Sesshomaru/ Kagome. If you don't like it, take it up with the agent I don't have.
I'm sorry if anybody's out of character. Well... The only people included are really Sesshomaru and Kagome...
Disclaimer: In my pockets -- Fourteen cents and half a pack of Spearmint gum. Inu-Yasha isn't in there, sorry.
On my Knees, Begging -- Please!
He was on his knees. The great demon lord, Sesshomaru, brought to his knees by the death of his adopted daughter. He couldn't heal her, his ward... Rin.
Why? Why wouldn't Tensaiga heal her?
'She was given a second chance once already, Master.'
She was innocent! She should still live!
There were tears in his eyes, though he could not shed them. He needed to be strong until he returned home, where he could weep should he so choose.
She loved him... She was all he had known of love. Her gap-toothed smile and her flowers and never-ending energy. And she was gone, just like that. The snap of his fingers... He loved her. His little one, sweet Rin...
He rose slowly to his feet, taking the limp body of his child into his arms. So light, so fragile, so many bruises...
Sesshomaru looked around the battlefield. So much destruction. The toxic fumes of miasma slowly dissipating. The land for miles around destroyed completely.
Others were in mourning. The young miko broken by the departure of her kit. Inu-Yasha holding the body of his deceased love. The monk and demon hunter both injured and bleeding, being tended to by the elder miko. The northern lord, Kouga, racing back to the remainder of his pack.
Four bodies lying on the ground, scattered across what was once a field. The demon hunter's brother, the wind witch, the child bearing the soul-sucking mirror...
And that of Naraku.
Were it in his power, he would revive Naraku only to kill him again and again. To make him feel the anguish he had brought upon the world. But should he revive the wretched half-breed, what else might he destroy?
"Jaken," he called to the toad-like creature crouching some feet away while still looking at the surrounding area.
"Yes, milord?" came the tentative reply.
Someone was approaching. That scent... "Prepare Ah-Un." Cherry blossoms and lotus. Blood, some her own, and some of another being. The miko...
"Yes, milord!" The toad scrambled from the vicinity, off to do his lord's bidding.
"Shippo... " she whispered, the tears pouring down her cheeks. He had saved her life by sacrificing his own.
He shouldn't have done it! He'd still be alive if it weren't for her...
She held his body close to her own, wishing to the core of her being he were alive. Kagome wanted him to live, to see him live. She wanted to see him grow up, take a mate and give her grandchildren of a sort.
She didn't want to bury him, never be able to see him again...
Kagome wiped the tears from her eyes and stood up with her kit held close to herself. With the battle over, she'd have to thank Sesshomaru for his aid and help Kaede tend to the wounded. She would bury her kit, and mourn. And she would return to her world where demons didn't exist -- where pain came from murder and rape and boyfriends...
She didn't want to have to see anyone else die like Shippo did. For her... She couldn't bear the thought of that happening to Sango or Miroku, or any of the others. They were family.
Slowly, so as not to disturb anything, she limped toward the demon lord, clutching her kit in her arms. She winced from the pain of her wounds.
She stood there behind him, half of her afraid of him, half of her grateful to him for helping in the defeat of Naraku. Kagome couldn't just let him leave without thanking him... They had needed his help so badly. There had been casualties, of course, but with him to help it didn't look quite so bad for the survivors.
"Lord Sesshomaru... Thank you." She didn't really know what else to say to him as he turned and she saw the dead body of her sweet little Rin in his arms and the pained look on his face. "Rin... ? But she -- no! She can't be dead... "
He stood there, saying nothing, just looking at her. She felt like she was going to cry, again. The tears were there, in her eyes. But she couldn't -- she would mourn after the dead were buried.
"And yet she is," was the distressed reply.
She bit back her tears, "I -- I'm very sorry... I loved her like she was my own... " Her voice was cracking, her heart crumbling with the death of another friend...
"... I loved her like she was my own... "
"She will be missed by all," and with that he turned in the direction of the two-headed dragon and left the miko alone with the kit in her arms.
She was walking, quite slowly, in a completely random direction. She'd needed to get away from the crying, though she knew she'd been doing enough of that herself. But she had to get away from the sadness.
