Disclaimer: I do not own SSBM people OR anything to do with Lord of the Rings.

A/N: This was once a Script Format story. I'm trying my best to re-write it. If it makes NO sense, then I will be more then happy to send you the firsts ones in the mail. Also, it's time for a new name...

The Lord of the Rings (SSBM Style)
The Fellowship of the Bling-Bling
Chapter I- Prolouge and a Par-TAY!

It was a dark screen...nothing was there...understand? Nothing at all...until we heard Peach talking. "Long ago, when the world was young...or something...I haven't read the prologue in so long. So you know what? I'm gonna skip it...it's not like anyone cares...Something about no one is alive to remember somthing...Well, I don't remember...So I guess thats okay..."

The Lord of the Rings

"Ahem...Peachy?" Luigi's voice was heard. "You've gotta give SOME form of a backround."

"I do?! Grr...Okay...So there was this dude Sauron who was evil and made these weird rings. He gave three to the sexy elves, seven to the ugly dwarves-"

"HEY!" Popo's voice yelled.

"Ooooh, is Popo playing a Dwarf?! HAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAA! -Ahem- And nine to the humans. And then he made one for himself. It had a cool catch pharse. One Ring to Rule them all, One Ring to Find them, One Ring to bring them all into the darkness and bind them...or something along those lines, I never really liked talking rings. So anyway, then Sauron is all, "...I gotta kill stuff." And the people of Middle Earth are all "...No..." So Sauron is all, "STFU j00 n00bs!" and the people were all, "...No..." So the Elves and the Men teamed up, yey, and fought these Orcs wearing tennis shoes. And then the king of men was killed and his son, Isludor, or however it's spelt..."

"That's not how you spell it!" Marth whispered.

"HEY!? ARE YOU THE ONE DOING THE VOICE OVER?! HUH!? HUH!!!!?!! I THINK NOT!!! -Ahem- Anyway, so Isludor chopped off his hand and Sauron died. The Isludor took the ring, then ran off, got married and lived happily ever-after. THE END!"

"That's not the ending!" DK whined.

"But I'm bored!! ARGH! Alright. So Isludor gets killed and all the people are all, "OMFG NOEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!" And he droped the ring in the water. Then Gollum finds it.

"But..." Ness started. "I thought Gollum killed someone for the ring!"

"WELL THAT'S NOT WHAT IT SAYS HERE!!!!! Ahem, so then, y'know, a little midget that looks like Ness came up to Gollum and said, "Yo, I'm lost." And Gollum is all "Wellsss thatsss to badsss." And the midget said "I want your ring." So he stole it. I think his name was Dildo..."

"Bilbo!" Roy corrected.

"Dildo Baggins was his name! NOW ON WITH THE STORY!!!" We get a nice little picture moving through Bag End with the Hobbit music playing before Peach buts in. "THE EXTENDED VERISON?! HELLLLLLLLLLLL NO!"

Ness is sitting under a tree reading a book.

The Fellowship of the Bling-Bling

"Hm, I wonder why I can't understand this book..." He muttered, unkowning that he held it upside down. Suddenly, humming was heard coming from the path way. Ness stood up and got a big smile on his face and dashed to where the singing was heard.

A little wagon with a cloaked figure was riding down the path, singing. "The road goes on and on, down from the door where it beg- OW!!! STUPID HORSE!! AVOID THE BUMPS!!!"

Ness ran up and stared at the man. "You lat- BOWSER?!" He yelled shocked. "YOUR THE WIZARD DUDE?!"

The Koopa sighed and nodded. "Yes, and my name is not Bowser. It's Gandalf."




"I think I would know my own name better then you."


Bowser gave a sigh. "A wizard is never late, Nano Dragons. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to."

"So..." Ness said thinking. "We go by YOUR time..."


"IT'S WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU GANDY!!!" Ness said as he jumped into Bowser's arm. So the the two of them hug then start riding through Hobbiton. But we're gonna skip over their convasations, to save time. Ness jumped off the cart as Bowser headed up towards Bag End. "Damn...It's so small..." He muttered, getting off his horse. He walked up to the door and knocked.

"GO AWAY!!!" Pikachu yelled from inside. "I'M BUSY!!!"

"But I'm an old old old old friend!"

