Hey guys

Geez, where do I start? Ha, I know I could ramble on about all the stuff I've been doing… but you lot'd probably just skip it, right? So I guess I'll just stick with 'Sorry for the wait, here's Lavenders ducks rotten tomatoes, Snape'll be up next and hopefully you won't have to wait another 7 months for him'. Hope it's not too disappointing – it's been a while since I've written!

Oh yeah, thinking about doing a Pansy2 survey, now that she hates Draco and all (I'm thinking "Revenge of the Beast"). Sound like a good idea? Thinking about letting Hermione and Draco (and maybe a few others?) play around with it a bit though – have their comments on it, like I did with Luna, the Twins, and Dean. Either that, or get some students to just fill out one for Pansy. Anyway, tell me what you think! For all those Pansy-haters out there, it's a good opportunity to tell me all those nasty things you want written about her, and I'll put them in with my stuff.

Oh yeah, Millicent seems to come off as being fairly level with Crabbe and Goyle on the intelligence (and food loving) factor in this chapter, but, ever since that time (in Chamber of Secrets I think) when she ended up with Hermione in a headlock, I've kind of pictured her as looking like a gorilla. With pigtails. Not the look of a smarty-pants, I'm afraid, so I've written her as being a bit of a moron :D

Warning: slight Draco OOC – I've made him fairly nice.

On a final note – I'm writing this from Australia, and at the moment, it's the 8th of July. Yesterday, London was bombed…when I first saw it on the news, the pointless deaths of innocents, at first I couldn't believe it. But as the initial shock wore off, it brought tears to my eyes – damn, they're coming back now as I write this. I just want to point out the stupidity and uselessness of terrorism, and if I've got any British (and particularly Londoners) readers, just wanna let you know – I feel for you.


Draco Malfoy strode along the seventh floor corridor, his long legs eating up the passageway as he scattered a pack of Gryffindor first-years with his icy glare. To be honest, he wasn't in the best of moods at the moment – he'd just had to put up with a stupid (and not mention overweight) portrait trying to rope him into listening to some mind-numbingly dull drabble (the latest gossip, according to her though) that "her friend Violet had just told her" and "he simply wouldn't believe his ears when she told him". After a few moments, Draco had decided that, in fact, yes he did believe his ears, and started walking away before said ears fell off in boredom. Shocked at her audience's impromptu departure, the portrait began stalking Draco as he sauntered off, popping out of different artworks while making rather nasty comments about "rude arrogant Slytherins who had no reason to even be up here in the first place, why, he should get reported to Snape, and receive a detention at least…"

And as if it wasn't enough that he had to put up with crazy artwork, Crabbe and Goyle hadn't even waited for him like he'd told them to, and now, he wasn't only going to turn up to the meeting alone, but he was late (but still Potter might get pissed off, and Draco never missed an opportunity to piss off Potty), and he'd probably have to repeat everything said to Crabbe and Goyle because they, most likely, wouldn't turn up, having forgotten that there even was a meeting.

Ah, yes. The meeting. It was Potter and Grangers idea, as far as Draco knew, and while normally he wouldn't be seen dead at something a Gryffindor had thought up, the synopsis Granger had given him made it sound like this could actually be fun.

The seventh years were going to steal the teachers' surveys.

Finally, Draco found himself standing next to a tapestry in which some absolute moron was trying to teach trolls to dance. Shaking his head in contempt at the scene depicted, Draco looked around. This was where Granger said the entrance was, right? Frowning, he concentrated on what she'd said to him earlier.

"On the seventh floor, opposite that tapestry of Barnabas the Balmy, d'you know the one?" she asked optimistically.

Draco snorted. "No, actually, I don't." With a slight twinge of guilt at the crestfallen look on her face, he continued. "But I'm sure I can find it all the same. About seven then, was it?"

"Seven sharp" she replied, mock-serious, before laughing. "Honestly Malfoy, I didn't think I'd get you to say you'd come so easily!"

He smirked. "Anything for a chance to get a one-up on the teachers. I certainly know my survey was never meant for their eyes. Besides, I might be able to find some good black-mail material."

Instead of the rebuke he expected after his last comment, Draco was met with an evil little chuckle. "Already thought of that one Malfoy."


She smiled at the shock on his face.

"See you at seven, Malfoy."

As he broke out of his thoughts, Draco suddenly found himself standing in front of a highly polished wooden door. Stunned, he simply stood there as the brass handle turned, and the door swung inwards, revealing a hard-faced Hermione Granger. "I thought I said seven sharp, Malfoy," she said sternly, before breaking out into a grin. "Come on in."

