First off I would like to give a big shout out to xenzen, Delirious Jedi, Hobnob and schmoopy. Thanks for all your help.
Chapter one: Champagne Supernova
The Ebon Hawk soared through space away from the dying Star Forge as the explosion lit up the darkest recesses of space. The crew of the ship cheered in jubilation; Malak was dead and the peace that the Repbulic craved was nearly within its grasp. Standing on the tiny bridge of the Ebon Hawk, staring out at the burning space station, was Deman Winter, or Revan, as he had recently found out. He was standing there, his mind in torment, when suddenly his mind was hit with what seemed like a tightened elastic band snapping, which whipped against his mind with such force that the former Dark Lord fell to the floor in pain.
"NO", he cried, his anguish alerting the rest of the crew to him and breaking them out of their celebrations. Revan lay on the ground, crying. How could this be, how could I not see it? he thought. He couldn't think straight, he was so very angry--angry with himself, angry at Malak and he was so angry at Bastila. He quickly dealt with his emotions as Jolee had shown him, allowing him to feel their effects, but then letting them wash away.
He replayed the events in his head, remembering what had happened…
He pushed Bastila away with the Force, then stood over her, ready to strike the killing blow… when he stopped. "Now do you see that the Dark Side is no stronger than the Light?"
Bastila, the anger slowly dissipating from her, looked up at him. "Yes, I see that now," was all that she could manage.
"Bastila, I love you," Revan said. He had so much more that he wanted to say, but he couldn't find the words that seemed appropriate at this time.
"I love you, too, but the darkness has taken me whole. For what we once had, please put me out of my torment."
"I could never do that," Revan stammered, "I love you, Bastila, and nothing is going to change that. If I, of all people, can return to the Light, then I believe that you can too."
Bastila lay there, looking like a shell of the woman she once was; she was defeated and she knew it. "Revan, help me… I don't know what to do!" she cried.
Revan sat down next to her and put his arm around her. "Use your battle meditation to help the Republic; that will help you along the path of redemption."
She agreed and Revan got up to go and face Malak; but as he left he felt something strange, but he couldn't put his finger on it. He settled down and gathered his thoughts, Right. One down, one to go.
When he came out after the fight against his ex-apprentice, Bastila was nowhere to be found. He searched her out with their bond and found her; she was calm but distressed. She sent back through the bond, "I am sorry." She then put her mental barriers up and he could no longer find her. He rushed back to the Hawk in the vain hope that she had gone back there.
"Where is Bastila?" he screamed at the top of his lungs.
Carth was the first to reply," I don't know! What happened in there--I thought you brought her back to the Light, but no one here has seen her!"
Revan screamed incoherently in frustration, as loud as he could. This was not happening to him, he thought. "I have to go back for her!" he yelled, and he ran off towards the command deck. Just as he was about the reach the door, a loud explosion rocked the facility, and a large part of the installation collapsed in front of the door, blocking the exit.
After that, all he could remember was Carth and Canderous dragging him onboard.
He had been crying on the floor for a few minutes now with Jolee, who had bent over him, trying to comfort him, the rest looking at him uncomfortably. "What is it, lad, is it Bastila?"
Revan swung around, his eyes bloodshot from crying for so long. "She's dead… I could have saved her and she's dead!"
The rest of the crew looked at him in horror.
Carth was the first to speak. "You sure she's gone? I know she wasn't there when you defeated Malak, but we didn't see her body. We don't know what happened to her."
Revan glared at him. "No, she is dead," he said bitterly. "The bond, it has snapped, it is like there is no life force at the other end."
Revan got up. "I am sorry, but I need to be alone right now." He stormed off to his bunk. In the solace of his room, he thought about the good times he'd had with Bastila, trying to remember something other than the betrayal that he felt, but couldn't understand. He thought back to that special night they shared.
