Author's Note: Uh...this is one long chapter to write. I'm sooo tired, and my shoulders have cramped, and I feel like grumbling, and you people better like this chapter, and I am so tired. /cries/ but I can go to bed. That's right! I can go to bed. Yah!
Good night. And thanks all for the reviews.
The Taito Project
Attempt 2 - The Letter
Objectives: To successfully imitate Yagami's handwriting with the purpose of forging a love letter, to deliver this letter with Yagami's signature to Ishida's locker, and to observe the effect of too much stress on the phenomenon Ichijouji Ken. Method is debatable.
Leader of Operation: Ichijouji Ken (Because we don't trust Takaishi anymore)
Materials: Various samples of Yagami's awful handwriting, Ichijouji Ken to forge the product, pens, pencils, paper, envelope, and weapon of mass destruction (Namely, Daisuke as a fatal distraction to Kaiser in case Ichijouji has a nervous breakdown and tries to take over the world again).
Genius of the Week: Ichijouji Ken (Izzy had a fork fight with Daisuke over this title. He lost. Badly.)
1. Hikari will steal Taichi's past school notes, if he didn't burn them all.
2. Lock Ichijouji in a tiny room without food until he can successfully imitate Yagami's writing.
3. Upon completion of step 2, note stress level of Ichijouji by recording state of hair and nails, color of eyes, are they bloodshot?
4. Compose a mushy, poetic love letter of impressive length and make Ichijouji copy it out. (Note: Letter should be written in lavender ink on pale pink paper)
5. Upon completion of step 4, note stress level of Ichijouji by recording state of hair and nails, color of eyes, are they bloodshot?
6. Put the final product in a bright pink envelope, and seal with crimson heart stickers.
7. It may be wise to make several handwritten copies of the letter. Ishida is an unpredictable, sexy, beautiful, sexy, moody, sexy...guy. Anyway...this is a good idea...
8. Upon completion of step 7, note stress level of Ichijouji by recording state of hair and nails, color of eyes, are they bloodshot? (Note: If Ichijouji shows any signs of instability, activate weapon of mass destruction immediately. In plainer words, feed Daisuke chocolate.)
9. Slide one copy of the product into Ishida's locker.
10. Observe results using the fine art of spying. Do hide any signs of over excitement.
11. Check: Is Ichijouji still alive? Is Daisuke still alive?
He'd never liked coffee. The thick, bitter black liquid was too different from the sweetness of chocolate.
Chocolate and Daisuke. Ken caught himself with the most disgusting grin on his face, and quickly shook his head to clear it. Horrible! He was getting too soft in his old age. Maybe he was coming down with something. Yeah, that's it. Cold and ruthless genius boy could not be found sappy. He was just tired.
Which brought his attention back to the steaming cup in his hands, and he wrinkled his nose in distaste.
Why the others had chosen this time of all times to launch operation 2 was beyond him. Didn't they know he had midterms? Even Daisuke knew to give him some room during exam week. He had a reputation to keep, after all. And forging a love letter was the least of his worries.
He bit back a yawn, wondering when that awful coffee would kick in. He hated falling asleep in class.
"Hey," a voice snapped rather rudely from behind. "No drinks in the computer lab."
Ken felt one corner of his mouth twitch up in an evil smirk, and he tilted his head back pointedly to drain the last bit of his coffee.
"Still sore about losing the duel, are we?"
Koushiro drew himself up to his full height, which wasn't much, and said in a very dignified voice, "just because your boyfriend have...unique ways of handling a fork, doesn't mean you are smarter than the rest of us."
Ken studied his perfectly trimmed nails. "Really."
"And you are here because..."
"All the materials are gathered. We are good to go."
"That's too bad, because I'm not good to go."
"You can't at least check the samples? See if it's good enough for you to work with?"
"I'm very busy, Izzy."
"If what we have right now is not acceptable, then we have to raid Yagami's bedroom again. And we need to do that now if you don't like what we have."
"I have two midterms tomorrow."
"Daisuke will be there."
"He's looking through Yagami's notes."
Koushiro backed up at this point because Ken appeared to be outraged.
"Him! Looking at Yagami's notes?" Ken let out a string of colorful curse words in French, Japanese, and Greek. "Daisuke can only ever look at my school notes!"
"Because he's mine!"
Koushiro ducked a flying coffee cup.
In a whirlwind of Kaiser cape...er...normal school uniform, Ichijouji stormed out of the computer lab.
"Wait!" Koushiro ran after him. "You don't know where they are!"
Koushiro led Ken to a room with a closed door.
Ken burst through the door in a fit of rage only to find it empty of his dear traitorous Daisuke.
Koushiro shoved him further in and locked the door.
Ken had been tricked.
There would be no food, no Daisuke, no plans on getting the highest mark in class until he managed to forge Yagami's handwriting.
He wasn't calm enough to curse in 5 different languages.
Ken simply screamed.
Ken managed to forge Yagami's writing. He used this newfound skill to curse Koushiro in writing using 20 different languages. He also made a mental note to tell Daisuke to hurt the other boy, with a fork.
The other digidestined observed with mild interest that his nails were less perfectly trimmed than normal, and that his eyes were slightly bloodshot.
Jyou was sent out to buy chocolate.
As leader of current operation, Ken had no choice but to...well, lead the operation.
His eyes were sore from trying to write with as awful a color as lavender. Kaiser's maniacal laugher was louder in his head than usual, and only the thought of chocolate covered Daisuke prevented him from killing anyone.
His eyes were definitely bloodshot when he handed the completed letter to Takeru. And the others noted with some dismay the messy state of his hair.
They begun to worry Jyou hadn't bought enough chocolate.
Hikari was sent out to find Daisuke.
