Nice Guys Never Win
Disclaimer: Don't own the characters. I wrote this ages ago after I first started watching Witch Hunter Robin when it was on Adult Swim. See what you think.
I'm a dork, a nerd. Have been forever and probably always will be. I'm a lost cause, a hopeless case really. I mean here it's Friday night and I'd rather be at the computer than out doing something with someone. Of course I could say my employment made me this way. That's just an excuse though. I was always this way.
Movement from a nearby terminal gives me an excuse to avert my eyes from the screen. It's then that I realize I've traded my captivation by one thing for my captivation by another. She's still here, probably working late on some case. She works pretty hard, still paying dues and all that. I suddenly wonder how long it's been since she slept. Too long. It's a pretty thankless job here at STN-J and she's still pretty new at all this. I can see how it would all get to her sometimes. After all, she's only sixteen.
She's beautiful. It's something I've learned while working with her. She is beautiful but it's a sad kind of beauty. I would say she looks like an angel and I suppose I would be half right. She's an angel but she's a fallen one. She's a golden-haired phantom in a long, black dress that won't stop haunting my mind.
I'm pretty observant. I guess it's partly because I'm naturally curious. That's how I got into hacking in the first place. I wanted to know everything, to be able to go anywhere. I was curious and like the old saying goes curiosity definitely killed this cat. There's also another reason I'm observant and it's because I'm bored. Staring at a computer screen all day gets boring after awhile so I watch people instead. I see everything, even the things most people don't. It's always interesting but, like hacking already has, it's going to get me in serious trouble one day.
I like to watch her most of all. She's still the new fish in the pond. I can tell sometimes that hurts. She looks so alone most of the time and I know what it's like to be alone. I think I'm the only one who notices it, who bothers to see that she's lonely.
I sigh a little and get up from my chair. She shouldn't be in here on a Friday night. She should be at the movies or a party with her friends like a normal sixteen-year-old. At the very least she should be getting a good night's sleep. I walk over to where she's sitting. It feels like a long time before I say anything. I just kind of stand there and watch her. The soft glow of the screen washes over her face and I can tell she's tired. Her eyes are half open and there are little dark rings under them.
"You know, if you stare too hard at that you'll damage your eyes," I tell her. I'm not very good with people, particularly girls. I've never been a social person and my current employment doesn't exactly help things. She turns around and notices me. She manages a cute, little half-smile.
"Is that why you have to wear glasses?" she asks. A joke from Robin is a rare thing but I've suddenly discovered it's a very nice thing as well. I smile a little in return.
"You know," I tell her, "I think you're the first person to ever use that one." I decide at this point that my legs have had enough exercise for the night and pull up a chair.
"Seriously," I tell her, "you should get some sleep. It's late."
"I'm sorry," apologizes Robin although there's no need to, "Amon wanted me to work on this case and I just lost track of time." The way she says his name hurts me a little. She says it with this dreamy sort of tone. I've noticed one important thing while watching her. She has feelings for Amon. That makes me hurt inside.
"I guess I should leave though," she admits as she glances back absently at the computer screen. Neither one of us say anything for a little bit. I'm suddenly reminded of the last time we talked at night, when she brought me doughnuts. It was the first time in a long time I felt like a person. Too many times everybody forgets I'm a human being. She never has.
"Michael?" she says suddenly as she turns to face me, "How can you stand it? How can you live locked up in here like this?" It's a question I ask myself a lot, probably too often.
"I can't," I reply honestly. Her face contorts into a frown and it almost breaks my heart. We don't really say anything for awhile after that.
"I'm sorry," she says finally, "I can't imagine what is must be like for you." To tell the truth I think she can. Like I said before she looks so alone most of the time.
"Robin?" I ask her, "What made you come to see me that night?" It's something that's nagged me. Was she doing it to simply be nice or did she maybe want something more?
"You looked lonely," explains Robin, "You looked like you needed a friend." I look her in the eye, hoping to catch something I know won't be there. Friend. It's an ugly word sometimes. It's a very cruel word when you want something more from someone. I feel myself nod. Robin gets up from her chair and pulls on her coat.
"Get some sleep," I advise her.
"You too," she replies with another half-smile. I watch her start to leave. She's going to get hurt. I know this as a simple fact. This is Amon we're talking about after all. Amon's the iceman, the emotionless professional. He doesn't get involved with people especially after what happened with Kate. What does she see in him? What made her choose him?
There's another curse to add to my list, the curse of being the nice guy. Nice guys don't get the girl no matter how hard they try. There's something about Amon's type, the brooding loner type, that draws nice, sweet girls like Robin to them. Maybe it's the fact they hide so much pain or that they keep everything so bottled up inside. Whatever it is it always attracts the girls. I watch Robin begin to fade out, the color of her dress blending seamlessly with the shadows. No, as long as there's an Amon around a Michael can never have a Robin.
"Robin," I say almost in a whisper. I think it was supposed to be a whisper but my mouth didn't get the memo. She turns to face me and waits for me to say something. I inwardly fumble for the rest of my thought. Those piercing green eyes glitter in the moonlight.
"Thank you," I finish, "for being my friend." It's not what I wanted to say. I wanted to tell her that I think she's beautiful, that maybe I'm in love with her.
"Always," she replies simply and then leaves. I stand there for a moment and let the lyrical sound of her voice hang in the air.
It will never work. She belongs to the outside, to the world I can only dream to be a part of again. She belongs out in the sunshine and the fresh air. She belongs to him whether or not he cares to notice it. No matter how much of a train wreck it may be, and believe me it'll be a big one I bet, she and Amon will be drawn together and I'll be left here alone in the dark. The only thing I can do is the one thing I always do, which is watch and observe. I am a nerd, a dork who never gets the girl. I am a nice guy and nice guys never win.