Of Love, Hate, and Other Crap

Notes from author: Hello. I'm gamer201, your author today. And maybe for a few months too. I'd like to start off by saying this is my first fanfic ever, so please try to excuse any poor layout, other problems you find, or my overall... Well, let's say lack of motivation. I recently invested in a PS2 and have to say, I'm enjoying it at all hours of the day. Now then, this is going to be a bit of a romance fic, but of course with an evil bastard in there trying to kill or kidnap people. Sonic/Amy, Tails/Cream, Knuckles/Rouge, all the favorite combinations. There will be a few... hardcore scenes in this one, so if you're not mature enough to handle that, stop reading, hit AltF4, and come back when you're 13 or older. Also, I will try to put up one chapter a week, 2 if I feel like it, but only if I begin to get reviews. Good or bad doesn't matter, but I'm not going to write for nothing. Also, every so often I'll try to sum up events so far. If this is a problem, bite me.

Disclaimer: Sonic the Hedgehog and other affiliated characters are copyright to Sega and I do not own them in any way, shape, or form. This fic is also not authorized by Sega. There, I said it. Now, by no stretch of the imagination will one be able to find some excuse to sue me over this. If anyone wishes to challenge that, we'll have a battle of wits and wallets in court, and I will win. Because I'm good like that. Oh, check this out. It's my definition of the word "disclaimer". Note that this may or may not have been influenced by the movie "Dogma," but it probably was.

disclaimer (dis-CLAIM-er) n. - a statement made to save one's own ass

How true. Now on with the actual friggin' story... Oh, wait, hold up. Almost forgot. I don't really have any extensive knowledge about the Sonic series or a lot of the characters, so bear with me here. I'll try to avoid putting down things that make me look like a dumbass.


CHAPTER 1: A Slight Problem

Just another typical afternoon for the Chaotix Detective Agency. No work for weeks, bills to pay(high ones at that), and the door in need of repairs after Espio had thrown one too many kunais at it. Espio(the aforementioned chameleon ninja) was standing in his usual spot, on the right in the back corner where he could see the entire office, and out the window. Of course, his eyes were closed, as though he were meditating. Sitting at the very cluttered desk in the middle of the small, grimy office, with his feet up, was Vector, a huge gator with a bit of a passion for music(mostly rock). Charmy, the small bee with a maturity level the complete opposite of his two co-workers and the IQ of a cannoli, was nowhere to be seen. He was supposedly out pollinating the flowers, being that it was the springtime, but Vector had reason to believe he was out pollinating a flower of a different variety. He WAS just reaching puberty at the age of 12, and naturally his hormones would be starting to think for him, instead of his mind(not to mention he'd taken to sharpening his stinger so it would look impressive for the girls). But, no accusations were made on this point, the idea being that as long as Charmy ran wild and didn't worry about what Vector or Espio thought, the decibel level of the office would be kept to a minimum(not to mention the complaints about being bored). But, not all good things are meant to last, as Espio looked up, straightened up and opened his eyes at the sound of a little kid crying. Even Vector could hear it through his headphones, which were blasting music so loud it's a surprise Espio wasn't bothered by it. Sure enough, seconds later, the door was thrown open and Charmy came buzzing in, bawling for all he was worth. He was holding his swollen left hand tightly in his right, almost cutting off circulation. Neither Vector nor Espio had a chance to ask.

"WAAAAAAAAH! SOMEONE GET ME A BAND-AID!" wailed the little bee. "I STUNG MYSELF AGAIN!"

"Hmph," grunted Espio, leaning back again. "I thought you had the sense to stop trying to sharpen your stinger with that little file of yours after you stung yourself the fourth time. Obviously I was wrong."

"BUT IT HUUUUUUUUUUURTS!"

"Ah, all right, Charmy, jeez!" Vector sat up with a groan, pulled open a drawer, and tossed a box of Band-Aids to Charmy. The little bee instantly let go of his hand, caught the box, and within seconds had torn it apart, grabbed 3 of the sticky little strips of plastic, and applied them to his hand with the dexterity of a 6-year-old who's just eaten a huge bowl of sugar.

