
The printer made a funny beep and spit out the last page of the document on top of the rather large pile. Sakura disconnected the printer from the laptop and stood up. "I am Sakura, bearer of the Armor of the Epic-That-Needs-Beta-Read!"
Touma blinked. "Come again?"
"I'd explain it to you, but I reeeeeeeeeeeally need this proofread." She looked thoughtful, as though she were considering her options. She glanced at him and her eyes lit up. "Hey, you could do it for me!" she exclaimed.
"Er, sorry. I'd rather get on with fighting you and finding my friends."
"But…but…" Sakura's eyes began to fill with tears. "If this isn't beta read then I can't post it! It would have all sorts of grammatical errors and really out-of-character Troopers and I really really need some comments on it and if you don't then I'll have to spend all DAY looking for someone who will and I don't want to fight knowing that this isn't finished and if you won't help me I'm going to cry really hard and get all sick and you'll feel really bad and–"
Touma weighed his options in his mind. Reading some excessively long fanfiction about one of the Troopers getting hooked up with the author was not something he was particularly interested in. Sakura's whining and crying, however, got louder each passing minute.
"ALL RIGHT!" Touma cried in desperation. Shutting her up, he decided, was definitely in his best interest. "Will you be quiet if I do?"
"Hai!" Sakura smiled sunnily. She handed him a highlighter and a black pen as he sat down to look through the epic she had printed out. As he read, Sakura's smile became less sweet and more evil. 'One Trooper trapped in my 'Never-ending Story' attack!' she thought gleefully. 'It's just too bad that I don't get to call out a nifty attack name, since that kinda spoils the surprise... Oh, well. I hope one of the others makes it here. This is fun!'
Seiji was walking through a patch of trees, carefully avoiding sticks and leaves in an effort to find his target before she found him. He stopped suddenly upon hearing giggling noises coming from his right. He made a quick detour only to discover the bronze-armored girl, who was playing with her laptop and laughing diabolically. Giving up on the idea of a surprise attack, Seiji coughed politely in an attempt to get her attention. She laughed more, clicking on something.
Seiji coughed again. "Pardon me…?"
She looked up, startled, then burst into hysterical laughter. Fuming, Seiji stalked over to where she was lying on the ground incapacitated and looked at the screen. A giant sweatdrop slid down the back of his head. A comic of Nasuti braiding Ryo's hair was pulled up on the screen – and in the lower half of the picture, himself with two braids poking out on either side of his head. He began twitching almost as much as the Seiji in the picture.
The bronze-armored girl finally regained control of herself – at least, to the extent where she could stand up. "Okay…" she gasped, trying to stop laughing, "Okay. I'm Lady Sekmet of the–" She risked a glance at Seiji and cracked up again. Seiji, recovering his composure, gave a frustrated sigh.
"Might we begin this battle now?"
The girl tried desperately to stop laughing. "Okay, sure." She cleared her throat and made a melodramatic pose, forgetting her laughter in the moment. "I am Lady Sekmet with the Armor of Version Confusion!"
"Isn't that a bit close to Rajura's armor? Besides which, you seem to have adopted Naaza's American name as your own."
Lady Sekmet stuck out her tongue at him. "I like Sekhmet! The armor's short for "Confusion-between-the-American-and-Japanese-versions-as-well-as-between-canon-and-fandom."
Seiji's visible eye widened in horror. "You truly are a demon."
"Hey! I'm not a demon!" she sniffed, hurt. She stopped, thinking. "Well… maybe on the fandom part." She grinned mischievously. "But hey, what's wrong with Ronin Warriors?"
Seiji sighed and began counting off each point on his fingers. "To begin, we are not technically 'ronin.' The definition is 'masterless samurai,' and Kaosu could certainly qualify as our master. We even call him 'master' in the manga. Secondly, I do not, I reiterate, do not flirt shamelessly. I am far too young to be thinking of such things. Thirdly–"
"Oh, shut up," Lady Sekmet snapped, irritated. "I know your kanji is Wisdom and all, but that doesn't mean you need to go on like that." She pouted at him. "You're supposed to be nice to cute girls!" She smiled innocently, fluffing her deep-green hair as she spoke.