Not quite knowing what to expect, Draco followed the young witch in, and was met by the sight of nearly all of the seventh year, seated in squashy chintz (here he noticed a distinct red and gold colour scheme repeating itself here – bet it was bloody Potter) armchairs, which were situated haphazardly in a circle. Briefly glaring at Crabbe and Goyle, Draco looked around, and into the cool, green gaze of Harry Potter.

"Nice to see you finally found us, Malfoy," Harry stated dryly. Draco slowly let his trademark smirk fill his face, before looking around at his fellow Slytherins. "Pansy not here?" he asked emotionlessly. Blaise Zabini looked up.

"Nope. Haven't seen her since dinner, now that I think about it," he said slowly. Harry walked over. "Actually, Pansy wasn't invited. Hermione said she'd drink one of Neville's potions before she sat down and talked with, and I quote, "that arrogant, moronic bitch"," he laughed. Draco grinned.

"Thank Merlin for that!"

Harry grinned too, before having a quick look around the room. "Well, I think everyone's here, so we can probably get started."

Catching Hermione's eye, Harry walked to the centre of the room. As his fellow witches and wizards noticed him, their talking stopped, and Harry began. "Well, by now, I think you all know why we're here." At this, the regular 'Actually, we've got no idea' comments were made (quite loudly by Ron in particular), and a ripple of laughter spread through the room. At this, Hermione stood up. Rolling her eyes at a certain red-headed Weasley, she took over from Harry. "Our darling professors have been stealing our private surveys, and we want revenge. We're fairly sure that they've been doing them too, so it's just a matter of getting or hands on them," she said simply.

Draco watched the eager and hopeful grins roll around the group. Of course they were happy – their surveys had been disappearing (as if by 'magic' thought Draco dryly) for over a month now, and while it may not seem like that big of a deal to anyone else, well… basically, it was to them. After all, it was their personal information, an insight into their characters and personalities, and someone had the nerve to steal it. So while, yes, Draco could understand, and share, their happiness, it wasn't enough for him. Something was missing…

"So that's it then, is it?" Draco's voice rang out through the room. Hermione raised her eyebrow in silent question as he continued. "I mean, it's all well and good to get their surveys, but honestly, it's not much of a revenge." Draco finished with a sneer. Padma Patil, opposite Draco, shrugged. "He's got a point, you know. It is rather boring to just take theirs."

Impatiently, Hermione broke in. "Fine, we'll show them they shouldn't have messed with us. Set jinxes, traps, embarrass and blackmail -" here she looked slyly at Malfoy, "We'll have our revenge." Suddenly, she chuckled, and the mood was broken. "Actually, we were planning on doing that anyway, but the problem is, we have to get the surveys first." Hermione looked around the room. "So really, the reason you're here is so we can figure out just what we're going to do." he said. Draco laughed. "Oh goody, a brainstorming session." Glaring at Draco, Harry spoke up. "So… does anyone have any ideas?"

The students looked around at each other, and a few ideas were mumbled, but mainly, Harry's question was met by blank looks. "Maybe this'd be a good time for refreshments then," laughed Hermione. As a number of tables absolutely loaded with drinks, cakes, and all kinds of sweets (Dobby had been only too willing to help Harry and Hermione) appeared in the centre of the room, causing a rush from most of the young witches and wizards, Ron walked over to Hermione and Harry.

"Well, that went just peachy, didn't it?" Ron said sarcastically. "Absolutely flooded with brilliant ideas."

Hermione sneered (Malfoy would have been proud) at Ron. "Oh, ha-ha, why don't you become a comedian? Look, if you can't be useful at the moment, I don't want to hear it," she said disdainfully. Ron jumped back, mock-scared, and fell straight into Millicent (which really was enough to scare Ron), who, along with Draco and Crabbe, had come to talk to Harry.

"Great nosh, Potter! Really top grub," rumbled Millicent through a mouthful of treacle tart. Slightly surprised, Harry responded as he sidestepped to avoid the spray of crumbs. "Err… thanks, but it was really all Dobby…" he started, before Millicent cut him off. "Actually, I was thinking," (Draco rolled his eyes) "I was thinking, since this food's so good, and seeing we can probably get more of it, why don't we bribe the teachers with it and get their surveys! You know, exchange them!" she finished excitedly, proud with her brilliant idea. Harry smiled kindly at her as Draco smacked his forehead in frustration. "Well, it's a pretty good idea Millicent, but you see, we've gotten all this food from the kitchens, which means the teachers can get it too."

