Wolf- This is my first Gravitation fic ever. I really hope that it comes up to par, but don't hesitate to help me out with things. Anyway, read and review, and hopefully you like it. It's (strangely enough, I think) Tatsuha/Suguru.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gravitation. I DO own some Gravitation mangas, but I bought those. I own the two clips of song that come after Shuichi's song. I also admit to owning the plot, and owning up to the fact that I've never read Gravitation fan fiction. But no Gravitation anime itself. Sorry. I bet I could do a lot with the plot, like making Hiroshi gay! (starry-eyed) Not that he isn't bi already. Y'know... Eiri, Shuichi, and Hiroshi would make a damn good threesome.
Suguru brushed a pale hand through his hair. He had been up for hours, practicing on his newest keyboard piece for Bad Luck. It was complicated, almost impossible to master, but he loved the challenge. Sometimes he believed that was the reason he had stayed with Bad Luck in the first place. The band was a challenge by the very nature of the people in it and the people that managed it. Shindou Shuichi was funny, cute, and had the charismatic voice that drew people to him. Hiroshi was the guitar player, so complicated in the very way he thought and talked. Hiro was impossible to explain. Then there was the ever-nervous producer Sakano and the gun-toting manager K. Everyone just seemed to fit together in a weird, wacky way.
'But where do I fit in?' Suguru wondered with a sigh. His chocolate eyes studied the rain falling down as if it were some new chords that he had to learn.
'I'm the one that's most dedicated to music. Shindou told me that once Hiro said he was going to quit, and I'm sure that Shindou himself would stop if his precious Yuki said something. But then again, who knows what he would do. He's an odd guy.'
Sighing again, the keyboardist looked back into the living room, away from the rain and towards his keyboard. It was standing there all innocent, waiting for him to come back. He rolled his eyes. It was only too rich. The keyboard was beckoning to him, talking to him without saying a thing. Kami-sama, he loved that thing. But what he really wanted to do now was something only Shuichi had been allowed to do. Smiling, he let soft, sweet innocent words slip from his throat. Though Shuichi had almost trashed this song, he had stolen a copy and spiced it up a bit.
"Destiny is unstoppable...
I've tried laughter, I've tried tears; but it always overpowers me
It doesn't care a thing about my fears
It takes my love and it devours me."
Fujisaki Suguru got up and walked over to the keyboard once again, letting a mask slip over his features. He loved singing. But there was no way he was going to get to with Shindou around. Once again he felt a brief surge of anger, but it died down. Shuichi was too... whatever he was for Suguru to stay mad at him for long. It wasn't really his fault. He hadn't wanted to screw up the dreams that the dark-haired keyboardist had had of not being exactly like his cousin. The dreams he had of singing to the world in that pure voice.
He was everything wrapped up in one, composer, singer, instrumentalist. He just didn't have a chance now.
He set his fingers on the gently worn keys of the keyboard and began to play their newest song. Shuichi's song.
"What do you think of this life?
Is the first thing ya think of all our strife?
If I turn around, what'll be going on...
If you get it wrong, I'm gone."
Ukai Noriko raised a plucked lavender eyebrow at the song Suguru was softly singing as he walked in the door, closing it gently as usual. He was first to the studio, as always, and was the last to leave. To get back to the song, she had only heard in once before. Only once, and she went through every radio station, no matter what language.
'It's a Fallen Angel song... Well, at least it isn't that song he's taken to singing, Shuichi's much-hated-by-Yuki song.'
"Noriko-san!" the teenager exclaimed, red-brown eyes lighting up. It was clear he wanted to run over to her, but he was restraining himself. He walked, albeit rather quicker than usual.
"You're helping out again?" Noriko nodded, eyes flashing with slight pleasure. She may yell at him sometimes with the rest of the group, but mostly she tried to refrain. She had been very close to him ever since his mother had died when he was nine. His father had died the year after from grief.
"Yup!" she said cheerfully. "How are you, Suguru-kun? Did you take my advice from last time?" Suguru's head bobbed up and down. Even as they talked of music things, Noriko couldn't help but think of how frail Suguru still was. Ever since three years ago... but she had promised both herself and him that she wouldn't think about it. So she didn't.
"La li ho!" the pink-haired menace cried as he sped into the room. Unlike when the keyboardist had come in, the door slammed. Suguru turned around to see brightly sparkling eyes. He thought of them as true amethyst, as clear and pure as his own russet eyes were unclear. Shuichi had a type of innocence that Suguru thought he no longer possessed, no matter what his voice sounded like.
Noriko's eyes grew stern as soon as she saw him.
"I'm surprised," she hissed threateningly to him. Even he looked nervous as he shrugged off his backpack and coat, leaving on a white T-shirt and skin-tight black shorts. "You're actually on time for once."
Shuichi giggled nervously, rubbing the back of his head. "Back so soon, Ukai-san?" He didn't dare leave off the honorific lest the explosive hired gun, an ex-Nittle Grasper, forget all morals and murder him.