He looked down, lifting his arm up so that he could look at her peaceful face. He couldn't believe what had happened. One minute he and Bastila were arguing; he had decided he had had enough, so he had done the only thing he could think of to shut her up. He had grabbed her firmly by the hips and pulled her towards him. Then he had done what he had wanted to do for a long time; with all of the longing in his heart, he had placed his lips upon Bastila's, and with passion flowing through him he embraced her, his hand floating down her face and over her tender breasts.
Bastila stepped back. "We can't do this. As much as I want to, it goes against everything I have ever been taught."
Deman looked at her, a bit shocked. "Won't you, for once in your life, do something for you, and not for those preachers on the Jedi Council? You can't deny you didn't feel something."
She couldn't. She had felt the pleasure as the Force brought them closer together--heck, even Carth and the rest had felt a sensation rushing through the ship, though no one had said anything. Bastila looked at him and finally spoke. "I can't… I…"
He pulled her even closer, and with even more vigour he placed his lips on hers. Their hopes and feelings raced through each other's body, and there was a feeling of great pleasure, contentment and most of all, that this was right.
She offered little resistance, leaving herself at his mercy, something she had promised that she would never do, but her heart had ached for him since Taris. With his left hand he undid her robe and slid it off; his right caressed her face.
Bastila ripped off his robe with such force that Deman was shocked. She looked up at him and said, "I want you. I have always wanted you."
They were in the throws of passion, when they felt the force emanate from them like a force wave. They both looked at each other with a mischievous look on there face, they were about to continue when they heard Carth mutter from the other room.
"What the hell was that?"
They started to continue and Bastila started moaning with pleasure, when it happened again, but this time the force pulsed with more power and they heard a thump from the connecting room. They started giggling like naughty school children and then they heard Canderous proclaim.
"Well, it seems our Jedi ice princess is beginning to thaw!"
Revan was kissing her neck and Bastila looked at him mischievously and said.
"Wait till I get my icy hands around his throat."
She looked up at Revan her eyes filled with passion and desire, she was about to continue, when Revan took his lips of her neck and start ravishing her lips. She sunk back into giving herself to him.
After they were finished, Bastila looked over at him, frowning. "Deman, there is something I have to tell you. It has been eating me up inside and I can't take it any longer…"
She was about to continue when the Hawk was pulled out of hyperspace, and Carth started shouting for assistance.
Deman got up, quickly threw his robes on and rushed out, glancing at Bastila as she did the same. Deman raced to the cockpit and found Carth staring out at the Leviathan.
"Saul…" Carth hissed under his breath.
Even the good memories were tainted. They couldn't have one night to themselves and they never would again, he thought to himself bitterly.
One month later
Revan sat in the gardens lying in the shadow of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. The gardens were full of flowers and birds flew gracefully overhead, it amazed him that somewhere could be so tranquil in the middle of a metropolis such as Coruscant. He was reaching out with the Force, trying a new power he had discovered. He sat there, peacefully stretching out tendrils of the Force. He could feel the people around him and feel their emotions; the emotions were like flags. Through the Force he could map out these emotions, and trace them back to what had caused them. He also thought that he could tweak them, to change the flag so that it didn't represent what the underlying emotion meant.
In theory, he thought to himself, he could remove the anger from a person-- or induce it--if he was inclined that way. He had discussed this with Master Vandar, and the diminutive Master had helped him increase his focus, although it did come with the warning that he wasn't to try this theory out.
He got up and started heading towards the Temple; the Council had summoned him. He walked in and was directed towards the Council room. The Jedi temple was a large ornate building with large arcs towering above him and light steaming through the large windows. When he arrived, Master Vrook came out and escorted him in. As he walked into the small circular chamber, he saw a face he hadn't expected to see; sitting on the Council was Jolee. Revan didn't say anything, but he was pleasantly surprised.
"Welcome, Revan," said Master Vandar, "how are you feeling today? I could sense you were attempting your new skill. How is it progressing?"
"I am getting there," he admitted. "I don't know how it came to me, but although it is interesting, I don't see any real use for it."
