Hey gang! I decided to throw out the last part of this story today and not wait until Monday so I acn start fresh on the next story then. :) Pitchforks, flamethrowers, RPGs, and yes, even the JAVELIN missed me. :) Prob cos I am not at home! MUAHAHAHAAAA!!
Okay, enjoy! Thanks fore the reviews, I've had fun, laughed, cried. . well, not cried, but laughed totally, spit water out of my mouth, etc. And no, you can't bribe me!!!
Jackie - Totaly hyper and stupid at the moment! Yay!
Special thanks to: SarahRabb705, Froggy0319, Nikki, harmsgirl-03, cool cat, Harmfan, Jackia, sailorgirl, starryeyes, XBlueShadowX, Anaika Skywalker, FoxyWombat, soontobeffwriter, maidenpride, BrokenSkye, Claire Vincent, Charmboy, Lyssa Grace, zeilfanaat, Fic-Chic, cbw, skates, Kat, NavyBabe, Heiros, Jenny R, xobabygurlxo, cool cat, Kristie, eridani, joanoa, hdrexel, carbygirl05, Arian04 and anyone else I missed, for the feedback! :)
PART 13 – Adrift and Alone
One Week Later
North of Union Station
"It's good to be home." Harm said with a sigh of relief as he entered his apartment. Because of some minor damage to his knee, he was using a cane to walk around. It wasn't something he was proud of but, he had to admit, it helped. "I thought Renee would bring me home."
Mac pretended to not be disturbed by that comment and helped him walk up the steps to his room. "She said she'd be by later." Grabbing one of the other pillows on the bed, Mac folded it in half and placed it under Harm's leg in order to keep his knee elevated. "Harm. . . We need to talk." Yesterday, when she arrived at Bethesda with Mic in tow, she was surprised to find Harm and Renee kissing so passionately. The blond had held his hand tightly as she presented the 'good' news, they were engaged too. Even now, the mental image nauseated her. In fact, what in the hell possessed her to tell Harm that Renee was good for him?
For reasons unbeknownst to her, Mac felt crushed. Completely, totally, obliterated. . . crushed. Was that how Harm felt when he'd seen her wearing another man's ring in Sydney? Deep inside, she felt he was punishing her for being with Mic. But, that couldn't be so, friends, good friends wouldn't do that to one another. And he was her best friend, wasn't he?
"Mac. . . don't, okay?" A conversation with Mac was something he certainly wasn't looking forward to. As he started remembering things, mainly the past year with Renee which seemed to be a blur, he was surprised that he'd accepted her proposal so easily. Maybe that meant something? Maybe he had fallen for Renee and just didn't know it as he was too busy trying to pry into Mac's life. "This is about Renee and I am not in the mood."
But, she ignored his request and pounded away. "Why did you agree to marry her?"
Shrugging, he decided to use Renee's same motivational speech. "Time to stop taking things for granted." Harm did a lot of thinking when he was at Bethesda. He loved Mac more than he had ever loved any other woman, but that didn't mean that they were supposed to be together. He was sure she didn't feel the same thing for him, had she, Mic's ring would have been tossed instead of worn. Besides, Renee was fun enough, tough enough to be his wife. At least, he was making himself believe that. He wasn't getting any younger, his mother had told him so, even his Grams. It was time to make a commitment. Before she had a chance to interrupt, Harm held his hand up to silence her. "Go to Mic. . .get married, be happy."
"What?" He was dismissing her? Not when she had so much she needed to tell him. She was sure that he never heard her, that he didn't remember the nurse on the Seahawk telling him that the woman he was rescued with loved him very much.
"I care for you, Sarah. . . I want you to be happy. . . But, I need to be happy too."
"Maybe it isn't him that makes me happy. . . you can't tell me Renee makes you happy."
"Didn't you tell me at the engagement party to hold on to Renee? I am doing just that." Harm was surprised to be using her own words against her, a blow that obviously left a mark as he saw her cringe. "Or were you trying to get rid of me?" Mac was engaged, wearing the ring of a man that was willing to give up so much more than Harm ever could. Did it mean that Harm didn't love Mac? No, it meant that he loved her enough to let her go. And he would follow her example and LEARN to love Renee the way a husband should love a wife. "Things between us would have never worked out." The more he talked to Renee, the more he believed that.
Mac just sat there with her mouth slightly open. "I don't understand, I thought. . ." Whatever she had to tell him, she definitely didn't see this coming. No one would live through an experience like they had and not leave changed. It was her love for him that brought him back from the dead, didn't that count for something? "Don't you love me?"
