There are those that sigh with relief of his passing while there are others that rejoice because it is a valiant victory for the Republic. But there are two here...two that do neither.
As I watch the small Councilor turn to leave my office, I lower my head and bat away the tears that some how escaped my eyes.He's gone...there was hope before, but now...
The door never opened and I quickly look up to see why.
Master Yoda had come back around my desk and laid his small three-fingered hand upon my arm.
"One with the Force he is." His large eyes reflected the pain and sorrow that I felt.
"But he was not redeemed and he was still lost..." My voice breaks as I try to breathe. His loss had sliced through the barriers that I had sworn were strong enough to keep those old feelings away. How wrong was I! The pain is too unbearable!
The older Master takes my hand in his and looks up into my face warmly.
"Try I did, but refuse to talk to me he did." He shook his head sadly as his ears drooped. I swear he looked much older today than he had ever before. The wrinkles seem more pronounced as his shoulders slumped with the weight of the man's death.
"Lost a good man we did. Lost my Padawan I have..." A tear slipped down his green cheek as for the first time in decades the diminutive Master allowed his feelings to show.
He looked deeper in my eyes. "Knew of your relationship with him, I did." His words were so quiet that I barely heard them.
I knew that I paled at his announcement because I could literally feel the blood leave my face as I got light headed for a moment. He knew?! He has known all this time but never did anything or say anything...? Confusion drove out my shock as he continued.
"Helped him maintain balance you did. The light in his darkness you were. This I saw, frown upon what was occurring I did. But know for the best it was." He smiled weakly at me as he patted my arm reassuringly.
A memory of long ago flashed through my mind; "You are the light of my life. I was a fool to have not noticed it by now." Those were the last words that were said before we committed the first act against the Code...before we made love. Master Yoda's words cut through my reverie.
"The Council knows not and will not. Between us this will remain. Through the Force, felt his passing I have. Remember death there is not..."
"There is the Force..." I finished for him the mantra that we are all taught in your youth. The mantra that never before failed me...until now.
He nodded and left, the door hissing closed behind him seem to echo through me.
A new wave of sadness crashed through me as I took my head in my hands and allowed the sobs to wrack my body. Even if I tried...there was no stopping the tears that flowed freely down my face and into my hands. I allowed the pain and sorrow to fill me as I mourned the passing of my old friend, my companion, my one true love...my lover the ex-Jedi Master, and later to be known as - Count Dooku.