Title: Atlantis Confessions

Author: Nopporn Wongrassamee aka The Evil Author

Summary: The crew of Stargate: Atlantis have some deep, dark secrets.

Disclaimer: The characters and settings belong to whoever owns them. I'm just too lazy to look up who they are.

I am Doctor Elizabeth Weir, Vampire Slayer.

For just over a year now, I've been having strange dreams. I've been feeling more vigorous than I have in years. Stronger. I didn't think about it much at the time.

Just days before I stepped through the Stargate to Atlantis, a young man and woman approached me. They explained what a Slayer was, how we were destined to fight the "Forces of Darkness". They told me about vampires.

They also gave me a choice. As there were many Slayers now, I could choose to fight the forces of Darkness or I could just go on with my life.

I chose to go on with my life of course, a decision I'm told that is not uncommon among older Slayers who already have pre-existing careers. After all, there were plenty of younger girls ready and willing to save the world. And though I couldn't tell them, I was doing my part to save the world as well. In a few days, I was going to lead a mission to Atlantis. I was going to meet the Ancients who would of course provide Earth with the means to defend itself from the Goa'uld.

The people who told me about Slayers also left me a warning. Whatever I chose, Slayers were inevitably drawn to fighting evil. Sooner or later, I would have to fight.

Now, I'm in charge of Atlantis in the Pegasus galaxy. The Ancients had long since left. The Wraiths, our greatest threat, are a race of space vampires. The irony is enough to make me cry on some nights.

And on some nights, I have an urge to poke a Wraith with a wooden stick.

I am Doctor Rodney McKay.

I am Immortal. In fact, I'm the only Immortal on the Atlantis team and – so far as I can tell – the only one in the entire Pegasus galaxy. That's good. I came out here to get away from the Game, the endless rounds of challenges and swordfights and decapitations. Of course, I haven't fought many – well, any – other Immortals. What I know about the Game was passed on by a friendly Immortal I met. I suck at sword fighting.

Unfortunately, Pegasus has the Wraiths. These guys can suck the life out of you until you die. Unfortunately, in my case, I'll probably just get up again when they kill me. If the Wraiths get their hands on me, I'll become their eternal buffet. Isn't that a lovely thought?

That's assuming of course that I'm not forever trapped inside an invulnerable forcefield, lost floating in the vacuum of deep space or any of a thousand other accidents that have yet to happen to me.

I am so screwed.

I am Doctor Carson Beckett.

I just broke the screen on my laptop. Seeing as how the nearest spare parts store is a bazillion light years away in another galaxy, every piece of working equipment we have is a precious resource. I suppose one of the techs could jury-rig something with some Ancient's tech, but that doesn't seem right with so much else that needs to be done.

I wouldn't have dropped my laptop if I hadn't been distracted. Dr. Mobutu in linguistics passed on a disturbing piece of trivia today. Well, it wouldn't have been disturbing to anyone else, but I'm different.

Seeing there's no one around, I draw a wand out. I wave it over my laptop and mutter "Reparo." An instant later, the computer is as good as new.

Sitting in that chair back in Antarctica had been like holding the world's biggest wand. That's a scary thought considering how many times I've blown up Professor Flitwick's classroom.

It seems that there were two types of Ancients. There were those who had the gene to control Ancient technology, and those who didn't. The ones who didn't were called "Muggles".

I am Major John Shepherd.

I "forgot" to get MilPay to automatically send alimony payments to my ex-wife. That's bad, right?