A Wave of Confusion
Draco surely knew how to kiss. Harry touched his lips with his fingers, wondering at his reaction and Draco's gentleness. He didn't expect the veela to be like that. But then should he really be surprised? Veelas loved their mates, and Harry guessed tenderness went along with it. He just hadn't expected Draco to be sweet. It was so… unlike him.
Harry groaned with the memory of the kiss seeped down from his mind to his groin. He slid his hand down and it didn't take him long to take care of the problem. He grabbed a sock and wiped his hands. Grimacing he threw it underneath his bed.
He'd taken off the edge, but that still didn't solve the racing of his heart whenever he closed his eyes and saw the blond boy in his mind. It was like the kiss had taken the thoughts of Draco to another level. Harry didn't like; he didn't like it one bit. He was the mate, he should be in control, but he had a feeling that the cautions the books had were right. He shouldn't be overconfident.
Another Monday, another day of Snape. Harry stifled a groan as Hermione started quizzing him about the potion they'd be making today. He knew she meant well, but he simply wasn't in the frame of mind to handle this. He was sleep deprived thanks to Draco. Stupid sexy dreams.
Every time he'd closed his eyes, he'd seen the blond boy naked. It had been disconcerting to say the least. The books had never mentioned the constant dreaming after being claimed. It had mentioned desire, so maybe that was a contingency of it. In whatever case, Harry didn't like it.
"Are you paying attention?" Hermione snapped. "Because you know Professor Snape loves to pick on you."
He should have taken Draco up on his offer, Harry thought with a grimace. Today was not a day that he needed to be chewed up. Thank Merlin that tonight he had a session with Daphne and not with the Potions Master. He didn't think his frazzled nerves could stand being flung around the room.
Harry jerked and smiled weakly at her. "I'm listening."
"No, you're not," she said sharply. "You're daydreaming about that secret admirer's of yours."
Harry felt a blush on his cheeks and ducked his face down.
"I take it you know who it is?" Hermione asked dryly, but her voice was softer.
Harry was sure his face was even redder than before.
"And I take it you don't want to tell me?"
He shook his head, knowing that Hermione wouldn't push him—at least not yet. She was stubborn about not being a forceful person that is until her curiosity got the best of her. Harry wondered how long this imposed understanding she didn't need to know would last. Because Hermione always needed to know. At least he was relatively sure she'd handle it better than Ron.
God Ron, Harry shuddered at the thought. Ron would explode.
He deflated, all the curious churning in his stomach making him feel sick instead of strangely giddy. But Hermione would understand, wouldn't she? She'd make Ron see reason. What if she didn't? It was a horrifying thought. What if both of his best friends couldn't understand? What would he do?
"Harry, are you all right?" Hermione asked, concern coloring her voice. "Harry?"
"What?" he croaked.
"Do you need to see Madame Pomfrey?" she asked with narrowed eyes. "You're awfully pale."
He shook his head. "I'm fine."
She sighed. "If you say so."
Snape was the definition of a bastard. It definitely wasn't the best day, not when Harry's nerves were already strung out. He didn't know how he held his temper. He had been so close to exploding. His cauldron ended up doing it for him. Harry caught Draco's curious eyes, though other than that—the veela didn't act any differently to him. But he was mad—crazy.
"POTTER!" Snape roared, swooping down on him the potion had started bubbling. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
His professor knocked him aside and cast a warding spell around the cauldron just as it exploded. Harry ought to have been grateful, he knew, but he was just so pissed at everything. He guessed it was the confusion that was making him angry. There were just so many emotions rolling in him that he didn't know how to handle it. He needed some sort grounding.
"You idiotic boy," Snape hissed into his ear, "what were you thinking, adding snake fang into that volatile transition? You need to stabilize the base before you could continue further. Detention, Potter, for two weeks!"
Harry gritted his teeth and bent his head down. This was exactly what Snape and Daphne wanted, for his nightly sessions to appear to be nothing more than his tendency for foolhardiness in potions, but Merlin it was irritating to be thought of as a dunce. He knew the material; he wouldn't have messed up—if not for Draco and that stupid kiss.
That wonderful kiss.
Harry shook his head almost viciously. Why had he thought that? Was the veela's charms starting to affect him like the books had said? He shuddered. He needed to get closer to Draco and soon, once he was bond to Draco the books had said the mate would wield considerable power over a veela. Until then it was a fairly even 50-50 battle, but Harry really didn't want to bond with Draco. It was too horrifying of a thought. Foe turned to friend?
And what of his true friends? Harry glanced at Hermione wistfully. She turned his way and gave him an encouraging wink before continuing on with her perfectly simmering potion. He just knew she'd be disappointed with him today.
