Watch Over Her
I do not own Gundam Wing.
No, not another battle. But not even the gundam pilots could stop the war. All they could do was fight and win whatever battle they could. Quatre felt like he couldn't fight anymore. Although he loved his gundam Sandrock and it made him feel like he could do anything in the world, Quatre didn't want to use it anymore. He just wanted to do what his father wanted him to do.
"Trowa, if something happens to me," he said to Trowa as they walked to their gundams. He took his helmet and paused before putting it on, "I want you to promise me something."
"You shouldn't talk like that, Quatre," Trowa mumbled, folding his arms. "We'll come out of this battle just fine. It isn't the first battle we fought and…"
"I doubt that it's the last!" Quatre blurted, cutting Trowa's sentence short. He sighed when he saw Trowa's surprised expression. "I'm sorry, Trowa. I just feel like I shouldn't be fighting anymore. I'm just too tired and I know Sandrock is too. I can't fight with the same strength I fought with during the previous battles. I'm just sick and tired of the whole thing. I just want to forget this ever happened."
"Yes, I understand," Trowa agreed, "Alright, well, what do you want me to do?"
"Watch over Dorothy for me." Quatre said. "Make sure nothing happens to her."
"You want me to what?!" Trowa demanded, "Quatre, you know that I—,"
"Yes, I know she might not be your favorite person in the world."
"That's not what I was going to say," Trowa said with a small smile, "what I meant to say that I could never take your place. You two are supposed to be married next week. You saying I should marry her if, if, God, if you died?"
"No," he shook his head, "She's an emotional person and I just want to make sure she'll be okay. Promise me, okay, Trowa?"
"Okay," he nodded, "I'll do it. But there's something I want you to do for me. Give this fight everything you've got."
"Let's go!" Duo cried, slapping their backs, "this should only take us five minutes!"
Quatre groaned, trying to figure out why the hell Duo would be exicted to go to battle. It wasn't a game, even if he thought he was the God of Death. The gundam pilots walked in a single line up to their gundams holding their helmets. Their names were on each of their helmets and on the left side of their uniforms. They also had nick-names on the back of their different and unique. Heero's uniform was blue and white and his nick-named used on the upper back part of his uniform was "Perfect Soldier." Duo's was black and red with "Shinigami" on the back. Trowa's uniform orange and white with "Silencer" written on the back of the uniform. Quatre's, gray and white "Desert Noble" on the back. And Wufei's, red and white with "Solitary Dragon." (Yes, these are names you'd probably see on web sites, but hey, might as let them live up to their names!)
The battle was in outer space with the space colonies again. So many did want peace but some still felt that the road to peace was war. It was a fact of life, as long as there would be people on Earth, there would always be a war. There could be no peace. No one could do anything to change it.
"I see them!" Wufei warned.
"Spread out and attack!" Heero ordered.
Duo was the first to attack, going straight through the middle. Wufei took the left of them and Trowa the right. Heero watched the backs of the three incase they were to be surprised by behind. Quatre stayed back and didn't fight.
"Quatre, why don't you fight?" Heero demanded.
"I can't Heero," he answered, "I've got nothing left."
"I won't hear that from you." Heero said, "fight back."
Quatre closed his eyes for a while. This will be the last time I fight. He thought to himself. And I have to fight harder than ever before. Heero's right. I'm a gundam pilot. I have to. Trowa's right too, I have to give it all I've got and then in the end, it will all be over. Quatre opened his shining blue-green eyes. They were lined with determination and courage. He was going to escape just like his father did but put up the bravest fight ever. His Father would be proud of him. "Let's go, Sandrock," he whispered, "Fight like you've never fought before."
He clenched his teeth and took off with amazing speed to his enemies. He held out his sickle swords and cut the mobile suits in half as he went past them. "I'm tired of fighting you!" he shouted. "We must end this now!"
"I've never seen Quatre fight like this before," Duo said, stopping while he was wasting an enemy. "Alright, Quatre! Way to go!"
"Time for you to surrender!" he cried. Out of the corner of his eye he saw that Trowa had run out of ammo and was about to be attacked at the worst possible time. "Trowa, watch out!"
After fuming over Heavyarm's poor amunition storage, Trowa looked up at the screen. He was surrounded and nothing to fight back with except for his gundanium knife. Quatre zoomed over there, pushign the enimies back with his swords. They turned deadly red, charged with amazing power. He chucked them at the mobile suits.
"When are you going to stop fighting?!" Quatre demanded. "All of you!"
"Quatre, stop this!" Heero shouted.
