Review Responses:

As-Shaams: Sorry, Jacques won't make it out of VFD alive... You don't know how much I wanted to change that...

Visualpurple: Sorry it took so long to update this last chapter... School kept me REALLY REALLY busy... My sincerest apologies to all of my readers...

Martain Aries: Wow. I'm glad you liked it so much! I hope you will like the next one (once I figure what to write about)

Last Chapter: Der Nacht des Sturmes

It was a dark and stormy night. Okay, it wasn't exactly stormy, but the dark and threatening clouds were ominous enough to keep Lemony Snicket inside his shelter for fear of encountering a violent rainstorm, like the kind that generally begin sad and scary tales.

He had taken up residence in an old clock tower on the grounds of a boarding school that the Baudelaires had stayed in just a few weeks before. He knew he was getting closer to finding the three orphans, and after checking the school's files, he hoped he would be able to catch up with them. He only prayed that Olaf wouldn't catch them first.

The Daily Punctilio had reported the Quagmire triplets' kidnapping a week ago, which worried Lemony as he sat at a makeshift desk inside the clock tower. According to Kit, Jacques had also disappeared a while ago.

So Lemony was bored and worried; not a good combination. But as he sat there, a funny feeling began to creep into his body. Soon a tingle went down his spine so violently that by instinct, he had to jump up from his seat. Jacques was the first thing that came to his mind, followed closely by an acute sense of danger. After he looked frantically around, he just sat down again tiredly and stared at his typewriter.

That feeling was familiar to Lemony, since he had felt it before on several occasions. He had felt it the night Beatrice had died, as well as the day hat the Baudelaire and Quagmire parents had met their fates. Although he hadn't known it before, he recognized it now as a premonition; an omen. His brother was dead. He knew he didn't have solid evidence, but it had to be the truth.

Lemony sighed, leaned back in his chair, looked out the filthy window, and realized something that surprised him even more than the premonition itself. Lemony realized now that he didn't feel anything. Perhaps he was just to weary or was just in shock, but he felt no sadness. All the pain that had been following him left him without feelings. He had nothing left to lose now. His only love, his best friends and their wives, and now his brother: what could possibly be worse? There was just too much misery in his past to bother him now, and it was all the fault of some psychopathic murderer that needed to be exposed.

Sighing yet again, Lemony glanced back at his makeshift table and saw all his notes scattered about, and knew what he had to do. He remembered Mr. Handler, the author who had been so anxious to help him before. Would his offer still be valid? If it was, Lemony had a plan. It would be dangerous, but he didn't care about that anymore. In Jacques' letter that Lemony had received along with the news of the deaths of the Baudelaire and Quagmire parents, Jacques had told his brother that "until all the fires have been extinguished, we must go our separate ways and risk our separate lives." He had understood the danger and took the risk nonetheless, and now it was Lemony's turn to do the same.

So as it began to rain outside, Lemony started to shuffle his notes around busily. He only slightly hesitated as the small machine behind him began to whirr and beep as it spat out a message. Lemony didn't bother to look at it; Kit was the only one who ever succeeded in contacting him, and he already knew what she was going to say.

So Lemony Snicket wandered around the empty clock tower for a minute in silence, staring at the rain. A clap of thunder snapped him out of his daze and he shuffled back to his desk and started typing out the first words to a true story of the sad lives of three resourceful orphans whose lives were nearly as tragic as his own. It was a story so sad and hopeless that the first sentence he wrote, I will also use as a warning not to read any of the earlier chapters of this tale.

If you are interested in stories with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book.

And, mingled with the pitter-pattering of the rain outside, the slow, rhythmic sound of a small typewriter could be heard throughout the empty, dimly-lit tower.


Yeah, so there are some people that I want to thank! Thanks to my boyfriend, Jeff, who helped get me started by competing with handwritten pages with him, so I always kept on writing in order to beat him. I'd like to thank Abby, who read through every single rough draft and told me what she thought of the story. Even though she had never read ASOUE, she read through the entire thing duing lunch hours at school. Finally, I'd like to thank all my other friends, receptionists, doctors, ect. who endured my constant writing in the TWO notebooks that it took to write this.

And thanks to all of you, for reading this. You have no idea how much it means to me that y'all liked my first fanfic so much! I'm leaving for Germany on monday, and I'll be bored, so maybe I'll start a new fic for ya! Please, when you review this last chapter, tell me what you think my next fic shall be about, but only as long as it's with ASOUE, naturally.