Disclaimer: Hellsing belongs to Kouta Hirano. The quotes belong to different sources like the Bible, Dracula, Oscar Wilde, among others.

Author's Notes: Set in manga vol. 4, after the meeting. I dedicated this piece to Essie Aster, hopefully it's not as bad in her standards. The motive to write this fic is to show what real alternative/crack/rare pairings are supposed to be.

Special Thanks: Essie Aster, my editor.


'Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.'

Heinkel adjusted her spectacles, barely discerning her path in the dark. She disliked England, even on such cloudless night like this one, the mist was a nuisance, and she had to be careful with each step. Wolfe was looking forward returning to the Holy See. If only Yumi or Father Anderson possessed some self-control, Maxwell would not have had to bring her as bodyguard during the briefing with Hellsing and the high British dignitaries.

It was a blessing that Enrico had sent her to a mission in Lancaster after. Heinkel craved for some action after the political bantering she was forced to endure.

The sister stopped and bent down to the sight of her targets, hiding behind a white tombstone. Gathered around a fresh grave, a group of veiled people dug the blessed soil. They were wearing black leather and animal furs, and for now they appeared oblivious of Wolfe's presence. Bodies snatchers, presumed necrophiliacs according to the reports. Such activities had increased in St. Mary Roman Catholic Cemetery lately, at least two robberies per week for the last four months. Iscariot would not tolerate the blasphemy any longer.

Heinkel waited until she was certain not all were carrying weapons. She was not afraid of dying in the line of duty, but if she died the heathens would surely profane her cadaver. The mere thought of that disgusted her.

She heard a dry sound, the shovels hitting a hard surface. The anticipation grew on the crowd, some descended to aid the rest in retrieving the coffin. Heinkel could not remain hidden; they would not defile another Catholic. Smirking, she raised, her hands slid inside her long coat, resting on her guns.

"Guten Avenid," Heinkel greeted, marching towards the group with the utmost calm. They turned to face her; Wolfe did not need to see beneath their masks to sense their astonishment.

"W-who are you?!"

"I came to deliver a message," Heinkel commented, glancing at them. They had not pulled out any firearm yet. Instead the idiots waved their shovels in the air in an attempt to look threatening. She was far from impressed.

"A message? Get away from here!" one growled, advancing in her direction. Heinkel's smirk deepened, her shades fell off to the middle of her nose revealing her eyes.

"Ja," she replied before adding, "Neither shall he go in to any dead body, nor defile himself for his father, or for his mother. Amen." Upon finishing quoting the Leviticus, Heinkel loaded her twin Desert Eagles to open fire without further warning. The culprit who had the cheek to move closer fell on the ground with a hole on his forehead. Soon his partners in crime threw themselves against the Iscariot agent using the garden tools as weapons. Heinkel dodged their clumsy attacks with ease, taking a few steps back as she emptied her clips to end their pitiful existences.

One by one they perished, most in the clash, others, more cowardly, when they tried to flee and desert their mates. The bullets pierced their brains, lungs and hearts, striking in lethal zones.

While Wolfe was replacing the ammunition, one snuck behind her, hitting her back with the shovel. Heinkel collapsed, dropping the pistols in the fall. She could taste her own blood on her mouth; her head was spinning as she attempted to rise to renew the battle. How the hell that one managed to pass her defences? She certainly had not seen him near her. Heinkel did not have time to wonder or recover her guns; the fiend struck once more, kicking her in the stomach. Wincing, Wolfe doubled on the ground in pain as her lungs struggled for air. "I think I'll kill you slowly then shag your corpse," the man snapped hatefully. "You ruined the initiation, bitch."

Narrowing her eyes, Heinkel rolled over the floor and grasped one of the fallen shovels. Cringing at the effort of lifting the heavy tool with her injured shoulders, Wolfe jolted the man with all her strength. Her plan backfired; it was like hitting a brick wall. Heinkel bit down a shriek, collapsing at his feet. She felt so powerless. The man chuckled and reached for her, pulling Heinkel to her feet as if she was a child. His touch… it was devoid of warmth, as cold as the cadavers he defiled. At that distance, Heinkel recognized the features. They belonged to the man she shot first. The hole of his forehead was gone, healed without leaving a trace. Her eyes widened in realization.

"Nosferatu… Midian…" Heinkel spat, cursing inwardly for leaving her silver ammunition at the Diocese. What foolish mishap of her part, utter idiocy.

"You should thank me, you know? Soon you'll meet your beloved Maker…" the vampire chuckled, tightening the grip round her neck, suffocating Heinkel. She felt her conscious started to slip when the fiend stopped her actions. "Who is there?!"

Cracking an eye open, Heinkel surveyed the surroundings until she found the source of the Midian's fear: Alucard, Hellsing's ace of death. What is the Hellsing's dog doing here? She could only assume that Alucard was probably hunting that vampire.

"Who are you? Answer!"