"No, Heero! I've fought long and hard enough already. We all have. When will the fighting stop?" Quatre argued, "I should have listened to my father. But I am gonna listen to him now." He reached his hand to the self-detonate button.
The remaining four all sensed what he was about to do.
"What is he?" Trowa muttered, "He can't!"
"He wouldn't!" Wufei cried.
"He isn't!" Heero grunted.
"Oh, he can, he would and he is!" Duo shouted, "Quatre, don't to it!"
"Quatre pull back!" Heero ordered his pacifist teammate, "that's an order!"
"I don't think he's gonna listen to you, Heero," Duo said.
"Trowa, remember what I said, watch over Dorothy for me." Quatre said.
"Quatre, no! Don't do it!" Trowa shouted, "Please, don't do it!"
"Goodbye, my friends," he pushed the button.
"Oh no, pull back, pull back!" Heero instructed, "now, now!"
The Sandrock blew up, taking the surroudning mobile suits with it. Quatre, the noble of the desert, the only soldier with a pacifist's heart, was gone. The Gundam Pilots were short one pilot and that was a gap no one could ever fill.
"Quatre?" Trowa gasped, "Quatre, you fool!" his short gasp turned into a scream, "Why!? Why!? Why'd you do it? What's wrong with you!?" he banged his fist on side of the cockpit. "Darn you! I can't believe it…"
The other three said nothing for Trowa said it all. Silently, they stayed in the dark and still coldness of outer space for a moment, still wondering if Quatre was gone.
Unable to stand the silence, Heero breathed a sigh of sadness and kept his tough Perfect Soldier attitude and said, "let's go home. No point in staying here."
"They've returned!" people pointed to the gundams coming into the base.
"I only see four, I thought there was five of them."
"Dear God, I hope one didn't get killed."
The four pilots landed their gundams and slowly got out. They didn't say a word to anyone. Trying to keep a stiff upper lip, they got in their single line, with Heero leading the way. There was a gap between Trowa and Wufei where Quatre used to be. They walked with their heads tilted to the floor, holding their helmets in the crook of their arm. People whispered and gasped as they went by, knowing something was wrong.
Heero led them up to Lt. Noin who waited for them down the fence. "Where's Quatre?" she asked.
"Lt. Noin," Heero said, "we lost Quatre in the battle." He said it as a report and not a loss. He didn't want to sound like he was sad. He had to be the fearless, brave and strong leader everyone expected him to be.
Trowa sniffed but kept his face firm. Duo groaned in confusion. Wufei clenched his fists.
"We'll give him an honorable ceremony," Lt. Noin stated, "he was a brave and strong Gundam Pilot, like all of you." She sighed, "Quatre would not want us to be sad, so let's remember him with smiles, alright?"
Duo nodded, "yeah." But he didn't die an usual soldier's death. He killed himself.
"You must all be very tired," Lt. Noin said, "go and get some rest."
They walked down the hall to their separate rooms. Relena waited for Heero in her office, looking out the window. She stepped out of her office just as he passed it. "Heero?"
"Quatre didn't make it?" she asked.
"The team won't be the same without him," she said. "I'm going to miss him."
"Me too," he admitted.
"I'll let you go to your room," she went into her office but he grasped her hand. "Huh?"
"I think this is going to be one of the times I can't sleep."
Relena nodded and squeezed his hand, "come in. Tell me what happened if it makes you feel better."
Heero shrugged. He didn't want to go to sleep. There was no way he could go to sleep tonight after what happened. He often came to Relena's office after a battle and she let him sleep on her lap while he told her what happened. It was the only way he could sleep. Then she would talk to him while stroking his face softly with her finger and tell him about all the good things that will happen once all the fihgtin stops, that he'd become a hero. But he didn't' feel like a hero today. He made a huge mistake as leader. He should have done something instead of just watch one of his teammates sacrifice himself the way Quatre did. Heero felt like he failed. He failed everyone, himself, Quatre, the pilots, Relena, everyone.
Dorothy waited for Quatre in his room but she didn't know he wouldn't be returning. She heard voices of the other pilots talking as they headed toward their rooms. She smiled and got up. "Quatre!" she cried happily, stepping out of the room. Her smile disapeard when she saw that Quatre wasn't there. "Where's Quatre?"
Duo and Wufei walked away, letting out a sad sigh.
"Trowa?" she asked, "where is he?"
"I have some bad news," Trowa began. "Dorothy, this won't be easy but."
"Don't say it," she snapped, "he couldn't have died."
"He did die. Quatre's," he choked, "is gone. He self detonated in front of us all."
"Why would he do that?" she demanded, "we were, were going to be married next week!"
"I don't know why he did it. I guess so that we would survive."
