A/N: Bonjour! Ok, this is a one-shot that is very random, PWP, sort of stupid, and has some humor. Or none at all, however everyone sees it. Go ahead and tell me what you think!
A Random Plot
'Damn that...stupid arse....bloody....fucking shit bag...'
The-Boy-Who-Lived, or as he prefers to be referred to, as Harry Potter was on the floor of one of the many dungeons in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, scrubbing the stains and dirt off the cold stone ground.
Why, you may ask?
You can blame his big bugger mouth for this detention.
The sixteen-year-old teenager arched his back and plopped down onto his bottom, muttering and mumbling about Snape. Harry had happened to have a bad week and Snape had happened to be feeling very much like torturing him, so came the insults exchanged and the punishment set for our wizard boy.
For all we knew, Snape was probably jealous of Harry's sexiness. I mean, the boy had that skinny-underfed bod and those oh so ultra bright green eyes!
Who in Hogwarts would be dense enough not to fall in love with him?
Anyway, Luscious-And-Very-Unaware-Of-It Harry brushed back his untidy black bangs out of his face and shoved the bucket of muddy water away. Abruptly, the door of Professor Snape's classroom opened and who came in, strutting like a preening rooster?
Aw, c'mon, who else but our also-sexy in a evil manner Draco Malfoy.
The raven haired boy took one look at him and said in an disgusted voice, "What the bloody hell are you doing here Malfoy?" The blonde smirked in his characteristic way, "Don't flatter yourself Potter, I'm not here to watch you suffer in detention. I'm here to get last evening assignment from Professor Snape, would you happen to know where he is?"
Harry muttered, "No," and continued scrubbing the floor with the rag.
A few moments of quiet passed and Harry looked back up, to see his worst enemy sitting on Snape's desk, watching him with unreadable eyes.
Well, if you could read them, they would be filled with semi interest.
The darker boy stopped what he was doing, "I thought you said you weren't here to watch me suffer in detention?" Malfoy laced his fingers into his lap and drawled, "If you had be paying attention, I said I wasn't. I have decided to wait in till he comes back."
Harry said with mock happiness, "Oh, how bloody wonderful!"
The shorter boy heard the other state, "You missed a spot over there."
One look at Harry's furious green eyes and Draco almost flinched.
But, Malfoy's don't flinch.
It wasn't even five minutes before Harry heard a small popping sound. He looked back at Malfoy, who was moving his jaw as if he had something in his mouth.
"Malfoy, what are you doing?"
The blonde said, "Chewing something called 'gum'. Muggles may be simple minded but they were onto something with this. Gum is positively addicting."
Draco Malfoy blew a small bubble and Harry was reminded of the times when he was younger, when his cousin would pop gum in his overly large mouth, driving Harry insane.
Right now, all Harry could hear in his head was that snap and pop of the gum, that goddamn gum.
He lost it.
Before Malfoy could act, Harry had stood up, screaming, "STOP IT!" Then racing over and pressing the blonde's back against the desk, seating on top of him and taking out his wand.
No, the one that casts spells, you sickos.
The raven haired teenager pressed it against the other boy's neck, growling, "Spit it out. Now." Draco made a face, "Merlin, Potter, what is wrong with you?"
Harry growled again, "Do it."
The blonde rolled his silvery eyes, turning his head and spitting the gum over the edge of the desk, it landed in the trash can beside Snape's desk.
The-Boy-Who-Lived began to regain some of his sanity and tucked his wand back to his pocket, getting off of Malfoy but it wasn't long before Malfoy had him pinned on the desk instead.
The Slytherin Prince murmured in his ear, giving Harry shivers that he couldn't name, "Did you think you were going to get away with that?"
The Gryffindor shrugged, fighting all new intentions that were running through his head.
"So you went mad over some gum I was chewing?"
"Don't even play stupid with me Potter, I saw insanity in your eyes. Why?""
"Harry asked, that cute confused look passing over his eyes, "Why...what?" Draco swallowed, he had seen that look and it never ceased to melt his inners, "Nevermind."
He got off him and found himself once again under the body of the youngest Seeker in a century.
Silvery eyes looked mildly pissed off, "What now?"
Harry seem to have lost all sensible language, "Er..." This was getting old.
Draco Malfoy leaned closer, his pale lips just centimeters away from the darker boy's, "If you have something to say, say it now."
The shorter boy blushed, he didn't know why he was getting hot and flustered just by looking into those....devilishly....admirable...eyes.
The blonde tilted his head, "You're forgiven this time Potter. Next time, I won't be so nice about it." Bright green eyes practically smiled, Malfoy spoke up before Harry could get off him, "One more thing..."
The raven haired boy looked down at him bewildered and before anything else could happen, the door to the Potions classroom was opened once again.
Who could be standing in the doorway?
Ron, with his mouth hanging wide open?
Hermione, with a knowing expression on her face?
One of the Slytherins, looking about ready to puke all over Harry's hard work?
WRONG, it was none of the above! Standing in the doorway was dear Professor Severus Snape, he was watching them with a mixture of disgusted satisfaction.
Both boys oogled as he said sharply, "About time you two were true to your feelings, I swear, another second of your secret glances and hidden passion for each other and I would have cursed you both into oblivion."
Draco said numbly, "What about my homework?"
"There was no homework Draco, I set you two up."
Both boys gaped again and the professor walked out, saying over his shoulder, "And that floor better be spotless when I come back Potter, and that desk shouldn't have any marks on it as well."
Harry Potter blinked once.
Draco Malfoy blinked once.
Everyone in the audience blinked once.
The Gryffindor Seeker said aloud, "Hell to this," and brought his mouth to the Slytherin's.
Cue the lovely music ballet and clapping.