Darth Warious: Glad you love it... but.... sorry, I can't stop dissing Palpy. You'll have to get used to it. For now, anyhow... the plot will advance...

Smenzer: Yes, Palpy will have problems when the people from my webpage show up... (cackles) And that's a great suggestion there... must try that in the next few chapters... oh, and the mystery behind all the where Palpy is, and all that will be cleared up sooner or later...

Jandalf the Orange: Erg. THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND COKE, MY DEAR MASTER!!!!! SO THERE! In fact, I happen to like Sprite, actually... the only reason I used Pepsi was A) Because it was the first brand name I thought of, and B) It's a plot devince concerning your character. I know you don't like Pepsi... heh. Good pace, yesss... THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING ME!! (bounces) You'll see what part you'll play... cackle... althought we both know it's impossible to escape that Tiana's your Padawan. Started as a joke, and now it's... inevitable. Oh, oh, one more thing-- can I borrow Jethine? For a short scene?

Maeggaladiel: YAY! MAEG REVIEWED ME! (cheerful) I'm so happy!!!! Sorry about the Elven Jedi Mide Powers quip, but... yeah. Shadow doesn't think you have powers... yet. (tempts fate, as usual) You ARE in my fanfic, yessssss... (laughs) You're the first character in, actually, now! Here's chapter 3!

And guess what? TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY! I'M 15 TODAY! Erm... enough with that, and on to the story!

Chapter Three:

You know, I'm writing this much after the incidence actually happened. You know, a little bit earlier I wrote a wish that it would've been Luke in my closet. Eating your words is fun-- they taste really good with salt and a bit of garlic, actually. I suppose I'm getting ahead of myself, but at the time, I wasn't too pleased to have the Emperor in my closet.

You can't blame me, really-- though powerful he may be, I didn't want a dried up freak of nature in my closet. Or, in what had been my closet. It was now charred wood sitting on my bedroom floor at the moment. At that time, I really wished I knew what Tiana was up to, but, as she typically is, she was being distant.

Palpatine was at present screaming about the lack of green tea in our kitchen. Hey, I like coffee, why on Earth would I keep green tea?! Imported green tea from the third moon of Tatooine, at that! I swear, Tiana was hiding a smile at every given moment as I attempted to convince him that coffee was not poison.

I failed at that task, by the way. Seems our Emperor has a dislike to caffeine.

If nothing else, that meant he refused Pepsi too. Oddly, he was willing to accept Coke, though.

You ever seen a dehydrated Emperor attempt to drink Coke? I have. It was... interesting.

Went something like this:

Tiana: "Here, try this Emperor Palpatine."

Palatine was very wary. "What is it? You trying to poison me, Jedi fool?"

I heard her mutter something about only being a Padawan, and then she handed him a can of Coke. "Just take it. I'm a Jedi, remember? I don't kill people, even if they are as akin to raisins as you are."

I don't think he caught that as an insult, oddly, but he took the Coke. He had refused Pepsi Blue on the grounds that the last can of it he had seen exploded in his face. Then he started choking, turned remotely green and blue, and his eyes started fizzing.

Great. He's allergic to carbon dioxide too.

I walked over, and slapped him, hard. "You swallow it, fool!" I hissed at him, running to wash my hands. Did I just touch that thing?! I'M CONTAMINATED NOW! AGH!

Palpatine was too in shock to react violently. I don't think he's used to being slapped. Well, if he's in my home, he'd better be getting used to insanity. And really fast as well-- knowing my family.

Well, my family, and the people that Tiana had called up.

For once, I think I was actually eager for them to arrive. Knowing the people behind them well enough, I don't know if that was a good idea or not.

Tiana wore that distant smirk on her face, as if she knew what was going to happen. Sometimes I wonder if she didn't know what was going to happen-- or maybe the smirk was merely just implication of her present plans. But she hadn't shared those with me.

Okay, now what's going to happen? "Palpatine, you want some water?"

"You will address me as 'Emperor', fool, or Master."

"You, Emperor Palpatine, are not my Master." I glared at that wizened old dude so harshly, I was nearly as scary looking as he was for a moment. Minus the fact that I don't look remotely like a raisin. "There is no such thing as the Force, and you are merely some demented Star Wars fan who decided to zap my closet as a joke. And, even if there was such thing as the Force, I wouldn't want to be apprenticed to a mummified old crone such as yourself. Even Jandalf would be a better choice."

I expected him to react to that rather harshly, but he didn't. Almost a scrap of normality crossed his eyes for a moment, and he cackled. "Soooo... you never told Shadow, did you?" He was talking to Tiana then.

"Of course not," she snapped. "Maybe I got tired of paradoxes. Maybe I don't want to face the happenings of... that... time... all over again." She stood up and threw a towel at him. "It would do you well to forget that Shadow even existed," she hissed, sounding almost as evil as Palpatine there.

"Who are you, Jedi fool, to tell me what to do?"

"I'm Tiana Elass," she answered, dryly. "Who are you to attempt to return this paradox? The mirror nearly cracked last time, are you trying to destroy it? I would not be here unless there was danger of my living in the other mirrored world. Who are you, Palpatine?"

"You think too highly of yourself."

"Do I?"

I hate to think of what would've happened, had at that moment the doorbell not rang. I was pleased to have an excuse to get out of that room and let Tiana and Palpy duel it out. As long as they didn't touch my computer, that was.

Well, maybe answering the door wasn't a better choice. I still dislike talking to some of those Middle-earthians, and opening the door to an elf isn't always fun. Thus I did not open the door.

Tiana heard the door, and wandered over, losing the strange light in her eyes, and grinning. "It's showtime!" she said, opening the door. I didn't know if she meant literally or not, of course-- you can never tell with Tiana. Or Cloud. Or... well... anyone in this area. Or not.

Can someone please give me a logical explanation of how a girl can get up from the Southern States in less than 15 minutes?! I keep on top of some things, and I know where most of her insane friends are from-- Maeggaladiel was from the States. Somewhere, anyhow. (location not disclosed for the sake of Maeg. No locations beyond country will be given, and mayhaps a made up town name)

At least, I thought it was Maeggaladiel. Maeg for short. Or tall. She's as tall as an elf, looks like an elf, acts like an elf, and wears glasses. Come on, how many nearsighted elves are out there, anyhow?! I swear she thinks she's an elf. She stared at me through her glasses. "Hi, Shadow," she said cheerfully, taking off her glasses to clean them. "You are Shadow, right?"

"My name isn't Shadow," I muttered, but was cut off when she crashed into me. She can't see without her glasses on. I still had a bad feeling about this, for some strange reason.

She stared at Tiana-- I was pretty sure by the looks on both of their faces that there was something they weren't telling me there. Or maybe not. It looked like they were having a conversation in their heads. If nothing else, they were doing a good job of acting it out. Maybe Tiana really is a Force-sensitive, and maybe Maeg really does have Elven Jedi Mind Powers. I really need to spot tempting fate.

Maybe talking to Palpatine will be easier than trying to understand these Middle-earthians.

I walked back into the kitchen, and pulled out a Sprite. "So, Palpatine," I asked, cautiously, "what is all this 'Shadow' business about, anyhow...?"