Heinkel followed Alucard's every move; he was smirking devilishly at the foul circumstance she was in.

"Trash disposal unit, that's all a low life like you needs to know," was Alucard's response before he focused his attention solely on Heinkel. "I'm sensing a déjà vu coming." His fangs glittered in a malicious light as the sky turned crimson. "I take you're a virgin…" he stretched out his right arm, aiming what Heinkel identified it as the Casull, the silver one. Iscariot saved complete descriptions of the weaponry of Hellsing, and she had bothered to read them.

Heinkel cocked a brow. What blazes was the vampire talking about?

"Hellsing," The vampire muttered, snaking his arm around Heinkel's neck and using her body as shield. "Shoot and she will die."

"One Catholic less in the world," Alucard laughed, slowly pulling up the trigger. "Tragic loss."

Heinkel realized the tame leech had no intentions to help her; it was hardly surprising but indeed agitated her. She would not die, not that night in such embarrassing circumstances. But she carried no weapons. Except…

As fast as she could manage Wolfe snagged the cross pendant off of her neck. Her hands were already free, and her captor was distracted enough by Alucard's presence. "Amen!" she hissed, shoving the holy item on his face where it burned the impure flesh. The vampire screamed in pain and tossed Heinkel towards the opened tomb. She barely felt the bullet that had put an end to the vampire graze against her cheek as she fell. God had smiled at Wolfe through the ordeal. When she finally hit the ground Heinkel's head cracked against the lid of the closed coffin, and she collapsed, unconscious.


Where was she now? Water, she was inside a liquid body. It moistened her skin and clothes as she sank slowly into the crimson river. In the distance Heinkel heard a chorus of wails and moans, hundreds suffering, thousands, millions even! She was starting to feel dizzy and weak, loosing the strength needed to swim.

Wolfe opened her mouth, tasting the liquid in which she was immersed. The flavour was metallic, coppery, and salty. The stench of a very well known scent overwhelmed her. Blood! She was drowning in a sea of blood! Her fighting spirit rekindled, and she fought to reach the surface. But she was too weak. Her vision turned red, there was blood everywhere, and she still could hear the cries of the sufferers.

Even in her state, Heinkel distinguished a voice among out the endless noises that threatened to drive her insane. Yumi's.

"The history of the Church is the history of battles."

Yumi! Heinkel wanted to scream, but she refrained. The blood would enter to her system if she did that. Suddenly someone reached for her. Spidery fingers closed on the collar of her clothes and pulled her out. Wolfe coughed up the haemoglobin once she was outside. She looked down. The vessel in which she was travelling was not a boat. It was a cross.

"And the battles produced all this quantity of blood, over and over again."

Heinkel snapped and looked in the direction of her saviour. It was a young man dressed in a crimson fur coat and breeches. He was using a sword as oar. Despite the hideous moustache he was sporting, Heinkel recognized who he was, the Hellsing's demon dog, Alucard.

"They vere necessary to establish the influence of the Holy See," she argued, eyes flickering with fanaticism.

"Take a look at the shores," Alucard said with a low chuckle.

Heinkel's brows furrowed, glancing in the indicated direction. Holy men and women - priests, cardinals, popes, sisters, monks - all gathered to watch the pain of the people while drinking goblets filled with the blood that had been shed by them. She grimaced at the sight. What they were doing? She balked at them, unable to tear away her gaze. That was against the scriptures!

"Scriptures? What do you know about them?" She heard he taunted. "You call vampires blood drinking fiends while your Church yearned for the intoxicating flavour more than we do."

Heinkel returned her attention to Alucard, shooting a piercing glare "That's a lie, demon!" She tried to lunge at him, but her body would not obey her. It was as if invisible strings held her to her place.

"Is it? Weren't the most infamous vampires former knights for the purpose of your religion? I'm the unliving proof."

"As the Devil used to be the most faithful angel, they fell from Grace."

"Then you're fallen as well? Or will you deny the fact that you crave to see the blood of those pathetic excuses for human beings spilled on the floor, splattered on your skin and robe?"

Heinkel blinked, taken aback. She could not deny her thirst for killing the heathens but it was not bad, they broke the laws of the Lord!


Heinkel abandoned her musings to pay attention once more. Alucard was now at mere inches of her. "You're just trying to confuse me… It won't work." Her logic was overcome by her stiff fanaticism; Wolfe would not concede him a point in the reasoning.

"You forget that the Devil works under God's designs. Your Creator placed him to scorn humanity," his tone was like a whisper carried by the wind. It made her very soul shiver. How could Hellsing stand this creature in her home? "Would it be so bad to fall under temptation?"

At his question, the blood that was soaking her from head to toes started to burn. It did not injure her, but rather was like an unquenched heat that burned her. Bloodlust. She gnashed her teeth, trying to assert control on her articulations but it seemed like a waste of time. Her senses awoke when Alucard silt open his chest.