Seiji blinked at her. "Touma possesses Intellect. I am the Samurai Trooper of Rei, or Courtesy."
"Don't be silly. Now put on Halo so we can have a proper battle!"
"I don't have the Armor of Halo. This is a Samurai Troopers story. I wear Kourin no yoroi." Seiji pushed back his hair from where it had fallen in front of his eye. He was quickly losing patience, but he didn't think it would be quite right to battle her until she had her facts straight.
"Would you quit it! Or – hey!" Lady Sekmet stopped, her eyes opening wide as a thought struck her. "Are you using amnesia as a way to flirt with me?" she asked, accusation in her voice.
"I told you not two minutes ago that I am not of an age to be interested in girls!" Seiji shot back, rubbing his temples. He was developing a migraine.
"Don't try to fool me. I know how you are! You want to get in bed with any pretty girl you see!" Lady Sekmet sniffed disdainfully.
Seiji blushed an extremely interesting shade of red. "That is absurd!"
He turned his back to her, trying to calm himself down before attempting the situation again. Lady Sekmet snickered quietly and began typing into the laptop at her feet.
Shin had been walking an excessively long time without seeing anything especially interesting. 'I'm bored. Bored bored bored bored. I wish I could just find one of those girls and finish this battle. Hmm... assuming we get out of this alive, I wonder if we can go out to eat tonight? It'll be really late by the time we finish with Byakuen's appointment. I just hope nothing happens like last time. Shu just HAD to go to that new American-style seafood restaurant, of all places. The only thing there that wasn't seafood was the buffalo burger meal! THEN we find out that Touma's secretly a member of the Buffalo Preservation Society and I have to sit there and listen to him call me a murder or a poacher all night even though HE was eating that poor little swordfish! Buffalo aren't even endangered – how was I a poacher? Plus Seiji sitting there all smug with his freaking SUSHI and commenting on how the deep-frying process of American foods destroys most of the nutritional value. One of these days I'm going to smack him when he starts getting all self-righteous. Where on earth did he get sushi at an American restaurant, anyway? And the dessert! Ryo just HAD to have cherries jubilee even though last time he set Nasuti's hair on fire and she wouldn't speak to him for two weeks. I guess that was sort of my fault, though, since I startled him in the first place. It's not like I MEANT to dump the ice cream on him! It's just that the waiter went by pushing an aquarium of live lobsters so the murderers could choose their victims personally – I couldn't just sit back and watch it happen! It's not like we're allowed to go back there anyway. Next time we'd better go somewhere with decent food, or else–'
His long, pointlessly rambling thoughts were cut off abruptly by shout of "Bishounen Glomp ATTACK!" and an impact from behind. Arms wrapped painfully tightly around his waist, and he looked behind him to see Venka firmly attached to his back.
"You're so cute!" she grinned. "I love my armor…"
"Ummm?" Shin asked, confusion evident in his tone.
The girl smiled up at him, her eyes barely visible through her heavy bangs. "I'm Venka, warrior with the Armor of Glomping!"
A sweatdrop appeared on the back of Shin's head. "Of what?"
"Glomping!" she chirped happily. "I'm just going to hold on to you forever and ever since you're so much cuter than any guy I've ever seen in real life!"
Shin continued to sweatdrop. 'Oh, dear. This could be a problem…' A sudden thought struck him, and it was his turn to grin evilly. Shin gently removed her arms from his waist and turned around to face her. "Glomping is fun, but there are other, more amusing ways to spend time, ne?"
He held her head up with one hand, cupping it around her chin so that she was looking straight at him. Eyes wide and shining with astonishment, she was silent as his other hand reached to caress her cheek.
"Now, isn't this more… interesting?" Her golden eyes widened even more. Shin gave her a charming grin. He ran his finger across her lip, then replaced the finger with his own lips. He kissed her gently, holding her close against him. Venka sighed happily and slumped forward in a dead faint, a silly grin on her face. Shin chuckled.
"That works every time," he snickered as he eased her to the ground. Casually thrusting his foot through Venka's laptop, he strolled off to find his friends.