Sounds of crashing and stumbling were heard as Pikachu raced to the door and opened it. "Gandalf! I was just jerking...out of a deep sleep! Yeah...I saw someone say that once..."

"Tssk, tssk, tssk. You can't even find your own humor anymore."

"I LUV YOU GANDY!!" Pikachu said, hugging the giant turtle's leg. "Come in!" He said, showing his friend in. Pikachu took Bowser hat and staff, placed his staff on the coat rack and went into the living room to nibble on the hat. "So, what brings you to Hobbiton?!"

"I needed a weekend alone, you know, away from the destroying the world stuff." Bowser smiled. "But also, I came for you B-day, Dildo."

"MAH B-DAY!!!" Pikachu screamed. "Do you have any idea how many scary people I know are gonna be there?! I wanna leave this hole in the wall!"

---Later That Night...---

Pikachu and Bowser are sitting outside smoking weed...Oh, I'm sorry, 'PIPE weed'. "Aaaaah, Pipe weed..." Pikachu said, high. "It's so great..."

"It is." Bowser said, taking a puff. He then blew the smoke out in the shape of a ship, which began firing little smoke cannon balls at Pikachu. "Pipe weed gives me amazing powers...Woah...and It shows me cool colors..."

"Hey, while I'm total high, let's head to the party." Pikachu took another puff. "Yeah man, I totally don't wanna lose this feeling."

"Sure thing Dildo!!!" So Bowser stood up and used his magical wizard powers to teleport them over to the party.


It was night, but it was very lively. Hobbits were dancing, little hobbit kids were dancing...everyone was dancing!! But Bowser. He was too busy setting up fireworks, FOR THE HOBBITS TO DANCE TO! "Look at them goooooo!" He said, pointing to butterflies he had just made with his firework. The Little Hobbit kiddies ran off after them with big smiles on their faces.

"Psssssssssssst! Luigi!" Came the voice from a devilish little bird named Falco.

Luigi turned around. "I'm sorry, but the cast name was 'Pippin', If I read right."

"Come on! Let's steal one of Gandy's fireworks like the retards we are!"

"OKAY!" So Luigi and Falco slip away and hop onto Bowser's wagon. Falco picked Luigi up and threw him into the back.

"Hurry! Gandy is coming!" Falco whispered to his partner in crime.

Luigi saw the biggest one there and lifted it up. A red dragon type firework. "This okay?" He asked Falco and got a nod. So he hopped off the wagon and the two of them ran into a tent. Luigi stuck it into the ground and Falco lit it up. "Um, Merry..." Luigi said.


"Why did we lit it up in here?"

"Um...cause we're the cute, funny and very stupid ones!" The firework exploded and was sent flying up into the air. A giant dragon made of...fire? started to rain down onto the hobbits. Being little creatures who are too 'advanced' for shoes, they all ran and hid for their lives.

"DILDO!!!" Ness yelled, tackeling Pikachu to the ground. "EVIL DRAGONS ARE ATTACKING!!" The Firework Dragon then flew up into the air and exploded. The hobbits were amazed so they started clapping.

Falco and Luigi, both charred, were standing their laughing. "That was good." Luigi said with a smile.

"Let's get another one."

"NO YOU SHANT NOT!" Bowser yelled, grabbing them in his arms. "Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peepee Took... I should have known."

"Um, I'm sorry, but it's Pippin." Luigi corrected.

Pikachu, ingoring the fact that his birthday party had just been destroyed by a dragon, got up to give his birthday speech. "Hello everyone!" He greeted and got cheered. "I have a long speech for you, but this movie is 2 Hours and 59 Minutes long, so why not get straight to the point. GOOD BYE YOU SMELLY HOBBITS!!" And with that, Pikachu disappeared.

"HOLY SHIT!!!! PIKACHU WAS RE-CASTED!" All the hobbits and Bowser yelled.

---Back at Bag End---

Pikachu sneaked into the house laughing like his demi-self would if Pichu had just blown up the world. "Stupid Hobbits. I'm sooo much smarter then them."

"You may be smarter then them, but not a WIZARD!" Bowser, who just magically appeared, mocked. "Oh, and using magic rings? Yeah...about that...it's a big no-no."

"It was just a bit of fun!" Pikachu said with a smile. "Besides...I'm leaving now. This is all going to Nes- Frodo."