Kagome had meant to leave after the burial, but how could she? She didn't want to leave this era, she loved living the way she did in the past. Lying awake at night, gazing up at the stars. At least here, she could do so. In the future there was so much pollution, good luck trying to find the moon. But she had to go sometime. She didn't belong in the past. As she'd been told by Inu-Yasha on more than one occasion -- she was a hindrance. A burden.
Her thoughts drifted between Shippo and Rin. They were both innocent... Was it always to be that the innocent were those to die?
The happy images and memories of Shippo flashed in her mind, all turning grotesque by the evils of Naraku. She could remember his red hair and tail, and she could see him drenched in blood. His ears and his claws. His smile... He was smiling when he died.
He saved his mama... He was proud of himself.
She was angry all of a sudden, so very angry. She felt overcome with madness, so desperate -- why? She slid to her knees and screamed her heart out. Her eyes clenched shut, her fists beating the ground.
"Why?" She cried, whispered to herself, tears bubbling behind her closed eyes. "Why did they have to die?"
Kagome screamed again. Her miko energy was flaring all around her body, she couldn't handle feeling the things she was feeling. Such loss and depression... Deep loathing. She was slowly killing herself with her own energy, too blind with rage to see it.
"Why did they die? They were innocent!"
A voice came from in front of her, "One does not grow without feeling pain, miko. It is the way of things."
She gasped, and her head shot up quickly, her energy pulsing rapidly before slowing to a minimum. Sesshomaru, but when did he arrive? She should have been able to sense him.
"They were innocent... " She whimpered, her thoughts scattered in every direction.
"As were most who were killed by the half-breed." She could feel the hate in his voice, the bitterness was so overpowering. He stood there -- silent, looking down on her. The look on his face the same as always, just a little softer than usual.
She was so confused. He looked almost normal, his eyes were clouded with something, but she couldn't tell what it was. It wasn't sadness or despair. Didn't he miss her? Rin was his ward. His child...
The miko looked broken, completely defeated, like she had nothing more to live for. Perhaps now she doesn't, he thought.
"How can you... Just... How can you stand there... And know that she's gone... ? She'll never come back... ?"
He was hurting, he wanted his daughter to live. But he knew she could not.
He wanted her, the miko, he wanted to help her understand that her kit was gone. Perhaps... He could give her comfort.
She could return that comfort.
After a time, he calmly replied, "It is painful."
She looked to the ground -- for what? Comfort? Sympathy? In such a world, there could be no sympathy, and the ground did not offer comfort save for the dead. There was a cycle, of life and death. Pain, hidden away at times by secret joys and happy thoughts and memories. All these things could fade.
He stepped toward her, and her eyes met his. He was so close to her, her scent all the more beautiful laced with the salt of her tears. "I will give you that which you seek."
She looked so confused, looking up into his eyes. "What do I seek?"
He knelt in front of her. "Life."
Again, she looked to the ground. Could she not handle his presence? "I am alive." The sadness in her voice was hurting him. He knew what it was to lose a child. "How can you give me life?"
"By giving you joy," was his simple response. He needed her to understand.
New tears in her eyes, sliding down her cheeks. "Shippo... Is gone now. There is no joy left in this world. Not without him."
"Perhaps there is no joy. But there is comfort in passion." His hand rose to touch her face, to lift her face to look at him. "I can give that to you. I can help you accept the passing of our children."
His eyes were filled with such sorrow, she could nearly feel his heart breaking... Just as hers was. Kindred spirits -- one and the same.
'Easy his pain. Share his sadness.'
Kagome leaned forward, her lips meeting with his as she pushed him to the ground. She could feel him responding, his hand sliding from the ground to her lower back and his tail memorizing the curves of her body.
Their spirits were dancing, much like their bodies. Fervent kisses, heated touches. It was needed, this passionate acceptance. This silent madness, being driven into oblivion by the desperate moans and urgent needs being fulfilled.
Intertwined, body and spirit. Such a fusion everlasting, winding down the road to complete consumption of life and energy. Desire and agony, lust and carnal pleasure fixed into their essences. Completion, coming swiftly.
Rolling int he grass, flying to the stars. Magic rushing and electricity pulsing through and through.
The rush and excitement rising to that place above in the clouds -- coming and coming, almost complete. More and more, keep going, keep the dance in motion.
Don't stop don't stop! Almost together, make us one!