"Quatre wouldn't do something like that," she said, "he, he just wouldn't!"
"I know, but he did."
Dorothy put her hand to her forehead. "Doesn't make sense."
"He asked me to watch over you."
Dorothy brought her hand down and made a short, abrupt laugh, "He what? Trowa, don't be crazy."
"I'm serious. He wanted me to take care of you. He wanted me to make sure that nothing happened to you."
"Trowa, you can never replace Quatre!" she shouted.
"I know that!" he shouted back, "he just trusted me enough to watch over you."
"Well, I don't need your help, I'm fine!" she snapped. "It was Quatre that I loved. It took me a long time to get over my guilt about what happened on Libra. I was a mess! Quatre helped me get better. And now he's gone and there's nothin---"
"Stop it, Dorothy!" he cried, "you weren't the only one who lost Quatre. He was my best friend. He played a very special role in the team. Now the gundam pilot team just won't be the same without him. So don't you start acting like you've the only one who lost him, understand?" having enough, Trowa turned and walked away to see Catherine.
Dorothy crossed her arms, yeah, go on, leave. She thought. I don't need you! I don't need anybody!
"Catherine?" Trowa peeked into her room. He saw her sitting on her bed with her head in her hands. "I guess you've heard."
"I'm so glad you're alright!" she took her hands down from her face and embraced him, "oh, Trowa, I'm so sorry about Quatre. I feel so bad for you!"
"You talk as if it's your fault," Trowa said, pulling her back. "You didn't do anything."
"It is my fault!" she cried, "Oh, Trowa, I know you'll hate me for this, but," she sniffed, "when you lost your memory couple years back and Quatre tried to bring you back to the team so you could fight again, I wished that the same thing that happed to you would happen to him."
"No, let me finish," she said, "if he really was your best friend, he'd understand what happened to you. You lost your memory because it was too painful for you. I wished that Quatre would lose his memory too. Have his gundam blown up and be floating around in space. I'm sorry, I never should have even thought of it! It's all my fault!"
"Hey," he grasped her arms, "I'm not mad at you. You're my big sister. It's only natural to feel that way. It's not your fault that Quatre self detonated back there. He did it because he didn't want to fight anymore and he did it to save us."
"You're not mad?" she asked, surprised.
"'Course not," he said with a smile. "You did nothing wrong, okay?"
Pieces of Gundanium floated around the coldness of outer space, surrounding a body. The body was unconcious.
"Do you see that?" a shuttle pilot asked the copilot.
"Yeah," the copilot answered.
"What's going on?" a woman with short blond hair walked into the cockpit. "Oh god…" she moaned, "the person isn't moving." She turned to the back, "I'm going to get him."
"You can't!" the pilot cried.
"Sure I can!" she answered, putting on a space suit and helmet, "because I certainly can't just leave him there! It would be manslauter!" she walked to the cockpit again, "get closer to him."
"Yes ma'am," the pilot did what she said.
The woman opened tied a rope around her waist and tied the other end on a bar. She opened the door and pused her feet agains the side of the shuttle, toward the still, unmoving body. Taking the body in her arms, she looked into the person's helmet. He looks familiar. She thought and then tugged on the rope. The co-pilot helped her in and she laid the body on the floor.
"Who is he?" the co-pilot asked.
"Hmm," she looked at his suit, "well, on his helmet, it says 'Quatre' same thing on the front of his suit and on the back, 'Desert Noble.' I guess his name is Quatre."
"And his nickname is Desert Noble."
The body shivered in her arms, "we have to take him with us!" she cried.
"I said do it! No excuses." Lisa said, "Greg, we are taking him to our base on L6. We can take care of him there."
"Shouldn't we take him to a hospital?" the pilot asked.
"No, James," she said, "this man is a gundam pilot. If we take him to a hospital everyone would be asking us questions about him. Our base is more secretive. No one will know we're taking care of him."
"Gundam pilots are rebels," the copilot added, "we just can't bring him in like a wounded cat!"
"Hey, we're rebels too, aren't we?" Lisa demanded, "Aren't we? Didn't we set up a small militia of our own?"
"He's just like us. And besides," she looked back into the face of Quatre, "I think he's cute."
Lisa, James and Gregory took Quatre to their base on L6. Lisa unclothed him and laid him in a sterile bed. Lisa held one of her hands in both of hers. "He feels so cold," she said to Paula, one of the nurses on her team.
"Well, the man was floating in space for God knows how long," Paula answered, "not to worry, we'll take good care of him."
"Yes," Lisa agreed, turning her eyes from Paula to Quatre's face. She pulled a tuft of hair from his forehead. "We'll take very good care of you, Quatre."