Although he hadn't found a practical use for his new technique, he knew that it was the only thing that had helped him get through the last month. He could sit there, letting himself become cleansed by the Force and concentrate on something, rather than let his mind go into overdrive about Bastila and his former title.
"The Force decides what it is going to reveal to us and what it is not. Don't be so quick to denounce your new skill. It has been revealed to you for a reason," said Master Vandar.
"And what reason is that?" Revan asked.
"That is for you to find out. Listen to the Force and let it guide you. It appears that it still has plans for you," the powerful Jedi replied.
"I wish it didn't," Revan replied bitterly.
"Why is that, young one?"
"Well, the two things I have ever cared for in this galaxy have either nearly been destroyed, or actually has been. The Republic and its people that I swore to protect were nearly crushed due to my arrogance, and caught in the tailwind of my destruction was Bas…" He couldn't finish.
Revan tried to regain his composure. The Masters were looking at him in concern. He looked up and spoke.
"Anyway, I don't suppose you have summoned me here to ask about my meditations; may I inquire as to why I am here?"
Master Vrook was the first to speak, "Your instincts are correct, young padawan, or should I say… Knight?"
Revan looked up in surprise. Although Revan had been a Knight, his alter ego, Deman Winter, had only gained the rank of padawan. He assumed that the Council would be wary of promoting him so quickly.
"I don't know what to say, I don't think I am deserving," he stammered.
"We disagree. After hearing an account of what transpired from your colleagues and, of course, Master Jolee, we have decided that you--along with one other--will progress to the rank of Knight," replied Vandar. The small Master walked towards the door, opened it and said, "You may come in."
In stepped Dustil Onasi and Juhani, who looked over at him and smiled.
Master Vrook stood up and announced, "padawans Juhani and Revan, we are pleased to bestow upon you the rank of Knight. The Republic is forever in your gratitude."
"How can you do this to me?" Revan stammered. "Don't you see what I am? I am not ready for this, I can't…"
Vrook raised his hand to stop him. "Are you not the Knight who rescued Juhani, Yuthura, Ajunta Pall and young Dustil from the darkness?"
"Not to mention help everyone and their dog along the way," commented Jolee, who had stayed quiet up to this point. "I know you feel hurt after everything that has happened," he continued, "but you are a force for good in the galaxy now. You seem to think that eventually Revan will catch up with you and devour you whole, but you can be whoever you want to be. You can be so much more than Revan ever was--you have his skills, his command of the force and his charisma-- but you are not him."
Revan looked at Jolee and thought, I hate you old man, but he knew if he joked to Jolee like that, the Masters would never understand. In reality the old git had helped him so much; he had helped him deal with his feelings for Bastila, and his nightmares that happened every night. He had taught him how to deal with his emotions. The Order could learn a lot from Master Bindo.
He stood there trying to understand the Councils decision; to him it looked like they were repeating the same mistakes. Revan was pushed forward to be a Knight originally by Master Vrook when he wasn't ready; the galaxy was just recovering from that mistake. He composed himself and realised that arguing with the Council would not make them reverse there decision.
"I agree with Master Bindo; the Council is unanimous on this decision," replied Master Vandar.
Revan sighed. "Very well, Masters. I only hope you know what you are doing. I thank you for having faith in me, even if I do not. I would also like to congratulate you on an excellent choice for your other Knight." He smiled and looked over at Juhani. "She is a fine Jedi."
Revan walked over and hugged Juhani.
"Congratulations, Juhani. You deserve this. You are going to be a Master before you know it." He smiled at the young Cathar.
"So do you, so stop beating yourself up over it." She knew her friend still blamed himself for everything that happened. He hadn't been the same since that fateful day they escaped from the Star Forge.
"I have come to realise that it was you who saved me on Taris, and you who saved me from my darkness. I can't think of anyone more deserving of the title of Knight than you. Don't forget you are not in this by yourself. Yuthura is outside trying to deal with her inner demons, as am I still," said Juhani sympathetically.
