Disclaimer: Final Fantasy X-2 belongs to…(sob)…SQUARE ENIX only! Well anyway, I only own the sly and mischievous Selina, and her…'smart' friends.
Believe it or Not- Chapter 7: Starting the P.lan and Calling a Revolting #
"It smells disgustingly horribly," Selina said, sniffing her friend's pale wrist.
Jessica forehead creased as she lifted her wrist to smell it. Looking confused for a moment, she finally replied whining, "But look how pretty the name sounds, Sparkling Waterberries, they are said to be very delicious."
Selina just threw her a look of complete agitated ness, rolling her dark mascara eyes. "What in the world are Waterberries!" she asked. First things first, they were supposed to be buying a crappy brand of perfume, which was true in this case, and second of all, they were NO such thing as 'waterberries'. If Jessica was just one I.Q stupider, she would end up in the mental retardation hospital. Luckily, she had Selina around to guide her down the 'smart' path.
"I'm sticking to Chanel No.5," Selina said haughtily. "And you can give that disgusting flask of fragrance to our dear Rikku, once we have her were we want her." Her evil red eyes flashed destructively.
Jessica bit her blood red lips and put down the fragrance. Dammit. She always had to listen to Selina. Hey! Maybe she could just buy one for Rikku, then one for herself! Seriously, the perfume actually smelled quite nice. Like…like…excrement. Or at least that's what she thought the word was anyway.
"Hey, you over there," the girl called out of nowhere. She was a ungainly girl, wearing very expensive preppy clothes.
"Excuse me?" Selina's eyes were burning with anger. She had never been addressed as you over there in her life, and she certainly wasn't going to let this one go. Anyway, this girl must've had some bad perm done to her hair, because there was too much volume to it, it was frizzy and puffy, and of course she looked like a bad-hair-day Diana Ross.
"Whatever," the girl said, giving her hair a noticeable toss, messing up her horrendous hair even more. Holding up two racks of clothing, one a pair of neon orange mini shorts, and another a pair of neon yellow mini skirt. "Which one do you think, like, looks best on me?"
"Do I know you?" Selina replied in her bitchiest voice. "Anyway, you would look like a dinosaur in either of them."
The girl rolled her eyes. "What…EVER. Just tell me which, like, looks better so I can have a great looking b-u-t-t for my boyfriend." She squealed with delight.
"What's a bute?" Jessica wondered.
Selina flashed the preppy girl her fakest smile. "I don't think it matters, your ugly zit-covered face stands out so much, how can your boyfriend notice anything else?"
The preppy girl stared at her for a moment and continued. "WHATEVER! I was only asking you a question." She stuck out her chin, "I bet you don't even, like, have a boyfriend. And anyway, MY boyfriend even gave me like, a gorgeous diamond ring."
She held her hand out like some wannabe model, showing a barely noticeable diamond ring on her finger. "It's one seventh of a quart, and the clarity is quite good." She continued, showing off.
Selina smirked and laughed at it. "Uh, where's the diamond?" she bent farther to take a glance at it. Scrunching her eyes together, she snapped at Jessica.
Jessica sighed as she took a magnifying glass out of her Gucci purse bag, handing it over to Selina, as Selina grabbed it out of her hands. Talk about bossy.
"You're right," Selina tossed her shiny black hair. "It's beautiful. If only it wasn't so small, sucker. You call that a ring?" Then she took out her hands and flashed all of her beautiful jewelry at the struck-eyed girl. Which the sunlight was out that time, and almost blinded the girl with the 'one seventh of a quart' ring.
The girl flushed. "Well…well…" she stuttered.
Sure. Like anyone could ever compete against HER without getting dissed? Psh, that's no one. Except…her eyes darkened. That dumb Rikku girl who stole Gippal away from her. She'll have a lot coming for her in the future, just she wait and see. Cackling to herself she paid for the nasty perfume and walked out off Shoppers Drug Mart. And that meant…she shuddered slightly as she dropped the bagged flask of perfume in her expensive Diesel bag, getting stuff from Shoppers. Hahaha!
"Whatever!" Selina snapped, throwing the prep girl's favorite word back in her face. "Let's go," she said to Jessica. When they walked passed the girl, Selina discretely stomped on the girl's new Puma's.
Take that, looser!
"Get in touch with your inner erotica," read Yuna, flipping chalantly through the yellow pages and holding it up to Rikku. "Hey, why don't you try this one?"
Rikku glanced at the number. "Okay." She replied, hiding her full glee inside. It had been quite awhile since she did this, but with her friend from before, not just this crappy school she was made to come to.
"I'll be on the other end, listening," Yuna told her, picking up Gippal's other phone, at the opposite room. She smiled sheepishly, "I can't believe we're actually doing this."
Rikku walked over to Gippal's huge Fiorte mirror. Her usually act should be to not care about how she looked but seriously, how long can a girl stand this sort of thing? And anyway, if she didn't be herself for at least a little while, she would've become…become…she couldn't even stand to think about it. She would've become what she was supposed to act like! Now that would be pure monstrosity.
