Title: Table For Two

Author: Sami

Summary: Lorne asks a questions and mayham insues.

"Harmony, Harmony, Har-mo-ny!" Lorne sang as he sauntered up to her desk. "I have something that will make your head spin exorcist style!"

She hopped up and her bright smile made his heart beat out a rumba. "Oooo! A present! What it is?"

"Patience, Honey Girl. It's time to play a guessing game. Now what do creepy crawlies and the hottest club got in common?"

Her forehead wrinkled up as she thought. "Oh, I don't know! Just tell me!"
"Two words, my little Harmonica, Spider Club!"

Lorne had a big night planned that started off with dancing and hobnobbing with celebs. He would catch her while she was star struck and declare himself. It would, no doubt, surprise her given his 'don't ask, don't tell' policy, coupled with his ability to bathe and dress well. Everyone knew that the Fab Five have nothing on him. He could out shop, dress, and quip Carson any day of the week!

Well, no more! Harm was a doll and the only one in this cranky corporation with the bright outlook and taste for fun that matched his. They were perfect. Hell, if this were high school, they would be voted cutest couple. Craig and Trevor from Sacrifices had nothing on them!

The girl has some pipes on her, Lorne had to admit. Sure, not at all melodious but what she lacked in skill she made up for with enthusiasm. The entire lobby was given a taste of it when she screamed, jumped up and down, and hugged him. Too bad that little vocal moment didn't qualify for a reading, he thought. Then Harmony's pink clad curves became too distracting.

As she pulled away, he asked, "Limo, your place, 9-ish?"

She excitedly bobbed her head.

"Splendid!" He said as he slowly walked away. "See ya tonight and remember your dancing shoes!"

He strode back to the office like the theme song to 'Shaft' was playing.


Harmony, in her skin tight, pink, almost dress, slithered and gyrated against Lorne. They had just won a dance off against Britney and Usher when she said huskily, "Lorne, you know how they say once you go green you never go back. Well, I want to go to your place and have hot sex in your Jacuzzi, you fabulously dressed man, you." They kissed passionately.

His dream was punctured when he heard his assistant up the hall saying, "You know they've been saying that Ms. Burkle and the insipid bitch of a secretary Mr. Angel has are screwing.

It's true, I saw them kissing in the parking garage!" A brunette in a Gucci knock off pant suit let out a delighted gasp.

Lorne stood still and his jaw was currently becoming acquainted with the floor. He felt crushed, which was Angel's act, so he tried to look on the bright side. It was just gossip. Just gossip spread by his clueless cabana boy.

He heard the jingle of Harmony's bracelets as she hurried toward him. "Lorne, do you mind if Fred tags along?" She misjudged his disappointed expression and said, "Don't worry. I'm totally sure we'll be able to find you a yummy boy toy. Tootles!"

Lorne watched her go and tried again to think on the bright side; he could try to wiggle in on a Fred 'n Harmony sandwich. The bright side wasn't working so that only left one thing. He yelled to his still gossiping assistant, "I need a Seabreeze over here!"