The moment, rushing and rushing, coming so quickly.
'Mark her! Mark her and make her yours!'
He was fighting for control, needing her and loving her. Her scent intoxicating, her desire for him, the flooding emotion and passion boiling to the surface, bubbling over and over. He could hear her moaning his name. He could feel her fingernails digging into his back.
She was his, only his.
The blood was pulsing in his veins, aching for hers. The mingling of such blood, the culmination of such a bond... The thoughts being pushed to the far corners of his mind.
He couldn't mark her. Such a union would be unacceptable by both societies... If she chose to deny him, give her love to another...
Tears forced their way to his eyes, and a red haze clouded his vision.
He couldn't have her. He could love her from afar, but never have her love in return. He could share her passion and desire, and seek a half completion in her body. He could beg her... He could take her innocence and be lost in the stampeding pleasure. But never could he have her.
Her body was lost, burning and pulsing and being pushed up to the place above. She was going to fall soon... Too soon. Lost in that place, so far up, tangled in the web of delight and fire. The magic all around, dancing and swimming.
Her heart beating so fast, harder and faster. More and mre.
Her mouth seeking his, her kisses feathering his face. Her hands searching his body, keeping him close. She couldn't keep still, she wanted to move with him. She pressed her body achingly close to his, her back arching against him.
It's all over after...
She would have wept were it not for the pleasure swirling about her, pushing her over the edge into that dark oblivion. With him... Only with him.
Mine... Please... Mine!
Her despair and desire, lack of completion, forcing her energy to build up. Up and up, like the mountain she'd climbed and was falling from so quickly...
Their spirits were being pulled back into their bodies. The dance was over. No more love, no more loving.
Crashing... Falling frantically. Clutching the moment, and the feelings.
Completion so close... Evanescent.
Come back, come back! The aching is coming back, make it stop! Come again! Never let go! We must be complete. Begging, please!
Bring it back; take us back to that place! Dancing above, with the stars and the love and never let it end. Again, again. Together forever!
Her energy was pulsing, her spirit being drug back into her body away from her lover. She very nearly screamed her confusion. Expanding, rushing out all over.
Earthbound again. So exhausted...
He couldn't remember everything what happened the first... Couldn't remember everything about any of the nights they'd spent together. The effects of their spirits desperate to become one and her miko energy reaching the highest pinnacle of ecstasy and anguish. And though he loved her...
Marking her would be unacceptable. Such a union between a miko and a demon would be greatly frowned upon, and their children would be scorned. Half-breeds...
He stood silently, perched on a high branch of a cedar tree. Watching her, always watching her -- he had to keep her safe. She knew.
His miko, his Kagome, she was he had left of love with Rin gone.
Did she love him in return? She needed him, this much he knew. She had inteded to leave, return to her home in the future, and had stayed for him. That first night, she'd given him his arm. Unintentionally, he had guessed.
But what of love? Did she love him?
She didn't want to wait until the night, or until she was alone. She needed him, loved him, and longed for him. Always. She was never satisfied, she always wanted more. Kagome was complete while he was inside her, while they were connected and their spirits were intertwined in their sweet delight.
But the feelings of being complete went away after. Why couldn't he just mark her? Sure he knew how she felt about him... Wasn't it obvious?
She couldn't wait to be back in his arms, loving him again and again under the moon and the stars. Her body was restless, aching with desire. She could feel him watching her, always always watching.
She wanted to touch her body all over, feel his aura spike. She wanted him to come to her, sweep her away from everything. To mark her and give in to the feelings that were consuming her, night and day for so long. How long? Six months? Seven?
But... Why wouldn't he mark her?
"Sesshomaru, please! We've been lovers for almost a year already! I can't keep hiding like this!" She held back her tears and pushed forward. "You can't even mark me! I'm not technically your mate."
He was shocked and angered by her words, she should know by now how much she meant to him. She had to know.
"You are mine. You will belong to no other demon but the Sesshomaru!"
"I'm not a toy! What if another demon comes along and decides to make me his mate? What then, Sesshomaru?" She spoke out of anger and depression, she need him so desperately.
He glared at her, his body moving dangerously close to hers. "I will kill any who dare take what is mine."
The fires ignited once more, and their spirits pushing, floating, desperate again. The crying voice inside him aching to make her his own...
