Let Me Soar
Author's Note: I'm used to doing notes like this now, so you're kinda stuck with it. But I was bored, and had a thought, then decided to go along with it. I am also aware that I screwed with Dinobot's lines in the valley . . . you know, his last words and such. This transpires directly after he says, ". . . and the rest is silence." Not so, when you're about to be interrogated by some weird person in your mind while you're dying. Try to like this, please? anime tears threatening to fall . . .
My head is filled with thoughts . . . memories . . . unfulfilled dreams and wishes . . .
A light . . . what . . . ?
Who is this?
He . . . ? Slaggit, whatever. He's standing before me, optics grave, harsh, unforgiving.
"You heard me."
Why do you say that? Can I not die in peace?
"You have lied to yourself all these years. You want an honorable death? You want to die a hero? Guess what: You failed."
"I am incapable of what you accuse me of."
I have saved an entire species! I have saved my . . .
"Your what? What have you treated your team as, hmm? Are they truly your friends? Are they truly people who you would let your life be handled by? Would you really have gone through with this action, knowing that they would be watching you, feeling as if their Sparks were being extinguished, when you have been incapable of feeling sorrow when your other two comrades were taken by the Vok?"
They were taken! They had no choice! And they live!
"Really. Then why is uncertainty causing your voice to quiver like it was?"
Leave me alone!
"That, I also cannot do. You cannot leave this realm and pass onto the next until you have been reconciled by your so-called friends."
Friends guard your back in battle!
"They are also those whom we confide in! Have you done that, Dinobot? Have you really confided in them? Did you allow them into your personal space willingly?"
They . . . they wouldn't understand me. They wouldn't have cared.
"Had they been Predacon, I would have believed that. Now, however, since they are Maximals, I do not think that is true. Optimus Primal cared. He gave his life, so that you would live. He genuinely cared about you, about all the other Maximals. Rhinox, in his gruff way, cared. How many times have you dragged yourself in from a battle, and he's patched you up enough so that you didn't have to pass into Stasis Lock before entering an R chamber?"
They're different. That was their job.
I snort, and glare at him. Right. He cared. Who's believing who now?
"After one battle, not too long after the Standing Stones, remember that all but three of the chambers were working? He helped keep you both distracted from the pain, while he also started to fix some of the worst wounds. He didn't have to."
I remember. I remember that well. My gaze rests upon the floor, and I sigh, knowing that he's right, whoever this bot is. I didn't let them in. I was afraid to. Would they have cared? Would they have wanted to see who I really am?
Hands rest upon my shoulders, and I feel young again . . . innocent.
"They would have cared, Dinobot. They would have wanted to comfort you."
Who said that I wanted comfort?
"Everyone needs comfort."
I cannot reply to that. I cannot seem to answer that, as I know that there is something within me that wants . . . wanted this comfort.
"You cannot regain lost moments, Dinobot. You regret that there is no way for you to go back."
I'm in the wrong . . . I need to ask their forgiveness . . .
"There is no time."
But I have transgressed!
"And I understand that is what you feel you have to do. But there is no way that you can go back. You have said your last words to them. You have let them into your comfort zone . . . and have even let one of them try to comfort you in your last moments. Did I not tell you that Rattrap cared? Did I not tell you that they all care about you? They are in pain, seeing you dying. They don't want this to happen. They don't want to lose you."
Primus and Matrix . . . I wish that I could tell them more . . .
"One cannot change the past, but one can influence the future."
I feel tears, regrets building up within me . . . but there is no time for that. There is no time for anything now.
"Do you wish to die? Or be reborn?"
"Death . . . or rebirth?"
I can choose?
"Every Cybertronian can. You've been reborn before. You've been warriors in past lives . . . and you have always given your life for another . . . for a greater cause. You take your life in your hands, and you have given it to a cause, one that is for a greater good. You've rightfully earned a place in the Matrix three times over . . . and two of those three times have been pushed away. You wish to do more than you possibly can get done in one life."
Is there a chance that I can be brought back into the Wars? I have . . . I have things I still need to do.
The being laughs, and reveals himself . . . herself . . . completely. She's . . .
"Yes, I am. And I thank you for what you've given me . . . and that was one life. Humans cannot be reborn . . . as you should know. But you can wait just outside the Matrix, until the Wars are over, until you are sure that you cannot do more for your comrades. But the moment that the Beast Wars are over . . . you have a choice to make."
I . . . I understand.
Her hand . . . completely dwarfed by my own . . . draws me towards a light gently . . . smiling over her shoulder at me . . . dark hair swirls around her face . . . the blackness turns to grey . . . I can see the Matrix . . . but I have to stop here . . . I can feel Rattrap's pain . . . Cheetor's pain . . . my commander's; Optimus grieves . . . Silverbolt . . . Rhinox . . . they all hurt so much . . . but this . . . this is something I have to do . . . until I am ready . . .
And I will be ready . . .
Just . . . not now . . .
As the moon rose over the valley, Rattrap saw his friend . . . comrade-in-arms . . . almost someone like a brother . . . Dinobot took his last breath . . . and a smile flickered over his face, as his voice, so horribly mutated by the wounds, raspy, managed to come to him from somewhere distant.
Rattrap leaned closer, concentrating upon Dinobot's voice alone.
"Hope . . . Rattrap . . . hope . . . and . . . I will . . . I will guard . . . over all . . . of . . . of you . . ."
A Spark rose into the sky, but . . . not quite beyond it.
Rattrap saw the peaceful smile upon his friend's face . . . his brother's face . . . and rested his face upon Dinobot's hand, which was still clasped within his own.
"At least, Choppuhface, I can still believe dat. At least."