Disclaimer: I wish Akira was mine. I really, really do. Actually, any bishie would suffice...I'm not too picky. Having a Go genius could be potentially helpful, though...
Chapter Two - How Not to Wake Up a Slumbering Dragon
"See, if you'd just listened to me, none of this would have happened." Isumi paced up and down Touya's living room. "We wouldn't be stuck here, we'd be eating breakfast, and my parents wouldn't want to kill me."
"You don't know your parents want to kill you," Waya replied optimistically.
He was rewarded with a vicious jab at Isumi's cell phone, which began to relate the message: 'Shinichiro! Wherever you are, get back home right now! We're going to KILL you!'
"Ok, you do." Waya blinked. "Say, what are we having for breakfast, anyways?"
The answer came in the form of a few pieces of absolutely blackened toast flung out the kitchen door at their heads. This was followed by a sharp screech of anger - presumably Hikaru, since Touya most likely wouldn't screech - and the violent scuffling noises that ensued caused the other two pros to back away from the kitchen.
When Hikaru finally emerged, looking triumphant (besides the fact that a frying pan was stuck lopsidedly on his head), he declared, "Touya's having a bit of trouble."
"With what?" Isumi asked wearily, expecting the worst.
"The toaster." For some reason, the 4-dan seemed quite pleased with himself. "He's...er...having technical difficulties."
Touya Akira 6-dan, one of the two fast-rising stars in Japan's Go world, was not having a good day.
Firstly, Hikaru had apparently commandeered his house. After all, even if all four of them were stuck here, he should be the one giving orders, not Hikaru. But no, after dumping out the mess Isumi had made in the kitchen, Hikaru had ordered him to make toast.
Toast? I'll show you toast!
Purposely switching the setting on the toaster oven to 'black', Touya had patiently waited until the pieces were charred before handing them to his rival with a brilliant smile. This had resulted in the aforementioned toast to be thrown out into the living room, where they apparently collided with the other two pros' heads, if the resulting yelps meant anything.
Hikaru was not a morning person. Touya realized that a bit too late as he found himself, one minute later, with his head jamned in the toaster oven. Luckily, it was unplugged, or his parents would have been able to sue Hikaru for a hell of a lot of money. As it was, he was now firmly stuck. The only compensation he had was that he'd cracked a saucepan over his rival's head as well.
The scent of burnt toast was overwhelming. Touya counted slowly to ten before yanking on his head. It was no use; he was firmly embedded.
Now, think about this logically. If you managed to get stuck in here, you can get out. Maybe if you twist your head to the left...?
He did as his mind told him, and bashed his head against the plastic. Ok, I'm not trying that again...
"Oi, Touya! You're still stuck?"
He closed his eyes and again counted to ten, this time by intervals of 0.1. Just breathe, and stay calm. "Yes, Shindou, I am still stuck. Could you get this infernal contraption off me?"
"You forgot the magic word!" Oh, sure, now he was all cheerful. Touya trembled with the indignity of it all. He was going to kill Hikaru - strangle that overenthusiastic monkey with his bare hands. Or, perhaps, he'd fill the boy's absurdedly bright yellow backpack with rocks and then throw him off a bridge...or he'd...
Isumi pulled off the toaster oven.
Touya blinked. Running his hands through his hair to rid himself of the toast crumbs, he nodded politely to the older pro. "Arigatou, Isumi-san."
"Right, you're all polite to him, eh? Age discrimination, I say!"
"No, it's just a natural instinct to be more polite to those people who have a semblance of maturity."
Before the two rivals could leap for each other's throats again, Waya and Isumi subdued them. While Isumi chose the normal method of merely grabbing Touya's shoulder, Waya sat on top of Hikaru, effectively smothering him.
"Now, let's talk about this rationally," Waya began placatingly. He took a deep breath, still smiling. Suddenly, the smile vanished. "I'M STUCK IN A HOUSE WITH THE MOST SPOILED PERFECTIONIST BRAT FROM HELL! RATIONAL TALK BE DAMNED!"
"Waya!" Isumi, the eternal pacifist, intervened.
Waya ignored his friend. "And that's not the worst part. The worst thing is...we still haven't had breakfast yet!"
Apparently, Waya was quite skilled with cooking, because the eggs he managed to fry tasted more like eggs than rubber. Even the hash browns he made weren't completely burnt, only partially.
Touya wandered around, looking for something to drink, since the refridgerator was basically empty - he'd been planning to go shopping for instant food on the day of the blizzard. Hikaru accompanied him, and discovered a pretty-looking bottle of a translucent green color. He picked it up expectantly; seeing that the liquid within was a dark red, much like the cranberry cordial Touya Akiko made so well, he decided to bring it upstairs.
Without consulting Touya, he poured the drink into four glasses and handed them round. "I think it's just cranberry juice," he assured Isumi, who was vaguely concerned about the appearance of the drink.
"It's good," Waya exclaimed, downing his glass as quickly as humanely possible. He licked his lips appreciatively, pouring himself another cup. Hikaru followed suit; Isumi sipped conservatively. There was something about the drink that the older pro felt was familiar; he couldn't tell what it was, however. After considering it for a few more minutes, he shrugged and continued drinking conservatively.
Touya, dialing on his cell phone, glancing over with a puzzled expression on his face. He shrugged, finished, and waited patiently. "Otousan?"