"And why the hell is now not a good time, Sesshomaru? Why has it never been the right time?"
She was upset again... Coming out of the ecstatic stupor their bodies created. She had the right to be angry, she was staying in the past to be with him. She hadn't been to her home in three years.
"Our union would be seen as a disgrace, Kagome. Our children forced to live as half-breeds, hated and hunted. Is this what you want?"
"Kagome, understand. This Sesshomaru would have given you permission to speak of our union in the beginning were it a possibility." She was always questioning him about marking her. She knew of the demon customs.
'Mark her, damnit!'
"I have given you my body and my spirit, and all my love... Why can you not give me yours? Make me yours."
'She wants you! You must mark her!'
"I cannot place such a danger upon you. You are far too important."
She was going to leave if he didn't make her his mate. She couldn't handle feeling so lost without him, knowing he was always so close but never hers.
He'd never told her he loved her. Not once. But in her heart, she wanted to believe he did. Why else would he come to her every night, watching her every move during the day? She was never alone -- never without him. And yet she had never felt the true combining of their spirits... Because he wouldn't mark her.
If he didn't mark her, it proved he didn't love her. Kagome had always thought he didn't love her, and tonight...
Tonight she would know.
"I'm leaving," he heard her whisper. He knew what she meant, but he couldn't allow it, never. She was his, she would belong to no one else.
"I forbid it." He was moving closer to her, and she was stepping back. Was she afraid of him? Did she think he would hurt her?
"You are not my mate to forbid me anything, Sesshomaru," was the slow reply, as she continued to slowly move back. She didn't smell afraid... She didn't know how to be afraid of him.
"You will not go," he commanded.
"I am! I'm tired of your excuses." She was so quiet... She looked broken, her voice. She was broken. "Waiting and wanting and never being yours. You will never mark me, it won't ever be the right time!"
She stopped moving, allowing him to approach. He was aching from the pain in her voice. "You will leave because I fear for you?"
He was struggling to remain in control. His instincts urging him to mark her, take her again and again until she realized who's bitch she truly was. "I need you. I am lost with out you."
She was speaking to wound, as she was wounded. "Not lost enough."
"You are one to speak! You claim to love and need me, and you will not stay with me." He couldn't stop, he didn't want to stop. Control was slipping... "Perhaps it is you, Kagome, you who is afraid of-"
And she slapped him, she couldn't handle anymore.
"Yes! Yes I need you and I love you and I burn for you night and day! But I cannot stay if there is no future!" Tears were threatening to spill from her eyes, she was nearly whimpering. "I want more form you than this. But... I don't think you want it at all... You want these nights where you can take me to bed and play with my body and feel the energy racing through you... Not me... "
His control on the silent rage that had been building inside him snapped, and a harshness leapt to his voice as his hands did to her shoulders, shaking her roughly. "I want you, all of you. If I can't have you, I have nothing! I have no one! Rin is gone, remember? You are all I have of love!
And yet you say I have shown you nothing but lust. Perhaps it is lust for a piece of something I know I cannot truly have. I'll never be able to keep you!" Hurting so very much inside, that rage, that voice, wanting to make her hurt as much as she was hurting him. "You are not mine to keep. You belong to that world, to that time. But even so, you are mine and you belong to me."
She was trembling, her voice scratching against her throat. "If I am yours, why do you not claim me?"
"You would not be accepted into demon society any more than I would be accepted into that of humans."
And that was it... The threshold of her pain broken and the tears were pouring down her cheeks. "... You care more about society than you do me... You've never once told me you love me... I'm leaving Sesshomaru. You'll have to find a new play toy."
He slid to his knees, his face buried against her stomach, his arms wrapped around her waist. She doesn't know... She's never known. He could she not know?
I've loved her so long! Why doesn't she know?
'You wouldn't mark her. Keep her. Mark her!'
"Please... " his voice was breaking, as was his heart. "Do not go. I do, Kagome. I love you as I love nothing else."
"You must not." Such cruelty... How could she not know? And now, it was too late. She didn't believe him at all. He could never convince her. "If you had, I would have been yours long ago.
'One more night. Give us one more night.'
He looked up into her teary face, he felt so weak. He was losing her... "Let me love you one more time. Give me this last memory."
