Darkroom

by WSJ

WSJ: *giggles* Well, I have a photo class this semester, and it's probably my favorite class, too. ^_^ And of course, whenever I find something particularly amusing or fun, I always try and convert it into a fanfic... :p So enjoy the insane humor at the expense of... everyone!

Warnings: Some cursing, some mature themes, and character bashing. Also some shonen-ai jokes, but they're just that, jokes, put in for humor's sake.

Bashing: ...Practically everyone. :p Mostly Tristan (because he's an idiot) and Kaiba and Yami (because it's so fun to tease them!)

Disclaimer: I own none of it, including the ideas for some of the photos, which came from my sister.

Summery: Yami Bakura seems to have developed a new hobby, courtesy of Ryou's photography class... Uh oh...

()()()()()

Ryou smiled as he dumped the last of the chemicals out of the canister and pried off the lid. He was standing by the sinks outside Domino High's darkroom, after school on a Monday afternoon. He'd just finished developing a roll of film he'd found in his camera last night, which he didn't remember taking. That was why he was here after school, in fact. Since the roll of film wasn't for school, he wasn't allowed to develop it during class. But since he had photo last period of the day anyway, his teacher was happy to let him stay late, as long as he cleaned up after himself.

Pulling the film off it's reel, Ryou held it up to the light so he could see what was on it. His eyes widened immediately upon seeing the tiny inverted images. "Oh dear..." Hurriedly he looked over the entire roll, his heart sinking to his toes. He just knew this would all end badly somehow. "Looks like Yami Bakura-kun is having as much fun in this class as I am..." he murmured weakly, wondering if he should warn everyone else.

Too late. Ryou Bakura blacked out, and the last thought on his mind was 'why me?' as he left Yami Bakura standing with a roll of very incriminating pictures.

Dun dun dun...

~*~

Seto Kaiba was used to being stared at, so that wasn't the problem. He often got long looks from passers-by because of his height or, more usually, his prominence in the business world. He really didn't mind staring.

No, what got him this lovely Tuesday morning were the whispers that went up as soon as anyone saw him, and the short looks darted at him from behind text books and partially closed doors. What had gotten into the school's population all of a sudden?

Scowling, Seto's normally cool stride morphed into something of a stalk as he headed for the front office. Likely the principal would know what was going on, even if Kaiba had to threaten the weasley little man to get it out of him. He stopped short, however, as he turned a corner into the main hall.

Students were jammed around the large message board that was used for posting test rankings. Fleetingly Seto wondered how he'd missed the fact that scores were being posted today, but then he shook his head, irritated. He knew nothing of importance was going up on that board today. So what was the big deal?

As he got closer, Yugi Moto pushed his way out of the crowd and hurried over to Seto, rubbing his Sennen Puzzle in what Seto had come to recognize as a worried gesture. "Kaiba-kun," Yugi said before Seto could speak up. Seto just raised an eyebrow, as everything about Yugi, from the way he was standing to the tone of his voice, screamed 'it's not my fault so please don't kill me'. "Before you get any closer I just want you to know that I had nothing to do with this. It wasn't Jounochi either, and it definitely wasn't the other me. I don't know who did it, Kaiba-kun." And with that he ducked his head and hurried away.

Seto stood still for a moment, blinking and trying to process what had just happened. Then he scowled and waded into the crowd, pushing students out of the way until he reached the board. What he saw made him stop dead and stare.

Stapled to the bulletin board were three pictures, blown up to 8x10 size. The one on the left showed the back of Malik Ishtar's head, as if it were taken over his shoulder. In his hands was a very.... uninnocent magazine. Not that it was really a surprise that Malik was reading porn.

The picture on the right was obviously Yami Yugi, although most idio- er, people would just assume it was Yugi. This picture was taken in profile, through a window, it looked like. Yami was sitting on the couch and laughing, and you could just barely make out the Teletubbies on the TV in front of him.

Kaiba spared these pictures barely a glance, although the one of Yami watching that evil British show did cause him to raise an eyebrow. But it was the picture in the center that really caught his attention and made his blood boil.

The center picture was a bedroom. The sheets on the bed were white, the comforter was frilly. The carpet was a lovely beige. But all this was lost among mountains of bears. Every space in the room that could hold a teddy bear was holding a teddy bear. Desk, shelves, bookcases, bed, all covered in bears. Worst of all was the sight of Seto Kaiba curled up on the bed asleep, hugging a ridiculous looking bear with a lace bow around its neck.

Kaiba felt his face burning in shame and embarrassment. He could claim he was set up, of course, but this wouldn't change the fact that someone had snuck into his house and photographed his room! Not even Mokuba had been allowed in there since he'd had it... er, redecorated. When he found out who took those pictures they'd be dead faster than you can say 'stupid dubbers!' No, better yet! Seto could sue these suckers blind!

Once he figured out who'd done it.

And who'd gotten to embarrass Yami before him. Damn!

It was only then that Seto noticed the note pinned to the board beneath the photos. Written in sparkly green ink in the sloppiest kanji Seto had ever seen, it said:

Not as perfect as you thought, are they?
~Phantom of the Darkroom

Seto growled, clenching his fists in anger as he suddenly became aware of students all around him whispering and pointing at him. Snatching the picture of his bear-infested room off the wall, Seto tore it into scraps and then stormed off.

Whoever had done this to his dignity was going to pay!

()()()()()

WSJ: Heh heh. Not to worry minna, there's plenty more where that came from, and plenty more cast members are going to get hit. Please don't send me any photo suggestions right now, as I have plenty of my own. When I start running out, I'll be sure and let ya'll know. ^_~

God bless minna-san!