"Halt! Who goes there?" Liam Gregory Summers-Finn yelled as the doorbell rang. He was in full soldier mode, his toy gun in his hands and his "grr" face on like Uncle Spike.
"Private Uncle Xander Harris, reporting for duty," Xander hollered threw the front door. Liam grinned; Uncle Xander was the best. Uncle Xander was married to Aunt Anya, who liked sex and hated bunnies. Liam opened the door and grinned. It was his fifth birthday so all his family was coming to see him. He was very excited but he kept on his "cool" face like his daddy told him too.
"Attention," He yelled, saluting the brown haired man. Anya stood behind him, carrying a baby in her arms.
"Hello, small soldier like boy," She greeted. "What did Auntie Anya tell you?"
"Money and sex are two of the most capitalistic-ly correct things in the entire country of America and Bunnies are the devil in small fluffy form?"
"Good boy," Liam beamed at the blonde ex-demon.
"Anya, let me see her," Buffy gushed, reaching out to hold the two-month-old baby girl. Hannah Elizabeth Harris was a spitting image of her mother, with her father's big brown eyes. She reached a hand up and laid it on the blonde slayers face. Buffy melted. When Liam was a baby, he was very solemn like his father. As he got older though, he started picking up more of Buffy and Dawn's energetic Summers genes.
"Be careful with her, small children tend to be very fragile and result in many laborious hours of well enjoyed sex,"
"Ahn," Xander warned, giving the blonde woman a look that clearly stated "bedroom-talk-stays-in-the-bedroom".
"Hello, bigger soldier like man," Riley smiled at Anya and wrapped an arm around Buffy protectively. Xander rolled his eyes. He really hated the guy but he was Buffy's husband so he had to put up with him.
"We're here," Dawn yelled as her and Spike came in the back door. The sun had just set and they had headed over when it was safe for the bleached vamp. In her arms, Dawn carried a huge birthday cake while Spike held several brightly wrapped presents.
"Bloody hell, Bit, metallic wrapping paper doesn't go with the bad boy image," Spike muttered to the former key, dropping the presents on the table. Dawn simply grinned at him and placed the cake on the counter.
"We're in the living room," Dawn heard Buffy call. She began walking when she felt Spike embrace her from behind.
"Spike," She hissed.
"I'm not going to be able to touch you all night, luv, give me a little time here," She smiled and kissed him lightly before walking to the living room. Willow and Tara sat on the couch, taking turns holding baby Hannah and little Liam ran from person to person pointing his gun at everyone.
"Halt," He yelled, pointing it at Spike who simply raised an eyebrow at him.
"I'm bigger then you, nibblet," He explained to the small boy before picking him up and tossing him over his shoulder. Dawn leaned against the wall and smiled. Buffy, who had over time learned to trust the vampire, sat next to Riley, squeezing his had reassuringly. She knew he hated Spike but Dawn and him had formed a bond that none of the Scooby's could break. Buffy couldn't help but shake the feeling that her sixteen year old sister was more then just friends with the vampire.
"I want one!" Willow stated, cuddling with the blonde baby.
"You cant have this particular small person however I am sure if you had vast amounts of sex with a male, not my male but perhaps Buffy's, you will become impregnated and then nine long months later you will birth a similar small person," Anya explained as though it were the simplest thing in the world. Buffy bit her lip to keep from laughing as Riley looked appalled.
"Hello all," Giles greeted, standing in the doorway. Behind him trailed a five year old little girl with brown hair and green eyes.
"Hiya," She greeted, holding on tightly to Giles' hand.
"MIA," Liam yelled, running to the small girl. Mia grinned and threw her arms around him. While Liam was insane, Mia was calm. They were polar opposites and yet the two children loved each other with such a passion. Giles had adopted Mia the same year Buffy had birthed Liam and she knew Willow and Tara as her mommies. They had joint custody of her and she spent every other week with the witches.
"Presents?" Liam questioned, looking at the bundle in Giles' arms.
"Maybe," Mia grinned, grabbing his small hand. The two ran off to his room to play. Twenty minutes later, as the adults talked, a large bang was heard from the bedroom.
"Wasn't me!" Liam's voice called from his room. The adults groaned and went to go see what the little terror had done now.
Buffy smiled; Mommy's little commando was at it again.
A/n: Don't shoot me, I know I shouldn't have started this but…I'm me. Review if you want more!! And I do realize that the Buffy/Riley thing is majorly wrong but it works for this. I personally hate Riley so he wont be portrayed as the best character.