Millicent frowned at Harry. "So?" she questioned, rather aggressively. As Harry started in alarm, Draco moved forwards. "Hey Millie, you see the new cake from Honeydukes? Just been invented, I think there's still some over there," he said, pointing to the far side of the room, "and if you hurry, hey, you might even get some!" he said encouragingly to Millicent's swiftly retreating back. Harry sighed in relief. "Thanks, Malfoy. Thought she was gonna knock me out for a second there."

Malfoy smirked. "Nothing to it – her love of food could probably rival Goyle's," he drawled. Ron turned to look over to the table where Millicent was currently stuffing her face. "Yeah, not to mention her size. She's so bloody huge, she could probably take Hagrid on!" he laughed. Suddenly, he stopped. "Hey, yeah, there's an idea – why don't we just set all the big Slytherin lugs onto the teachers, 'n bash the surveys out of them!"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Well, for starters, it's against the rules Ron," she said, and Harry piped up in the background – "I read it in Hogwarts; A History"he said in a disgustingly high pitched voice. Hitting him in the arm, Hermione continued. "But I mean, it'd never work. The second they realised they were being attacked, the professors would curse their attackers to pieces."

Ron frowned. "So we'd end up with no more slimy bloody Gorillas running around the place…" he said, then grinned. "So when are we gonna try it?"

Crabbe, completely oblivious to the conversation (it'd zoomed straight over his head like a Quidditch player on crack), broke in. "I've got it!" he yelled. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, and most of the room stared at him in amazement (Crabbe with an idea!). Crabbe looked around. "We beat up the teachers… with food!" he cheered. The students looked at him… and turned back to whatever they'd been doing. "Combining the two stupid ideas we already had, Crabbe, you truly are a moron" said Draco tiredly. "Just sod off and get some food, alright?" he said, and a grinning Crabbe waddled off to join Millicent.

The four students moved over to the drinks table to get some pumpkin juice. As Draco filled his goblet with one hand, he shook the other in exasperation. "Fuck it!" he said angrily, and then laughed at the stern look he received from Hermione. "Oh, sod off Granger. You're just as pissed off as I am they we haven't got any decent ideas yet," he said knowingly. Hermione glared at him, but withheld the string of swearwords she longed to let rip at Draco. Instead, she pulled out her wand, pointed it straight at the offending Slytherin, and muttered a charm.

Sniggers broke out from all those nearby. "Nice robes, Draco!" said Blaise Zabini. "Yeah," laughed Terry Boot, "pink satin really suits you! Dead sexy," he chuckled. Hermione had indeed been irritated at the lack of ideas, and Draco had picked the very wrong time to point it out. As Draco looked down in horror at his (now suspiciously pink-satin looking) robes, Hermione smiled at the slight blush that crept across his face. "Gorgeous, Malfoy. Simply gorgeous," she purred evilly. Blaise smirked. "Merlins arse Draco, you could probably get Snape to go for you wearing robes like that."

As Draco scowled at his fellow Slytherin, Ron snapped his fingers. "Ha, I've got it! We get someone to ah, 'proposition' a teacher, if you get my drift," he said with a wink. Deliberately ignoring the large number of looks directed his way, Malfoy spoke up. "Nice, but who'd be so low that they'd come on to a teacher?"

"Pansy'd probably do it," said Hermione. Draco shuddered as the whole group laughed. "Yeah, she probably would, that's the sad thing," said Draco. "And," added Harry, "any teacher that she tried it on'd say no."

Hermione smiled as a thought crossed her mind. "Or the poor thing would die of shock and disgust." This got laughs out of her fellow students as they imagined a pink-clad Pansy attempting to flirt with Snape, causing the professor to curl up screaming on the ground, before abruptly freezing in death. Ron managed to come up with a positive though. "Well, I guess once she'd killed off the teacher, she could steal the survey for us," he pointed out. Draco raised an eyebrow. "Possibly, but most likely the vengeful cow'd keep it for herself."

As the students pondered Draco's words (the idea, after all, had just been for a laugh – no one seriously thought it could work), Terry Boot, a Ravenclaw, spoke up. "You know, I've been thinking about something Millicent said before."

Padma, who'd walked over with Paravti, smirked. "What, you hungry?" she asked. Terry laughed along with everyone else. "No, nothing to do with food. Millicent talked about using food as a bribe; what I want to know is, is bribing the teachers an option?" enquired the Ravenclaw.