Concentrate! But he couldn't, not when Draco was near. It was like he could feel Draco crawling over his skin and infiltrating his senses. He had to be going mad. But he would admit it fully now. He'd admit it—oh would he.
Draco was madness.
The rest of the afternoon had sped along. Thank Merlin that Potions was the only class he had with the Slytherin. If there had been any more doubles with them, Harry was sure he'd cave. He didn't know what was going on, but ever since that kiss—he couldn't stop thinking about Draco.
He had even avoided lunch.
"You aren't coming to dinner, are you?"
Harry shook his head and rolled over to his side, away from Ron's eyes. His best friend had gotten more perceptive over the past two years and it was unnerving sometimes how well Ron knew him. But even Ron didn't know this dirty secret and he would hide it for as long as he could.
"You really ought to come," Ron said. "You didn't go to lunch."
"I'm not hungry."
"You should still eat."
Harry shrugged. "I'll have something after my session with Daphne."
Ron nodded grudgingly. "All right, I'll tell Hermione you decided to meditate before you go see Daphne. She'll accept that," he remarked. "But don't think I'll cover for you like this all the time! You really ought to eat. What would my mum say?"
Harry had to grin at that. "She'd say you were being a bad friend."
"Bloody right and that's because I'm trying to be an obliging one," Ron muttered.
"I appreciate it."
"You damn well should," he said good-naturedly before walking out the door.
Harry sighed and buried his head underneath the pillow. What was he going to do? He didn't know, but maybe Daphne would have some answers for the strange things that were happening to him. Was it just the natural impulse a mate felt for his veela? Or was it something more?
"Clear your thoughts," Daphne's soft, soothing voice said, "look into the mirror, and tell me what you see."
Harry looked into the mirror, trying not to think of anything, but his thoughts immediately went to Draco. Harry tried to push Draco out of his mind, but it was too late. He saw Draco in the mirror, on the bed, naked and he was doing unspeakable things to himself that made Harry want to squeeze his eyes shut just so it didn't affect him. Already though, it was hopeless. He felt his trousers getting tight and he was glad he was wearing robes or else Daphne would realize what was happening.
"What do you see?" Daphne asked.
Harry cleared his throat, not knowing what to say, but knowing he had to say something. "I see Draco."
"What is he doing then?"
Harry swallowed hard. "He is on the bed."
She was going to force it out of him regardless, he knew, and it was useless to try and stop it. "He's… touching himself." Harry turned bright red and ducked his head down. "You know…"
"I know," she murmured and touched Harry's shoulder gently, drawing him back and away from the mirror. "There is nothing to be embarrassed about. He is your mate and you are his. There is little we can do now that you have this." She touched the mark on his neck. "What he is doing is natural."
Her eyes clouded over and Harry knew she was seeing something that had to do with him and Draco, what else could it be? She was thinking of them and visions that popped up randomly usually had a reason—thought being an impetus. She tilted forward and Harry reached out with both arms to steady her so that she didn't fall, keeping a tight hold on her until her eyes cleared and he knew that she was looking at him instead of through him. "Harry," she said, "he's waiting for you."
Harry just stood there, not knowing what he was supposed to do.
He hesitated, feeling a strange pulsing running through his body, telling him it was urgent. Urgent! He wanted to let go of Daphne and run out of the room, run where, he didn't know, but his body knew exactly what it wanted to do. How had this suddenly come about? This was craziness. Everything that involved Draco seemed to make him feel like he was losing his mind.
This time, he left.
It didn't take him long at all to find Draco. Draco was standing in the moonlight next to the window, just outside the room where Harry had his sessions with Daphne. But Draco didn't look much like himself anymore. Not the cold, composed Slytherin Prince he was supposed to be—he looked like the veelas Harry had seen in the text and it sent a shiver of something Harry couldn't quite define spiraling down his spine.
"I need you," Draco said plaintively. "Come here."
Harry stepped forward, not of his own volition, but as if his body had no choice. He only stopped when he was so close to Draco that it was impossible to be any closer than he was. Harry looked down where he could see an obvious bulge in Draco's trousers and that was when Draco grabbed him by the chin and lifted his head. Harry didn't have a chance to process anything before he was being kissed like it was a matter of survival.
His body was on fire and he was glad his arms knew to cling to Draco because if he hadn't grabbed hold of the slightly taller boy, then he had a feeling he'd be a puddle on the ground unable to do anything except sit there. Oh Merlin, what was Draco doing with his tongue because it felt so good whenever it brushed up against his own. And Draco certainly knew where to move his arms and knew just how to press Harry against his body so that they felt like they were literally one.
He couldn't breath and he didn't care if he needed air, not when he felt like he was floating on another plane and he hadn't even had to have his stomach flip upside down like it did whenever he projected his astral self to that plane. Harry let himself go and just enjoyed the sensations coursing through his body, trusting Draco, something he never would have thought possible a week ago, even a day ago.