"Ah, much better," Charmy sighed with relief(ah, the power of suggestion(at the time I'm writing this, I'm learning about it in psychology class)). He turned around in midair and looked back outside through the still-open door. A red car had pulled up during all the commotion and someone was getting out. "Hey, look! We might have a client!"

"WHAT?" Vector jumped up, grabbed a huge handful of the various drawings off the desktop, and shoved them into the drawer the Band-Aids had come from(don't wanna look like a dumbass in front of a client, right?). By this point, Charmy could make out who was coming toward the door.

"Wait a second, it's just that girl Amy Rose, the one who's always chasing around that Sonic guy," he commented. "Maybe she's coming to say hello! We haven't seen her for years, right?"

"Anyone could be a client, Charmy," replied Espio in his low voice. "Even if she's not, though, we should still keep the office looking at least somewhat orderly, in case she plans to refer someone else to us. Besides, who would come on a social call when we all had a big fight then wound up trying to fight off a giant robot? That's certainly not the best way to make friends."

"Oh yeah," Charmy muttered, suddenly feeling like a complete dumbass. At this point, a pink hedgehog of 18 walked in carrying a black leather purse on one shoulder: Amy Rose. She was wearing the same attire as always: a red dress that turned into a miniskirt at the waist, white gloves, two large gold bracelets, and large red shoes up to her knees. She came in and sat down, setting her purse down beside her.

Vector straightened up and tried to look professional as he began. "Welcome to the Chaotix Detective Agency, Miss," he started. "We specialize in just about everything: locating missing persons, solving crimes, locating missing items, you name it. What can we do for you?

"Well," Amy replied, "I think I'm being followed around for some reason. Why I would be, I dunno. I was hoping at least one of you could keep an eye on me from a short distance to see if you noticed any odd characters who always happened to be going my way."

Vector took a glance over at Espio, then back at Amy."I think we can handle that."

"I take it I was just volunteered," Espio stated.

"Yep, you just were," Vector had a bit of a grin on his face. "This is right up your alley. I've never seen anyone who's better than you when it comes to being somewhere without being noticed."

"Hmph. Flattery is not necessary," replied the dark chameleon. His purple skin shined brightly in the light. If she hadn't already known what Vector had meant by that, Amy would have been very inclined to ask. She'd felt it firsthand six years before.

::FLASHBACK::

Suddenly, out of the blue, as she jumped into the air and tried to attack Charmy and send him flying into the raging river, Amy felt a huge impact in her chest as Espio crashed into her body, invisible, and sent her flying into the water instead.

::END INCREDIBLY SHORT FLASHBACK::

Amy hadn't been holding a grudge all this time, but she felt slightly irked every time she thought about it, mostly because she broke a nail trying not to drown, and her hair and clothes had been a complete mess when she finally reached dry land(not to mention what she did when she found out her piko piko hammer was still in there). Still, if this was the only way to solve her problem, she was willing.

"Well, alright, that I'll agree to, under one condition," she stated. "That being, he doesn't follow me into places like the bathroom or anywhere else where privacy is expected."

"Very well," Espio replied instantly: he'd been expecting her to say that. "I hadn't planned on following you quite that closely anyway. However, in public, act naturally. If you keep looking around for some sign that I'm watching you, and you are indeed being stalked, you'll probably scare off the stalker and prevent me from taking him down."

"Sounds easy enough. Would it be acceptable to discuss payment after the job's finished?"

"That'd be fine," Vector replied.

"Well then, you can start immediately," Amy said to Espio. Espio nodded once, then he jumped up into the air and vanished as a column of rotating air formed where he had just stood. His voice came out of nowhere.

"Anytime you're ready."


Well, there we have it. The first chapter of what I hope is gonna be many. Hope y'all enjoyed spending 5 minutes of your lives reading it. I know I enjoyed the hour I put into thinking it up and typing it(then dealing with the typos). As you should have noticed, I at least try to use proper grammar. Makes it easier to read. It was a bit short, I know, but it'll get better. R&R please(that means Read and Review, in case you don't know(not trying to sound sarcastic, but when I first saw "R&R" I was like "WTF?" Kinda took me a minute to figure out.)).