"Maybe I should start up a group; how about Sith Anonymous," he said with a smirk.
Juhani and Jolee laughed, although the rest of the Masters stay quiet. Vandar had a slight smile at the corners of his mouth.
Master Vrook stood up. "Revan, since you have now obtained the rank of Knight, you should prepare yourself as you shall soon be given a Padawan."."
Revan stood there in shock. Please don't let it be Dustil, he thought to himself. He knew Dustil still didn't trust him, he probably never would. A padawan… the thought sent a shiver down his spine. Did they want one of their students to take a walk on the Dark side? he thought to himself. He knew eventually that he would have to take on a padawan, but he wished the Council would give him more time… he was still in mourning. He had to think of a way out of this, but how….
"I do not agree with the Council over this. I have many issues I still have to deal with. I am still trying to come to terms that I was the Dark Lord of the Sith and I still have problems dealing with my emotions regarding Bastila. I wouldn't be able to give a padawan the time and attention that they deserve," said Revan, more confidently than he felt.
"The Council believes that the time is right. Yuthura will be your new padawan, although she will remain here for the time being. She trusts you, and if there is anybody that is going to help her come back fully into the light, it is you. She will join you after she has completed her rehabilitation," said Vandar.
Revan stood there, digesting what the Council had just told him. He still didn't want a padawan, but if he had to have one, he was glad it was Yuthura. He could tell when he'd met her on Korriban that she was different; her spirit had been crushed and the Sith had replaced it with darkness, but it still tried to rise to the surface. She was in a similar predicament to him; perhaps the two of them could help each other?
Master Vandar continued, "Juhani, during the quest for the Star Forge you have proved yourself to be a true follower to the light. Revan has already told us of how your strength and support helped him during the dark times he had to face. We now feel the time is right, that you should instruct your own student in the ways of the Jedi. Dustil, please step forward."
Dustil stepped forward, a bit overawed. He stood in front of Master Vandar and bowed slightly.
"Dustil, you have proved to myself and Master Jolee that you are willing to let the teachings of the Sith go. We have decided to grant you the rank of padawan. Juhani will be your mentor," said Master Vandar.
Dustil looked up first at Juhani, and then at Master Vandar. "Thank you for this opportunity to try and redeem myself. I will not fail you."
Dustil stood there, bewildered, emotions of both extremes flooding through him. Juhani is close to Revan. I could use this to get close to Revan and finally have my revenge, he thought. He quickly purged the idea from his head. Not only would the Masters be able to sense this, but he had changed so much in the past month.
He had arrived on Coruscant just before the victory celebrations, and to his horror had found that the man who had helped his father on Korriban was none other than the Dark Lord Revan. Thoughts of betrayal and revenge swamped him; he stormed off looking for his father. He barged his way into his father's quarters to find him and Revan sitting there, talking.
"You traitor, how could you even be near this monster, never mind be friends with him!" he screamed at his father.
A quick look of realisation passed over Carth's face. "Look, Dustil, I was going to tell you-- I had planned on telling you before the ceremony started."
Dustil stood there glaring at his father, out of the corner of his eye he saw Revan motion to leave. He hesitated and looked back at his father, his father gave him an understanding nod and Revan silently left the room.
Carth remained, attempting to calm his son down. "Look, son, I've known Deman-- Revan, or whatever you want to call him-for months before we found out who he was. When I did find out, I wanted to kill him--I wanted to blame everything that had ever happened to me on him. I understand where you're coming from …"
Dustil interrupted him. "You understand nothing about me!" he screamed at his father, his anger rising to the surface. All he had to do was let his emotions loose as he had been taught and his father would finally gain an understanding…
But… no. He was not going to do that; he wanted to become a Jedi. He wanted to change; his mother would have hated the young man he had become. He looked up at his father; Carth was standing there with a face filled with sympathetic understanding.