Quatre, as if he had heard her, breathed in deeply in his sleep.
THE NEXT DAY
"Time to go," Trowa told Dorothy. She came out of her room wearing a black long sleeved dress, black gloves and to keep people from noticing her tears, she wore a black hat with a lacy veil. Trowa took her hand and placed it over his forearm and escorted her down the chapel where a memorial service for Quatre was held. He sat down next to her and held her hand throughout the service. On a table, there were a few pictures and belongings of Quatre. An 8x10 with Quatre and Dorothy together, some pictures from a photo booth, another 8x10 with him and his magunacs, a 5x7 with him playing his piano, another playing his violin. There was one 5x7 with him and the rest of the team, holding their helmets. One of him as a child with his father. And a giant painting of Quatre on the back wall. He was standing in the middle of the desert, the desert sun shining on his shoulders. The rest of the table held his violin, his goggles, and a picture of his Sandrock.
"Quatre Rabera Winner was a wonderful person," Lt. Noin started. "and played an important part in the Gundam team." She went on about Quatre's life and then Quatre's older sister, Iria, spoke about her experince as his older sister.
"He was," Iria choked, "the best little brother any girl could ask for. I was proud to be his big sister."
Catherine sighed, Quatre was a good person, but Trowa's my little brother and I think he's the best little brother anyone could ask for.
Iria wiped a tear and looked at a picture of Quatre and then looked up at the audience, "does anyone else have something they'd like to share?"
Trowa looked around. A gundam pilot should have stood up, but Wufei kept his face down, Duo was also looking around the room and Heero was looking straight foreward, blocking out the reality.
"I will," Trowa said, standing up. He let go of Dorothy's hand. She would have stood up to say something, but she'll start crying in front of everybody.
Trowa cleared his throat, "I first met Quatre when I came back from my home colony. We were fighting each other and then he told us that we shouldn't be fighting. He had the army, so I surrendered. He took me to his home and I think we bonded as best friends, if not brothers." Trowa paused, thinking of something more thoughtful to say. Something that everyone would remember, "he was a real gentle and kind person. Know one would think a gundam pilot could be gentle, but I bet Quatre proved that wrong. He was the kindest and the most gentle one of us. Our team just won't be the same. He was my best friend and we're all going to miss him."
Duo wanted to jump up and start applauding. He couldn't have said it any better himself. Instead, he nodded to Trowa and murmured, "bye Quatre, where ever you are"
Trowa went back to his seat and took Dorothy's hand. Lt. Noin approached the front again, "thank you for taking time out of your busy schedules to remember Quatre today. I'm sure Quatre appreciates it."
The service was over and people went over to pay their respects to Quatre's sisters. Dorothy let go of Trowa's hand. Slowly, she stood up and walked to the front, as if she were in a daze. She picked up the picture of them together and put her fingers to her lips and then to Quatre's face. Sobbing, she placed the picture to her chest.
Trowa stood up and walked to her. "Dorothy?" he pulled his left hand up and put it on her right shoulder, giving it a little nudge toward him so he could comfort her. Dorothy turned around the rest of the way and buried her face into his chest.
"It's not fair!" she wailed, "it's just not fair! Why did Quatre have to die? I'm all alone again. My father, my gradnfather and my cousin are gone now. And now Quatre! He shouldn't have had to die."
"You're right." Trowa agreed. "He didn't have to die."
"I'm all…all alone!"
"No you're not," Trowa said, "Quatre wanted me to stay and protect you, so that's what I'm gonna do."
She sniffed, "you can't replace Quatre even if you tried."
"I know and I wish not to." He rubbed her back softly. "It will just be easier on the both of us if we shared the sorrow in losing Quatre together instead of alone. It was what Quatre wanted."
"Well if that's what Quatre wants," she wiped a tear and stepped back, "then I'm not going to argue." She looked at the picture of Quatre, smiled faintly and put it back down on the table. "The service is over and I'm tired. Can you take me back to my home?"
"Sure," he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and took her to her home.
*TWO WEEKS LATER*
"Lisa, look at this," Paula placed the newspaper on the foot of Quatre's bed and Lisa leaned forward to pick it up.
"Hmm, 'Winner's Only Son Dead'," she looked at Quatre, "oh my gosh, Quatre is, is, Mr. Winner's only son?"
"He's more than just a gundam pilot," Paula said, "he's, well, a celebrity and he's been in a coma since we've brought him here and when he wakes up, he'll probably want to go back home."
Lisa looked at the pictures of the memorial service. "I don't believe it."
Quatre groaned and his eyes began to flitter open.