"As a friend. . . nothing more." Harm didn't want to hurt her, in fact, he kept his eyes down and away from her own. 'She loves you as a friend. . .but, she is marrying Mic, they've been engaged for over a year now.' The words from Renee danced in his head like a broken record player.
Mac stifled the tears she was about to shed. She wouldn't let him see her cry. "Okay. . ." There was nothing more to say, any expectations that the past few days had given her went down the drain. That was that. He had made a decision for her. She would marry Mic, he would marry Renee. Mac would try and have her happily ever after, even though her heart was with someone else. "I guess I'd better get going. . . call me if you need something." She walked out of his bedroom, stopping with her hand on the doorknob, she looked back at Harm and let the tear she was hiding finally fall. "Bye." She said in a soft voice as she headed out.
Harm cursed himself for hurting her, but he knew no other way. She was engaged to someone else, coming between that would be wrong. Besides, a woman like her didn't deserve to be with an emotionally closed idiot like him. But, he hurt so much, deep in his heart and even in his soul. "Damnit." He cursed softly, trying to figure out what the should do. A voice inside screamed for him to go after her. The other, told him to let her go.
The thought of driving around DC came to her mind as she left Harm's apartment, but in the end, she decided to just go home. He didn't want her and that was fine, there was another man that did. A man that she was supposed to marry. But the moment she stepped into her apartment, she found that man packing. "Uh, going somewhere?"
"You were with him, again." Mic accused and nearly slammed right into Mac as he passed by with a box full of his things. He placed the box on the kitchen table, grabbed a tape and sealed the box.
"I took him home."
"And? And what?" Mac said with a sigh as she moved over to him and touched his arm, hoping that he would turn to look at her.
When he did, his eyes were full of rage and jealousy, it wasn't like anything she'd seen in him before. "Did you sleep with him Sarah?"
"Mic I don't like you this way."
He didn't get the answer that he was after, a simple 'no' would have found him thinking things out more rationally, but he read through her response. Why didn't she understand that she and Rabb HAD to be through for good. He'd hoped that she understood that, but apparently, she didn't. "We're through Sarah."
Whatever else Mac was going to say, completely disappeared, she looked at him, eyes widening over a response she didn't think she'd ever hear from him. "What?!"
Shrugging, Mic moved close to her, standing toe to toe. "I knew it would eventually come down to him or me and it has. . . so chose now."
Mac's mouth opened and closed. What was she supposed to say? Her best friend had damn near died along with her. She needed the time to process things to kick things back into normal, not this. She didn't need this to add to her already troublesome day. Looking up at Mic, she blanked completely on an answer, if she had to chose, God knows it would be Harm, but that wasn't a possibility. He didn't want her, he was engaged to someone else.
Taking her silence as an answer, he backed away unceremoniously. "That's what I thought." Grabbing another box, he tossed in a few of the things he had stacked up on a table, then reached for the tape, which Mac took away.
"Mic, let's talk about this."
Grabbing another roll of tape, he moved around her and proceeded on sealing another box. "Nothing to talk about."
"We're a couple and as a couple you talk about things. . ." He tried moving around her again, but this time, her voice stopped him. "STOP walking away from me!"
Mic grabbed Mac by the wrists and held her body close to his. He sniffed her neck, growled then pushed her against the dinner table. "I SMELL him on you."
"Nothing happened!" She yelled back, watching the normally cool and collected Aussie turn into something else. Suddenly she was 15 again, curled in a corner scared to death that her father would hurt her.
"Mac?" Harm walked into her apartment. The door had been open and hearing the argument within, he decided to let himself in. "What's going on here?" He looked the two of him and if he didn't know any better, he was sure Mic was about to hit Mac.
Mic swiftly turned away from Mac and stared at Harm as if he were a vile creature that had let himself into their home. "Rabb."
"What's going on here, Mic?" Using his cane, Harm hobbled closer to the two of them.
"You son of a bitch." Moving quickly across the apartment, Mic walked up to Harm and punched him straight in the face, sending Harm's still weak body careening against the coffee table. "There's no admiral to stop the fight now, mate. . . get up." He made for a fighters stance, ready to pounce one more time, when he saw Mac run around him and to Harm's aid.
"Mic no!" Mac shoved passed the Aussie, kneeling down next to Harm who was holding his bad knee and groaning.
Looking at the two of them, Mic just shook his head in disgust. "It's him you want Sarah. . . Not me. . ."
