Ninja Rap Is Born!

(From front page)

Patrons of Malik's Night Spot received more than expected tonight when an unannounced group of highly unusual performers burst onto the scene.

The popular dance hall was filled to capacity due to a special appearance by rap sensation Vanilla Ice.

Ice and his entourage were laying out his latest chart-topper when a large upright turtlecrashed head first through a side entrance, stunning the audience.

He was followed by an even larger "wolf-man" and a huge snapping turtle with a spike-covered shell.

The first turtle was then joined by three similar turtles.

The four smaller amphibians displayed exceptional martial arts skills in their act, which involved subduing the two larger mutant creatures.

One audience member, whose silk tie was comandeered by one of the "Ninja Turtles", recognized the display as ninjutsu, an ancient form of Japanese martial art.

It seemed audience participation was very much a part of this act.

"My girlfriend was made a part of the act! This guy in a cape and this weird spiked helmet grabbed her and threatened her on stage," an excited regular attendee exclaimed, "And you should have seen these guy's costumes! They couldn't have looked any more real!"

Special guest Vanilla Ice was somewhat startled by the impromptu performance, but added to it with a quick decision to debut his latest single, named coincidentally enough "Ninja Rap" !

The single is not due to be released in stores until early next month.

"We had no idea where they came from, or went afterwards," night club owner Salvatore Malik told reporters.

"I have a high code of safety, and my club was already at maximum capacity when these...turtles showed up. My partner (Tony Marellis) contacted police, but my patrons were enjoying themselves, so I decided to let it go for awhile."

The excitement was added to by the arrival of several other actors dressed in full black clan gear, which the turtles then disposed of, after an illusion rivalling any act seen on Broadway, turned the wolf-man and snapping turtle "back" into a normal galapagos tortoise and a young husky.

The turtles launched into a coordinated dance after ridding the hall of the black-clad Ninjas, which quickly swept through the audience and will no doubt be taken up in the streets in the days to come.