"Paula, come here, he's waking up!" Lisa took both of Quatre's hand, "that's it, wake up."
Quatre looked at her vaguely, "who are you?"
"My name is Lisa. I saved your life. Quatre, how do you feel?"
"Oh my god," Lisa mumbled, "Paula, he has amnesia, he doesn't know his name!"
"Relax," Paula said, "this happens to coma patients sometimes. Quatre, do you hurt anywhere?"
Quatre shook his head.
"Is anything numb?" she poked his legs.
Quatre shook his head again.
"Can I get you anything?" she asked.
"Another blanket and a cup of tea." He said, "I'm," he shivered, "so cold."
"Sure thing, honey," Paula turned out of the room, followed by Lisa.
"Wait, Paula!" Lisa cried. "Maybe Quatre doesn't want to remember his past. So let's not show him the newspaper," she crumpled it and threw it in the trashcan. "Why don't we just make him one of us?"
"No, we can't, Lisa," Paula argued, "he has another life out there. People are worried about him, they think he's dead!"
"Then it's better that way. Let's just keep him here. What if he doesn't want to remember? What if his memories are too painful? It's just safer if we keep him here."
"And what if he wants to remember his past?" Paula demanded. "He's not a young child Lisa, he's a gundam pilot!"
"Well, if he starts to show signs of remembering anything," Lisa said, folding her arms, "then we'll tell him everything. But if not, he stays right here."
"Don't start with me, Paula!" Lisa barked, "I found him floating around in the cold darkness of outer space and I felt a deep sorrow when I touched him. I think Quatre wanted to die. He's probably running away. So I will decide whether he goes or stays!"
"You fell in love with him, haven't you?" Paula asked.
"For the past two weeks, I didn't leave his side. What do you think?" Lisa turned back to the door, "bring him some tea and a blanket. Bring two. I'm staying here with him."
"Okay," Paula sighed and did what she said.
Lisa walked back in the room and sat on the edge of his bed. Quatre was sitting up rubbing his eyes.
"I'm sorry you don't remember your name," Lisa sympathized, "must be awful. Do you remember anything of your past, Quatre?"
Quatre thought hard for a moment. He saw faces of people he should know and he remembered names, but he couldn't match faced with the names. He couldn't remember how he knew them. It was all a blur, not blank, he saw things, but didn't know what they were. He couldn't remember, but couldn't understand. "I-I'm not sure. It's all a blur. Could you tell me how I got here?"
"I found you in outer space," she said, "you were wearing this suit." She opened a dresser drawer, pulled it out and placed it over his lap. "Does it look familiar to you?"
Quatre touched the suit and a very frightening feeling came over him. He saw himself wearing the suit, walking with others wearing suits like his, holding helmets. Then they entered these large mobile suits. There was a battle and then he saw himself saying something, but he couldn't make out what he was saying. Then he saw himself push a button and all was blank. "Gaah!" he clutched his head.
"What is it, Quatre?" Lisa asked putting her hands on his wrists, "what's wrong?"
"Please, put it away. It scars me. Made me…see…something."
"What, what did you see?" Lisa looked in his eyes and pulled his hands from his head. "It's okay, you can tell me."
"I can't…It was to scary…I just can't tell you yet." He said, "can you just, get rid of it?"
Lisa was about to answer him, but Paula came in.
"Here's your tea and blanket Quatre," Paula came in holding blankets and a tea pot. Lisa took the suit so Paula could place it over him. "Better?"
She poured him some tea and when Quatre started to drink it, the taste was familiar. So familiar. "Peppermint," he whispered. "My favorite."
"You drink a lot of tea, Quatre?" Paula asked.
"I, think so," Quatre said. He knew the taste and he liked it. It was his favorite, but he don't know how it was his favorite. Everything was all so confusing.
"If you need anything, Quatre," Paula said, "another cup of tea, a blanket," she looked at Lisa, "the newspaper," and looked back at Quatre, "anything at all, don't hesitate to ask." She smiled and left the room.
Lisa looked at the suit. "I'm sorry if I frightened you," she said. "I was just trying to jog your memory. I didn't know you had a painful past." She cringed. What was she saying? It was a lie. She knew for a fact something awful happened to him back there. She should have known better than to bring that suit out.
"Please, get rid of it," Quatre turned his face away, "It scares me."
"Alright," she walked down the hall to the great room where the fireplace was. It wasn't burning. She placed wood in it with paper. Lit the fire and placed the suit over the flames. "You don't have to remember your painful past, Quatre." She said, staring into the flames, "you'll be safe here. I won't let anything happen to you."
TO BE CONTINUED…