"That isn't true." Mac tried to defend. She loved Mic in some way and things weren't supposed to end like this. They weren't supposed to end period. They were supposed to have a family together. Damnit, what happened to everything they talked about? All his promises ?
"It is true!" He yells, taking a step towards them then backing off suddenly. "All this week I keep asking you about rescheduling, all this week you've been at HIS beck and call. . ."
"He was hurt. . ."
Mic just snorted at the lame defense and walked back to the table. "Be honest, Sarah. . . You aren't marrying me because you love me so much you can't live without me. . . You just are too damned afraid to be alone and that is just not a good enough reason." Taking the boxes, he passed by the two of them, taking one last look at Mac before leaving.
Harm sat there in silence. He shouldn't have gone to her place, he should have stayed home and stayed out of it. But, he couldn't. The voices inside his head were driving him crazy. One voice was louder than the other, so he followed the loudest one which screamed for him to go after her. Harm needed to tell her that he loved her and end the charade with Mic. Now that it had happened, he didn't know what to think anymore. Turning to Mac, he found her in tears. "Mac?"
"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be at home with your precious fiancé?!" Moving away from him, Mac stood and walked towards the window in time to see Mic packing boxes into his car. "I can't let him leave." She walked back over to Harm, and helped him up, sitting him down on her sofa before she began pacing.
"Go to him, Mac. . . talk to him, work it out." Harm swallowed down his pride, his ego that went away with each word he told her. What happened to the man that minutes ago was trying to play her hero?
"I can't leave you here like this." She said sadly, looking at his still broken shell. There was a patch on his forehead and some bruising.
"I came on my own, I can go on my own." Harm said, grunting as he stood and began heading towards the door. "Go to him."
Mac sighed, grabbed her keys and Harm's arm. "I'm taking you home."
It didn't take too long to arrive at his apartment and get Harm settled once again. While she was busy making some tea for him, the phone rang. It was Mic, not surprised to find her still with Harm. On the way out of Washington, he had time to think about her, about how much he loved Mac. He couldn't throw all of that away, but when he arrived at her apartment, she was gone. "Bye beautiful." He said before hanging up the phone.
"He can't get passed this thing between us." Standing, Mac grabbed her keys.
"Maybe it's because we can't either." Sadly, he watched her leave again. As a passing thought, Harm closed his eyes and recalled what it was like to be tossed about with the waves. He was a newly engaged man, and Renee was a very attractive and successful woman. He should be happy, not thinking about someone other than his fiancé. With a defeated frown, he turned off the nightlight and slid deeper into his bed, waiting for his wife-to-be. His body still felt like if it were tossed by the ocean but this time, adrift and alone.
TBC. . . .
And now, some quotes and pieces from story 2 - "Stolen"
SMALL FYI - Chapter 1 of Stolen is named "End Of Engagement Hell" ;)
"We can't do this now." Harm heard himself tell Mac as she stood in his doorway with an expectant look.
What would a bottle of vodka cost her these days? Back then, she never paid for her liquor and usually just stole whatever her father would bring home. $20, $30, $50? Hell, with her state of mind, she would easily drop $100 for a bottle.
"Love me." Mac said in a choked voice. Her eyes looked up to his and held his gaze captive. "I just want you to love me."
"I missed you." He confessed, coolly leaning against the bunk. "I just wanted to make sure you are okay."
The smoke was burning her eyes, making them tear up and that much harder to see. Outside there was another explosion and then another much too close for her comfort. Before Mac knew it, the roof came down on her.
"You know what Mac? You are going to do whatever you want to do anyway no matter what I say. . . so just go and have fun with JOHN."
Mac stared at him with an expression of disgust. "What did you tell Renee about me? About us?!"
Froggy: Don't worry. . . Renee sucks ;)
joanoa - We'll just slap Harm a few times, they'll come to their senses.
Nikki - Sunday night around midnight EST will be the sequel :D
Foxy - It hit my clone, so no worries!! ;)
Zeil - Don't worry!! I am evil but I am not the Devil encarnate!! Jeesh! ;)
Hdrexel - Tell me about it! I was cringing the whole time LOL!!!
XBlue - Maybe they just don't like e? Calix: Shhh!! I am evil! You are the margarine of evil, the diet coke of evil, just 1 not evil enough! Okay, watching too much Austin Powers. ;)
Jackia - He didn't nessesary forget her, he's just. . . well on crack :/
NavyBabe - Yep! Gotta say that Skates thing in sickbay was ummm slightly disturbing in Adrift2 (shrugs)
carby - I Am going!! I promise! :D