Her hair was unusually messy and laid like an octopus on top of her head. She touched her cheeks, which felt very sticky and looked extremely pale. Underneath her dark-lashed green eyes, there was a shade of black, as if she smeared mascara all over. And her lips…they were so red that they looked like they might drip blood.
Rikku gave the mirror a cheesy smile. "You look busted," she said, and kissed her reflection. She combed her hair neatly and quickly, then splattered some water on her face. Ah. Now she looked at least a little more beautiful then for revolting appearance just a moment ago.
"Rikku," Yuna whispered, on the other side of the room. "Someone's on."
"Hello?" Rikku said, quickly, putting the phone back next to her 3-hole pierced ear.
A very breathy and raspy voice replied, "How are you… darling?" It sounded like a bad Marilyn Monroe imitation.
"Great," Rikku said, cheerfully. This sounded like fun---having a conversation with Ms. Raspy Voice.
"Which credit card will you be paying with?" the raspy voice continued.
"Huh?" Uh-oh. She didn't have hers with her right now.
"American Express Platinum!" Yuna whispered to Rikku, throwing her a very shiny card. She grinned. My Dad's.
Rikku caught it and read the number.
"Thank you" said Ms. Raspy Voice. Suddenly her voice didn't sound raspy anymore. "Are you over 21?" she asked.
"Yes," Rikku lied in her deepest, most mature voice.
"Alright, let me transfer you to one of our male members," there was a click and the line started beeping again.
Rikku glanced at Yuna, who was choking down a smile and flashed her thumbs up.
The beeping stopped and a deep, masculine voice appeared. "Welcome to Pleasure Line for Women, who am I speaking to?
"Rik---" Rikku stopped because Yuna was whispering very loudly, FAKE NAME! FAKE NAME! USE A FAKE NAME! "Rik …omo---Rikomo…." Rikku glanced at the bed, "Bedsheets---"
Yuna grimaced. Oh-no.
But the guy must have misheard her. "Sakomo Bellsheé? Lovely…"
Rikku laughed in relief, "Thanks…"
"So what would you like to do?"
Rikku scratched her messy-ish blond head. "Well---" She was about to say something completely appalling when she realized she had to pretend she didn't know anything about this.
"Well, sweetheart, I'm jerking off just thinking about you…"
Rikku rose her eyebrow. "Excuse me for a sec."
Yuna stuffed her fist in her mouth to keep from laughing.
Rikku crawled over the bed and whispered, "What's jerking off?"
"It's----" Yuna's laughter hadn't disappeared. "It's---ha----when guys---" she half replied, rolling onto ground laughing like crazy.
"Oh I see," Rikku said sort of getting it, putting the phone back to her ear. "I'm very glad I'm making you do that."
"Yeah?" the voice was getting lower, and sounded very horny. Then he said something shockingly nasty, and then she burst into laughter alongside with Yuna.
After 10 more minutes of sickening gruesome things, Rikku glanced over at Yuna, who didn't even bother covering her laughter anymore.
The two girls were positively howling.
It wasn't that funny. But then again, tell me you've never laughed over something stupid.
"Are you there, my love?" the guy asked.
"Um—yeah," Rikku said. "Sorry about laughing. It's just…"
"No problem," the voice said. "Laughing is good." Then he continued on his repulsive details.
That got Yuna and Rikku started again. Double eww!
There was a sound of a knob turning and the two immediately stopped laughing and whipped their heads to see who it was.
Gippal came through the door, looking pretty moody. "What's so funny?"
Before Yuna could stop her, Rikku said cheerfully, "We're pretending to call the hooker line! Want to listen in?"
She hopped from the bed and handed him the cordless phone. Yuna let out a small "no!" but sadly it was way too late.
Gippal gaped at Rikku as he took the phone and put it next to his ear, listening intently to what the other person on the line had to say.
Gippal looked genuinely shocked.
This wasn't the reaction Yuna, nor Rikku had expected. She thought that Gippal was just going to be completely disgusted and hang up. He was a guy, after all. He wouldn't be interested in another guy's genitals.
But Gippal kept on listening.
"Um…" Yuna said, a bit uncomfortably. Is Gippal gay?
Rikku peered at him curiously. Why isn't he laughing?
He didn't even seem revolted. He seemed…surprised.
After a few more moments of listening, Gippal finally spoke up.
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A/N: Heya! I'm SOO sorry I took soo long to update! And school is finally over for me, it ended two days ago, and my exams were surprisingly easy! >:D Anywho, thanks ALL for your awesome reviews!
Haha and yes, I was told I was poisoning some of my reviewers mind but…PLZ don't be infected by this nasty bit >.> I just thought that it was quite funny and was sadly, influenced to write this when some of they boys in my class decided to call it for fun (utterly inappropriate and nasty), and so they each got whomped by me and hopefully they don't call it again! Hahaha but still, review please and don't flame meh! Since it's summer I can update more often!
Well cyaa! Luff,