"Please, son, calm down; let's talk about this. I knew this would be a shock to you; it was shock to me--hell, it was a shock to Revan! He'd thought, for his whole life, that he was Deman Winter, a soldier for the Republic. In one day, he lost the woman he loved, and found out that he was once the Dark Lord of the Sith.
As I said, I wanted to kill him--I even had a plan to do it. However, strangely enough, it was Canderous who made me see sense. He made me remember that ever since I've known him, he's done nothing but good. He helped me find you, and he's the one who'd discovered the datapad. He broke into the Sith Master's bedroom in the middle of their own Academy. He didn't have to do that, but he did. After he'd done that, I couldn't be angry at him any more. He's done more for me than anyone else ever has. He's not the Dark Lord anymore, he doesn't have the Dark Lord's memories--he isn't the Revan that you and I despised. We can't hurt him any more than he is hurting already."
"So it only took Canderous to turn you round," Dustil said, still angry. But for the first time in years, he was actually listening to his father. The worse part was, what his father was saying was right, and he hated that.
"Well, not exactly… HK threatened to smash my meatbag body into meatbag paste if I touched Revan." Carth grinned, remembering the homicidal robot's threats.
A small smile touched onto Dustil's face as well. He had calmed down now. He and his father sat down and spent the rest of the morning talking, trying to resolve their differences.
After a few hours, Dustil had a better understanding of his father and Revan. His father told him the story of what Revan had done when he found out.
Revan spent the whole journey to Korriban locked in his cabin. He spent the first day screaming at the top of his lungs, wanting the world to swallow him whole. The second day was spent crying, crying for the pain he had caused and crying for the pain of losing his beloved Bastila. The third day he came out of his room just as they had arrived at Korriban. He had come to realise that getting angry was not going to help.
Revan walked into the lounge area of the Hawk, and said, "I am sorry for the past couple of days. I had to sort my head out."
"What have you decided?" asked Jolee.
"Well, me getting angry isn't going to achieve anything. We need to find the Star Map, find Carth's son, get the hell off this rock and rescue Bastila."
A collective sigh of relief went around the room. Revan went over to Carth.
"Look, I know that you must really hate me for what I have done, but for what it is worth… I am sorry. I just can't comprehend how I was that monster, but there is nothing I can do about that now. Just know that I am sorry, I know that any trust that you and I have built up has just been destroyed, but let me try and restore that trust. We will find Dustil."
Carth sighed. "Ok, but know this: if you betray the Republic, I'll kill you. I might not be able to defeat you one-on-one, but I'll find a way."
That was good enough for Revan; he couldn't expect anything more at this moment in time.
He stood up with renewed determination. He had been Darth Revan, the destroyer of worlds, but not anymore. If he was ever going to be able to forgive himself, he needed to try and undo the evil he had spun, starting with Carth's son.
Dustil was sitting listening attentively to his father; he couldn't compare the image of the Darth Revan that had been taught to him at the academy to the one his father talked about. His father talked about this man as if he was a long lost friend.
Carth then told the story of what happened after Korriban. He told of how Revan had turned down Bastila's offer to return to the Dark Side. Had turned her to the light to help the Republic. He also told him of the confusion surrounding Bastila's disappearance and Revan's insistence that she was dead.
Dustil interrupted his father. "Father. If Revan was as in love with Bastila as you say, I can't understand how he had the strength to turn down her offer to return to the darkness. I know too well the addictiveness of the Dark side."
"I'll admit I feared the worse when Juhani and Jolee had a vision and ran off to find Revan on Rakatan. They looked distraught. Last night Revan and I went to the Cantina to have a drink, and he told me why he turned her down.
"He told me that it took all his strength to resist her. She was twisted by the Dark side; Revan described her as an evil vision of beauty. She wanted him to become the Master and she would become his apprentice. However, he knew that if he reclaimed his title of Darth Revan, he would never have Bastila the way he wanted. She would abide by his every desire, but eventually she would have to kill him, as the Sith law dictates. He didn't want to live like that."