Thou shalt abstain, renounce, refrain. Heinkel squeezed her eyes shut, biting her tongue to taste her blood instead. It was a torture to fight off the temptation of power, the ways to better fulfil her holy mission: to punish. She tried to shake off that line of thinking before it was too late.

"Flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood," the Midian laughed, grabbing Heinkel and pulling her close to the bleeding gash. "Kin of my kin. That's your Saviour's message! Embrace it! Accept it! You've already started with your violence!"

Heinkel's lips parted, falling into a hypnotic state, and moved to place her mouth on the cut. Meanwhile, Alucard whispered promises in her mind. She saw heretic cities crumble to her very whims, victims of the sins they committed. Wolfe saw herself as an avenging angel with shadowy winds that brought the divine punishment forever. Only a small sip and they would suffer for the offences. His fingers brushed her hair, tangled and thickened from her splash inside the scarlet liquid.

Her skin made contact with his cold flesh. That stopped her, the reminder that Alucard was a walking corpse, not a holy creature that brought God's message. Heinkel growled, jerking her head away from the gash. She took advantage of his momentary surprise to grab his sword and stabbed it through his chest. A geyser of dark liquid erupted, spraying her body with it.

"Generous of you to offer your blood, Nosferatu! But I've my vays to take it!" Heinkel breathed hard, dropping the weapon at her feet. She wiped away the drops from her face with her hand before noticing she was contributing to the stain. Wolfe stared at his fallen corpse. That had been dangerously close for her comfort. She would forget her lapse of control after she confessed to Father Renaldo. Wolfe told herself this, but she knew it was a lie. She knew that now her sleep would be haunted by the secret longing of power, the desire for more and more blood. The demon had planted the seeds of doubt in her mind, and they would continue grow as time progressed.

"You feel it, don't you? The doubt is clouding your judgement already." His mocking, dis-bodied voice informed her. She looked around, trying to find the demon's hiding place. "Some say that the only way to get the rid of the temptation is to yield it…"

Suddenly the giant cross Heinkel was on began to shake. Dozens of hands came out of the crimson ocean and shook the cross. They were calling her name through groans. Wolfe lost her balance and fell inside of the mass of waiting arms. She recognized the faces of people she had assassinated in the past. She needed to be stronger to fight them off without a weapon. The zombies were mercilessly lashing her body.

'Take a sip, just a small taste,' a voice so similar to hers suggested. Heinkel felt like Eve conversing with the serpent.

Bracing herself, the core of her being screamed in defiance. "Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men!"

The assaulting crowd disappeared, so did the blood. Heinkel faded to a complacent darkness before passing out.


When she awoke Heinkel was still on top of the coffin, inside the hole the weak vampire had tossed her in to. A groan of pain escaped her lips as she realized it had all been a nightmare, a dream induced by the Nosferatu. She touched her face. To her surprise the bruises and traces of blood were gone, replaced by thick saliva. Wolfe paled. Alucard had licked her wounds.

If I were armed, that fiend would pay dearly. Her teeth clenched and, her hands closed into fists. How had that dog dared to touch her?!

'Oh please, hurt me. I'll enjoy it,' she heard him whispered inside her mind, followed by a howl. Heinkel grunted, sitting up to better study her surroundings. On the edge of the excavation a large hound with eight red eyes was staring at her intensely. The hellhound lapped at the remains of blood on his muzzle. 'You taste good for a Catholic, altar girl. And I thought only the Paladin was fun to play games with…'

Altar girl? Heinkel huffed, attempting to rise. "Keep laughing at God's envoys, Nosferatu," she smirked darkly. "Ve'll have the final laugh."

'That's what I used to believe. Hundreds of years ago. I'm still waiting for the time of the reckoning.' The hellhound swept something in her direction. A silver object fell, she looked down. One of her Desert Eagles. 'It's the hellhound hunting season, you know.'

Heinkel picked up and checked the clip. It was full. She hiked a brow. Had the vampire replaced it for a new one? But I've my clips inside…

'The inner pockets hidden in that coat, just over your chest…
' The dog sat, his tongue rolled up in a picture of fake innocence. 'I must add you do a good job hiding the real size of them under those clothes. What is with modern women and men clothing?'

Heinkel blushed in embarrassment and rage. She aimed at the hellhound and fired. Alucard ducked with ease. 'You missed…' he mocked.

Calm down
, Heinkel told herself. He's just tempting me again. She would not play his mind games anymore. No matter how she longed to fill his canine body with bullets. It would be a waste of ammunition.

'What is it? Maybe I should tackle you to entice you, altar girl?'

Heinkel glowered but remained still. And lead us not into temptation, she repeated to herself, each time more firmly. And lead us not into temptation. By then she felt soil falling towards her head. She stared at the hellhound who was starting to fill the hole with earth once more. Another dirty trick to amuse himself by her expense? And lead us not into-

"Damn it all to hell!" Heinkel exclaimed, re-cocking her Desert Eagle and climbed out the tomb. This time his blood would splatter her cloth for real.