"Even your ring?"

"HELL NO!" Pikachu said. "It's mine...my own...my precioussss...." The mouse said, petting the Ring.

"Precious?" Pikachu was too busy petting his ring to notice Bowser. "Dildo, give me that Ring..."




Bowser then killed Pikachu. "Erm, oops? Dildo? DILDO! WAKE UP!!!" But Pikachu's body was...um...dead. "Uh-oh..." Bowser took his ring, threw the dead Pikachu out the window, and looked around. "Okay Gandalf, Think...I KNOW!" Bowser gave an evil laugh, his trademark, Bawhahahaha. "I'll give Frodo the ring, so when people find Dildo's body, they will think HE killed him! HA! I am soooooooo smart." The Koopa walked to the door, dropped the ring and sat down by the fireplace smoking. "HA! He's sure to see it there." He thought to himself.

Ness took this moment to burst in. "DILDO! DILDO! ARE YE HERE?!" He looked down and saw the little shiny ring. "Huh?" He picked it up and walked towards Bowser, ring in hand. "Gandy?"

Bowser looked at the ring un-easy. "He..he..he..." He laughed weakly. "Dildo's ring..." He quickly grabbed it from Ness, put it in an envelope and gave it back to Ness. "Sorry buddy, but I have to leave."

"LEAVE?!" Ness yelled. "But...you only just got here!"

"I have important wizard stuff to do..."

"And this Ring! Why did you put it in a envelope if I'm just gonna take it out again!"

"FOOL OF A TOOK!" Bowser boomed, turning to Ness.


"DON'T TAKE IT OUT!" The Turtle put one claw on Ness's shoulder. "Keep it serect. Keep it safe." And with that, Bowser turned and left the house, hopped on his pony and rode away, leaving a very confused Ness.

---Somewhere in Gondor---

Bowser, on his pony, rode up to a big white city. He rode his pony up the stairs...and up...and up...and up...wait this is from the third movie. He just walked. Bowser began looking through the many records till he found the one he wanted. "......Shit....."

---A few months later, Hobbiton---

Ness walked into his dark house. "Hm...why didn't they have light bulbs in the middle-ages." Suddenly, a giant claw reached out and grabbed his shoulder, causing the boy to jump ten feet into the air.

"IS IT SERECT?! IS IT SAFE?!" Bowser yelled.

Ness quickly ran to the trunk, grabbed the envelope and handed it to Bowser. "Here!" Bowser grabbed it from Ness and threw it into the fire. "What was that for?"

"Sorry, I can't control myself sometimes..." Bowser reached into the fire and pulled out the Ring. "Here, it's quite cool." He dropped it into Ness's hands only to have the boy jump around the room in pain.



A few seconds later, after the had cooled down, Ness began to see words. "Hey, I see stuff! But...I can't read it. Is it Elvish?"


"Wait, aren't we suposes to have a convastion about it?"

"No, we're short on time." Bowser grabbed Ness's things and threw them on the small hobbit. "There, your all ready to go." Before Ness could answer, sounds of movement were heard in the bushes. "Evil spies from Mordor!" He said, reaching into the bush and pulling up...Dr. Mario!

"Eeep!" Dr. Mario whined, curling into a ball. "Don't hurt me you crazy lizard!"

"Hm, nah. I have a better idea. One that will make you famous."

---The next morning---

Bowser, Ness and a pony were walking. "Come along Sam." Ness said to the Pony...NO! IT WAS DR. MARIO!!

So the three walked into the middle of the forest. "Okay my furry footed friends." Bowser said. "We're pressed for time, so we're gonna cut stuff out." He hoped on the horse. "Make for Bree, you dig?" Ness and Dr. Mario nodded. "There, meet me at the Dancing Doggie."

"I thought it was the Prancing Pony." Dr. Mario said.

"Well, I changed it. It's the Dancing Doggie. GANDALF HAS SPOKEN!!!" Bowser and his horse rode off into the dark forest, leaving to very scared and confused hobbits alone.

To Be Countined...

A/N: There. I tried to fit all of Chapter 1, FFotBB into one, but it was just soooooooo much...ARGH!!! I couldn't stand it. So, was it good? Bad? Another amazing work of art? should I burn it right now? PLEASE HELP!