"He told me that he has flashbacks of his old self. He says that Revan seemed a lonely man, always on the hunt for power and staying alert to avoid betrayal. Malak was his best friend when they were Jedi, and look what happened there. If Malak, his best friend, could betray him for power, what's to stop Bastila?"
That seemed to satisfy Dustil, although the Sith inside him told him that Revan was weak, that was why he didn't become the Dark Lord of the Sith. He pondered that for a moment, then grudgingly discounted it. He had to learn to distance himself from the Sith teachings-- they only resulted in death.
Dustil told his father what had happened after they had left Korriban, how he and some of his friends had slipped out during the confusion that had resulted from the fighting as Revan left. How they had decided to join the Jedi.
Carth started to frown. "The Jedi…I suppose they're better than the Sith."
Dustil was slightly surprised he assumed that his father would be pleased. He looked at his father. His father looked a bit dubious, but he quickly straightened up and said, "come on lets go, the ceremony is due to start soon. I will introduce you to Master Jolee after the ceremony if you like."
After the ceremony had finished his father, just as he had promised, introduced him to Master Jolee. Jolee was a quirky old man, but he was a good teacher. In fact he could really get to like the old man if it wasn't for his obvious respect for Revan. After a couple of weeks Jolee introduced him to Master Vandar. Master Vandar was a small green alien, but he had an air of authority and power surrounding him that made up for his lack of height. The training continued for another few weeks and Master Vandar guided him to use the Force using a calm mind and not using his emotions as he had previously been taught. He found it hard at first, but Vandar showed him new meditation techniques that allowed him to empty his mind of all his anger.
During one of these sessions Master Vandar was instructing him to build stones on top of each other to help his control of the Force, during the session Vandar started talking about Revan's control of the force. He felt his anger rising within him and the stones collapsed. He was sure that Master Vandar had done it on purpose. The diminutive Master looked at him with compassion and said, "your anger for Revan clouds your judgment young one. To become a Jedi you must let go of your anger, or the Dark Side will forever be your shadow."
Dustil slowly came out of his thoughts; at least he now knew whom Master Vandar was going to give the responsibility to, and he was relieved that it wasn't Revan--he could never trust him. He had tried to put his feelings for him aside, at least for his father's sake, but he couldn't. Revan and his father were the cause of all his pain, and although he had started to listen to and understand his father, Revan was a different story. He turned around and found Juhani smiling and standing next to him. Master Vandar was talking to Revan.
"Before Yuthura joins you, we have a mission for Juhani, Dustil and yourself. We have received reports that a new Dark Lord of the Sith has been put in place and is beginning to gather the Sith forces under his banner. We have heard rumours of digging taking place near Exar Kun's temple on Yavin 4. We would like for you to go and investigate this. If a new Sith Lord is looking for something there, it can't be good for us."
Revan approached the Council. "Very well, we shall leave tomorrow. Please have all the details uploaded onto my datapad and Juhani's. Before I go, has the Council any idea of who this new Sith Lord is?"
"No, we have no idea, but we believe that the Sith Lords who had been banished under your reign have come back, and we understand that there was a fight on Korriban as to whom would become the new Dark Lord," said Master Vandar.
This brought the meeting to an end. Master Vandar looked at the new Knights and said, "May the Force be with you."
"May the Force be with you also, Master," replied Revan.
Deep inside the dusty, volcanic rock planet of Korriban, a Sith apprentice approached his Master. The shadowy figure looked at the apprentice. The apprentice stopped and said to his Master, "Master, we have received reports that Revan is going to leave Coruscant tomorrow, and he is heading to Yavin 4 with another Knight called Juhani and her new Padawan."
"Excellent," said the shadowy figure in a cold and calculated voice. "I let Revan slip through my grasp once before. I shall not allow it to happen again. Have the team assembled and prepared. Events are unfolding exactly as the force had predicted."