The former Meijin's voice came through the other end. 'Akira. Is everything alright? Ogata contacted me about a blizzard in Japan.'
"I'm not physically hurt, if that's what you mean." He cast a deprecating glare at where the others were beginning the down the drink in increasing quantities. "Er...the doorway is blocked by snow, so I'm stuck in the house. Isumi-san, Waya, and Shindou are here as well."
'Oh.' Touya Kouyou paused for a minute. 'Shindou-kun. Yes.'
'Never mind.' Kouyou frowned thoughtfully. 'I suppose Isumi-kun's old enough to take care of all of you.'
"I'm seventeen!" the beleagured 6-dan protested.
'Yes, I know. I need to go now. Your mother says hello as well.' There was a soft click.
Touya glanced at his phone in bewilderment. "That was a strange conversation." He glanced over at the rest of his companions and noted just how strange they looked. "Shindou?"
"What, Touya?" Hikaru giggled shrilly, on his sixth glass. Waya howled with laughter, although nothing particularly amusing had happened.
"Where'd you get this drink?"
"Eh? You want more?" Hikaru proffered the almost-empty bottle, sloshing its contents down his shirt as he did so.
"Shit!" Touya recognized that bottle, and the way Hikaru and Waya were acting only served to heighten his certainty. "Shindou, you baka, that's wine!"
"Is it really?" Hikaru peered at it curiously. "Heeeeee, that's funny!"
Isumi picked up the decanter and tossed the remainder of its contents down his throat. Looking severely pissed, Waya smacked the older boy on the head. "You big bully! That was mine!"
"I'm actually of legal drinking age, unlike you, brat," Isumi retorted, along with a high-pitched giggle.
"Damnit." The trusty cell phone was pulled out once more; flicking through the numbers set on speed-dial, he selected one. "You've got to help me!"
Ogata Jyudan was already depressed.
This was due to the fact that his ex-girlfriend had sent him a virus and thus demolished his laptop's hard drive. It wasn't that he cared that they'd broken up; she was one of those annoying whiny materialistic girls who merely tried to sap him of all his money. No, it wasn't that. He was merely mourning the loss of everything he'd had stored on his computer, most of which was...er...not fitting for children's eyes.
After having already ingested various amounts of alcohol, he barely managed to pick up the phone. Nevertheless, as soon as Touya's voice called out, 'You've got to help me!', he was alert.
"Akira? What's going on?"
'Shindou, Waya, Isumi...trapped in the house...'
"Oh." Ogata frowned. "The blizzard, you mean?"
'Yes. And they've been...' There was a crackle; Ogata growled at the phone.
"What did you say? I couldn't hear you."
'They're drunk,' Touya managed to choke out.
"Are they really?" The Jyudan smirked. "I've taught you well, Akira." He laughed sardonically before hanging up the phone before slipping back into a depressed stupor. Lucky Akira.
Touya stared at his cell again. "What was that supposed to mean?"
"Touya!" Hikaru squealed. "Sit down!"
"No, I'll stand." The 6-dan backed away, especially after noticing the way all of the other boys were eying him like he was a very delicious...er...bowl of ramen.
Not about to take 'no' for an answer, Hikaru tried leaping on top of his rival. He miscalculated and ended up sprawled over the couch, gazing up into the mildly worried/amused eyes of Touya. "Oops."
Touya listed his options.
1. Kick them out of the house.
2. Call the police.
3. Tie them up and store them in the closet.
4. Wait patiently until they went to sleep.
5. Scream until something happened.
He next considered them. The first two obviously wouldn't work, due to their current positions. The third was more like something Ogata would do. The fifth was out of the question; Touya Akira did not lose his temper ever. Unless, of course, explaining to Shindou why he was right and the 4-dan was wrong.
That left him with option four. Unfortunately, while he was endowed with an amazing quantity of patience, the three boys didn't seem to want to sleep anytime soon.
6. Go to sleep yourself until this nightmare is over.
Yes, option six was decidedly the best. He cast a last sorrowful look around the remnants of the living room - Isumi and Waya were having lots of fun wrecking it - and wandered to his room, firmly shutting the door with a final click.
By the time they were done wandering around the house, all three intoxicated pros were fairly bored. The only room they had left to trash was Touya's. Either that, or they could do the right thing and put the rest of the house to rights.
It wasn't really that hard a choice. A minute later, three heads peeked in at where Touya was comfortably buried under a blanket.
"Awwww, how kawaiiii!" Waya slurred.
Isumi's eyes lit up. "I have an idea!"
"What?" Hikaru chirped brightly.
"Go wake him up, Shindou! Except, you know, in stories and stuff, you've gotta kiss pretty people to wake them up!"
"Yeah!" Waya echoed. "Go on!"
"Eh?" Hikaru considered that. "Ok..."
Tiptoeing over to where his rival was peacefully slumbering, unaware of his impending doom, Hikaru knelt down and, with the encouragement of the other two, pressed his lips firmly to the 6-dan's.
His first thought was that Touya tasted amazingly sweet. His next thought was that he was in a happy place full of fluffy white bunnies and colorful bubbles.
And then Touya's eyes snapped open, blazing emerald, furious, and he remembered why every fantasy manga he'd ever read had told him not to wake up a sleeping dragon.
Yep, sucky chapter. Sorry. Heeeee. -Song