"Yes, I'm back," she said, changing her voice to saccharine sweet. "And I'm guessing we have work to do. Get in that room," - here she pointed to the recording studio, where a microphone was set up - "And warm up. Nakano should be here soon, and when he is..." She trailed off warningly, leaving Shindou's mind to it. Gulping, he fled to warm up.
"Where's Mr. K, anyway?" Suguru asked once the attention was turned off the main star. Always the main star of everything. But no, he wasn't resentful at all. Well... maybe a little. Okay, okay. A lot.
Noriko giggled slightly, covering her mouth with hands that sported sharp fingernails. These were the things that Shuichi was afraid of. It was said that they could scratch very deeply, but Shuichi had been fortunate enough to avoid them as of yet.
"He got put in jail," she informed him, "For carrying a gun around in a place with some ambassadors. It wasn't pretty, and he still hasn't gotten out. Which, for him, is a feat." Suguru nodded in agreement that this was amazing. K was practically unable to get caught. Then he turned around and headed in with Shuichi to warm up. His newer, Bad Luck keyboard was sitting there, waiting. Thing was, he loved his older home-practice keyboard more. It still had a small marking in paint on it that said "Fallen Angel". Not that anyone would know what that meant. Slender fingers ran over the keys. His black jacket slipped up slightly to reveal deeply scarred wrists. No one saw. No one payed attention to him. Only Shuichi in the spotlight. Always Shindou in the spotlight.
And yet... has my time wasted away?
Destiny's game has gone too far into play
What do you think about my life?
All I can think of is the strife
His name was Uesugi Tatsuha. Sixteen years old, black hair, rather pale features. He was a monk. He didn't want to be. He never had, but with Eiri gone he had been pushed by his father to follow in the plans that had been laid for his brother. He had to become a monk to keep his father off Yuki's back.
'I'm not unhappy,' he mused as he meditated in one of the smaller shrines of the temple. Meditation could either be a clearing of the mind to peace or it could be thinking long and hard about one's problems. Though he was supposed to be doing the former, he had decided on the latter.
'I can't really be unhappy. I believe in all of this, so it isn't all bad. It isn't as if this is some strange and completely foreign religion. Buddhism is all I've ever really known, so that isn't it. Maybe it's because...'
His mind flashed to Sakuma Ryuichi and then back to his problems. There was a reason he was so "in love" with his "dear sweet Ryuichi". It wasn't just that they guy was completely hot. In fact, that had very little to do with it. It had more to do with his personality. The way it changed and shifted. It was amazing. Even that wasn't the full reason, though. He didn't just like Ryuichi, though he didn't vocalize the others as much. He greatly admired Seguchi Tohma as well, and Ukai Noriko. It was the whole band that captured his attention.
'They all have talents,' is what he decided, 'They all have something that they're good at, that they can do. Tohma's synth, Noriko's keys, and Ryuichi's vocals. What've I got? I'm sixteen and good-for-nothing except for funerals. I hate to say this (not), but I hope that the bastard (as Eiri would say) will hurry up and die. Then I can leave the temple in his beloved pupil's care and can go on my merry way. If I had any guts then I would leave now, but I apparently don't.'
Tatsuha opened his eyes with a sigh and stood up, stretching his stiff muscles. Going on about his business like he cared for it, as usual. What he didn't know was that, in a strange way, he might get his real wish.
Suguru sighed as he always did, letting the keys fall to the stand with a clatter. He slipped off his boots and let his jacket fall to the expensive floor heedlessly. His apartment was fairly tiny, with a tiny kitchen, bathroom, and even bedroom. It was in a good part of town and had the largest living room he had ever seen, even in his cousin's mansion.
Feets scuffing on the floor, he headed instictively in the direction of the kitchen. The living room was hardly neat as he walked through it. It had his keyboard, a couch, a widescreen TV, a guitar, and a few books lying around. Although fairly cluttered with things, there were no papers and it was dust-free.
As he headed out of the room to the hall that connected to the kitchen, he stopped to look at his calender. His blood ran cold as he saw the next day's date. 'How could I have forgotten that it's tomorrow...'
"July 6," he said bitterly. "The day I was born, the day that I died." It was an ironically lyric statement, but considering who he had been that wasn't strange. He never wanted anyone to talk about what had happened today. Never. It was his matter, and it was his to discuss.
'To Shindou and the rest,' he thought, even his thoughts tinged with bitterness, 'I should be seventeen. Too bad I had to lie. Tomorrow I'll be fifteen.'
He clenched his fists, but that made the scars at his wrists stretch uncomfortably even after all this time. Easing up, he walked into the kitchen to make some dinner.
It was also ironic that the day that was his birthday was the day Shuichi would get to put some of his own songs in a performance. Overshadowed, always.
exit Fallen Angel