Harry and Hermione looked thoughtfully at each other. "Bribing… yes," started Hermione, "But not a teacher, unless we get really desperate," finished Harry. Ron looked around. "Well, that's great and all, but we need something to bribe with, and I don't know about anyone else," he looked around, "but I don't particularly want to give anything of mine up." Ron said gravely. Parvati frowned. "So what are we supposed to use?" she asked. As she asked, two (slightly evil) minds clicked, and the pairs of eyes attached to each brain met. "We give them the chance to help us get revenge on the teachers," said Draco. "We give them the chance to have a lot of fun doing it, too," agreed Hermione.

"They'll get to cause mayhem."


"Chaos, if we do it right."

"They can have full accessibility to any blackmail material we uncover."


"Yes Malfoy, full."

"Ahh, fine. They can play any number of tricks…"

"Well, more than usual, anyway…"

"But overall, they get to be a complete and utter bastard, and have a good time doing it."

Hermione and Draco spoke together. "We get Peeves."

In the background, Ron spoke quietly to himself. "But, isn't Peeves a bastard anyway?"

The last class of the day had just left the dungeons, but, for once, this hadn't brought Snape any joy. This was because, now, he was forced to devote all his attention on a highly annoying poltergeist that had been following him all afternoon. Not only that, but today it appeared that Peeves was actually going out of his way to be a real prick (much more so than usual) .

"Oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhh, looky what little old Peevesy's got in his hot little hand," cackled Peeves for the umpteenth time. Determined not to look, Snape brought out his standard response. "Sod off."

This time, instead of zooming around shrieking in delight, Peeves broke out in song.

"Looks like Snape's a real mess

Seems like he's got PMS

Wonder when he's going to crack

Maybe he should try Prozac?"

Fuming, Snape strode out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Peeves popped through the wall, and caught up after him. "What, don't like my singing? Ah, what a pity," he said gleefully. Snape continued to march along the corridor, before reaching and entering his office. As he sat down exasperatedly, Peeves floated in front of him. "Funny," he said dreamily, "I thought you teachers were dying to get your hands on these surveys."

As Snape looked up sharply, Peeves waved around the piece of paper in his hand. "Obviously not though," he smirked. Snape stood up, thrusting his chair away as he did. "Peeves…" he growled warningly. Peeves smiled. "Well… so long Professor!"

As Snape lunged across his desk for the survey, Peeves sped out the door. Clenching his fists in frustration, Snape vaulted his desk and took off after Peeves.

Harry, Hermione, Ron and Draco watched as Snape took off up the stairs after Peeves, who'd given them roughly half an hour before Snape returned to his office. "Right, let's get searching, shall we?" said Hermione determinedly, and the four students walked through the door that, in his obsession for the surveys, Snape had forgotten to lock…

Peeves was starting to regret leading Snape into the staffroom. Oh well, those mischievous students should have had enough time by now, and he really had had a good time listening to Snapes (and the other teachers that had joined the chase) screams for him to relinquish the survey. As he looked at the numerous wands, and slightly deranged eyes, that were fixed on him, he gave out a small giggle. "Oh, sorry, I didn't realise you were talking to me!" he said innocently. Shrinking back from the snarls that followed his comment, he continued. "You want the survey? Oh, all yours!" he said assuredly. Dropping the survey, he promptly disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Like a pack of wild animals, the Hogwarts staff dived for the survey. They'd gone months without anything new, been denied for so long!

Finally, they settled down… and started reading.

Starting time? 9:17 pm


Full name? Lavender Sophia Brown

Nicknames? I get called 'Lav' sometimes…

Birthday? February 25th

Age? 17

Sex? Female

Siblings? Yeah (unfortunately for me)

Star sign? Pisces

Single or taken? Taken

Hair? Brown

Eyes? Green

Best and worst features (in your opinion)? Well, there must be something good about me to get Dean to go out with me… good personality? I hope…. Hmm, worst… well, I certainly can't See as well as I'd like to :P Oh well…

Blood? Half

Pets? Yeah, I've got rabbits back home.

A bit more personal

First kiss - who/where/when? Seamus/Great Hall/4th year. Yule Ball celebrations, few too many Butterbeers, well…ha; you can guess the rest ;)

Ever pashed? Ahahaha…

Still a virgin? Nope

If not, who/where/when? Well, seeing as he's already gone and bloody told everyone… Dean/ Gryffindor common room/6th year.

Current crush? Dean!

Ever had a crush on a teacher? No (Ha, Parvati, I can't believe you like him! Ha ha ha…)

Who do you hate the most? Pansy Parkinson, the Slut of Slytherin… whoops, did I just say that? Haha, oh well…

What do you sleep in? Silk nightie. Dean loves it.


