CHAPTER 1 SUMMARY: Akira's mixed emotions about Yuya before her kidnapping. Some thoughts on Kyo. WARNING - Spoilers up to Volume 10 of the SDK MANGA.
CHAPTER 1 RATING: G
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Samurai Deeper Kyo anime, manga or any of its characters. Kamijyo Akimine is the true legal and spiritual owner.
I WOULD NEVER HURT YOU
I've been observing you for some time now.
You worrying over him.
Getting mad at him.
Begrudgingly buying him sake.
Taking care of him when injured.
And now, you sit there waiting.
Why him? Why does it always have to be him?
Don't you get tired of waiting? Are you obsessed? Is it because of the vendetta you seek in the honor of your brother's death?
Most would have abandoned him by now. But you haven't. And you don't seem on doing so anytime in the near future.
That intrigues me.
And in turn makes me not want to kill you.
I realize that I'm obsessed with him in my own way. Back when we all fought by his side, the others said that I worshipped him like one would an older brother. This is true. I couldn't began to repay him for taking me under his wing. For all the times that he protected me. Hurt me. Trained me. All the things that a good sibling does. He was a strong and a formidable swordsman. A fighter to be reckoned with. No fear, no attachments, no regrets.
But you're changing him. And I don't care for it.
Not. One. Bit.
There I go again, the protective little brother.
Just who do you think you are? He's slaughtered a thousand and he lets himself become affected with one look.
One look from you.
When I encountered him for the first time in four years, his behavior disgusted me. He almost showed concern towards you. Almost. But he caught himself just in time before the others saw it.
But I noticed.
You really are a distracting existence in his life.
And that irritates me.
It irritates me because this same samurai four years ago would never have lowered himself to such baser human emotions. And the few times that he did, the object of his distraction usually never lasted for long.
I've witnessed him inwardly struggling; trying to figure out how to deal with you.
Please don't misunderstand me. He certainly is confidant in his arrogant attitude towards you and I suspect the label for you as his "servant" is not a misnomer to him.
Nonetheless, he is changing due to your presence and I believe he has become disconcerted by it.
I personally don't know what to think of it.
One thing is for certain, this is not the path of reviving the infamous, feared warrior that I once knew.
What am I going to do with him?
What am I going to do with you?
Before I started observing you, I thought you were just one of his mindless minions who wouldn't have the patience nor the inclination to stick with him for long. Frankly, I didn't think you would survive past a day. After all, he isn't exactly the sociable, amiable sort.
But you proved to be otherwise. I've witnessed your courage of standing up to foes mightier than you for his sake. Your loyalty towards his purpose and the trust you place in his abilities are boundless. The respect you display through deeds, not words are definitely evident. You understand him. And he tolerates you. It's a combination I've not had privy to in quite some time.
When I finally met you in person the other day, you spoke to me with compassion and energy that is quite a rarity in this time and age. That's when I realized how much you resemble HER.
One of my expertise is to sense true feelings and emotions within a person. So although I can't "see" you, my ability allows me to attest to so much more. And I unfortunately took the time to scrutinize you. Unlike most people, you weren't repulsed by me. You never questioned or were repelled by my unusually white hair or my lack of sight. You treated me with extraordinary kindness. Your aura remained soft and true.
Damn me for having these thoughts.
Is this how he feels?
Like older brother, like younger brother . . .
The faith you place in that man frustrates me beyond all reason.
Your blind faith in the human race as a whole is unseemly in this time of war and corruption.
Did I say blind? No pun intended of course.
Your credo in believing that in essence, everyone is good makes me want to chuckle in amusement.
But I don't because I am left once again with the quandary of deciding what to do with you.
I know what must be done in order to bring him back to his old form. Since the normal conventions of the other incompetent Jyunishinshi trying to demand, ambush, or trap him have proven ineffective, we are forced to enact the final plan of exposing his weakness.
So we have now been reduced to kidnapping a mere woman.
I know you're anything but. Those who would say otherwise are complete imbeciles.
Ah, but that's what I thought before I met you. So the joke is on me, I suppose.
You still remain there waiting.
Waiting for him.
I sense that you're fidgeting now, getting bored, maybe tired of staying in one spot for a long period of time. But you bide your time, nonetheless.
And show no sign of walking away.
Maybe it is me that's affected. Oh kami-sama. Don't let that be true. Not again. I can't let myself be distracted by you. By anyone. You're completely oblivious to the effects that you have on those around you and that draws me to you all the more.
And I'm caught.
Always wanting what the brother has.
You don't know what he did to HER. I'll spare you the hurtful details, but I'll warn you all the same because you at least deserve that. SHE, like you, chose to stand by his side without any doubt or reservation and as a result, was brought much unhappiness.
I would never let harm come to you. I'm strong. Maybe not as strong as he is but plenty enough to protect you. I will also promise you something that he never could: I would never make you cry and feel pain as a direct result of my actions. Anyone with half a mind can see that you were meant to smile. For once, I will remove myself from the frigid veneer of my normally secluded life and ask you to come with me. I would provide you the peace and happiness that have been eluding you all these years.
Unfortunately, if you're anything like HER, which I fear you are, you'll probably tell me that you've chosen your path and stubbornly announce that you'll acquire happiness with your own two hands, not with the aid, let alone at the expense, of another.
Stupid, headstrong, loyal optimist of a fool. Do you not understand your limitations?
But that's what draws me to you.
The other Jyunishinshi and the "master" insist on disposing of you after the mission. Bastards. Are they ever going to be surprised of what I have in store for them once I recover his body.
Ah yes, his body. Somehow, the topic always comes back to HIM, doesn't?
Just you wait and see. As soon as my primary goal of recovering his body comes to fruition, I'll ask you. If you refuse my offer, I don't know what I'll do.
Either which way, I can't let you go back to him.
I'll convince you to see my way. If not at the Sea of Trees, then perhaps at a another time, another place.
Until then Yuya-san, please be safe.
A/N – The Akira/Yuya relationship, however insignificant as many might think, has caught my attention in the MANGA. Although I foresee more of a loyal friendship or a brotherly/sisterly bond to form versus a romantic one, I do believe that Akira is at his most sincere and true self when he is with Yuya.