Ken slipped the bright pink envelope into Ishida's locker, glaring at a couple of open mouthed girls who were staring in stunned silence. They scattered like pigeons and Ken stalked around the corner to where his worthless, mindless...er wonderful friends were crouching.
"Did you do it?" Takeru asked.
Takeru shut up.
They peered around the edge of the wall, watching as Ishida strode to his locker, followed by hordes of fan girls. Ishida undid the combination lock, and the locker door burst open, showering the blonde in an avalanche of pink and red fan mail.
By Ishida's calm expression, one could safely assume this to be relatively...normal.
He shook some flower pedals off of his hair, sent his fan club scurrying with one well placed, Yagami-trained Ishida glare, which of course had no effect on said Yagami whatsoever.
Every single scrap of pink and red was collected with vengeance, stomped on, crumpled, and dumped into the garbage.
Somewhere down the hall, an Ichijouji screamed.
Takeru speed dialed Hikari's number.
Weapon of mass destruction must be activated now. Did Jyou buy enough chocolate?
Plan B: Ken was stealthy enough at lunch to place another copy of the awful letter in Ishida's bag. The letter had a better chance of being discovered this way, and all that remained was spying...er observation.
Yagami had a little soccer game with his team mates during lunch break. It was noted with extreme glee that Ishida ate much faster in the absence of Yagami. The blonde rushed out of the cafeteria immediately after finishing his food. The digidestined were graceful enough to give him 2 seconds, before they followed.
Ichijouji was gritting his teeth as they hid themselves. Takeru popped another piece of chocolate into Daisuke's mouth, who promptly latched on to his evil genius. Ken's smile was unnerving.
Ishida had seated himself somewhere on the bleachers, as close to the field as possible. He took a book out and pretended to read.
Yagami ran away from the soccer game to pounce his best friend. An interesting tickling match ensued, and Ishida lost. Badly.
Yagami whispered something into Ishida's ear. Ishida shook his head violently. Yagami whispered again, poking a particularly ticklish spot for emphasis, and Ishida gave in. The two grabbed their stuff, and...left.
"We lost the target," Koushiro had the nerve to say.
Ichijouji's fingers were twitching.
Takeru tore open a full package of chocolate and crammed it all into Daisuke's mouth.
"You were poking me!"
"I was threatened."
"Yama," Yamato gasped as he was grabbed and pinned against the wall. "You promised."
He sniffed dramatically. "Fine."
Sigh. He looked left, then right. The back alley was deserted. He placed his hands on Taichi's shoulders and touched his lips to the other boy's cheek.
"Yes! Ishida Yamato has kissed me in public! Mwahahahahahahaha!"
"Shut up! You are such an idiot!"
Taichi grinned at his kawaii blushing boyfriend. "Did you make more cookies for me?"
Another sniff in disdain. "You don't deserve them."
"Yaaammmaaa. I looooove you."
"Gah!" Yamato jumped, covering Taichi's mouth. "Not so loud, okay okay, I'll get your damn cookies."
"You are so kawaii, little Yama-chan."
Yamato glared, one hand in his bag. "I am not kawaii."
He paused suddenly. "What's this?" There was a bright pink envelope in his bag.
"Gah!" Taichi shuddered. "Fan mail. Burn it! Destroy it! Hurry!"
Yamato was just going to toss it when the writing on the envelope caught his eye. He glanced at Taichi, then at the envelope, and back at Taichi again.
Wordlessly Yamato tore open the envelope to read the letter within.
"Taichi," he said, a few tense moments later. "Are you feeling all right?"
Taichi could only gape as Yamato checked him for signs of fever. "I'm fine," he managed to croak out finally.
Yamato appeared to be horrified. "You wrote me a love letter. You...wrote...me... a love letter."
"But this is your writing. And God it's a love letter!"
"I didn't write it!"
Taichi grabbed the letter and squinted at the lavender ink. "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? That's Shakespeare! Do I know Shakespeare, Yama? Hmm?"
Yamato thought for a moment. "You failed everything to do with Shakespeare in English."
Taichi sagged in relief now that his boyfriend wasn't hyperventilating. "Exactly."
"I bet it's Ken, or Koushiro. What a prank."
Yamato didn't reply.
"It is strange, Taichi. Last week they locked us in a closet for no reason. And now they've gone to all the trouble of forging your writing. What are they up to?"
They looked at each other.
"They are not trying to set us up, are they?"
Silence, then Yamato started laughing.
"They...we...you...ha ha ha ha ha."
Taichi shook him.
"Trying to set us...up..."
Sighing in defeat, Taichi decided to wait it out.
When Yamato had calmed down at last, Taichi asked hopefully, "can we tell them now?"
Yamato shook his head.
"I want to see what else they try. This should be most entertaining."
And there we go with the hysterical laughing again.
Taichi would have been annoyed, except Yamato looked so...kawaii.
"You are kawaii," he said.
A couple of pigeons were startled out of their nests at the shriek that statement invoked.
"Yagami! I am NOT kawaii!"
Report: No change in the relationship between Yagami and Ishida can be observed. As it is unclear at the moment whether Ishida had read the letter, it is concluded that no further copies of the letter should be distributed. A meeting shall take place immediately to catalyze the formation of new plans.
The Effect of too much Stress on Ichijouji: Disastrous. Don't ever try this again. Ichijouji is dangerously close to bringing back Kaiser. We have observed bloodshot eyes, bitten nails, messed up hair, and feral grin.
Recommended Reversal of Ichijouji behavior: Send Daisuke with Ken on a seven day trip to a remote cabin in the woods. Given a considerable amount of sugar and the Kaiser whip, we are ninety five percent confident that Ichijouji will recover completely.
Attempt Two Failed.
Rubisco. Is. An. Enzyme.