Just when he thought he might die here and be happy, Draco pulled back, breathing hard and pressed their foreheads together and said, "Do you understand now? We need each other to survive."
Harry just nodded, not knowing what else to do, not even thinking he could get his mouth to work.
"Do you consent to be mine?"
What other answer could Harry give but… "Yes."
"Good," Draco said and he pressed his lips against Harry's cheek gently. "You'd better go back to your dorm and get some rest." Draco's fingers lingered on Harry's skin, gentle yet scorching. "You look worn out."
Draco left him there, standing, panting, needing him and Harry just wanted to scream.
The walk back to his dorm took a lifetime. At least it seemed like that to Harry before he finally made it to the safety of his bed, where he could put up a silencing charm, and do exactly what he saw Draco do in his bed. Had that vision been of the past, present, or future? If it was the future then was Draco doing exactly what he was now doing? That thought almost sent Harry over the edge and he wanted it to last a little while, didn't want to lose control so quickly, but it was hard, when he had seen the sight Draco made when he was doing that.
It didn't take Harry long to cry out Draco's name, slump back into his pillow, still shuddering. Harry wiped his hand off on his shirt, too tired to even think about getting out and getting something else to take care of the consequence of his problem. Harry buried his head into his pillow and just tried to block out the image still embedded in his mind of what had triggered his rush: Draco on the bed, his glistening skin, his mouth open, seeming to call out Harry's name.
Harry squeezed his eyes shut. His body was still throbbing, still yearning, but that was stupid. He should be satisfied already. He should be ready to go to sleep and try to practicing dream-seeing like Daphne wanted. But all he could think about was Draco, Draco, Draco… Harry took a deep breath to try and calm himself down, so that he could think straight. Remember, he told himself, he had to use this veela thing in his favor. Maybe he could turn Draco. Harry shook his head hard. It wasn't about maybe anymore. He had to turn Draco to the Light side… or else, what happened was what Harry would rather not think about.
Draco had to be good because Harry couldn't think about being bad.
The next morning when Harry woke up, he felt like he was no longer missing a piece of himself. He no longer felt like he needed Draco so badly that if he didn't have him, he wouldn't be whole. It was nice to feel like himself again. He didn't particularly like being under the heavy veela influence, not when he knew he needed to be able to think coherently. Too much depended on himself and he couldn't allow Draco to get the upper hand, not when the outcome was so dear. So he had to figure out a way to keep his head clear, his thoughts on the best way to get Draco to do what he wanted rather than for Draco to do what he wanted.
Clearly the veela influenced his mate just as much as Harry did to Draco. He could honestly say he felt that Draco had the same desire coursing through his body and that DRaco certainly yearned for him, but that need Harry didn't think was any different from the desire Harry felt for him. Harry had been certain, in the beginning after he had read the many books on veelas, that he would have control in his relationship. But now he wasn't so certain anymore.
Still Harry was resolved, no matter how hard it was, he wouldn't give in.
"Are you all right?" Hermione immediately asked him when he sat down at the Gryffindor table for breakfast. "You don't look like you got much rest last night."
Harry had been too restless to really sleep, but he knew he felt a lot better than he had yesterday, even if he was exhausted. "Nightmares." It was the easiest way to explain why he looked so tired. He didn't want Hermione to question him much further, not when he didn't want to tell her what was really going on. He still had to think about the best way to explain to his best friends about… Draco. "That's all."
"Are they of… You-Know-Who?" she asked softly, trying not to draw any attention to them. Harry nodded because it was easier just to agree and bent his head down to eat his porridge. "Maybe you should go to Daphne," Hermione said. "If they're this bad and all…"
"We talked yesterday already," Harry mumbled, knowing that he was deliberately being vague and hoping that Hermione would be too distracted to make an issue of it. Harry knew he was a bad liar, so instead of saying something untrue, he had simply learn to omit the parts that would make his words false. "And…" his voice trailed off as he suddenly tensed up when he felt Draco enter the Great Hall. It was like his nerves were on fire, like his senses were only tuned into Draco's presence.
"Harry?" Hermione asked and Harry had to try very hard not to turn and stare at Draco. "What did she say?"
"Nothing much," he whispered tightly. "Nothing much."
Breath, he told himself, and relax. Already, Harry knew it was going to be a long day as it was, but at least it was Tuesday and he didn't have to see Draco in any of his classes. Thank Merlin for that small blessing.
A/N: So sorry that it took this long to update this fic, but I really have been busy and I am busy this summer again but I'll try not to take this long to update it. If you really like the story, please review because that does tend to get me to write something. Makes me feel guilty when so many people are reviewing and encouraging me and I'm not writing!