It wasn't fair

Author: Pumpkin Belly

Summary: It wasn't fair she was my friend first. AU No slayers or vampires Spike/Willow in the beginning, a little hinting of Spuffy

A/N: Spike, Willow and Buffy are in high school. Buffy and Willow are best friends. Everything's pretty much explained. Words in Italics are past. Willow's POV

It wasn't fair.

"Willow, I can't do this anymore." Spike said pulling his girlfriend aside.

"Can't do what?" Willow asked, a smile on her face. Inside she knew what was going on and her heart was breaking.

"This," Spike moved his hand to point at himself and than Willow, "us." He whispered.

"Why?" Willow asked looking up at him, her eyes brimming with tears.

"It isn't working. You feel the same way, pet." Spike said reaching up to wipe away one of Willow's tears.

"Don't." Willow said backing away from his hand. Spike slowly lowered his hand.

"I'm so sorry Willow." Spike said before walking away.

"Yeah, me too." Willow whispered before making her way to the library.

Buffy had found me their 15 minutes later, up in the stacks. Books clutched to my chest, trying to silence my tears.

"Willow, are you ok?" Buffy asked as she sat down next to me.

"No, I'm really not." Willow cried, burring her face into Buffy's shoulder, "He broke up with me Buffy. Spike broke up with me."

"I knew things weren't as good as they get but I didn't think he was going to," Buffy paused afraid to say anything that would upset Willow, "do that." She finished with lamely.

"I didn't know either." Willow sniffed.

"I'm so sorry Wills." Buffy said trying to comfort Willow, "Hey lets get you home, ok?"

"Yeah, that sounds good." Willow said getting up.

"You need anything you call me. I'm always here for you." Buffy said as she guided Willow out of the library.

I called her that night. I was just so upset and needed someone to talk to, but she wasn't home like she said she would be. At the time I thought nothing of it. Something might have come up. Later I found she had been with Spike. "Comforting him." He didn't need the comforting, I did. He broke up with me not that other way around.

The next day at school I saw Buffy talking to Spike. I knew they were friends; it didn't bother me too much. It hurt me a little though. Of course she came over to me as soon as she saw me. I didn't question her about the previous night and I didn't ask her about Spike. I pretended like he wasn't there. Like he hadn't been my first love and the first man to break my heart.

It wasn't fair, what happened next. Buffy was my friend first. We'd only met Spike a year before. It had been the best year of my life at the time. The guy all the girls wanted chose me. I was in heaven. Things were great.

What Spike had been talking about, us not working anymore was slightly true. I was busy with all the school stuff and Spike wasn't. He didn't really do anything while I did a lot. I think he felt he was always waiting for me. It wasn't to the extreme of breaking up though.

Buffy started hanging out with Spike more and more. They were always together. Rumors floated around that Spike had cheated on me with Buffy. All of which were completely untrue trust me I checked. As Buffy started hanging out with Spike she stopped hanging out with me.

In the beginning I tried to go out with Buffy, but Spike always came into the equation somehow. It was to soon to deal with that for me. Every time I saw him it reminded me that I didn't have him and it broke my heart just a little more.

I stopped trying. It was the wrong thing to do. To just give up on a friendship that meant so much to me but I couldn't handle the Spike factor. Feelings were just too raw. I thought Buffy would have understood that I couldn't handle being near him at the time. I thought she wouldn't have talked about him with me.

I don't talk to Buffy that much anymore. When I see her I say hi. Things aren't uncomfortable between us. I've heard things about her and Spike dating. I wouldn't be surprised if that happened. They spend so much time together.

It just isn't fair she was my friend first.

A/N: Thanks for reading. This was loosely based on a true event that happened to me, except the guy wasn't Spike by any means, he wasn't my first love and I broke up with him. So there was no major crying. So now that you know all about my life, tell me what you think in oh I don't know a review perhaps.