What house are you in? Gryffindor

Who is your favourite teacher? Professor Trelawney. Who else would I choose?

Who is your least favourite teacher? Hmm… Snape. But I know someone that doesn't mind his classes ;D

Favourite subject? Divination!

Successes? Erm… not really. I don't mind though.

Rule breaker? I don't think you could really call me one…


Besties? Parvati.

Loudest? Ron. Ha, does he ever shut up? I don't know how Parvati can… oops. I say no more :D

Shyest? Neville. Poor bloke, has everyone put him here?

Who do you go to for advice? Parvati, or Professor Trelawney.

In life


Been Close To Death? No (thankfully)

Been Cursed? Yeah, in 4th year. Really must thank Dumbeldore for letting Moody 'show' us what it feels like…

Killed Someone? Of course not!

Saved Someone? No

Been in love? Yep, pretty sure!

Smoked? Nope

Gone skinny-dipping? Quite a few times, actually. You should give it a go!

Broken the law? Nope

Made yourself cry to get out of trouble? No

Made yourself throw up? No, but I've just tried lol (Ginny's 'attack' on Snape inspired us all for a while ;D)

Kissed a toad? What, you mean Trevor? No!

Been rejected? Nah

Fallen for your best friend? Ha, no

Used someone? Nope

Been used? Damn, better not have been!

Most embarrassing moment? Ah. Yep, gotta agree with Dean; that time McGonagall walked in on us. Guess it's our fault for doing it in the common room :P But you know, I still can't look her in the eye…

Scariest moment? Well, after we fought the Boggart in 3rd year, I was dreaming about that bloody spider that scared Ron so much. Anyway, I was dreaming that it came into our dorm… and then I woke up and THERE WAS A SPIDER ON MY FACE! Freaked me right out, I can tell you now…

Dream job? Seer

Role model? Professor Trelawney

Goal in life? To be a Seer

Special talents? I'm hoping that I've got the ability to become a Seer!


Animal? Hmm… rabbits!

Colour? Purple

Food? Humbugs…what?

Drink? Butterbeer ;)

Place to shop? Oh, Madame Malkins!

Spell? Don't know.

Thing you own? Ask the hard questions why don't you :P Umm… my clothes? Ha, no, just joking; that's so dumb, Pansy'd say it… wait, no, she's not that shallow…

Thing to do? Well, there are a few things that Dean and I are quite fond of… but I'm sure you don't want the details… right? ;)

Quidditch team/position? Gryffindor, of course, and… I'm going with Beater. It must be a lot of fun smacking the absolute hell out of stuff :D

Motto/quote? There has been opposition to every innovation in the history of man, with the possible exception of the sword.

Morning or night? Night

Summer or winter? Winter

Lefty or righty? Lefty

Gold or silver? Gold


Person to make you cry? Well, Parvati. We had a pillow fight, and her pillow hit me in the eye :P

Person to see you cry? Parvati, Hermione, Ginny.

Person you were mean to? Does it count when I smacked Parvati back with my pillow? Heh heh…

Time you fought with your parents? Can't remember :P

Time you made a wish? Oh, like I can really remember… ok, about a week ago; please let Dean remember our 1-year anniversary. He did ;)

Time you laughed? Ha, the pillow fight we had. So… 20 minutes ago?

Time you read a book? This afternoon; Divination.

Thing you ate? Chocolate


Are you scared of most? Hmm… heh heh, I know. Hermione when you haven't done your homework!

Are you listening to right now? Hermione bitching about Harry, Ron, and homework :P

Are you wearing right now? My PJs

Do you think of these surveys? Hmmm, so-so I guess

Is your least favourite thing to do? Anything involving slime (Had a bad experience in Herbology… don't ask)

Is your biggest hope/dream?

What's worse:

Barfing on your date or your date barfing on you? Barfing on your date. How embarrassing would that be!

Seeing someone die or you dying? Seeing someone die… you know, someone that you cared about, not someone like, say… Pansy "Slytherin-slut-whore" Parkinson :P

Being helpless or doing something you will regret? Doing something you'll regret.

Most likely to respond to this? Don't know

Most likely not to respond to this? Don't care

Time now? 9:34pm

Content after a very long time, Snape almost nodded off in his happiness… and then he remembered. He'd left his office door unlocked…

So what'd you guys think? Do you like it more with a lot more story with it, or do you think it sucks, and just want the survey? I think this is definitely my biggest chapter so far (lol, guess it was a long time coming, huh), and I like it more than the others, but tell me what you think (and how was Peeves' song? Pretty good for 1:30am, huh? Lol)

Thankyou for your patience