She was sinking. Kagome needed to be with him just as equally as he did. She could already feel her spirit floating up to that dance in the sky, joining with his to that near-completeness.
She let herself drown in sensation, pulled closer and closer to his body. Their lips joining in heated kisses, their hands meeting and touching and melting. She knew he'd take her slowly, he'd take his time. He'd go over her body, rememorize every curve and hot spot. He'd never forget how she liked to be touched.
She felt so hot, so dazed and excited. She was losing herself in a vastness, expanding, growing. Seeking...
She could already feel herself winding up that spiraling staircase, and she could feel herself falling, so fast. A new place, somewhere warmer. Where? Where was she falling?
Such a slow dance this time, so much.
Always alone, so much alone...
We must stay together. Always. Forever. Never apart.
Take control, must be complete!
He was sliding and sliding, pulsing and beating, his body climbing dangerously close to the edge of the precipice. He was holding on so tight, he couldn't let go. But he was.. He was slipping -- his control was slipping.
Sesshomaru closed his eyes, keeping in the tears...
His spirit so desperate for the completion of their bond, it was taking over. His instints were taking over, so quickly.
His fangs were growing, he was going to mark her. He had to. He needed to. She had to be his, she couldn't belong to someone else.
He couldn't see anything anymore, his vision was so clouded, so dazed. His desire for her reaching the height of the mountain, that cliff... He was going to explode, combust. What did it matter so long as she was his?
The dance was frenzied, so quick and in control... New and different. Their spirits were flying higher and higher, so high to ecstasy and oblivion. Flying past the stars...
Moaning and cheering, so near to bursting.
"I love you... " his body whispered. And they soared, so in control
Always together now, always. Her body believed him, no doubts anymore.
He bit her, and she did the same, that place -- the juncture between the neck and collar bone -- they'd marked each other.
She was his.
He was hers.
She was screaming her passion, she was delirious in her desire, she was falling so fast. And he was insane with his rapture, drawing her body closer and closer to his own.
Complete now... So complete. So perfect.
As the rough spasms of pleasure slowly subsided, he opened his eyes to look down at her, the taste of her blood in his mouth. So sweet. He could see his own blood on her lips, and he could see fangs retracting to normal size.
She was changed... Changing.
Her hair was growing all around, ebony tresses surrounding them. She felt taller beneath him, her breasts swelling under his weight.
He tried to move away from her, but found a tail not of his body holding him between her thighs, keeping them connected. Her fingernails, previously doing no damage by digging into his shoulder blades, growing to claws that pierced his skin and drew blood.
He growled and smirked, still slightly weak from loving her. "Mine. Mate."
She heard what he said, and opened her eyes. So beautiful. Amber eyes. "What?"
"You are mine," he replied with a cockiness that almost annoyed her.
"I assure you, Sesshomaru, I am not." Even as she said this, he knew she could taste the blood in her mouth, and see the mark on his neck.
"I marked you, and you did the same. You are mine."
"But... How is that... How is such a thing possible?" Her hand reached up to touch her neck, where there was sure to be pain, his own neck was in no better shape.
He was still admiring her, looking at her through hazy eyes. He wanted to love her again and again, and he would. "You are a demon now. I'd let you take a look, but in a minute, you're going to be busy. You're claimed now, you have a true mate. You will not leave. And should I need to, I will forbid it."
She looked so confused, lying beneath him, still connected, wanting more. He could see it written all over her face. "Why now?"
"Your spirit, in so much pain, changed you and mine in the same condition, took control and marked you." Easy enough explanation, why should there be a need for more? He wanted her, again and again. And he was going to have her.
He softly lapped up the blood around the mark. He flexed his hips, pushing his growing erection deeper inside her. When he heard the desired response, a deep moan, he whispered in her ear, "Now if you've no more questions, mate, I'd like to begin again."
She was already exploring him, touching him, couldn't seem to stop. Wanted him as much as he wanted her, always, begging for more. Whimpering and crying out...
More and more, higher and higher. Spirits begging, please!
A.N: I am very sorry if you don't know what went on for the minority or majority of the story. That happens sometimes with me... I get caught up and I write and write and the flow is so off it doesn't make sense.
If you want to, review and ask a question, and I'll give the details and whatnot.